Shockwaves

[Maxey]

Before we start, get this site ready and set to Portuguese to English translation, you'll need it.
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Chapter 1​

A dim light entered through the darkness while a painful silence marked the score. A fuzzy image of what seemed to be a human face started to enter the scene. As that image commenced to sharpen, pain made its debut. Suddenly a strong ringing echoed through the head. The world was shaking all around. As the face became more clear and the ringing started to fade, a sudden urge invaded the mind. A primitve urge for survival. And then, even more suddenly then that, all the senses came back at once and the result was painful. The spectators were suspended and everyone expected the resolution for the cliffhanger. And then it all became clear. A brown and red sky invaded the eyes. The air was hot and heavy, and smelled of ashes. Loud cracks were going off all around. It felt like chaos. The piece was a tragedy and the main star wasn't happy.

- Maria! Are you ok?

It sounded like a man talking.

- Maria? Is everything ok?

The man seemed to be talking to her, but she didn't understand what he was saying.

- Maria, can you hear me?

She looked at him but didn't say anything. Who was that man and what was he saying?

- It's me, Jack.

The man was definitely talking to her. Maybe he was trying to help.

- Onde estou? - she said, weakly.

The man drew a confused look on his face.

- What? Say that louder!

She wasn't still understanding him.

- Onde raio estou?

The man seemed to be even more puzzled.

- Why are you talking in Portuguese?

Did he said portuguese?

- Sim, sou Portuguesa!

The man then stood up. She tried to move, but a strong pain in the back paralysed her movements. A scream of pain escaped from her throat.

- Don't move! I'll take you out of there.

The man then turned to another two men nearby.

- Hey, you two. I need a hand here!

The two men ran towards him.

- Quick! We have to take her out of here before they come back!

Then the three men grabbed her and lifted her from the ground. Suddenly the pain started to fade away.

- You're a lucky lady, Maria! You've just survived a grenade blast! - said one of the men.

What kind of strange language was that? Does anyone speaks her language around there?

- Não vos entendo...

- What? - asked the other man.

The first man then said.

- I don't know what's happening, I tried to talk to her but she didn't seem to understand what I was saying. And to makes things worse, she's now talking Portuguese.

That word again. Does he know she is portuguese?

- Where's her brother Carlos? - asked one of the men.

Carlos? Were they talking about her brother?

- Carlos! Onde é que ele está? - she asked, nervously.

- Stay calm Maria! We're going to find Carlos. Just stay calm and don't move.

But who were they? And where was Carlos? Where was she?

- Larguem-me! Onde está o meu irmão?!

She struggled to get off, but another wave of pain forced her to stop.

- God damn! Stay quiet Maria! Don't make this any worse for you! - shouted the first man.

- Carlos! Carlos! Onde estás! Vem ajudar-me! - the screams echoed back to her.

- Maria! Estou aqui! - the voice was coming from behind.

It was Carlos! The familiar voice was like a balm to her pain. A violent stream of tears ran from her eyes. Then the familar face showed up.

- Maria, estás bem? Que te aconteceu? - then he turned to one of the men - What happened to her?

He too was talking the strange language. What the hell was going on?

- She just survived a grenade blast! - the man seemed to be concerned - But I think she hurt her back badly.

Carlos was concerned too.

- Damn... Maria, vais ficar bem, prometo! Mas não te podes mexer, as tuas costas podem estar seriamente feridas.

- Carlos, o que é que me aconteceu? - she was starting to get sleepy.

- Eu explico depois. Precisas de descansar.

The world started to shake again and all the sounds were getting softer.
And then darkness covered her eyes once again.

 

[Broso]

Haven't read it all yet but since no-one else has said anything i'll comment lol. Pretty darn good, Chapter 2 please

 

[Maxey]

Chapter 2​

The soft heat of the sun involved her face like a warm hand. A gentle and fresh wind fondled her semi-nude body and made her shake a little. A smooth and wet sand covered her bare feet. The relaxing sound of the sea was complemented with the distant chanting of the seagulls. This instant of peace and harmony couldn't get any more perfect. Yes, this was a moment to remember forever.

- Wake up, Maria.

That voice. It sounded familiar.

- Maria, wake up.

The voice was distant and muffled. It quickly dissipated into the darkness.

- Wake up!

It was getting closer.

- Maria!

The light was entering the darkness again. A feeling of dejá-vu assaulted Maria's mind.

- Wake up.

The voice was authoritary and Maria decided to obey it. With a bit of effort she woke up all of her senses. But this time, instead of chaos and mayhem, there was peace and silence. Instead of a burned up sky, there was a dull and grey ceiling. Instead of loud cracks all around, there was silence. Instead of a smell of ashes, there was a smell of blood. Instead of lying in a dirty ground, she was lying on a soft bed. But the pain was still there. Like several blazing hot irons burning her muscles from the inside.

- Maria, are you ok? Still having pain?

Maria turned her head in the direction of the voice. It was her brother, Carlos.

- Carlos... I was having a good dream... Why did you have to awake me?

Carlos looked really concerned.

- Sorry, sis. I had to. The doctor here needs to check on your back. - Maria saw a tall man standing behind him - Are you still feeling any pain? - insisted Carlos.

- Yes... - she answered, with a weak voice.

Carlos then turned to the man and muttered something to him. The tall man then approached her and crouched to her level.

- Hello Maria. I'm Dr. Henderson.

Maria didn't understand a word of what he said. She looked back at Carlos.

- What did he just said? - asked her.

- Oh, sorry Dr. Henderson. I forgot to tell you, but when she woke up from the blast, she wasn't able to understand or speak English. I think she may have amnesia. Partially, at least. She still remembers me.

Carlos was speaking that strange language again.

- Carlos, what the hell are you saying? Where am I? - she said, with visible nervosism.

- Stay calm Maria. - said Carlos - Just let the doctor check you up and then I'll explain everything to you. We need to be sure that everything's ok with you.

Maria let the doctor examine her. She was trying hard to get the pieces together, but the puzzle was too confusing and there were pieces missing. What happened to her? Where was she? Why were people talking in that weird language? Where was the rest of her family?
The doctor finished the check-up and said something to Carlos.

- He said your back is fine and that the rest is just superficial injuries. - he said, aliviated.

The doctor said something more.

- But you can't make any movements for a while and you need to rest for the rest of the day. - he added.

Maria was still confused.

- Carlos, can you tell me now what is happening here?

He stared at her for a while, then sat down and took a deep breath before starting.

- You seriously don't remember anything before you woke up in the street?

Maria tried to remember anything associated with it, but there was nothing.

- I.. I don't really know. Where are we?

- In a place called City 17.

- City 17?

Maria looked around, puzzled. The room was small and ugly. The walls were all grey and full of holes. The furniture consisted of the bed she was on, two chairs and a big wooden crate. There were a few small boxes scattered around in the ground. The only source of light was a small window, with a broken glass, through where the sunlight penetrated. Through it, she could see the burned sky and what seemed to be a tall metal tower, so tall, it perfurated the sky.

- Is this Lisbon? - she asked then.

- No. And I'm afraid Lisbon doesn't even exist anymore...

- What? Why?

Carlos turned his head around and pointed directly to the tower.

- Because of them...

 

[Maxey]

To avoid confusion, I've decided to write all the dialogue in English from now own.

Having to translate dozens of lines is just too much hassle, and the translation sometimes isn't the best. I'll point out when she's not understanding through narration.

 

[Maxey]

Chapter 3​

- Them? Who are them?- asked Maria.

- The Combine. - answered Carlos.

- The Combine? Who are they?

Carlos left the chair and walked towards the window.

- They came from the sky... - mumbled him - And destroyed everything. Everything.

- They? The Combine?

- Yes. They killed everyone. Almost wiped humanity from the face of earth in a question of days.

Maria didn't know if she had to believe it or not.

- Are you serious? - she asked, starting to feel panicked.

- Unfortunately, I am.

Suddenly a violent memory hit her brain like a hammer.

- My baby! - screamed Maria desperately - Where's my baby! I need to find her!

She tried to get up from the bed, but another violent wave of pain struck her back like a lightning. The sudden pain made her fall from the bed and hit the ground bellyside down.

- Maria! - screamed Carlos as he quickly ran towards her. - Stay calm, don't move!

- Where's Ana? I need to find her! - said Maria, gasping and with a look of terror in her eyes.

- Ana's not here, Maria.

Maria felt as pure fear ran through her veins, freezing her blood and blocking her brain.

- Where is she? - her voice trembled.

Carlos' eyes became wet and dark.

- Just stay calm, sis. Everything's going to be ok.

- WHERE IS ANA?! - shouted Maria, with the heart obliterated by desperation and the voice powered by horror.

Carlos shut his eyes and a tear streamed down his face. This was more than enough for her.

- No... - her voice was vanishing. A cold and dark feeling seized her body and she started to feel the room spinning around her. A powerful force closed her vocal cords and impeded her from making any sound. A pain much stronger than anything she has ever felt burned inside her. Maria was suspended in a thin rope threatening to break. And then it broke. All the primitive fears were let loose and opened the channel for a violent stream of tears. And from the deepness of Maria's inner self, a weeping scream of horror was released.

- NO! Not my baby... - she screamed - Oh my god... My baby is dead... No...

Maria tried to get up, but the pain wouldn't let her. She looked at Carlos, he was crying too. She then tried to say something, but her voice vanished again.

It was then when a loud explosion went off outside and the whole room shaked violently. Instinctively, Maria put her arms on the head to protect it from the falling debris.

- STRIDER!! - a man shout from the outside - GET COVER!

Still covering her head with her arms, Maria felt as someone spinned her backside down and lifted her from the ground. The back pain came back and she screamed.

- I'm sorry sis, but I have to take you out of here. This place is not safe anymore.

 

[Maxey]

Epic thread resurrection.

Dear god, did I actually write that piece of crap?

That is a textbook example of what is wrong with fan-fiction: OTT narration and dialogue.