silent
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yeah, I know you may say "title says it all" and such. That's okay, I'm bored and decided to write this and MAYBE you'll get a a laught out of it. I hope you do. Otherwise think less of me and don't enjoy. 
Oh and D33 two things: Please don't move and delete this thread and when I used your avatar in this story you may think I was somewhat making fun of you. In fact I wasn't. I think you and the mods do a good job, so make sure you know this!
-START-
Yes!! OMFG!!! That's right guys! I just read this from Reuters and OMFG!!! It's fecking crazy!!! I pasted the article here so you all could read it! OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!
Game Developer is Caught Red Handed
Alex Haas
In recently disturbing events the FBI says it has caught famed president of Valve Software, Gabe Newell, guilty of child pornography and database cracking.
Valve, a software company who developed halflife, a game that won 50 game of the year awards, recently reported a hacked database in which 1/3 of their source code was stolen from Gabe Newell's (company president) computer. Valve led a strong community led attack to find these hackers and bring them to justice.
Sadly, it all wasn't as simple as it seemed.
Just recently the FBI found out who the hacker was. The man was in fact Valve President Gabe Newell. Paul Eggman, detective in charge of this case was stunned. "Gabe was such a nice, cooperative, genuinely upset man. He baked cookies for me and my wife and they tasted good. How could somebody like him do something like this. There is no hope in the world" Eggman said during our interview.
We asked around Valve's main office and came upon a 5 year old with a popsicle in his mouth and asked him what he thought about the hideous allegations. "Vavlsorz suxorz" he said. "Meorz 1337orz andorz willorz killorz allorz freemanorz." We could not decipher his "giberish" but beleive he was saying, "I can't beleive this. How could this happen?" Even the common 5 year old is breathlessly in shock.
The FBI found Newell by tracing his IP logs stored on his computer. It seems Newell was attempting to crack into a child pornography site without having to pay the credit card membership. The IP he was hacking was 523.32.362.3658. What Newell didn't realize was that was in fact his own IP. After failing to hack it, he came in through what he thought was the webmaster's outlook account and installed keystroke loggers and an "I love you" virus for good measure. He hacked in after some time and copied what he thought were pictures of 2 year old girls masteurbating. "I'm so ashamed" Newell said. "And for the public, Alyx was my sex dream and will always be my true love." We are still trying to figure out who this "Alyx" person is.
We know that this will hit the halflife2 community especially hard. After a confusing attack of fake emails and stupid threads, many people don't see why life is worth anything anymore and many have committed suicide and some have even been banned from forums. D33 of halflife2.net was quoted as saying "****, flame, ****! I guess i'm gonna have to delete my popular website. Before I do I think I'll flame everyone on my forums and then ban them!!! Muwahahahahaha!" After seeing that he had the power to ban people we quickly escaped from his uber powers of the gods.
This is Alex Haas reporting on the worst thing since shit in a bucket. May god see us through these dark days and halflife2 be released before next year. Amen.
oh Jesus Christ....
Oh and D33 two things: Please don't move and delete this thread and when I used your avatar in this story you may think I was somewhat making fun of you. In fact I wasn't. I think you and the mods do a good job, so make sure you know this!
-START-
Yes!! OMFG!!! That's right guys! I just read this from Reuters and OMFG!!! It's fecking crazy!!! I pasted the article here so you all could read it! OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!
Game Developer is Caught Red Handed
Alex Haas
In recently disturbing events the FBI says it has caught famed president of Valve Software, Gabe Newell, guilty of child pornography and database cracking.
Valve, a software company who developed halflife, a game that won 50 game of the year awards, recently reported a hacked database in which 1/3 of their source code was stolen from Gabe Newell's (company president) computer. Valve led a strong community led attack to find these hackers and bring them to justice.
Sadly, it all wasn't as simple as it seemed.
Just recently the FBI found out who the hacker was. The man was in fact Valve President Gabe Newell. Paul Eggman, detective in charge of this case was stunned. "Gabe was such a nice, cooperative, genuinely upset man. He baked cookies for me and my wife and they tasted good. How could somebody like him do something like this. There is no hope in the world" Eggman said during our interview.
We asked around Valve's main office and came upon a 5 year old with a popsicle in his mouth and asked him what he thought about the hideous allegations. "Vavlsorz suxorz" he said. "Meorz 1337orz andorz willorz killorz allorz freemanorz." We could not decipher his "giberish" but beleive he was saying, "I can't beleive this. How could this happen?" Even the common 5 year old is breathlessly in shock.
The FBI found Newell by tracing his IP logs stored on his computer. It seems Newell was attempting to crack into a child pornography site without having to pay the credit card membership. The IP he was hacking was 523.32.362.3658. What Newell didn't realize was that was in fact his own IP. After failing to hack it, he came in through what he thought was the webmaster's outlook account and installed keystroke loggers and an "I love you" virus for good measure. He hacked in after some time and copied what he thought were pictures of 2 year old girls masteurbating. "I'm so ashamed" Newell said. "And for the public, Alyx was my sex dream and will always be my true love." We are still trying to figure out who this "Alyx" person is.
We know that this will hit the halflife2 community especially hard. After a confusing attack of fake emails and stupid threads, many people don't see why life is worth anything anymore and many have committed suicide and some have even been banned from forums. D33 of halflife2.net was quoted as saying "****, flame, ****! I guess i'm gonna have to delete my popular website. Before I do I think I'll flame everyone on my forums and then ban them!!! Muwahahahahaha!" After seeing that he had the power to ban people we quickly escaped from his uber powers of the gods.
This is Alex Haas reporting on the worst thing since shit in a bucket. May god see us through these dark days and halflife2 be released before next year. Amen.
oh Jesus Christ....
