Quite an odd night

sinkoman

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(there is no point to this. I was bored, so I decided to, once again, try my hand at writing. Don't try to make sense out of it, you won't)

Premise:I got home the other night at about 12:30 in the morning, and was feeling rather depressed, so I put on my shorts, tossed on my jacket, and went for a walk.

I knew this spot near a local elementary school that had a killer view, and the clouds looked beautiful against the full moon that night, so I started walking.

But i'd spent the entire day prior riding, so about halfway up the hill to the spot, my legs started giving out. So I took a detour to a nearby park, planted my ass on a table under a tree, and fell asleep.

Woke up around 1:40 ish and went back home. The story is supposed to be about what was going through my mind before I fell asleep.

/premise

So there I lay, in the first hour of the morning, in nothing more than a set of light brown cargo shorts, a well worn belt, and an over sized brown jacket zipped snugly against my bare chest. I bore with me my own keys, a stick of ?Burt's Bees? lip balm, my own phone, and my own iPod.

The jacket zipper felt cold against my bare skin. I first thought to myself, ?I should have put on a ****ing shirt before I left...?, and then, upon further introspection, ?this is ****ing ridiculous, I shouldn't even be out here at this hour?.

But something forced me to stay. Perhaps I wanted to create an intriguing story I could force upon my peers, perhaps it was my primal rage to do something different. I'd like to think though, that it was because I wanted the space and privacy one often requires to cry.

Yet as I stared into the soft patches of moonlight, stenciled out by the thick park foliage overhead, I felt no surplus of tears to expend. Perhaps I had met the urge with action far too late. After all, the urge itself met I a week prior. The romantic in me refused to accept such a bland assumption, and instead insisted that ?it had been so long since I last cried that I'd forgotten how to?.

But I knew that was just a line. Carefully thought out and worded to as to incite a precise emotion from those the line was strewn before. I like to think that I'm pretty good at making ?lines?. I pre-think certain sections of a multitude of possible conversations, and save them to be inserted at precise moments of real life social interaction.

I bullshit people a lot like that. I t kind of scares me though, to think that I had just bullshitted myself.

My legs started getting cold. I closed my eyes, and suddenly noticed an odd ?moving? sensation in my thighs. It was as if all the muscle mass in them was moving downwards and collecting right above my knee caps.

The sensation brought some joy to my mind. I was hoping that it'd culminate in intense pain, as if that were to happen, I could call Nicolai, and order him to come pick me up. I'd have his utmost attention, and in my emotionally distressed and lonely state, the thought invigorated me.
 
Way to ruin a thread you lazy asses.

That was pretty well written, but what the hell?
 
Way to ruin a thread you lazy asses.

That was pretty well written, but what the hell?

I got home the other night at about 12:30 in the morning, and was feeling rather depressed, so I put on my shorts, tossed on my jacket, and went for a walk.

I knew this spot near a local elementary school that had a killer view, and the clouds looked beautiful against the full moon that night, so I started walking.

But i'd spent the entire day prior riding, so about halfway up the hill to the spot, my legs started giving out. So I took a detour to a nearby park, planted my ass on a table under a tree, and fell asleep.

Woke up around 1:40 ish and went back home. The story is supposed to be about what was going through my mind before I fell asleep.

I suppose I should have stated that :P
 
The part about making up lines to use in conversations reminded me I used to do that. It's interesting how you can sway a person's response in this way especially if you are.. morally bankrupt, so to speak.
 
?lleh eht tahw tub ,nettirw llew yttep saw thaT

.sessa yzal uoy daerht a niur ot yaW

Edit: Ok, **** that entire idea.
 
I see then. That's rather interesting.

Eric you forgot the r in pretty.
 
wtf is with everyone on these forums being depressed?
 
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Seriously though whats with HL2.net and this innate ability to attract really random shit threads?.

wtf is with everyone on these forums being depressed?

Teenagers.
 
That was a well written short story, Sinko. It's what would be called a very short tale. There are two types of short story. Tales, and Sketches. Tales are more descriptive of actions, and focus mainly around the story, whereas sketches are used more to give a feeling of place through more descriptions of the surroundings.

I think you nailed the tale pretty well.

EDIT: To Nurizeko; you're still a newbie on these forums, so your opinion doesn't count. However it just so happens that a lot of people on these boards are exceptional writers, so try not to act like a douchebag and leave if you don't like a short story.
 
No connection to the first:

So he lamented over his own mental torment. How does one allow one's self to slip into such a position? Tis such idiocy to let another keep such a vice around one's own self confidence.

It was akin to mentally castrating himself, and the madness lay in the fact that said person didn't even know of the vice she bore on his life. The anguish came not from her constant loosening and clenching, but in the fact that she didn't even know she was doing so. Every little social defeat came not from the setbacks themselves, but from knowing that she didn't know.

To sit and wish he could yell at her to stop, to scream straight to her face just what she was doing to him. To actually detail the acts and how they were killing him.

He wasn't even interested in her, emotionally or sexually. He saw her as merely a friend. Not very close a friend, but the distance one requires to refer to another as an acquaintance was nowhere to be found (although he wished he could shake its warm and welcoming hand).

Thus he set off to reset the bricks of his own ego. The foundation remained, but the mortar had long fallen, to be reset when she so allowed, and swept again when she forced.
 
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