Babies.

What's the difference between a birthday cake and a dead baby?

I put candles in a birthday cake before I eat it.
 
toaster-chan said:
The thought of carrying another human inside me terrifies me. The thought of a child that's part me terrifies me even more than that.
Click to expand...

Don't worry it terrifies me as well.

Whats worse than a barrel full of dead babies?

A baby at the bottom eating its way out.
 
toaster-chan said:
The thought of carrying another human inside me terrifies me. The thought of a child that's part me terrifies me even more than that.

I don't have much of a problem with other peoples' children, as long as I'm not responsible for them or around them too long. My sister just had a baby, and when I was visiting her in Minnesota, the first few days were okay. By the end of the week... not so much.

I don't really ever see myself having kids. I just couldn't handle it. I think the only way it would ever possibly happen would be if I adopted a child that was already at least 5 or 6.
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Most likely your views will change as you grow. I think more or less the same (although i'd be more frightened of a human being inside me) but it would be nice to have a child sometime when the time is right.

But at the moment I couldn't possibly contemplate the thought of having to raise a child. It would hold me back on pretty much everything I want with life at the moment (college, a "light" relationship, et al).
 
I've already got 3, and they're great. Best 5 minutes I ever spent.
 
evil^milk said:
But at the moment I couldn't possibly contemplate the thought of having to raise a child. It would hold me back on pretty much everything I want with life at the moment (college, a "light" relationship, et al).
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This too. I don't want kids until I'm about thirty or so.

What do you call it when a baby is stillborn during water birth?

Soup.
 
Babies smell! They're noisy, they're messy, they're expensive.
 
toaster-chan said:
The thought of carrying another human inside me terrifies me. The thought of a child that's part me terrifies me even more than that.

I don't have much of a problem with other peoples' children, as long as I'm not responsible for them or around them too long. My sister just had a baby, and when I was visiting her in Minnesota, the first few days were okay. By the end of the week... not so much.

I don't really ever see myself having kids. I just couldn't handle it. I think the only way it would ever possibly happen would be if I adopted a child that was already at least 5 or 6.
Click to expand...

D:




I desire to have my own offspring, so the first born can inherit all my stuff when I die.
Wow, 4 pages and Stern hasn't come in damning us to hell because we "don't know anything about parenting"? :P
 
Kids are epic. Preferably one girl and one boy, so I get a taste of both :p
 
oh god lmao, willie and stiggy own this thread hands down.

And no Im never having kids, I can hardly keep myself groomed let alone some dumb ass kid cramping my style with all that responsibility.
 
I thought I didn't want kids a few months back, but now... I don't know, I'll stop typing now before I say something I regret (read: something sweet and clich?'d).
 
Isn't the damn planet already overpopulated ffs ?

If it were to happen, then probably adoption.
 
Kids, awesome awesome awesome awesome.

It was awesome being a kid, it's going to be awesome having a kid. Pity my sperm count is so horrendously low and the ones that do swim are lazy ****ing assholes.
 
toaster-chan said:
The thought of carrying another human inside me terrifies me. The thought of a child that's part me terrifies me even more than that.

I don't have much of a problem with other peoples' children, as long as I'm not responsible for them or around them too long. My sister just had a baby, and when I was visiting her in Minnesota, the first few days were okay. By the end of the week... not so much.

I don't really ever see myself having kids. I just couldn't handle it. I think the only way it would ever possibly happen would be if I adopted a child that was already at least 5 or 6.
Click to expand...
This opinion will be inversed when you reach 35 years of age.



I AM EXCITED.
 
Samon said:
No, I really don't want kids at any point. I've got this thing, where I like to be free; I like to go where I want, do what I want and when I want. I hate being tied down or having attachments of any real kind. I love change and new things, and I can't do that being anchored down.
Click to expand...

My thoughts exactly

Mr-Fusion said:
This opinion will be inversed when you reach 35 years of age.
Click to expand...

Her opinion maybe. Mine? No...

Isn't the damn planet already overpopulated ffs ?
Click to expand...

Oh, and my favorite argument for not having kids
 
I want kids. In fact, I would consider my life failure if I didn't get any.

I want three, two girls and one boy. I want to get them when I'm young, between 25 and 30.

---

What's the difference bewteen a potato and a dead baby? I don't cum on my potato before I eat it.
 
I'm not sure if I want to bring kids into what this world will become.

On the one hand, weather and resources are not as bad as we're told, on the other hand, we are told bad things because people are trying to control us.

On the other hand, if they are anything like me...or if they aren't... 50/50 we're saved/we're ****ed kinda deal.
My 2 brothers already have 3 kids, and one surviving my late sister. I'm an uncle x4. The ones that gurgle aren't so bad, but the ones that talk and walk, little heathens. Spawns of satan when they want to be.
 
I could never have kids. I'd make a pretty terrible father.

-Angry Lawyer
 
I am your father..

Imagine saying that to your child, imagine the thoughts running through your head..
 
Definitely.
Probably a few years after my girlfriend and I finish Uni. Pretty sure we'll still be together /touch wood.
 
I'm willing to risk being sad and alone in my old age, that's how much I don't want to be a parent. Plus, my irrational fear of pregnancy is up there with ocean trenches and spiders.
 
Kaptain H said:
I'm willing to risk being sad and alone in my old age, that's how much I don't want to be a parent. Plus, my irrational fear of pregnancy is up there with ocean trenches and spiders.
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You're a woman?
 
You know what's great is the amount of people who don't want kids to the ratio of people that do, it seems like it's balancing out.

I'll tell you one thing though, aside from more selfish reasons of wanting kids (the joy of having and raising them), personally, I'm an only child so I have a lot of pressure on me and I look at it this way: all my ancestors had kids (duh, right?), but to really think about it that for thousands of years, THOUSANDS OF YEARS, since the dawn of man, these genes have been passed along and you're the final culmination of those thousands of years...I am the last. I carry all my mother's genes and all my father's genes, DNA from two branches countless thousands of years old. If I didn't have kids it's like none of that actually mattered. What an asshole I'd be. A whole shit-ton of people f*cked so I could be here; the least I can do is reciprocate.

Angry Lawyer said:
I'm scared of large robots. Like, deathly afraid.
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Oh, finally I think I've found my true mortal enemy! I've had such an unsuccessful run of people who I thought were my mortal enemies, but I think you're really it! You have to be; you're my antithesis!
 
What do you get when you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
Deep Throat.
 
Having to work with kids on a fairly consistent basis (I'm a tutor), I can honestly say that being around kids for hours on-end for few days out of a week really has changed my way of thinking. I mean, I used to think "hmm... having kids sounds nice, 2-3 should be good" but now, man I'm not even so sure if I even want one. The thing is, when kids turn out right, they can be fun to be around. But for every 4-5 normal kids, there seems to be one ****up which really drives me insane. Granted, bad parenting probably has a lot to do with this but I can't even imagine the emotional / physical drain it must have when it's your own kid that you have to take care of 24/7 and he's driving you nuts at the same time. I only deal with them for 1.5 hour per group and that already feels like an eternity if I get the ADHD-with-an-attitude kids.

Well, all this is a bit of a moot point since I'm way too young to be thinking of having kids, but if there's one thing that tutoring has taught me; it's that children can literally drive you batshit insane...
 
I decided long ago not to have children myself. I do however have both my sisters children to spoil :)
 
funny how almost every single person stated a selfish reason for wanting/not wanting kids ..even though it changes your life having kids has a more profound effect on the kids you make ..anyways that said, my kids are the best thing that has ever happened to me or to my wife
 
and they're a great source of cheap labour!
 
hell ya, cant wait till he's old enough to mow the lawn

"mow the lawn! and dont lose any toes in the process like your sister did"
 
I'd like kids in the future, once I'd settled down, had a job..etc

And they would like star wars. and half life. and all the other awesome stuff, but they wouldn't be allowed to touch my toys ?_?
 
*Pulls a baby out of pocket and bites off a piece*

Theyyyy'rrre great!

Anyways, it a bit early for me to be thinking kids, so I'll be leaving this thread. I only came here for the dead baby jokes anyway.
 
Dezartfox said:
And they would like star wars. and half life. and all the other awesome stuff, but they wouldn't be allowed to touch my toys ?_?
Click to expand...
Dude, you HAVE to pass down your toys eventually. That's birthright stuff right there.

"And to you, my son, I bequeath all my action figures, including that limited edition 12" Boba Fett."
 
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