Need some serious advice

[Mattigus]

Alright, here's the situation.

I've been living in a dorm room with 5 other guys, 3 of them I know. The two other guys were total strangers who didn't know each other or us. We've all been getting along for the entire semester. Only certain developments are bringing our room some issues.

One of the roommates has been having psychological problems since around the middle of the semester. We think it was started because of a girlfriend break up or something. Anyway, he began taking prescription anti-depressants and hiring psychologists. He started losing sleep and got on sleep meds. His dosages have been steadily increasing.

Now here is where it gets serious. A couple nights ago his roommate found him hopped up on sleeping pills cutting his arm. He was dripping the blood into a cup. When we asked him what he was going to do with it, he said "I dunno, drink it?" We got him outside for a cigarette, where he started talking to one of our roommates about how he was planning suicide, and what he would do.

Everyone in our room is really concerned about it. Last year, my best friend (another roommate) had an ordeal where a girl who lived across from her attempted suicide by slicing her wrists. He busted into the room and saved her life by pressing down on the cuts, but the entire ordeal left him traumatized. I know we don't need another situation like that happening in our own room.

This is where I need the advice. What the hell do I do about this? I like the kid alright, but he obviously has mental problems. As of right now, we have only one option: Call the cops. But we want that to be our last option. We can't confront him about it, because we barely know the kid, and it would more than likely make it worse.

I have no idea what to do. I want to help the kid, but I don't think calling the cops and telling them to institutionalize him will be the best for him. We've set Monday as the day where we'll decide what to do. Until then, I need some suggestions on how to deal with this situation. Any takers?

 

[evil^milk]

You say you barely know the guy. You think it would be wise to get him to open up and share his problems with you all (and vice versa)? Just generally get to know him.

 

[<RJMC>]

kick the emo-vampire wanabe out

 

[Icarusintel]

you came to the wrong place for advice

 

[Krynn72]

Call his family derr. Have his mother or father or something come down or talk to him about it. Its obvious he cant handle being on his own right now, see if you can get him back with his family.

Its really the only logical thing... unless you need an immediate solution (ie: his trying to kill himself right now), in which case you call 911.




Or, stick it in his pooper.

 

[zleppelin]

"I have no idea what to do. I want to help the kid, but I don't think calling the cops and telling them to institutionalize him will be the best for him. "

Tell the guy that he put you in a tough situation. Explain to him what you explained to us. Additionally, don't call the cops. Call your resident assistant (or whatever) and explain to him what you explained to us. But first make sure you tell the guy that, in light of his behavior, you plan to do this (you don't want to upset him). Whether the guy gets institutionalized is not your problem, nor for you to decide. Or would you rather have this guy do something stupid and be blamed for not doing anything about it? Let him explain his case to the person in charge of that building and let them take it from there.

 

[Link]

I realise this isn't the PC attitude, but frankly, **** him. There are 2 possibilitys:
1/. He has decided that he does not have the will power/strength to deal with whatever his problem is
2/. He is upset about something and is attention seeking

Now, in situation 1, hey, who are you to tell him what to decide? And if its situation 2, then he wouldn't actually do it, and if he accidentally did, well, hes hurting others for his own gain (seeing him hurting himself would hurt most people mentally).

Look at it this way. Guns are common in the states. You can't tell me that he couldn't get his hands on one if he had a mind to. Shit, I could over here if I really wanted to, and guns are illegal in almost all forms in the uk. So if he really wanted to die, he could.

Like I say, I know it seems heartless, but you have to make your call. Theres always someone worse off than you, so tbh, I'll give my help to somoene whos worse off than him, but is at least willing to make the effort to help themselves.

Anyway, go ahead and tell me what a terrible person I am because I don't care about this particualr indiviual

 

[evil^milk]

you came to the wrong place for advice

Wrong.

Oh c'mon, who gives better advice than a video-gameing site?

But really, people can give some good advice here.

 

[Krynn72]

Anyway, go ahead and tell me what a terrible person I am because I don't care about this particualr indiviual

You're a wonderful person and I want your babies... to eat.



plz?

 

[Link]

Don't fill up on babies before dinner!

 

[Geogaddi]

Babies! Fun to make! Fun to eat!

 

[RakuraiTenjin]

let him kill himself cause dont you get 4.0 for the semester if your roommate commits suicide?

 

[Steven]

Kill him so he can't commit suicide.

 

[CyberPitz]

kick the emo-vampire wanabe out

Kind of what I was thinking. Let him cut his wrists then drink his blood somewhere else.

 

[Vass]

Man, you guys are morbid. I'm with Krynn and the call his family idea.

 

[zleppelin]

I don't think calling his family would be a good idea. At least not without first consulting the guy about it. Think about how his parents are going to feel. Think about how the guy is going to feel.

Warn him though, that if he can't get his life in order, you will have a moral obligation to call his family.

 

[function9]

If he is serious, make sure you call dibs on his good stuff before he goes (computers, handheld devices, blender, etc).

 

[Krynn72]

I don't think calling his family would be a good idea. At least not without first consulting the guy about it. Think about how his parents are going to feel. Think about how the guy is going to feel.

Warn him though, that if he can't get his life in order, you will have a moral obligation to call his family.

Im sure the parents would rather know their son is suicidal than to have no son at all anymore. They wont stop loving him and will help him out. Its not a bad idea at all, and i doubt consulting the guy would do a damn thing. Hes hopped up on drugs and drinking his own blood. Im pretty sure he isnt in the proper state of mind for him to make any decisions.

 

[Stigmata]

Hey, I have a great idea! Let's all pretend depression is hilarious, and is never a serious issue! Suicidal people don't deserve to be helped!

:|

 

[function9]

Hey, I have a great idea! Let's all pretend posting on a gaming website for advice about depression is hilarious, and is never a serious issue! Suicidal people don't deserve to be helped!

Fixed.

 

[Krynn72]

Hey, I have a great idea! Let's all realize that depression is hilarious, and is never a serious issue! Suicidal people don't deserve to be helped!

Fixed 2

 

[Darkwolf]

If you don't know the guy that well then he is not going to have a good reason for feeling backstabbed if he gets proffesional help. So why don't you get proffesional help, THEN call his parents, so that there is no chance of him doing something irrational.

 

[tehsolace]

Its not your place to give him advice. Hes a stranger to you. Find out who his family or friends are and have him get help. If that fails, I recommend moving out if he doesn't first.

 

[Operational]

Contacting his family could be risky - for all you know they could be the cause of his current state.
I would try to contact the psychologist he is seeing and let them know what has happened. Medicating depression can be difficult and his current dosage might have contributed to his worsting state and if that is the case then they definitely need to know whats happened.
Other than that isn't there someone on campus who can help?

Oh and to the people saying let him die or that he is weak or finding this situation funny - you should be ashamed of yourselves. Depression is a disease and doesn't make that person any less of a human being as any other type of disease or disability.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_depression#Causes_of_depression
so just STFU or GTFO.

 

[Mattigus]

By the way, I am almost positive that his meds are the cause of all of this. Before he started taking them, he never did shit like this, and he was a really cool guy, too.

 

[Stigmata]

Contacting his family could be risky - for all you know they could be the cause of his current state.
I would try to contact the psychologist he is seeing and let them know what has happened. Medicating depression can be difficult and his current dosage might have contributed to his worsting state and if that is the case then they definitely need to know whats happened.
Other than that isn't there someone on campus who can help?

Oh and to the people saying let him die or that he is weak or finding this situation funny - you should be ashamed of yourselves. Depression is a disease and doesn't make that person any less of a human being as any other type of disease or disability.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_depression#Causes_of_depression
so just STFU or GTFO.

Seriously.

 

[Geogaddi]

I was on antidepressants for a while, but instead of making me suicidal, I became homicidal...Luckily it never became bad enough that I acted on it...but yeah... medication definitely can **** you up.

Also

let him kill himself cause dont you get 4.0 for the semester if your roommate commits suicide?

As horrible as that is, pretty good advice?

 

[Operational]

So what are you going to do Mattigus?

 

[Neutrino]

Hey, I have a great idea! Let's all pretend depression is hilarious, and is never a serious issue! Suicidal people don't deserve to be helped!

:|

It's truly sad how many people think this way. Just part of the general stigma of mental illness that prevents so many people from getting the help they need.

As for the original question, I would start by talking to him first. Try to get him to open up and express your concern to him and let him know that you want to help. If you feel that that isn't going to solve the problem you may have to take the issue up with other sources. One option is to talk with the student counseling center on campus. However, this can be difficult because they're not much they can do unless they think he's in immediate danger from himself. As others have suggested you could also talk with a resident hall assistant or his parents, just to let them know you are worried about the situation. Do be careful about going behind his back as he may take it badly, but in the end if you think he's in danger then it's worth it.

One positive thing though is that he has seen counselors in the past and got on medication. Taking those actions indicates that he does actively wish to get better, meaning he will hopefully be accepting of any attempts to help him.

 

[Evo]

Call his family or get another doctor down there, sounds like the meds f*cked him up big time

 

[Link]

Depression is a disease and doesn't make that person any less of a human being as any other type of disease or disability.

Didn't say it did. Trying to kill yourself, which essentially is a method of shuntting your pain onto loved ones, does though.

 

[evil^milk]

It's truly sad how many people think this way. Just part of the general stigma of mental illness that prevents so many people from getting the help they need.

As for the original question, I would start by talking to him first. Try to get him to open up and express your concern to him and let him know that you want to help. If you feel that that isn't going to solve the problem you may have to take the issue up with other sources. One option is to talk with the student counseling center on campus. However, this can be difficult because they're not much they can do unless they think he's in immediate danger from himself. As others have suggested you could also talk with a resident hall assistant or his parents, just to let them know you are worried about the situation. Do be careful about going behind his back as he may take it badly, but in the end if you think he's in danger then it's worth it.

One positive thing though is that he has seen counselors in the past and got on medication. Taking those actions indicates that he does actively wish to get better, meaning he will hopefully be accepting of any attempts to help him.

QFT, go with Neutrino's advice here.

 

[Stigmata]

Didn't say it did. Trying to kill yourself, which essentially is a method of shuntting your pain onto loved ones, does though.

Except when you're depressed to that degree, you generally lose a lot of human rationality, not to mention your ability to think about things in terms that extend beyond yourself.

"I feel like my life is a living Hell and that continuing my existence makes the world a worse place, but NOW I realize that if I kill myself, I'm going to hurt others! Oh well, time to put away that knife! Yay for life!"

That generally doesn't happen.

The whole point is that it IS a mental illness, and you can't expect someone with a mental illness to be thinking logically, now can you?

 

[rambler]

get his best mate from home to come and see him.

 

[Solaris]

What you need to do is tell a college official or something. Maybe whoever owns the apartments or whatever.

 

[Que-Ever]

It's the meds. ****ing hate doctors... always putting shit in you and you don't know what it is or what it'll do...

 

[Mattigus]

As for the original question, I would start by talking to him first. Try to get him to open up and express your concern to him and let him know that you want to help. If you feel that that isn't going to solve the problem you may have to take the issue up with other sources. One option is to talk with the student counseling center on campus. However, this can be difficult because they're not much they can do unless they think he's in immediate danger from himself. As others have suggested you could also talk with a resident hall assistant or his parents, just to let them know you are worried about the situation. Do be careful about going behind his back as he may take it badly, but in the end if you think he's in danger then it's worth it.

One positive thing though is that he has seen counselors in the past and got on medication. Taking those actions indicates that he does actively wish to get better, meaning he will hopefully be accepting of any attempts to help him.

I'm positive that talking to him about it is a bad idea. I mean, if this was my best friend, then yeah, it would work. But we all just met this kid a few months ago, and we don't hang out all that much anyway. If we all approached him and told him how his craziness is freaking us out, he probably would act cheery and pretend everything is alright. But in reality, he will just get even more depressed, because he'll probably see us as looking down on him.

As for the medication thing, I don't think those are making him better. I'm sure before the meds he was depressed and had sleeping issues, but after getting on the meds was when the cutting happened. These issues only pop up when he takes a REDICULOUS amount of drugs. He's gone through three different psychiatrists, they've all given him cocktails of antidepressants and sleep medication, and apparently they've all recommended that he be institutionalized.

I'm pretty sure he needs professional help, but I don't think getting the cops to force him out of college the week of finals without warning is the best way of going about it.

 

[MorganFreeman911]

Take him to a Psyciatrist, again?

 

[Link]

I'm positive that talking to him about it is a bad idea. I mean, if this was my best friend, then yeah, it would work. But we all just met this kid a few months ago, and we don't hang out all that much anyway. If we all approached him and told him how his craziness is freaking us out, he probably would act cheery and pretend everything is alright. But in reality, he will just get even more depressed, because he'll probably see us as looking down on him.

True. I'm not saying that depression is easy, or insignificant, but how you deal with it is what counts. I'm also not saying that I thinkhe deserves to die. What I'm saying is that, if he wants to die, that should be his call. And if hes faking for attention, then I don't care if he dies.

I would give this as an example. Someone is drunk. They need to get home. Its to far to walk and theres no public transport. They can either drive, or ask someone they don't like for a lift. It would be far harder to ask somone you don't like for a lift, but if he drove and wrapped himself round a tree, would you care? I wouldn't.

 

[Ennui]

I'm positive that talking to him about it is a bad idea. I mean, if this was my best friend, then yeah, it would work. But we all just met this kid a few months ago, and we don't hang out all that much anyway. If we all approached him and told him how his craziness is freaking us out, he probably would act cheery and pretend everything is alright. But in reality, he will just get even more depressed, because he'll probably see us as looking down on him.

As for the medication thing, I don't think those are making him better. I'm sure before the meds he was depressed and had sleeping issues, but after getting on the meds was when the cutting happened. These issues only pop up when he takes a REDICULOUS amount of drugs. He's gone through three different psychiatrists, they've all given him cocktails of antidepressants and sleep medication, and apparently they've all recommended that he be institutionalized.

I'm pretty sure he needs professional help, but I don't think getting the cops to force him out of college the week of finals without warning is the best way of going about it.

Let him know that you and your roomates value him a lot as a person. Make sure he's fully aware that he's one of the group, regardless of whether he actually is or not. Take him out with you for a night, hang out with him, make him feel like he's worth something to someone.