F
Fr3AkAzOiD
Guest
*poster is drunk, please excuse gramatical errors*
(Possible spoilers but game have been out for a while so deal with it.)
(User is over the age of 21 and does not completly condone underage drinking, you know, standard PC bull****.)
(Updates are every few minutes so reactions are of how I'm feeling at that time with no idea of what is to come 5 minutes down the raod.)
Ok, newbie forum person finaly pulled ep 1 off of shelf even though purchased over 6 months ago.
MMORPGs don't really work with drunk persons as they tend to lose items that look a year to aquire so I pull a FPS off the shelf.
*mildly drunk user, entering episode 1*
Flying cars FTW!
"He is a robot, he has done the math."
*Kills suicidal zombies, runns up stairs*
.....Loading.....
So far in chapter 1 scene 1 I have fallen in about a dozen holes and have yet to kill anyone but that chick I'm following looks kinda hot in comparison to the original HL2, have yet to figure out if that is because of alcohol or graphical advances. *hopes her clothes catch fire and she is forced to remove them* ALSO *wonder why she gets the 9mm and I get stuck with a grav gun that as soon as I drop what I'm holding held item vanishies.*
Have found the corpses of about 6 armed guard types that have niether tazer batons or guns on them, what a jip.
Went outside for a smoke and game crashed, don't know if it is from spyware ridden Win2k pro operating system or game it's self.
Interface with the damned console faster, it's not like we aren't in a hurry woman!
.....LOADING.....
Super Grav gun for the win!
*falls down hole*
.....LOADING.....
Finaly makes jump.
Watches flying thing crash.
.....LOADING.....
Look up, watch out.
*Dies*
Look up, watch out.
*Dies*
Look up, watch out.
*gets idea and lives*
yay for me.
"Look, Stalker, what's it doing?"
Dies twice.
*keeps trying*
"Look out, run!!!"
*attempts to catch big heavy crushy thing with grav gun*
*dies*
*highly buzzed user entering scene 2*
"Reactor looks pretty far gone."
*Grav guns bodies into reator.*
"Welp, That didn't help and there is nothing else I can do. Is it time to go home yet?"
"Here is your elevator, (to your death) wish there was somthing else I could help you with."
*dies twice, kills like 6 security, keeps moving.*
(If I wanted to play a puzzle game I would pick up Tetris on my 1989 Gameboy. When do I get to shoot people?)
*Crawls through conduits wondering WTF he is doing.*
*kills people that get in way (hardly a challenge)*
*Replaces generic 1980's horror music with radiation detector sound effect as source of suspence."
Balls = energy = puzzle, give me a break.
*Rides elevator, kills half a dozen security, looks out over precipice.*
*Jumps off windmill. Kills another half dozen security. Goes outside for smoke*
*dodges balls, kills another half dozen security, shoots ball into collector thingy, continues.*
*back to normal grav gun*
*hopes to actualy shoot somone soon*
(chicha who ratted us out in HL2 in trouble, eeh, let her die.)
(taking an elevator to a train out of the Citadel, sounds like smooth sailing. (I know, wishfull thinking))
'Lets hope the worst is over." (Now that is really wishfull thinking)
*rumble,rumble,crash*
"Give it a jolt with teh gravity gun."
.....Loading.....
Mildly buzzed user entering scene 3
Grav gunning cynder blocks into zombies, finaly something I can excell at.
*Finaly gets shotgun, first task is to shoot a lock, what a letdown.*
*Pulls 9mm out of nowhere. Better late then never.*
"Thats like a Zombine, right? Get it?"
*Yea I get it, it's a stupid joke, now can we get the hell out of here?*
*Eeek, Antlions!*
*Umm....car plug hole, me no die.*
*Eeek, Antlions!*
*Umm....plugs 3 holes with cars.*
(Since when do garage security gates open with spinning a wheel?)
*All hell breaks loose zombie wise*
"That...was close." (No Sh**, Sherlock.)
Mildly buzzed user entering scene 4
(One long arse loading time in the elevator)
"Thank god it's daylight." (Is that supposed to make me feel better?)
"Come on Gordon, crank that thing."
"Great...Lets keep going before the Citadel blows."
(Euthenism anyone?)
*Sees lots of laser sniper targeter thingys. Hopes they are aiming at Antlions. Is wrong. Dies quickly.*
*Charges barrier that I see atleast 3 Combine behind. Slight glitch/refresh when I pass barrier, Combine gone. Chicha running to catch up, toast some Antlions while giving her covering fire.*
"I'd like to find another (less deadly) way around these buildings but we really don't have time."
(Today is a good day to be completly pwned. (Old Klingon proverb adapted to L33T sp3ak)) (takes smoke break) (New Years resolution, I promise. ;P )
(Give me a break, at this point I have been playing for over 4.5 hours.)
*Unloads on Antlion head honcho, Big Antion throws car at me, I Die*
*When fighting big Antlion explosive barrels > bullets*
*enters vent*
*dies twice*
"Ahh, your back so soon." (If you think you could do better why don't you climb in there instead of me doing the dirty work for you.)
*drowns in elevator* (Oh come on!)
*gets blown up about 37 different times before finaly making it through.*
*Makes it to surface, kills about 8 Combine, finds rocket launcher, this can't be good.*
Everyone get busy, It's what the DR. ordered.
*Blows TV away.*
"Your right, we don't have time to watch T.V." lmao
"They may call them crabs but they don't taste like crabs." lol
Making out on the couch.
*blows big bad flying thing out of the sky*
*big bad flying thing falls on me*
*You are dead*
(It saved right as I hit it with the last rocket so no matter what I do it falls on me, 4 deaths and still trying to find a way out with out replaying from last auto save.)
Finaly fround way to avoid falling ship.
Escort missions suck.
When I was finaly done with the escort mission I hit the *use* button on a door right when a cut scene started and somehow became fused to the door.
Tried reloading the save, using grav gun and even grenades and rocket launcher but couldn't detatch myself from the door to continue.
Guess I'll have to reload from a previous save and play (hopefully not too much) over again.
Calling it a night.
Will add as I play but I would guess the most amusing has already happened.
(Several hours later)
Hung over user with mild headache reloading from last save.
*Reads post from last night.*
Wow, I'm a huge dork when I've been drinking. lolz
Last auto save was all of 10 seconds earlier so I didn't have to replay the escorts, yay.
Just noticed Chicka I'm with is wearing a Black Mesa hoodie.
Call me slow if you like but that just means you have been spending a lot of time zoomed into her chest.
Strider can move an empty cargo trailer to crush you but can't shoot through rusted sheetmetal. Umm....yea.
Eat rocket you 3 legged freak.
Yay, a train ride.
Hole in sky opens up.
Blast wave aproaching.
Whites out...erm....yellows out I guess would be more accurate.
Gordon?........
Decent game, standard open ended HL ending.
Would have liked it if on the train ride something came after us that I had to shoot at from the back of the train.
Game was kind of short but for $20 was well worth it.
Had I not been drinking most of the time and had not been doing this mid-action report/walkthrough I probaly would have finished an hour or more sooner so I'm glad I took the long way to finish the game.
Never actualy done an after action report or walkthrough but I have to say I had fun.
This was not a "Hey people of the internet! I'm drunk, yay for me!" post.
I don't like feeding Trolls.
Just thought it would be something fun to do for my own amusment and if someone else got a kick out of it then that would be a bonus.
Will probaly do this again when I get Ep 2.
(Possible spoilers but game have been out for a while so deal with it.)
(User is over the age of 21 and does not completly condone underage drinking, you know, standard PC bull****.)
(Updates are every few minutes so reactions are of how I'm feeling at that time with no idea of what is to come 5 minutes down the raod.)
Ok, newbie forum person finaly pulled ep 1 off of shelf even though purchased over 6 months ago.
MMORPGs don't really work with drunk persons as they tend to lose items that look a year to aquire so I pull a FPS off the shelf.
*mildly drunk user, entering episode 1*
Flying cars FTW!
"He is a robot, he has done the math."
*Kills suicidal zombies, runns up stairs*
.....Loading.....
So far in chapter 1 scene 1 I have fallen in about a dozen holes and have yet to kill anyone but that chick I'm following looks kinda hot in comparison to the original HL2, have yet to figure out if that is because of alcohol or graphical advances. *hopes her clothes catch fire and she is forced to remove them* ALSO *wonder why she gets the 9mm and I get stuck with a grav gun that as soon as I drop what I'm holding held item vanishies.*
Have found the corpses of about 6 armed guard types that have niether tazer batons or guns on them, what a jip.
Went outside for a smoke and game crashed, don't know if it is from spyware ridden Win2k pro operating system or game it's self.
Interface with the damned console faster, it's not like we aren't in a hurry woman!
.....LOADING.....
Super Grav gun for the win!
*falls down hole*
.....LOADING.....
Finaly makes jump.
Watches flying thing crash.
.....LOADING.....
Look up, watch out.
*Dies*
Look up, watch out.
*Dies*
Look up, watch out.
*gets idea and lives*
yay for me.
"Look, Stalker, what's it doing?"
Dies twice.
*keeps trying*
"Look out, run!!!"
*attempts to catch big heavy crushy thing with grav gun*
*dies*
*highly buzzed user entering scene 2*
"Reactor looks pretty far gone."
*Grav guns bodies into reator.*
"Welp, That didn't help and there is nothing else I can do. Is it time to go home yet?"
"Here is your elevator, (to your death) wish there was somthing else I could help you with."
*dies twice, kills like 6 security, keeps moving.*
(If I wanted to play a puzzle game I would pick up Tetris on my 1989 Gameboy. When do I get to shoot people?)
*Crawls through conduits wondering WTF he is doing.*
*kills people that get in way (hardly a challenge)*
*Replaces generic 1980's horror music with radiation detector sound effect as source of suspence."
Balls = energy = puzzle, give me a break.
*Rides elevator, kills half a dozen security, looks out over precipice.*
*Jumps off windmill. Kills another half dozen security. Goes outside for smoke*
*dodges balls, kills another half dozen security, shoots ball into collector thingy, continues.*
*back to normal grav gun*
*hopes to actualy shoot somone soon*
(chicha who ratted us out in HL2 in trouble, eeh, let her die.)
(taking an elevator to a train out of the Citadel, sounds like smooth sailing. (I know, wishfull thinking))
'Lets hope the worst is over." (Now that is really wishfull thinking)
*rumble,rumble,crash*
"Give it a jolt with teh gravity gun."
.....Loading.....
Mildly buzzed user entering scene 3
Grav gunning cynder blocks into zombies, finaly something I can excell at.
*Finaly gets shotgun, first task is to shoot a lock, what a letdown.*
*Pulls 9mm out of nowhere. Better late then never.*
"Thats like a Zombine, right? Get it?"
*Yea I get it, it's a stupid joke, now can we get the hell out of here?*
*Eeek, Antlions!*
*Umm....car plug hole, me no die.*
*Eeek, Antlions!*
*Umm....plugs 3 holes with cars.*
(Since when do garage security gates open with spinning a wheel?)
*All hell breaks loose zombie wise*
"That...was close." (No Sh**, Sherlock.)
Mildly buzzed user entering scene 4
(One long arse loading time in the elevator)
"Thank god it's daylight." (Is that supposed to make me feel better?)
"Come on Gordon, crank that thing."
"Great...Lets keep going before the Citadel blows."
(Euthenism anyone?)
*Sees lots of laser sniper targeter thingys. Hopes they are aiming at Antlions. Is wrong. Dies quickly.*
*Charges barrier that I see atleast 3 Combine behind. Slight glitch/refresh when I pass barrier, Combine gone. Chicha running to catch up, toast some Antlions while giving her covering fire.*
"I'd like to find another (less deadly) way around these buildings but we really don't have time."
(Today is a good day to be completly pwned. (Old Klingon proverb adapted to L33T sp3ak)) (takes smoke break) (New Years resolution, I promise. ;P )
(Give me a break, at this point I have been playing for over 4.5 hours.)
*Unloads on Antlion head honcho, Big Antion throws car at me, I Die*
*When fighting big Antlion explosive barrels > bullets*
*enters vent*
*dies twice*
"Ahh, your back so soon." (If you think you could do better why don't you climb in there instead of me doing the dirty work for you.)
*drowns in elevator* (Oh come on!)
*gets blown up about 37 different times before finaly making it through.*
*Makes it to surface, kills about 8 Combine, finds rocket launcher, this can't be good.*
Everyone get busy, It's what the DR. ordered.
*Blows TV away.*
"Your right, we don't have time to watch T.V." lmao
"They may call them crabs but they don't taste like crabs." lol
Making out on the couch.
*blows big bad flying thing out of the sky*
*big bad flying thing falls on me*
*You are dead*
(It saved right as I hit it with the last rocket so no matter what I do it falls on me, 4 deaths and still trying to find a way out with out replaying from last auto save.)
Finaly fround way to avoid falling ship.
Escort missions suck.
When I was finaly done with the escort mission I hit the *use* button on a door right when a cut scene started and somehow became fused to the door.
Tried reloading the save, using grav gun and even grenades and rocket launcher but couldn't detatch myself from the door to continue.
Guess I'll have to reload from a previous save and play (hopefully not too much) over again.
Calling it a night.
Will add as I play but I would guess the most amusing has already happened.
(Several hours later)
Hung over user with mild headache reloading from last save.
*Reads post from last night.*
Wow, I'm a huge dork when I've been drinking. lolz
Last auto save was all of 10 seconds earlier so I didn't have to replay the escorts, yay.
Just noticed Chicka I'm with is wearing a Black Mesa hoodie.
Call me slow if you like but that just means you have been spending a lot of time zoomed into her chest.
Strider can move an empty cargo trailer to crush you but can't shoot through rusted sheetmetal. Umm....yea.
Eat rocket you 3 legged freak.
Yay, a train ride.
Hole in sky opens up.
Blast wave aproaching.
Whites out...erm....yellows out I guess would be more accurate.
Gordon?........
Decent game, standard open ended HL ending.
Would have liked it if on the train ride something came after us that I had to shoot at from the back of the train.
Game was kind of short but for $20 was well worth it.
Had I not been drinking most of the time and had not been doing this mid-action report/walkthrough I probaly would have finished an hour or more sooner so I'm glad I took the long way to finish the game.
Never actualy done an after action report or walkthrough but I have to say I had fun.
This was not a "Hey people of the internet! I'm drunk, yay for me!" post.
I don't like feeding Trolls.
Just thought it would be something fun to do for my own amusment and if someone else got a kick out of it then that would be a bonus.
Will probaly do this again when I get Ep 2.
