The Afterlife!

Eejit

Eejit

The Freeman
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Hey guys. We know there are a whole bunch of imaginary afterlives.

Which are you favourites and least favourite?
Cylon Resurrection? Sixth Sense haunting? Bill & Ted's heaven (most excellent!)? Stargate's ascension?

Personally I have a soft spot for Sweet's (the dancing demon from Once More With Feeling) Hell. An afterlife full of singing and dancing. Groovey.

Bleach's 'Soul Society' looked pretty shit from what I remember. Basically a feudal society where you'll probably end up as a penniless peasant.


P.S. You can leave out religion ones, they're boring, lol.
 
least favourite would be christian concept of heaven ...it's full of people like Ned Flanders and Mister Rogers (although he was gay so maybe not). and there's no sex because sex is only for procreation and since no one is born in heaven ..also no booze, drugs, porn, video games except Left Behind (shoot me now) no goddam thanks ..if there is a heaven and I get sent up their I'm kicking jesus in the nutsack so I get sent down there ..at least the burning will be a relief over the constant kumbayas coming out of the celestial loudspeakers


most awesome would be Norse mythology and valhalla ..eat, drink aall day boasting of my adventures while blond blue eyed warrior women attend to my every need? what's not to like?
 
Hey, ain't that religion No Limit? :arms:
Anyway I think you have to asplode urself for that wun, lul!
 
The new one I invented with a large room with glass walls. All around the observation room is several million dancing Stalins from that RTS trailer.

Needs a comfy chair too.
 
No Limit said:
The 72 virgins one...DUH!
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you see the thing is, you can have 72 virgins in real life but you'd probably get AIDS or some bad publicity. trust me one is enough, i'd rather have something that doesn't bleed or scream.
 
How about least favourite then Nicky?

Stern: that would be fine, but wouldn't you feel out of place among all those Aryans? They're probably facists you know :P


Warped: how many virgins have AIDS?
 
No Limit said:
The 72 virgins one...DUH!
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dude, people in that part of the world get married when they're 14 ..virgins are probably hard to find >12 years of age ...not too mention that the tents they wear means they most likely have no need for shaving of feminine parts because it's not visible to anyone except their husband/rapist

O_O
 
I'm all about reconstructing my intrinsic field.
 
I never really considered that an afterlife ZT, but whatever floats your ship.
 
Eejit said:
How about least favourite then Nicky?

Stern: that would be fine, but wouldn't you feel out of place among all those Aryans? They're probably facists you know :P


Warped: how many virgins have AIDS?
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I can learn to goosestep

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..plus they have awesome uniforms
 
Well if you're gonna goosestep why not join me in Sweet's Dancing Hell? We can tango through the night and make sweet love by the molten pool of lava-side.
 
Eejit said:
Well if you're gonna goosestep why not join me in Sweet's Dancing Hell? We can tango through the night and make sweet love by the molten pool of lava-side.
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I'm totally down for the prancing but not really sure about the mincing


hell slap on a uniform and you'll be surprised at what I can be coherced/paid to do
 
I don't believe in any kind of afterlife, but if I had to choose one story, it would probably be the one where you get to score with 72 virgins, providing that they're women. :l
 
X Hokey Pokey X said:
I don't believe in any kind of afterlife, but if I had to choose one story, it would probably be the one where you get to score with 72 virgins, providing that they're women. :l
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Really? You don't even believe in Cylon Resurrection? But we've clearly seen that happen dude. What's wrong with you?
 
i believe nonphysical existance is far too complex and nonlinear to describe, let alone understand in human terms - but i imagine it to be an extradimensional journey of some sort
 
X Hokey Pokey X said:
Nevermind. Also, I've never even heard of Cylon Ressurection. Because I'm not into religion I don't even read up on stuff like this. Please enlighten me.
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Well basically as long as the Resurrection Hub is intact and a Resurrection Ship is within range any human-form Cylon will be resurrected into a new body. The same appears to happen with Cylon Raiders, though not with Centurions or Hybrids as far as I can tell.
 
Favorite: Going to heaven.

Least favorite: We return to the "state" before we were born. Too boring.



I think it would be awesome to be able to see how we came to be, or for that matter how everything came to be, and also be able to watch other civilizations. Would be nice to watch it in an imax movie theater.

/inb4flame.
 
Which heaven? There's so many versions. The one from Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey?
 
Eejit said:
Well basically as long as the Resurrection Hub is intact and a Resurrection Ship is within range any human-form Cylon will be resurrected into a new body. The same appears to happen with Cylon Raiders, though not with Centurions or Hybrids as far as I can tell.
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:l You smokin' dope boy? Would be nice though. I would require the new body to be of equal or higher attractiveness. Anything lower wouldn't be tolerated and I would probably go crazy.
 
Escape said:
Favorite: Going to heaven.
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kumbaya my lord, kumbaya, oh loooord kumbaya ..EVERYBODY! Someone's singing Lord, kumbaya! .... for all freakin eternity ...also lots and lots of prayer and kneeling and ..

Escape said:
Least favorite: We return to the "state" before we were born. Too boring.
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in the celestial waiting room? I thought souls were created the moment life was created ...you're not suggesting reincarnation are you heathen?
 
The new body should be pretty much identical Hokey. Maybe slightly less aged depending how long you were in the old one. I think 'the final Cylon' got a bit younger.


Nobody else has picked an Awesome Hell yet? :/
How about South Park's hell? It looks like a laugh.
 
I would do anything satan asked as long as he wouldn't burn me. No joke. That place is more my style anyways. Doing whatever.
 
I'm going straight for the High School womens locker roo-

WHAT THE HELL, THEY SWITCHED IT AROUND?! NOOOOOOOOO
 
Eternal service to the blood god. Slaanesh would be a possiblility with the six titted chicks and whatnot but I'm with Khorne on this one.
 
CptStern said:
kumbaya my lord, kumbaya, oh loooord kumbaya ..EVERYBODY! Someone's singing Lord, kumbaya! .... for all freakin eternity ...also lots and lots of prayer and kneeling and ..
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Um, ok...?



in the celestial waiting room? I thought souls were created the moment life was created ...you're not suggesting reincarnation are you heathen?
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I have seen some people here bring up the idea that after death there is nothing. Much like you can't remember anything before you were born, you won't be able to sense anything after you die.

So no, I am not suggesting reincarnation.
 
Eternal repeat of the song Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits.

Oh, and a nice girl to accompany me.

I'm way too romantic.
 
X Hokey Pokey X said:
I would do anything satan asked as long as he wouldn't burn me. No joke. That place is more my style anyways. Doing whatever.
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And surfing /b/ all day amirite?
Anyways reincarnation..maybe..but not really, I figure when you die..you're just dust in the wind, man.
 
The one where I get folded into the Malkavian Madness Network.
 
CptStern said:
least favourite would be christian concept of heaven ...it's full of people like Ned Flanders and Mister Rogers (although he was gay so maybe not). and there's no sex because sex is only for procreation and since no one is born in heaven ..also no booze, drugs, porn, video games except Left Behind (shoot me now) no goddam thanks ..if there is a heaven and I get sent up their I'm kicking jesus in the nutsack so I get sent down there ..at least the burning will be a relief over the constant kumbayas coming out of the celestial loudspeakers


most awesome would be Norse mythology and valhalla ..eat, drink aall day boasting of my adventures while blond blue eyed warrior women attend to my every need? what's not to like?
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Yeah we are pretty much one mind here.
I don't know if I find christian concept of heaven to be the worst, even if it sounds pretty boring. Whatever Cthulhu might be planing seems bad.
 
Afterlife:

Worms eat your decomposing body, fish eat worms, larger fish eat smaller fish,
humans eat larger fish, humans are then eaten by Cloverfield creatures.
 
In my afterlife I'm the sun... biding my time, staring menacingly at the earth until one day I say, "**** it, I'm out of here" and turn off the lights.
 
I feel bad reading this thread after the Bvgasm thread. I feel really bad. I'm seriously not joking here.
 
I made up my own. Humans suffer brain damage after the brain is deprived of oxygen. This means when a malevolent God resurrects everyone after the end of the world, everyone is completely bat**** insane. A twisted parody of human civilisation commences, in which semi-feral humans ravage and rape each other, enacting, without any such weaknesses as regret, a joyously violent and powerfully vital burlesque of their own species.
 
My idea of the afterlife or lack thereof is something like the ending of the movie The Fountain.

Mech Man said:
Eternal service to the blood god. Slaanesh would be a possiblility with the six titted chicks and whatnot but I'm with Khorne on this one.
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SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
 
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