CptStern
suckmonkey
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- May 5, 2004
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Not for the kiddies:
story found on the internets;
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story found on the internets;
WARNING: What follows is a highly graphic tale of sex and... perversion the likes of which have not been seen in a long time. It is NWS if you have someone that reads over your shoulder. And if you're highly offended, PLEASE DO NOT READ
So I was working at Universal at the time doing the entertainment thing, but two days a week I worked as an orientation guide for the new hires, taking them around the place and showing them the sights... Explaining the story line.. Basically a Universal shill to make people feel great about working there (And I was really good at it too!). Well one of my tours had two deaf girls in it which means I had ASL interpreters on my tour.
Now for anyone that?s done public speaking with ASL interpreters knows, it's annoying as hell. I understand they're doing something very noble and commendable... And they were AWESOME people... But every time you talk all you see out of the corner of your eye is this waving thing that keeps catching your eye and you try to ignore it but you can't... Bloody horrible. I hated it. But they were HOT interpreters, so I was very happy.
So whenever we had a few minutes downtime I'd get friendly with the interpreters and, in return, with the deaf girls. After a good six hours I had gotten no where. But the two deaf girls were completely enamored with me. So I decided to cut my loses and got their cell phone numbers.
This is something that blew me away. They took out their cell phones and gave me the numbers. I looked at the interpreters, and looked back at the girls and had a serious WTF look on my face. Everyone had a good laugh at me and I found out that many deaf folk have cell phones for texting purposes only (which leads me to the next question, why don't Cingular and friends have a device specifically for deaf folk? But I digress). Anyway, that was that. They went on their way and I forgot all about it for a few weeks.
I was out on set one night when they come walking up and sweeping the ground. Apparently they couldn't put them anywhere clerical so until they found a spot they were doing janitorial work together for like $30 an hour. Good deal in my book. So I jump down to go wave hello without remembering I was wearing this:
http://img77.imageshack.us/my.php?image=chrisandmel8uc.jpg
Apparently one of the girls has a phobia about costumed characters and flipped out, so I felt really bad. Anyway they both ran like hell, and I didn't see them again that night.
The next evening I wasn't working, but I stayed after my day shift to come over and apologized. I ended up writing everything down on a pad and talking to them for about 20 minutes about my other jobs in the park. It was quite fun not being able to talk to them... Something about a woman that won't talk back... Most excellent. Anyway... They both got off in a few minutes so they invited me back to their place for coffee. I agreed, and we left together.
I end up going over to their place and watching a movie with both of them... After about 20 minutes I asked if we could turn the volume on as well as CC and they both laughed hysterically at me :\ at one point in the evening they both left the room (afterwards I found out they were flipping a coin) and only one of them returned, wearing her night clothes. Lucky for me it was the cute one. We sat cuddling for awhile, and it ended up turning into more than cuddling... And so on. Meanwhile the other girl takes her sexual frustrations to her cell phone, and texts everyone at the deaf school they used to go to to find someone to get laid with. One guy responds, and shows up about an hour later. They retire to her bedroom.. And that was that.
In the end the other deaf girl and I head to her bedroom. I'm ashamed to tell you that I can't remember her name. At all. Anyway she shuts the door, turns around, and says "Now you're all mine" Except.. That?s not what she says, 'cause she's deaf. It came out more like:
"Mahh yuhhh awww miiinggggg"
Have you ever experienced something so awful during sex that your erection does not just simply go away, but you go from hard to flaccid so fast that you can feel your pants fold in on themselves on top of your now limp member? If you have then you understand how I felt at that moment. All of a sudden all the turnons that she used, all the tricks and games she played with mouth... Everything... Meant nothing.
I could not get an errection.
It was horrifying... The sound.. was awful. I, however, had not been laid in almost a month (I remember when such a prospect was unthinkable), and if I struck out with the deaf girl I would always be remembered as "That kid who struck out with the deaf girl." I had a reputation to protect. I had to do this... For all the men out there who have ever looked at their wife and thought "She'd be so much better if she just shut the **** up and screwed me." So we got it on.
Apparently those things in her ears were cochlear implants, and she had a rudimentry understanding of speech, and could emulate most sounds to a passing degree. Unfortunetly for me her friend and her.. ****buddy were in this exact same situation, and they picked that moment to start a symphony of such horrid passion that even deathmetal freaks would be put out. The two would moan to eachother in such as to make sure eachother felt the vibrations against their skin and implants. It was some sort of odd turnon. The sound it made was something akin to the background effects in "Hostel." Whereas a normal human female would moan in the normal "Oooooooooh" or "Mmmmmoooohhhhhhhhhhh," their soundtrack was more of a cross between Chewbacca and Scooby Doo in a wrestling match over a sheep.
Surfice to say that this was the ultimate test of my manhood. Could I get it up and still **** with these sounds going on? The answer was yes, and within 4 quick selfstrokes I was back in buisness. Apparently deaf school is pretty much sex education 24/7, and she definetly put me through my paces. But every time we switched positions it was "Duhhh disss fill guhhhhdah?" or "Duuu yeuuuu litttee dat?" Come to think of itm it was the aural equivilent of someone reading a ghetto persons myspace. Now she was good, and she was tight, and I DID end up lasting an honest three times... But... Good god...
Every minute or two something that I can only guess was wonderful would happen in the next room, and a scream would errupt. The first three times I thought it was the girl, but after awhile I listened and realized that no, that was the guy she had brought over attempting to emulate a moan... Then the girl I was with would give me another "Led duu iht diss wahhh" and we would switch. The cycle would start over again, me being able to forget who and what I was doing for a few moments, until another grunt from next door would interupt my train of thought. Even worse was when we were kissing, and I could hear the crack and hiss of the implants she had in.
Eventually I think I just blacked out. I don't remember us stopping, but all of a sudden she was asleep and naked next to me, and I couldn't close my eyes. I snuck out from underneath her, put my clothes back on, and tiptoed to the door. Halfway there I remembered that I didn't need to sneak around, and just walked outside.
I didn't know what to do that night, so I drove around for awhile. I ended up out in Daytona watching the sun come up over the ocean and reflecting on where my life was leading.
I'd see her every now and then, walking around the park with her rboom and dustpan. She'd walk up to me and try to talk, but I'd pat my pockets and mouth "I don't have any pen or paper! I'll go get some" as emphatically as I could, and run off. Eventually she just stopped walking up to me, and I moved on to a girl with an anal fetish.
But every now and then I sit in bed and think about that night. And sometimes if I listen really hard I think I can almost hear her across the city, happy with her new boy. And together they lay in bed and cry out in passion.
"Rrrrwwwwllaaaaarrrmmmmmmmmm"
gold
