Surely no one cares, but I'm depressed.

[Korgoth]

Well, sorry for making this, but I really don't know whats wrong with me anymore.

Yesterday, after I got off work, I grabbed me a bite to eat and checked over hl2.net as usuall. The daily show playing in the background, everything was as it should be.

About the time I went to lay down on the couch and get some sleep for work tonight is when it happened. I had went rinse out the sink, and my water wasn't working. It happens like that sometimes, we have well water, and sometimes the pump will go out, or the well may have dried up... I don't know really.

So I layed down thinking about how I couldn't take a shower or do anything. Today was the first day I had eaten in like three days. I rely on my friend to take me to work so I have to go by his schedule, meaning if I want to stay up later than usual, its just to bad because he may want to leave early.

I make a pretty minimum wage. $6.50 an hour, and I've been saving for months and months, ever since I got this job, so I could buy a car and get a little freedom. Well around the time I found my car I wished to buy, my job started lay offs. A bunch of people have got cut so far, and I'm affraid i'll be soon to follow. Needless to say I couldn't get my car.

My house has been trashed for the last two or three months, as me and my parents all work weird shifts, no one has felt like doing anything. I clean all the time, but I have to clean up after all of them, and my little step brother who doesnt have to do anything around here.

My parents owe me money, like $300, that I don't think I'll ever see again. I can't afford to spend any money because I have to keep saving for a car. My family always gets take out or something but never buys food, mainly because no one wants to do the dishes or actually cook, so If I get to eat three or four times during my 5 day work week I'm doing extremely well.

No matter how hard we work, doubles shifts, anything, it doesn't matter because we never get anywhere. I'm stuck here.

Well yesterday this all caught up with me for some reason. While I was laying on the couch trying to sleep the hours went by and I was just restless and couldn't get to sleep. Finally, like two hours before I had to get ready for work, no sleep at all, I just broke down. I started crying, and I cried for like two hours. I don't know why, and I couldn't stop.

Everything just came crashing down on me. I realized I couldn't even have drinking water, I couldn't shower before work, I didn't have any sleep, I had laundry to do but there was no water. I was still hungry, I just wanted to leave this place but I couldn't, I couldn't go anywhere.

I didn't go to work last night, so I'll probably get fired or something, I couldn't help that. I couldn't sleep, and was up all day crying. Had I went to work and fell asleep I would have gotten fired on the spot. I had some seriously disturbing things going through my head during all this... Thats passed, but it scared me.

No one here cares, they all saw what was going on, but they would rather watch TV, then talk to me and see whats wrong with me.

I'm sorry guys, I'll stop now. I guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to. But I'm sure you guys would rather do something more interesting.

 

[Foxtrot]

Well, sorry for making this, but I really don't know whats wrong with me anymore.

Yesterday, after I got off work, I grabbed me a bite to eat and checked over hl2.net as usuall. The daily show playing in the background, everything was as it should be.

About the time I went to lay down on the couch and get some sleep for work tonight is when it happened. I had went rinse out the sink, and my water wasn't working. It happens like that sometimes, we have well water, and sometimes the pump will go out, or the well may have dried up... I don't know really.

So I layed down thinking about how I couldn't take a shower or do anything. Today was the first day I had eaten in like three days. I rely on my friend to take me to work so I have to go by his schedule, meaning if I want to stay up later than usual, its just to bad because he may want to leave early.

I make a pretty minimum wage. $6.50 an hour, and I've been saving for months and months, ever since I got this job, so I could buy a car and get a little freedom. Well around the time I found my car I wished to buy, my job started lay offs. A bunch of people have got cut so far, and I'm affraid i'll be soon to follow. Needless to say I couldn't get my car.

My house has been trashed for the last two or three months, as me and my parents all work weird shifts, no one has felt like doing anything. I clean all the time, but I have to clean up after all of them, and my little step brother who doesnt have to do anything around here.

My parents owe me money, like $300, that I don't think I'll ever see again. I can't afford to spend any money because I have to keep saving for a car. My family always gets take out or something but never buys food, mainly because no one wants to do the dishes or actually cook, so If I get to eat three or four times during my 5 day work week I'm doing extremely well.

No matter how hard we work, doubles shifts, anything, it doesn't matter because we never get anywhere. I'm stuck here.

Well yesterday this all caught up with me for some reason. While I was laying on the couch trying to sleep the hours went by and I was just restless and couldn't get to sleep. Finally, like two hours before I had to get ready for work, no sleep at all, I just broke down. I started crying, and I cried for like two hours. I don't know why, and I couldn't stop.

Everything just came crashing down on me. I realized I couldn't even have drinking water, I couldn't shower before work, I didn't have any sleep, I had laundry to do but there was no water. I was still hungry, I just wanted to leave this place but I couldn't, I couldn't go anywhere.

I didn't go to work last night, so I'll probably get fired or something, I couldn't help that. I couldn't sleep, and was up all day crying. Had I went to work and fell asleep I would have gotten fired on the spot. I had some seriously disturbing things going through my head during all this... Thats passed, but it scared me.

No one here cares, they all saw what was going on, but they would rather watch TV, then talk to me and see whats wrong with me.

I'm sorry guys, I'll stop now. I guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to. But I'm sure you guys would rather do something more interesting.

You can get a lot of decent jobs that pay more than $10/h if you have graduated from high school...

 

[bliink]

I'm sorry guys, I'll stop now. I guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to. But I'm sure you guys would rather do something more interesting.

hey.. dont forget, the people here are human too... its not like noone cares about you..

 

[Neutrino]

You can get a lot of decent jobs that pay more than $10/h if you have graduated from high school...

First, that's not true depending on what region you live in. It's difficult to get a job where I'm from and your lucky to get something that pays over 7 dollars an hour.

Innervision, sorry to hear things are so rough at the moment. Definitley sounds like you're under a lot of stress so it's quite understandable. I can't really be of any help, other than to say hang in there and things will change eventually. But I can relate somewhat to what your going through so if you ever want to talk your always free to PM me.

Hope things get better soon.

 

[venturon]

Keep saving for that car buddy, you can do it. Hope things turn around for you.

 

[Korgoth]

I can't really get a better paying job. I live in the middle of nowhere and have no car. To get to a town where I can actually work Its a thirty minute drive at the speed limit (55). I have graduated high school, but you'd be suprised at how little that does for you around here. Where all there is is low paying factory jobs, fast food and farm work. No one really looks at education.

And thanks guys... I just feel so overwhelmed right now I don't know what to do.

 

[Bad^Hat]

I know the exact feeling you're getting at, only you seem to have real reason to be stressed/depressed, whereas I'm just a wimp

The only advice I can give you is to find some way to talk out your woes with someone you know and trust. Someone you can spill your heart to and not have to worry about repurcussions. Failing that, someone online, but talking to someone in person is far more relieving (in my experience). Even just writing things down can help. These are the things I neglected doing when I really needed to, and it's definitely caught up with me...

 

[Korgoth]

Actually, I'm starting to feel a bit better already. Thanks to you guys, and me just finally writing it all down and getting it off my chest. Thanks for reading and replying guys, and sorry to waste everyones time...

 

[Neutrino]

Actually, I'm starting to feel a bit better already. Thanks to you guys, and me just finally writing it all down and getting it off my chest. Thanks for reading and replying guys, and sorry to waste everyones time...

Glad to hear it and it's no waste of time at all. We all go through hard times.

 

[Bad^Hat]

Another suggestion: Get a blog, it seems to be the popular choice around here

 

[Korgoth]

i was seriously considering that blog idea, hmmm.... Still am I think, but who would read it?

 

[K e r b e r o s]

I dunno--who would?

 

[burnzie]

It doesnt matter who reads it, its more to do with venting, than anything else, but i'll read yours if you read mine

Link in sig...

 

[RoyaleWithCheese]

Wow, I'm a bit shocked and embarrassed to hear your story Innervision961. I guess we don't know half of the stories behind the people here.
It's really sad that each member of your family lives their own life, without minding each others business and problems. That's something fundamentally wrong in your home. Everyone has their breaking point and you reached it. It's good to let it all out, but don't let it prevent you from doing what you really want in your life.

So chin up, take a deep breath and move on. If you want more freedom then I think that saving for car is a good idea.

Hope you get to keep your job, or find a better one.

 

[wayne white]

hey dude this will make you feel better...you make 50 cents MORE than me!

 

[oldagerocker]

Get that car, get out the house, get a girlfriend, get a local bar, drink, eat good food, clean up the house, get promoted. you can do it One target at a time, do one thing each day to improove your life or enjoy the day, so clean a room one day or go out and pull another day.

 

[Korgoth]

Wow, thanks guys, your support, even though I don't know you all personally, really helps. And Burnzie, the feeling that everything you touch turns to shit, I know that one. I know exactly what you mean...

Its not that my family lives there own life, well sort of I guess. I'm kind of like the guy who sleeps on the couch here. Not really a member of the family anymore. It didn't used to be like this, but ever since my dad re-married, its kind of snowballed. I feel like they push me away, and I sometimes think I'd rather be away from them.

And oldagerocker, thanks for your words too, I've been working my ass off for about 7 months now, pinching every penny I can. My bank account is looking alright, but i'm at a point where its leveling off and not going much higher. If I had a wee bit more job security (i'm a temp, and all the layoffs lately have been temps) I wouldn't hesitate for one second to go out and get that car.

Thanks guys.

 

[h00dlum]

atleast you have a job. I got no money and nothing to do. Just sitting around home waiting for the weekend so i can party with my mates..not much of a life really i hope i get a job soon!

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Go and sprint around the block as fast as you can....


Really it makes you feel better. If you just run until you can run no more, you will feel better. Up until my tyre got ruined, I rode my bike any time I felt down, I'd just go and ride my bike for as long and hard as I could and when I got back I'd find that I was feeling really fired up - almost had that 'on top of the world' feeling. It was best at night before I went to bed, because I would sleep really well and wake up feeling great.

Oh yeah, and even if I "didn't feel like it" or felt too tired, I would still go out because I knew what I would feel like on my return. Doing things everyone else suggested is great, and they are right to say it but I really do encourage a little strenuous exercise every so often.


Anyway, if you're feeling better thats good to

 

[qckbeam]

Hey Innervision, sorry to post so late, but at least you're feeling better now Cheer up my friend (or keep cheering up anyways ), you're an intelligent guy, and you sound like a hard worker. No matter how bleak things may be looking now, I assure you they'll turn around. Things will get better

 

[Sui]

can i just say...

if ever i find myself in situation like that, i would pack lots of stuff, get loads of money and walk as far away as possible. i would try and have a goal- for instance, i live in brightion, right at the bottom of the UK. and i would try to walk / hitchhike / skip to scotland i would find that releiving, being completely free to go where i want, having no strain- no pressure... being able to view the beuty of the UK while im walking through it. i could stop at villages and towns... and i would make sure i walked through the heart of london and all the other big cities the ONE thing i would make sure i didnt pack would be a map lol i would have to pack a gameboy though, and i wouldnt go anywhere near woods incase i get lost (and that means being f/cking scared when night comes around). would anyone ense enjoy this?

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

As a matter of fact I would...but I face the dilemma of living near the relative middle of the UK. Which way to go :O

(No really, its something I've been waiting to do for years but I decided I would wait until I was old enough...which happens to be round about now actually)

 

[Sui]

As a matter of fact I would...but I face the dilemma of living near the relative middle of the UK. Which way to go :O

(No really, its something I've been waiting to do for years but I decided I would wait until I was old enough...which happens to be round about now actually)

w00t! go farrow! come down south and meet me, sulkdodds, munro and everyone else who lives down here lol

 

[Jakeic]

don't buy a car, that's not freedom, if anything, it'll give you less freedom.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

I know what you're saying about the car, but it is nice to have that option if you need it. Personally, I use my bike (no...not a motor bike) and if its too far for that then I use the train. There are times though, when I need a car for the simple fact it can take me anywhere any time.

w00t! go farrow! come down south and meet me, sulkdodds, munro and everyone else who lives down here lol

Heh...hold on there buddy. I doubt I could pull this off till the summer when I get a rather nice long break from Education. In fact my next few summers will consist of such like activites.

 

[Jakeic]

the thing with cars is that they are HUGE money sinks. Everything about a car costs money, and you can't just sell it for the same price unless you're lucky, because as soon as you buy it, it goes down in value.

think about it, gas, oil, brakes, tows, parking fines, transmission, engine, tires, and wind shields have all had to bought or been fixed on cars that i've driven and i'm 22 years old. it ends up costing A LOT more money than people think, and is generally the reason people get bad credit. I didn't even mention having to make payments on cars (not that you'd have to, but a lot of people do).

Cars are a very bad investment.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Yeah I know...in fact I also know that giving someone a car is generally not a good idea. They suck up your money and basically make you lazy. A lot of people I know at college who have cars, use them to travel distances I will gladly walk. For instance, I walk to college and thats about 3 miles, but they wouldn't even consider that. Then there are times when they will drive to a shop which may be less than a mile away.

 

[Mr.Reak]

Man, wish you good luck. Also, I recommend listening to uplifting music, getting something fun on your computer. It really helps a ton, something fan and upbeat will cheer you up, at least helps me. I seriously recommend you to download Frou Frou album, will feel your heart with happiness.

Reminds me of time I lived in Russia, when we didn’t have water sometimes for days or no lights, no money either. Good thing I was a kid and the best thing was to go out and play with friends. Maybe try to hang out with your friends more and use less of the computer. You don’t need to go and buy something, just sit in the middle of the nowhere and talk.

Hope life will change for the better for you, just work hard man and move forward, never regret anything about your life, you are doing what you can and that’s what counts.

 

[Nostradamus]

I would really try to help you and tell you that your famility really isn' trying to push you away, but that it's all in your head, but I'm afraid I don't know your situation or your family, so I'll just stick to what I can assure you.
Stay tough but dont always think what you are thinking this moment is what correct.. people have so many thoughts concerning the same subject, and they differe a lot depending on what time of day, that modd you are in etc.
So don't take it all too serious... liv eup a bit, and try to be more outgoing and you'll see that the world will eventually shine back at you.... Dont forget, wht doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Take care.

 

[Korgoth]

man... This place is great.
All of you guys are awesome. Even though its only a message board this place feels like a tight knit group of friends. I appreciate all the kind words and faith from you guys. Tonight i'm about to go to work and handle the damage control there. (don't know if i'll still be employed when I get home but... )

Anyway, its getting close to the holidays, and I think I, like many others, seem to get depressed easily this time of year. Even though its supposed to be a happy go lucky time of year, all your financial problesm come to light, and you just feel like your stuck.

Its getting better though, thanks so much guys. Its hard to say really how much your replies mean to me, but you guys have helped me a lot. I owe you all... I only hope that when the games been out for a while and things calm down some, we can all still hang out here. Kinda my home away from home (while i'm at home )

 

[seinfeldrules]

You should look to put that money into a college education if you could somehow afford it.

 

[Korgoth]

You should look to put that money into a college education if you could somehow afford it.

That is one of my goals...
At my job, I work there through a temp service, If I can manage to stay for a year and there is an open spot I should get hired full time. In that case, they will help pay for college. I just have my fingers crossed now, as its not looking so likely that i'll get full time.

 

[Vigilante]

That is one of my goals...
At my job, I work there through a temp service, If I can manage to stay for a year and there is an open spot I should get hired full time. In that case, they will help pay for college. I just have my fingers crossed now, as its not looking so likely that i'll get full time.

If youre comfortable *maybe* going to Iraq, you should join up in the military and get them to pay for college, it will without a doubt pay off in the long run.

Anyway, sorry to hear about your troubles. My parents are divorced, and things are weird sometimes (when the 2 sides of the family meet, at like my brothers band concerts is awkward). But tell your dad how you feel that he's pushed you out. Kids should be any parenst #1 priority.

Things have a way of working themselves out, just stick it out and it'll get better. Hang in there

 

[Korgoth]

If youre comfortabl *maybe* going to Iraq, you should join up in the military and get them to pay for college, it will without a doubt pay off in the long run.

I couldn't join the military, based on my personal religous beliefs. That, and if you follow my posts on here much, you'd know I don't exactly agree with whats going on over there
:E

 

[Anthraxxx]

If you're gonna go to college, where do you think you might want to go?

 

[Vigilante]

I couldn't join the military, based on my personal religous beliefs. That, and if you follow my posts on here much, you'd know I don't exactly agree with whats going on over there
:E

Maybe if Kerry's elected ? Heh..anyway, you should find some way into college...it'll help a WHOLE lot.

Apply for scholarships, grants, any kind of financial aid. :afro:

 

[Korgoth]

If you're gonna go to college, where do you think you might want to go?

Probably tech or community college around my area. I'd love to go to a fully acredited (sp?) school, but I just don't have that kind of money.

You live in KY right? Well do you know of any really good schools around?

I'm really interested in art and design. Ultimately, like many here i'm sure, I'd love to work on video games or something in the entertainment feild. But I'm also open to CAD and engineering.

and vigilante, heh, not even if kerry was president would I agree with it. Nor could he convince me to join up. I have my own beliefs about war, and fighting, and I just don't agree with it.

 

[seinfeldrules]

I know you arent too keen on the military action, but how about 4 years in the Navy or Air Force? They arent directly involved in the fighting, I just dont know where you draw your limits. It really would be a perfect scenario for someone in your shoes, help you get a jumpstart on life.

 

[Vigilante]

and vigilante, heh, not even if kerry was president would I agree with it. Nor could he convince me to join up. I have my own beliefs about war, and fighting, and I just don't agree with it.

oh
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