Dennis Miller about the Middle-East-> lol

[Ome_Vince]

Source

This is funny, though its ranting from a right-winger, it has some disturbing generalisations and i question alot of the so called "facts", he does have some hilarious points and comparissons: its a funny read (but dont take much of this stuff seriously, reason for this post follows below):

(btw, also thought this guy was from Saterday Night Live)

For those who don't know, Comedian and Social Commentator Dennis Miller has
a show called Dennis Miller
Live on HBO.
He recently went on a rant about the Middle East situation:

From Dennis Miller:

"A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service to
all Americans who still don't get it, I now offer you the story of the
Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you really need.

Don't thank me*I'm a giver.

Here we go:

The Palestinians want their own country. There's just one thing about
that:


There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word. Israel was called
Palestine for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan," "Palestinian" sounds
ancient but is really a modern invention. Before the Israelis won the
land in war, Gaza was owned by Egypt, and there were no "Palestinians"
then, and the West Bank was owned by Jordan, and there were no
"Palestinians" then. As soon as the Jews took over and started growing
oranges as big as basketballs, what do you know, say hello to the
"Palestinians," weeping for their deep bond with their lost "land" and
"nation."


So for the sake of honesty, let's not use the word "Palestinian" any more
to describe these delightful folks, who dance for joy at our deaths until
someone points out they're being taped. Instead, let's call them what they
are: "Other Arabs Who Can't Accomplish Anything In Life And Would Rather
Wrap Themselves In the Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And Death."


I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN.


How about this, then: "Adjacent Jew-Haters."


Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want their own country. Oops, just one
more thing. No, they don't. They could've had their own country any time
in the last thirty years, especially two years ago at Camp David. But if
you have your own country, you have to have traffic lights and garbage
trucks and Chambers of Commerce, and, worse, you actually have to figure
out some way to make a living. That's no fun. No, they want what all the
other Jew-Haters in the region want: Israel. They also want a big pile of
dead Jews, of course - that's where the real fun is -but mostly they want
Israel. Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel - or "The Zionist
Entity" as their textbooks call it -for the last fifty years has allowed
the rulers of Arab countries to divert the attention of their own people
away from the fact that they're the blue-ribbon most illiterate, poorest,
and tribally backward on God's Earth, and if you've ever been around God's
Earth, you know that's really saying something. It makes me roll my eyes
every time one of our pundits waxes poetic about the great history and
culture of the Muslim Mideast.


Unless I'm missing something, the Arabs haven't given anything to the
world since Algebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that one.


Chew this around and spit it out: Five hundred million Arabs; five million
Jews. Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, and Israel as a

pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these same folks
swear that if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches, everyone will

be pals. Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the string of
wars to obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of rabid blood
oaths to drive every Jew into the sea?


Oh, that? We were just kidding. My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous
point the other day: Just reverse the numbers. Imagine five hundred
million Jews and five million Arabs. I was stunned at the simple
brilliance of it.


Can anyone picture the Jews strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite
to themselves?


Of course not. Or marshaling every fiber and force at their disposal for
generations to drive a tiny Arab state into the sea? Nonsense. Or dancing
for joy at the murder of innocents? Impossible. Or spreading and believing

horrible lies about the Arabs baking their bread with the blood of
children? Disgusting. No, as you know, left to themselves in a world of
peace, the worst Jews would ever do to people is debate them to death.


Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a tightrope. I understand that with
vital operations coming up against Iraq and others, it's in our interest,
as Americans, to try to stabilize our Arab allies as much as possible, and,

after all, that can't be much harder than stabilizing a roomful of
supermodels who've just had their drugs taken away. However, in any
big-picture strategy, there's always a danger of losing moral weight.


We've already lost some. After September 11 our president told us and the
world he was going to root out all terrorists and the countries that
supported them. Beautiful. Then the Israelis, after months and months of
having the equivalent of an Oklahoma City every week (and then every day)
start to do the same thing we did, and we tell them to show restraint. If
America were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day, we would all
very shortly be screaming for the administration to just be done with it
and kill everything south of the Mediterranean and east of the Jordan.

Now regardless of whether this guy is a conservative nutjob or not the reason i posted this was because some of his comments are interesting to at least think about: the football field with the matchbox was interesting because it leads to where i'd like to go with this topic: how do you think this could be "solved".

Looking at the situation, chances are slim a mere "land give" would just "solve this".

Now, what i was wondering, and hoping to hear from people, is their take on how the Israeli-Palestinian crisis "could be solved" realistically.

Note: this is not intended as an Israel sucks, or Palestinians suck topic, merely a hypothetical discussion on how people think this could be solved or has a chance of solving.
So its not about pointing fingers here.
I know we're not experts, but i'm interested to hear the opinions.

 

[Death.Trap]

America were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day, we would all
very shortly be screaming for the administration to just be done with it
and kill everything south of the Mediterranean and east of the Jordan.

 

[VictimOfScience]

Hahaha! Dennis Miller effing rules and has for quite some time. And yes, he was great on SNL.

The Middle East will never be a stable region. Even without Isreal in the equation, the Muslim community hates each as much as they hate the Jews--possibly more! This is where Osama failed with the Spet. 11 attacks: he tried to galvanize the Muslim world in a unified movement of war against the crusaders (i.e. the Western World) that he knew would strike back at them for the horrendous plane attacks. The problem is that most Muslims didn't immediately start hating and taking up arms and this will never happen. Look at Iraq--most of the violence we hear about is Muslims killing other Muslims and not Americans killing Iraqi civilians or some such.

The current situation with Israel and Lebanon will likely decide the fate of the region for the foreseeable future as we don't know what will happen with Syria and Iran just yet. I really don't know if there is any good way to solve it. Neither side will take anything les than total victory it seems--land gives don't work unfortunately. Diplomacy there too is just words so I don't see that happening too soon. Hard to say, but the world is watching the events very closely because this thing could easliy blow up at any moment and involve A LOT more people and nations that just the surrounding ones....

 

[Ome_Vince]

Interesting point, its true muslims are very divided, just as christians and atheists are.
For instance Iran consists of the former Persian empire ->Aryan race and not Arabic, originally alien to Islam.

 

[VictimOfScience]

just as christians and atheists are.

Indeed, but there are few places around the globe where you find them blowing each other up with such urgency.

For instance Iran consists of the former Persian empire ->Aryan race and not Arabic, originally alien to Islam.

Yup, conquest changes a lot of things...not all for the better. :|

 

[mortiz]

Israel may accomplish a short term solution in stopping Hezbollah missiles being fired into Israel but what about the long term consequences? Hezbollah will become more like an idea as oppose to an organization with the next generation of young, radicalized Lebanon citizens. An idea is far harder to destroy that an organization.

If Israel were being precise with their strikes it wouldn't be so bad, but they're not, they're going in like an elephant let rampage in a garden of petunias. In terms of the death count Israel has inflicted, Hezbollah members are by far in the minority. Simply bombing central districts of cities in the hope that you may take some Hezbollah members out just isn't good enough. Israel need to identify exactly who and where the Hezbollah members are and then go in quickly and get out. This bombing campaign is inaccurate and sloppy. I don't know if Israel even have the ability to deal with Hezbollah in a way that will minimize the loss of civilian life, hell, they couldn't even identify a UN look-out post despite "UN" being printed in large letters on the side and 10 calls saying "Hey, we're UN observers, idiots". They must have taken intelligence gathering tips from the Americans.

 

[Ome_Vince]

Hezbollah was allready "an idea". They make sure they're deep into society, with their "civilian side" doing alot of school + hospital work.

But this discussion was about possible solutions to the Palestina-Israel conflict.