Off the wagon...

sinkoman

sinkoman

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I don't really post here anymore, but I thought this would be a good place to come out and thought dump about this topic, seeing as how I made a thread about it the last time it was a prevalent theme in my life.

So, after probably something like 3 years of having kicked a pack a day smoking habit, I was a huge pussy and relapsed. I remember making a self-congratulatory (i.e. masturbatory) thread about it when I had finally managed to quit, but oddly enough, quitting at the time was incredibly easy. I was just fed up with smoking, and really hated the act of it so much, that after getting too sick to consistently chain smoke, I gave it up. Ironically though, I can't seem to get over how much I enjoy it now.

What's really pathetic, is how much I try to come up with excuses for this shit. "Oh ****, i'm just going through some shit", or "I was in a weird spot and caved", are the typical quips I spew when people ask why the hell I went back to it. But, from a purely logical standpoint, I had been (idiotically) smoking spliffs with my friends, which progressed to smoking spliffs on my own, which progressed to taking drags from friends, which spiraled into bumming them from friends and strangers, at which point I thought to myself "Well, I guess I gotta support my own habit with my own money". A part of me really believes though, that it was some sort of pathetic cry for attention.

I bought a bag of Top from a gas station a little less than a week ago. ****... I bought it last Friday, and I doubt it'll even last me to tomorrow. The trip was out of the way too; I went with the explicit goal of buying either a pack or some rolling tobacco, and I trembled like an eager meth-addict the whole way There. I came out to my mom about it afterwards, since she smoked for a decent chunk of time too. I told her, and everybody else, that i'd quit again after this bag. But what really sucks is that I think i'm just ****ing lying to myself when I tell that to other people.

I smoked my first cigarette of today with a cup of coffee, and it was great. I loved it so much that I thought to myself, "Damn, I dunno if I can just drop it like that after today...". I came up with more excuses: "Oh, I just gotta fix my mindset, and then i'll be ready to quit", or "yeah, once i'm feeling better emotionally, then i'll quit".

I think i'm going to go pour another cup of coffee once i'm done with this post. Another cigarette would go great with that, but I just may have to turn it down, in an effort to stretch this bag as far as possible. That'd be 3 cigarettes in 3 hours too. A boge and some coffee sounds so good right now though...

TL;DR : Sinko is a huge crybaby who started smoking again
 
Quit being a pussy and stop like you say you are going to
 
ktimekiller said:
Quit being a pussy and stop like you say you are going to
Click to expand...

I really think that's the most eloquent way to say it. I just gotta sack up and drop it, cold turkey. I did it once before, so no amount of melodramatic fussing can excuse the fact that I can do it again.

Now is really a bad ****ing time for this to be happening though, because I have a lot of summer projects coming up in the next few weeks, which I can't afford to not be on my game for. I think my best bet will be to just cave and buy that next bag, and rapidly cut back to just one or two a day. Once i'm back to the point where there is no extreme urge to have one after every meal, every cup of coffee, every couple of hours, etc etc, i'm gonna dump the whole bag and call it quits again. The objective is to be off the stuff by this day next week, and I have absolutely no intention of failing...
 
In the past six years I've gone from 2 packs of American Spirits a day to 16miles of biking a day. It all came to a head when the condo I moved into had a really nice trail nearby (that was also lit up at night, so I got lucky). I made a pact that every time I wanted a cigarette I would bike as hard and fast as I could until I was craving oxygen more than carbon monoxide. It works. The only time I smoke now is when I'm really drunk at the bars. Even then I beat myself up for it the next day by biking all that much faster.


ALSO: As far as the coffee goes, I drink a triple shot of espresso every morning to get me going and rely on my exercise to give me energy throughout the day... the constant supply of stimulants will make it much harder to quit.
 
Just for another perspective, I've smoked for about the past 28 years, enjoy the hell out of it, and have no intention of quitting.
 
The longer you smoke, the harder it is to quit. The more your perspective will change.

The sooner you quit, the less you'll smoke. The longer you will live.
 
I think it's really more down to genetics and the chemicals big tobacco uses. I make my own with natural tobacco. Besides, the pot will cure any pesky cancer.
 
Bad^Hat said:
Wow, I never thought of it this way.
Click to expand...
I suppose you thought that smoking isn't a bad thing and that if someone is trying to quit you should encourage them to not worry about it and just smoke. Not only was I not saying that to you but that was clearly a response to the ignorance/ naivety from TechnoHippyChic. Yet you are clearly too inexperienced to understand addiction and how it can easily cloud your judgement. But I suppose your reason for sarcasm is "I was just being an asshole." By the way, go **** yourself.
 
Yeah I'm done with this forum. I feel like it could have been good.... There are just too many rude people who have no social awareness. A few of you might have been worth my time but the rest are what will cause this to dwindle till they leave and it dies. Good luck... Maybe Valve will become the new MS and a flood of people will join... Anyways, I'm sure you all know who I'm referring to when I say that I'm sorry for you.
 
US rude?! Don't let the doorknob hit you on the way out.

And NOBODY talks to my man Bad^Hat like that. Nobody.
1XTKNFp.gif
 
Rorschach120 said:
Yeah I'm done with this forum. I feel like it could have been good.... There are just too many rude people who have no social awareness. A few of you might have been worth my time but the rest are what will cause this to dwindle till they leave and it dies. Good luck... Maybe Valve will become the new MS and a flood of people will join... Anyways, I'm sure you all know who I'm referring to when I say that I'm sorry for you.
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I think you just have to be more willing to accept that people are going to take the piss, even if it isn't immediately obvious - it is the internet after all. Just take jokes on the chin and don't take things too seriously, remember this is a video game-centric forum.
 
Omnomnick said:
I think you just have to be more willing to accept that people are going to take the piss, even if it isn't immediately obvious - it is the internet after all. Just take jokes on the chin and don't take things too seriously, remember this is a video game-centric forum.
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I hear ya.... But when I pinpoint between 3 people who I know one of them is going to either try to tarnish what I say or bully me every time I post something. I've had enough. I love video games. I am no stranger to the internet but enough is enough. I don't treat people like this and I don't see why I need to be here if it is the way i am to be treated. All I tried to do was support someone who is going through something that I understand deeply. What did I get? The same petty sarcastic bullshit that I'm tired of seeing. If I was a moderator here I would have made it clear to certain people that this is a forum not a ****ing YouTube comment page. You can and should be held accountable for the things you say. I don't think the mods here really care though. So yeah can you go ahead and delete all my shit?

BTW sorry sinkoman for hijacking your thread I didn't mean for this to happen. Good luck man and stay strong. You can do anything that you have to... As long as you realize that you have to.
 
Rorschach120 said:
I hear ya.... But when I pinpoint between 3 people who I know one of them is going to either try to tarnish what I say or bully me every time I post something. I've had enough. I love video games. I am no stranger to the internet but enough is enough. I don't treat people like this and I don't see why I need to be here if it is the way i am to be treated. All I tried to do was support someone who is going through something that I understand deeply. What did I get? The same petty sarcastic bullshit that I'm tired of seeing. If I was a moderator here I would have made it clear to certain people that this is a forum not a ****ing YouTube comment page. You can and should be held accountable for the things you say. I don't think the mods here really care though. So yeah can you go ahead and delete all my shit?

BTW sorry sinkoman for hijacking your thread I didn't mean for this to happen. Good luck man and stay strong. You can do anything that you have to... As long as you realize that you have to.
Click to expand...
If you feel like someone has said something which has offended you, or that you feel is unreasonable, use the report function and the mods will evaluate it properly. Just be sure to explain why you reported that particular post, otherwise the mods will have nothing to go off.
 
Rorschach120 said:
Things
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As somebody who doesn't even bother to lurk these days, I wouldn't blame you at all for leaving. The forums do seem to have become far more cliquey since the days when I was a regular, but maybe that's just because I no longer have a foot in the clique. If anything though, you really can't take shit like that to heart. For one, like Omnomdick says, it's just the internet, and we all know that cynicism and wit are regarded as the unrecognized currency of the web (I totally stole that from someplace that I can't even remember). Also, for as long as I can remember, BadHat has always been somewhat of a smarmy sob, and i'm sure it ain't personal. Personally, it actually sounded like a somewhat sincere remark from where I stand, but who knows.

Thanks for the support though. I'm an avid cyclist myself (albeit of the BMX sort...), but it seems like BMX and cigarettes go so well together. Hanging out at the spot, smoking a cig, and shooting the shit with the homies while somebody else tries a trick, really is one of the nicer things in life. I rolled my ankle on Sunday though, so either way I can't really ride at all.

Good luck with your own vice. God knows i'll need whatever's left over for mine.
 
Badhat's post was meant to be funny, and now it's even funnier that it has prompted Rorschach to rage quit the forums.

Seriously, how is everyone misinterpreting his post so badly? He made the sentence he quoted sound like a really dumb obvious thing to say. That's it. It was a playful jab at worst. If he actually addressed some point in Ror's post, then it could have been interpreted as serious.
 
Jesus christ people have soft skin around here lately. Literally just taking a light-hearted jab at something that sounds a little dim out of context and you up and ragequit the forum. Talk about straw that broke the camel's back.

Oh but yeah but "you wouldn't act this way towards people in real life, you're just being a dick because internet anonymity." Uh, yeah I would, because the people I associate with in real life know how to take a ****ing joke. I know tone can be difficult to detect on the internet, and yeah I can be pretty snarky sometimes when I feel like it's warranted, but I generally try to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they have the humility to not freak out at the slightest provocation.

Man, **** these forums, I'm done, shit's dead, close it down, fail, gay, peace.
 
i'm with badhat rip in piece this planet is dead i'm going to harass steam chat now

tl;dr your all fat
 
Sorry for the shitty derail. Hope you manage to kick the habit if you want, sinko. Or not if you decide it's not really important. The vital thing is to try not to let yourself associate your habit with every other problem or inadequacy you're experiencing. That's a shitty cycle of thinking to get into which will only reinforce the habit and make you feel worse about it, which you can then only relieve by engaging in it because you start to feel powerless to break the cycle yourself. I'm not saying this to discourage you from quitting, just saying not to let it become too much of a negative force in your life whether you quit or not.

Anyway, this is probably pretty rote stuff as I've never had to deal with any bad physical addictions, only psychological vices that I let myself get out of hand.
 
If another thread like this happens where people pile onto and be a totally unprovoked asshole to someone there will be consequences.
 
Badhat made a joke and someone got the wrong idea.

It was a misunderstanding. Then a lot of people put in their two cents based on that misunderstanding. I came in and explained what Badhat's post was, which turned about to be completely accurate, because Badhat said the same thing.

Are you going to ban people for misunderstandings now? Yes, drama happens when there's a misunderstanding. It's unfortunate but it's a fact of life, and it's not preventable.
 
Vegeta897 said:
Badhat made a joke and someone got the wrong idea.

It was a misunderstanding. Then a lot of people put in their two cents based on that misunderstanding. I came in and explained what Badhat's post was, which turned about to be completely accurate, because Badhat said the same thing.

Are you going to ban people for misunderstandings now? Yes, drama happens when there's a misunderstanding. It's unfortunate but it's a fact of life, and it's not preventable.
Click to expand...

That isn't mainly why he got pissed off though. He even said he got annoyed because there are very few threads where it doesn't happen. Yeah it might apparently seem "hilarious" to keep acting like this to new people, but it creates a really bad atmosphere where visitors don't feel particularly welcome, and if they don't feel welcome - they don't stay around, which is the opposite of what we want.
 
The bad atmosphere may be driving them off, but I feel like it may have more to do with the fact that all there is to do here is post in the misc thread, or one of the other three active topics we have going.
 
Omnomnick said:
That isn't mainly why he got pissed off though. He even said he got annoyed because there are very few threads where it doesn't happen. Yeah it might apparently seem "hilarious" to keep acting like this to new people, but it creates a really bad atmosphere where visitors don't feel particularly welcome, and if they don't feel welcome - they don't stay around, which is the opposite of what we want.
Click to expand...
Sorry but, that's not what happened here. This had nothing to do with "new members" or whatever "acting like this" means. I don't even consider Ror a new member anymore, and I sure as hell know Badhat doesn't care in the slightest. I know what you're referring to when you talk of picking on new members, but that is not what happened here. Badhat makes posts like that all the time, to anyone.
 
But there was no "bad atmosphere" until he started calling people names and telling them to go **** themselves over an innocuous witty comment. I certainly lost my shit and could have handled the situation a little more gracefully, but everything's been getting on my last nerve lately and my patience for that kind of nonsense has grown thin. Before we could even reply to his little outburst, he ragequits like a petulant baby. No great loss, in my opinion.
 
If you people think that the attitude of the average poster's attitude of this forum is not actively driving people away then not really sure what to tell you.
 
JossiRossi said:
If you people think that the attitude of the average poster's attitude of this forum is not actively driving people away then not really sure what to tell you.
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Please read closer. This thread had nothing to do with what you're talking about. If you want to discuss that matter, we can do that somewhere else, or you can talk to me in Steam about it.
 
Vegeta897 said:
Please read closer. This thread had nothing to do with what you're talking about. If you want to discuss that matter, we can do that somewhere else, or you can talk to me in Steam about it.
Click to expand...

Corrected: If you people think that the attitude of the average poster's attitude of this forum is not actively driving people away then you are an idiot.
 
JossiRossi said:
If you people think that the attitude of the average poster's attitude of this forum is not actively driving people away then not really sure what to tell you.
Click to expand...
It must be cool to just be so damn right all the time that you don't even have to explain yourself. That's not obnoxious at all.
 
Do I REALLY have to explain that when you have a very insular group of people representing themselves as the community at a website, that when a new person comes in and finds them to be abrasive, and on occasion outright vitriolic that maybe, just maybe, that person won't want to stick around?
 
JossiRossi said:
Do I REALLY have to explain that when you have a very insular group of people representing themselves as the community at a website, that when a new person comes in and finds them to be abrasive, and on occasion outright vitriolic that maybe, just maybe, that person won't want to stick around?
Click to expand...
JOSSI
READ THIS VERY CAREFULLY
WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW DID NOT OCCUR IN THIS THREAD

We ****ing get that an elitist group of people picking on new members is not how one runs a friendly community. But that has nothing to do with what happened in this thread. Rorschash only interpretted it that way, because it was a MISUNDERSTANDING.

This is not debatable. Badhat (and I, as someone who knows him) would know better than you what his intentions were.
 
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