Scathing early review of new Indy movie (Spoilers)

99.vikram

99.vikram

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(MAJOR SPOILERS!!!)



Oh, why'd you do it, Lucas?

If this isn't a fake (likely), then it confirms the worst fanboy fears - horrible plot, cliched dialogue, no tension, bad CGI and awful acting.
The storyline is basically about an alien corpse from some crash in some town call Roswell, that has magnetic properties that may or may not be the ultimate weapon in the future. The Nazi's are replaced by the Soviets who are obviously bad and want said weapon to do bad things with. The alien corpse prize is replaced with the crystal skull from the corpse (the actual skeleton of aliens is crystaline, and the Crystal Skull is literally an alien's remains) and chases and such ensue as they try to figure out how to 'Return' the skull to the Lost City of Gold and let it's supernatural abilities run rampant.

...Well, everyone will be pleased to hear that LeBeef was horrible.
Noooo!
 
That sounds completely retarded!

I don't think I've ever read anything on AintItCool before so I'll take it with a grain of salt.
Possibly someone who wants to take a shit on the Indy fans?

This is ****ing Spielberg we're talking about, he wouldn't let anybody rape Indy.
 
I can already tell you the movie will be silly and receive mixed to low ratings. I have a feel about these things, and I'm almost always right on the money.

The movie looks really cheesy.
 
If they had managed to get Connery to reprise his role, it might've saved it, but have no hight hopes now that it's just Ford and that kid from Transformers.
 
I can say I'll be surprised if it is shit, considering I've never watched a bad Spielberg movie.
Although, Lucas did just finish with Star Wars and the only new one that was good was Episode 3.

This is my( and probably millions of others) most anticipated movie to come out in years, they can't just throw it to the wolves. :(
 
Just chucking it out there: Is it a prelude to The X-Files?
 
This is worrying, I must consult Empire.
Edit: I have done so. Apparently one of AICN's reviews was negative, the others were mixed positive. I'd take this with a grain of salt for now until more reviews come out.

Surprised he's seen it though, apparently Lucasfilm's own press officer wasn't meant to see it till the 19th.

xlucidx said:
I don't think I've ever read anything on AintItCool before so I'll take it with a grain of salt.
Possibly someone who wants to take a shit on the Indy fans?
Click to expand...

The AintItCool guy (Harry) is a big geek. He likes indiana.
Pretty famous site too btw.
 
If Temple of Doom came out nowadays it'd also get shitty reviews. I just saw it on TV for the first time in ages and it was pretty meh.
 
StardogChampion said:
If Temple of Doom came out nowadays it'd also get shitty reviews. I just saw it on TV for the first time in ages and it was pretty meh.
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Oh, me too. I watched it on Sunday - incredibly excited - and you know, it was a bit shit really.
 
Temple of doom did suck though. I'm still quite worried about this though and i'll need to hear more :|
 
The world screening is at Canne, so how in the hell is anybody able to review it yet? Seems like bullshit to me.
 
Temple of Doom was the worst of the lot. But it was still good in an incredibly cheesy manner.

And I'll worry more when more reviews come. Preferably not from AICL.
 
Bah, I don't even care... I'm seeing it anyways.
 
Samon said:
He really isn't the be all and end all.
Click to expand...

He's had his fair share of hits and misses, but overall I'd say he deserves the acclaim he's known for. Even his lesser movies are still enjoyable.
 
Turns out the woman from the first movie will return, that will be nice.
 
StardogChampion said:
It wasn't the worst movie ever, but had a lot of annoying cliches, especially the annoying woman who's scared of everything. Then she doesn't take the fact that they're about to get stabbed by spikes in the ceiling seriously etc etc. I think it would get nearer 50% nowadays.
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Yeah she was shit, but she was banging Spielberg (and eventually married him) so what can you do...

Personally I'd say the biggest problem the latest film has is it's been made about 15 years late. Ford really looks like battered shit these days, and personally that's not how Indy should be bowing out.
 
I'm going to venture a guess and say that the visual effects will not be shitty. They have ILM at the helm, and ILM is the best. Their effects may not fool you all the time, but they're ahead of everyone else and the first movie you see that tricks your eye completely will be worked on by ILM.
 
ILM did the shitty plastic looking effects of Star Wars Episode 1. Seriously, when I compared that to Jurassic Park, or Mighty Joe Young, it just looked cartoonish. They improved a bit by the last movie.
 
I thought the last movie was the worst offender.
 
Dan said:
ILM did the shitty plastic looking effects of Star Wars Episode 1. Seriously, when I compared that to Jurassic Park, or Mighty Joe Young, it just looked cartoonish. They improved a bit by the last movie.
Click to expand...

I think ILM have a very strange habit of pulling off some very classy stuff at times (so good you don't even realise it's CGI) but often their work is very 'plastic' as you so rightly point out.

They need to take a leave out of Wetas book and mix it up a bit. I don't think everything Weta did was perfect, but the amount they get away with that cuts the mustard is incredibly high.
 
I've decided this Indy will be brilliant. Just decided.

Specifically, the waterfall scene looks awesome.
 
I will watch it. I will probably like it. No amount of bad reviews is going to change that.
 
Yay for enthusiasm!
Critics won't even be allowed to trash this just because of the fact that it's INDY.

Also just seeing Harrison Ford don the hat and whip again along with his wisecracks is one of my reasons for seeing it.

I highly highly doubt Shia has hindered the film at all, he can't be as annoying as the girl from Temple of Doom.
 
ILM rock, they're done far more than just Lucasarts special effects.

Like, Transformers, Pirates of the Carribbean trilogy, War of the Worlds, Harry Potter movies, Iron Man, Hulk...
They do drop the ball sometimes (Star Wars prequels, Mummy Returns) but overall they're still one of the very best in the business.
 
I am still seeing it on midnight despite reading the comic early and finding out to my HUGE disappointment that:
Shia's character, Mutt, is in fact Indy's son. My God, if they make a spin-off with him as the new Indy Jones I think I may as well just die now.
 
VictimOfScience said:
I am still seeing it on midnight despite reading the comic early and finding out to my HUGE disappointment that:
Shia's character, Mutt, is in fact Indy's son. My God, if they make a spin-off with him as the new Indy Jones I think I may as well just die now.
Click to expand...

...Okay, my faith in the movie's been shaken a little bit.
Still seeing it though.
 
78% on Rotten Tomatoes after a large amount of reviews. Should be enjoyable.
 
Most of the reviews say that Shia is actually well-fit next to Ford, so I'm so nervous about him now.
The apparent bombardment of CGI effects is still a bit iffy to me, but I guess with Ford's age... it's probably necessary.

Can't. ****ing. wait.
2 DAYS! :D
 
I saw it.

It's not shit.

I would even go so far as to call it good.

This thread has now served its purpose. Gentlemen.
 
PvtRyan said:
You gave it a 10 in the movie thread D:
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With all due respect, PvtRyan, I was utilizing the fine art of the understatement. :cool: I was still a bit giddy when I issued that 10/10, having just returned from the film. Even after mulling it over though, I still think it is a damn spectacular film in my opinion. Perhaps 9/10 is more reasonable, but I am quite sincere when I say it is one of the best adventure films I have seen in some time.

My one complaint is when Indiana remarks to Mutt (Shiaf LeBeouaf)* that the legends about the Crystal Skull "are all just stories, kid". Perhaps back in RotLK, but by now, I don't think he'd still be saying that, what with all the face-melting, heart-ripping, and people turning to dust of the last three films.


*I apologize to this young man for butchering his name repeatedly.
 
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