100 Quotes from Christian Fundamentalists

[Tyguy]

http://duggmirror.com/comedy/100_Greatest_Quotes_from_fundamentalist_christian_chat_rooms/

Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.

ugh...

 

[The Monkey]

Been posted many times before, but still funny.

 

[Krynn72]

This is like a monthly post around here haha.

 

[Avoidist]

I'm torn between frightening repitition, vomit-inducing ignorance and extreme hilarity. Heck, I'll go the positive route:

ROFL

 

[Tyguy]

Been posted many times before, but still funny.

aww, my bad...first time i saw it. Always good for another laugh though

 

[CptStern]

ya I've posted it a few times myself


this is still my fave:

" I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!"

 

[Druckles]

Sometimes I think atheists do it just to take the piss

 

[Godron]

[Am I in discussion with a human who has a functioning brain?]

What does a functioning brain have to do with the Bible?

I know it's old, but I thought that one deserved to be posted again.

I don't really have any problem with old stuff being re-posted, because there'll always be some people who've never seen it before.

 

[xcellerate]

I weigh 172 sin; that's 63 kilosins for you europeans.

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

Old, but still hilarious.

[about a girl being born with mental disabilities]

This girl is like a leper so what she needs to do is try and find god

if she really believes she can be healed from this state, she will be healed from this state

Most afflictions like this are caused by sins committed while still inside the womb. If she can repent for what she does god will embrace her and make her as human as you or me but if she chooses not to she'll always be like this

god tests every one of us [emphasis added]

There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't know that much about it does not bother me in the least.

You got it backwards.

Creationism is based upon science, reason and tons of evidence.

Evolution is based on the blind acceptance of superstitions and fairy tales.

Some of my favs.

 

[Druckles]

If the Bible is wrong when it tells us it is infallible, then it contradicts itself. If it contradicts itself, then it is unreliable. If it is unreliable, then our faith is totally shattered and Christianity is a lie. You need to seriously reconsider your logic.

Possibly my favourite so far

 

[xcellerate]

Creationism is based upon science, reason and tons of evidence.

I love how they always use the half truths to explain stuff.

Like with gravity they say "if gravity exists shouldn't people orbit around the space shuttle?!" And that's exactly what would happen if the shuttle was massive enough.

Or

"World population growth rate in recent times is about 2% per year. Practicable application of growth rate throughout human history would be about half that number. Wars, disease, famine, etc. have wiped out approximately one third of the population on average every 82 years. Starting with eight people, and applying these growth rates since the Flood of Noah's day (about 4500 years ago) would give a total human population at just under six billion people. However, application on an evolutionary time scale runs into major difficulties. Starting with one "couple" just 41,000 years ago would give us a total population of 2 x 1089. The universe does not have space to hold so many bodies."

Astronomical estimates of the distance to various galaxies gives conflicting data. The Biblical Record refers to the expansion of space by the Creator. Astrophysicist Russell Humphries demonstrates that such space expansion would dilate time in distant space. This could explain a recent creation with great distances to the stars.

Creationism is so silly.

 

[Warbie]

Christian fundamentalists are stupid

 

[Cavalry]

No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims.

theres even a major christian forum D: http://www.freejesus.net/home/index.php?sid=4008efd9254e1d8baa833d4c5add0cb9

Athiests as a Majority

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go **** a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men ****ing eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

lolwat?
so an atheist is intolerant of all other religions?

 

[nurizeko]

Yuuuup, Christians are stupid.

posted by Druckles:

Originally Posted by Fanatically Wrong
If the Bible is wrong when it tells us it is infallible, then it contradicts itself. If it contradicts itself, then it is unreliable. If it is unreliable, then our faith is totally shattered and Christianity is a lie. You need to seriously reconsider your logic.

I'm really tempted to make this my new sig.

 

[Druckles]

Ah, Christians are funny...

It's funneh arguing with my own parents, too.

 

[xcellerate]

this is my fav.

Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!

omg, I had a lemon with my water, the citric acid is eating me alive!! arghhh!!!!

 

[mchammer75040]

If you mean that men have ever been animals you are 100 percent wrong. No evidence under the sun can prove that I was ever my pet cat. ET can happen within a species but not between species.

fsdt is a communist cesspoll of far left liberals and other satanic worshipping people who enjoy nothing more than hurting the otherwise good image of Religious people who wish nothing more than to speak the truth. You can address my points here, but submiting my ideas to that fascist website does nothing more than raise a white flag of "I surrender, because I refuse to address the content of what you said". Please, take off your fantasy helmet for just a few moments and look over what I have said.

 

[xcellerate]

the best part of this is that while we are sitting here face palming each other, all the creationists are on their website face palming each other and we're both confused as to why the other side can't see the truth.

 

[mchammer75040]

The only difference is is they dont have the crack research behind them that we do they just stick their fingers in their ears and say hush! hush!

 

[Jintor]

the best part of this is that while we are sitting here face palming each other, all the creationists are on their website face palming each other and we're both confused as to why the other side can't see the truth.

But... but... we're just so right!