Riddler

If that's what you want to call it.

Boy, count yourself lucky for catching me while I was listening to CAKE. The name's Sheeps, and incidentally, I am the 16 years of age, so if that makes me a 33% better person, that's great.

I don't know if that was at all comprehensible.

(this was originally all one message, but apparently I broke the word limit)

Dear sir(s),

It seems we have come upon a dispute between ourselves as to the quality of me, as a human being. I really don't dislike you, I just don't have enough reason to. Your manner of posting in a special format is fairly cruel on the eyes and seems pointlessly obnoxious, and you do seem to have some less than flattering and justified opinions about me. But hell, I don't know you, you could be the most likeable fellow on this side of the Mississippi, this could all be a misunderstanding. I'm typically bothered by random little things like this, an annoying characteristic. Fortunately, my tick is coinciding with a very good binge of listening to CAKE. So, what do you say we just put whatever gave you these negative opinions of me (and negative opinions of people of certain ages) behind us and become good friends?

Please stop with the red font.