the cookie cutter anomaly theory

[crabonhead]

well, now that my title has gained your attention, here is my theory on the story of HL2:
the g-man works under a power much higher than the combine, lets call them the q-zork superspecies for now. they are a caste of aliens intent on filtering out the weak and useless humans to end up with only the finest. the combine is just a slave race- if even a race. them being androids isn't be ruled out yet. anyway, when they have only the finest humans- that is to say, the most resourceful, the smartest and the strongest, they will run tests on them because thay wish to control an entity known as god. they have figured out that god can only be located by fully understanding human nature(for some odd reason). a being more powerful than the q-zork superspecies either needs to be destroyed or controlled, just like the q-zork superspecies controlled Nihilanth back on xen. yes, it turns out god is just another giant alien baby. so anyways, the only goal of the q-zork superspecies is to become unlimitedly powerful and have no opposition. so essentially, gordon freeman is only joining a team of specialized guinea pigs in order to be tested upon to help the q-zork superspecies find god in their megalomaniac plot to dominate all life.
just something i crapped into my cereal, thought i might share it.

 

[Brian Damage]

Reminds me of the plot of Dark City... a bunch of aliens want to have souls, so they kidnap a bunch of humans and try to figure out why humans have them...

I think that was the plot, anyway. Ages since I've seen it...

 

[DEATH eVADER]

Reminds me of the plot of Dark City... a bunch of aliens want to have souls, so they kidnap a bunch of humans and try to figure out why humans have them...

I think that was the plot, anyway. Ages since I've seen it...

Freaky Kid in top-hat, brandishing a knife. Freaky Sh*t

 

[Spartan]

well, now that my title has gained your attention, here is my theory on the story of HL2:
the g-man works under a power much higher than the combine, lets call them the q-zork superspecies for now. they are a caste of aliens intent on filtering out the weak and useless humans to end up with only the finest. the combine is just a slave race- if even a race. them being androids isn't be ruled out yet. anyway, when they have only the finest humans- that is to say, the most resourceful, the smartest and the strongest, they will run tests on them because thay wish to control an entity known as god. they have figured out that god can only be located by fully understanding human nature(for some odd reason). a being more powerful than the q-zork superspecies either needs to be destroyed or controlled, just like the q-zork superspecies controlled Nihilanth back on xen. yes, it turns out god is just another giant alien baby. so anyways, the only goal of the q-zork superspecies is to become unlimitedly powerful and have no opposition. so essentially, gordon freeman is only joining a team of specialized guinea pigs in order to be tested upon to help the q-zork superspecies find god in their megalomaniac plot to dominate all life.
just something i crapped into my cereal, thought i might share it.

That's really good. Here's my theory:

Gordon is a transvestite from the future, and his mission is to infiltrate a Starbucks cafe near Black Mesa (the cafe is hidden by a cloaking device which was manufactured by Nokia in the future of the past present). The G-man is an employee of Nintendo and tries to stop Gordon by trying to complete Metroid Prime using only his left index finger. Meanwhile, Adrian is trying to save the universe from mushrooms by shooting aliens.

I think my theory makes about as much sense as yours.