My showreel zombie

[naturon]

Hey guys,
Im doing a 3D animation course which goes for a year and ends in dec, my showreel is my final short movie piece and i have a zombie theme :naughty:.
I just wanted to show you my progress and get feedback cause i can always count on the internets to be brutally honest. cheers

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

That's good, but the wounds could use a little more gore!

 

[Krynn72]

K, ill be brutal. First thing I noticed was the teeth. They need to be much more detailed in their modeling. Right now it looks like you spend 20 minutes on them, and then smoothed it. Second thing I noticed was that the guy's face is much too long because of his mouth open like that. Its not realistic, because his jaw is just dropping from the back of his mouth, and not pivoting like the jaw actually does. If the jaw is supposed to be broken, disconnected, and just hanging off his head, then it needs to be rotated to a side so that it looks like its actually hanging.

He should also have fleshy bits hanging off the larger wounds, and probably some strands left connecting his cheek to the lower jaw to make it seem like it was ripped off instead of surgically removed. I think his wounds are too smoothed out in general, and could use some rough edges and such. He should probably also be missing some teeth by that wound, and some others broken or chipped.

The ears are pretty weird, in the way they connect to the head on the bottom. They are also too deeply pushed in at the top, and should have a more curvy profile when looked at from the front view.

It looks like the middle of his forehead comes out further than the eyebrows, which is wrong. The eyebrows should be more defined in general too. His eyelids are stretched too far back on the sides, and come to too sharp a point. His nose should have the nostrils flaring if he is making that face, but you have them just disappearing.

Also, it looks like his eyes caved in on themselves at the pupils, which looks intentional... but its kinda weird to me.

K, thats all . Looking forward to seeing an update.

 

[Dekstar]

I think his eyes should be white glazed not red, as it looks creepier to me. Also Agreed with Krynn, you should have the jaw on a slant to show how the jaw is dislocated. Also if you're planning on modelling the whole body you should tilt the head. I say that only if you're modelling the body because it wouldn't really work if it was just the head

 

[Ryding]

well i only saw 2 flaws, 1. he was boring of a Inter-racial family because his Head is black and his neck is white (Unless your were going more along the lines of Inter-Racial Frankenstein. His mother was a jew and his father was black (Menichal Laughter)

And 2 how the **** is he gonna eat when all his food is going to fall out the side of his face?

 

[Krynn72]

The black/white skin is just because of his shader and his light. White lights = not good.

 

[naturon]

gday,
thanx for the feedback, im working on the jaw and fixed the eyelids so there not so sharp and pointy, yeah the colour difference in the face and neck was from the light and the reflectivity map which is now fixed
I am gonna model the whole body and animate him so the head bendiness will come with time.
thanx for the feedback ill post a few screeneys in a few days to show u progress and u can beat down all my hard work in one post again (not metioning any names krynn ) naa just kidding thanx for the honesty seriously its the only way ill get better, btw if theres anything i definatly shouldnt change let me know so i dont sutff it up, its so hard to tell when youve been staring at the same thing for ages.

 

[naturon]

hey hey, here he is again, ive touched him up a bit fixed the eye pointyness somewhat and the blendshapes work more like a mouth should, the diffuse and reflectivity map are better and i fixed the lights to more like what they will be in the final scene.
I also started on the arms but they need better bumps right now, and finally theres a bit of concept art so u can get an idea of how he should turn out.
Thanx alot

 

[Asuka]

Keep up the practice, right now from my untrained eye it looks retarded. sry.