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The goals of man:

3 years old: not to wet himself

14 years old: to have friends

16 years old: to have a driver's license

18 years old: to have sex

35 years old: to make money

50 years old: to make more money

60 years old: to have sex

70 years old: to have a driver's license

75 years old: to have friends

80 years old: not to wet himself