TheNerdNews: Woman married to Bigfoot

thenerdguy

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Woman tells her story of being married to Bigfoot

A fantastic love story has been recently unveiled in St.Petersburg. Psychiatrist Nikolai Boyarchuk said that he had copied the text of the story from the file of a female patient. The doctor said that the story that happened to Oksana Terletskaya was absolutely real. He added that it would not be immoral to write about it in press, because the woman either died or she would never return to live with humans again.

The 19-year-old girl was "married" to the Bigfoot for almost a year. The girl lost her way in the woods one day, after she had been hurt by her boyfriend. She went to wander in the woods just because she could stay there alone with her feelings. Oksana completely ignored the fact that she had lost her way home. She sat down underneath a tree and cried, trying to get over the pain in her heart. She realized that she had gone astray when it was too late. She came across raspberry bushes and decided to eat some berries before she could start looking for a path home. When she was picking raspberries, she heard a strange noise nearby, as if someone was champing. When the girl moved the branches aside, she saw a big hairy creature that looked like an orang-outang. The girl screamed and lost her conscience. "I came to my senses in a cave. I could hear a stream nearby and there were rays of light coming down on me from a hole in the ceiling. Tang - that's how I called the creature afterwards - was sitting opposite me. He was baring his teeth, as if he was infuriated. I realized later that it was just his smile. The hairy animal came up to me and started sniffing my clothes. Then he roared and tore my clothes to pieces. My heart was about to explode with horror, but he continued sniffing me until his nose stopped near my groin. He roared again and threw himself over me."

When Oksana woke up the next morning, she realized that she had become the prisoner and the wife of the hairy creature. When Tang was going out, he would cover the entrance to the cave with a big boulder, leaving was no way for the girl to escape. Tang would always bring something to eat - berries, nuts, mushrooms, eggs or raw meat. The terrible sex with the animal became a daily torture for Oksana.

There was a spring in a corner of the cave - the water was running somewhere outside the cave. Tang strongly refused to let the girl out. The 'beauty and the beast' started developing a relationship. Tang showed interest in the girl's CD player. Oksana had only one CD with her - best hits of the band Kino. When the girl carefully showed the monster how to listen to the music in the headphones, the Bigfoot was horrified. He got used to the music later, though, and even liked one of the songs on the CD. Tang was very upset, when the music stopped playing because of low batteries. He would spend hours shaking the device in his hands. "I took the batteries out and gestured him that it would not work without them. The next morning Tang took one battery and left. When he returned to the cave in the evening, he brought a pack of batteries with him." Yeti undoubtedly broke into a little shop somewhere in the town. Oksana concluded that the cave, in which she was staying, was not too far from a settlement, where people lived.

Yeti's prisoner could not see how days turned into nights, and how summer turned into autumn. When Tang started stocking food for winter, Oksana figured that it was already autumn outside. She tried to explain to the beast that she was cold. Tang listened to his "wife" and left. The hairy monster turned out to be rather bright than Oksana thought he would be: in the evening Tang brought a warm padded jacket and pants. It became known afterwards that the girl's story coincided with the story of a tractor driver, who said that a monster attacked him in the beginning of October, shook him out of his clothes and disappeared. Oksana was happy to find a lighter in a pocket of the jacket.

"I picked some dry branches and leaves from the ground and decided to make a fire. When he saw the fire, he became very excited. It seemed to me that anger and horror was tearing him apart from inside. He became very quiet: he sat down in a corner and did not make a sound. I felt sorry for him. I managed to overcome my own fear, though. I came up to Tang and stroke him on the head. He put his big arm around me and whined. A week later he was happy to join me near the fire. We started frying chestnuts and meat. Tang was thrilled, when he tasted fried meat. I also hoped that hunters would notice the smoke coming from the hole in the ceiling of the cave, but people did not find Tang's shelter. I caught cold in the beginning of winter. Tang understood that I was ill and he tried to feed me with some roots and plants. He would hug me tight at night to make me warmer."

Oksana managed to escape from her prison only in spring. Her relationship with Yeti had become almost perfect by that time. Tang would take her out in the mornings to see the sunshine, but he would never leave the girl alone. One day he sensed something dangerous in the air. Before leaving, he covered the entrance to the cave with the boulder as usual, but did not notice a small gap that the boulder left. It took the girl great efforts to sneak outside, but when he finally succeeded to get out of the cave, she started running without making a stop. When she saw people in the woods, she realized that she was finally free.

"Her parents took Oksana to our hospital, - Dr. Boyarchuk said. - The girl was mentally incompetent; all I could hear from her was that she had been married to a Bigfoot for a year. She never managed to get used to home conditions. She was afraid of going out even during the day, she was terribly afraid of the dark. In addition, Oksana could not eat normal food," the doctor said.

The girl recovered a little at a mental hospital. She told her story to her doctor and he put everything down in Oksana's file, having considered it the description of the patient's delirium. When the girl realized that nobody believed her story, she gave way to despair. She did not show any reaction to her parents, when they visited her, she did not want to eat or drink. One day Oksana started recovering very fast. She started eating, talking and even laughing. When doctors told her that she was getting better, Oksana laughed and said that she had never been sick. She added that "he" knew where she was and that "he" would come to rescue her. Doctors considered such behavior the new stage of Oksana's illness and decided to isolate her in a special room. However, the girl disappeared from her ward at night in the middle of November. Someone very strong pulled steel bars out of the brick wall. Oksana's ward mates all said that a huge hairy monster had kidnapped the girl. Cynologists never managed to trace the Bigfoot because of the heavy snowfall.

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Laughing Bank Clerk Humiliates Robber

AGREB (Reuters) - A Croatian armed robber abandoned a bank hold up after the cashier laughed at his order to stick 'em up, state news agency Hina reported on Thursday.



The masked robber entered a bank at Zagreb's main square in plain daylight and threatened the clerk with his gun.

"Knowing she was behind a bulletproof glass, the clerk laughed heartily, rang her boss to say she was being robbed and asked him to call the police," Zagreb police spokeswoman Gordana Vulama told the agency.

The humiliated robber turned and took to his heels, she added.

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Using Sirens to Pick Up Sirens?

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Nineteen firefighters in Sacramento, California have been disciplined for using city fire engines to meet women, including at a local event in which people dressed as porn stars, an official said on Wednesday.

Six firefighters have been fired and 13 others have been suspended or reprimanded following the largest internal probe ever by the Sacramento Fire Department, said Captain Niko King, the department's spokesman.

The misconduct investigation began in early July after reports of firefighters using city vehicles to cruise bars in the often sleepy state capital.

Later six firefighters were caught taking three city vehicles to a "Porn Star Costume Ball."

A woman at the event accused one of the firefighters of sexual assault aboard a fire engine. Prosecutors dropped the charges after determining the sexual encounter was consensual, King said.

"It's an inappropriate use of city equipment, obviously," King said.

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Greek Village Eyes Ukrainian Brides

By Karolos Grohmann

ZACHARO, Greece (Reuters) - Lonely Greek bachelors desperate for wives after the local women left for the big city have decided instead to import dozens of Ukrainian brides.

In a few days a group of officials and 10 future grooms from the seaside town of Zacharo will leave on a matchmaking trip to Vynnitsya, in Ukraine.

The plan is to bring back women looking for a spouse to their peaceful and wealthy farming community and breathe new life into the town of about 4,000.
Dubbed by Greek newspapers as a "Love Bus" trip -- even though the only bus ride will be to Athens airport -- the group will be just the forerunner of other matchmaking visits.

"I found this town in Ukraine and we will go there to meet the prospective brides," mayor Panatazis Chronopoulos, a former police officer, told Reuters Friday.

"But we will not be fooled and just take anyone. We will take their CVs, meet them, and then we will decide."

Another 180 men from Zacharo have also put their names down for a bride. Even more are expected to follow.

Hundreds of young Greek women, scoffing at the idea of farm life, have abandoned this southwestern Greek seaside town for the excitement of Athens, leaving behind lonely men with almost no prospect of marriage or family.

Of a total male population of a few thousand, more than 500 aged between 18-45 are still single, town officials said.

"Everyone is leaving for what they think is the exciting city life," the mayor said. "They have not realized they will fall on hard times in Athens, ending up looking for a job."

Zacharo, located on one of Greece's finest sandy beaches, has no such worries. With thousands of acres of fertile land, some of the best olive oil in Greece and a thriving greenhouse business, it has hardly any unemployment.

"There are lots of jobs that are needed here like builders, plumbers, doctors, and people could earn a good living. But young people, mainly girls, still leave," the mayor said.

ALL MALE

The town's only female councilor, who did not want to be named, said there were not even enough women candidates to run for the local council to meet the required state quotas.

"The girls and women are all leaving, unwilling to take over the family business," she said at her seaside cafe. "The girls who work in my cafe are not even from Zacharo because none of the girls from here want to work as waitresses."

Along the wide beachfront, a handful of young men ride their bicycles past other males, while in the town's cafes and restaurants, men of all ages gather to play cards or eat. Women under the age of 40 are a rare sight.

"What is there to do?" a young customer said. "I am 23 and if you look around there are no women here. I hope the mayor and the others come back with the Ukrainians and make things more exciting here."

Town official Giorgos Athanassoulis dismisses fears the foreign women could alter the town's character.

"This Greek-Ukrainian combination works. We have already eight who have married Ukrainian women and they have made good families," he said.

"In one case both sons married a Ukrainian and then the father also went ahead and married one."

Mayor Chronopoulos, who says he is flooded by calls from other Greek mayors eager to do the same, said the response for grooms has so far been massive in Vynnitsya with 400 women signing up.

"Now other Greek towns want to know how we set it up because they are also without brides."

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Well they arnt as good as I usally post but they will do.
 
what do you mean not as good as norma? Thats quality news :D
 
the bigfoot story was pretty intresting..probably bs tho :)
 
Soooo much BS, but interesting to read nonetheless. She had to get back to her monkeyman! Only he could please her the way she wanted.

:LOL:
 
Sprafa said:
Thenerdguy is back!

How's the marriage ?

Wait...you don't think...

:O


This woman is thenerdguy's! That can only mean that...thenerdguy is bigfoot! Scandal!
 
darn you blew my cover Farrow.

im kinda back. 60 Hour weeks and and spending time with Amy pretty much all that I do. (No we are not married yet.)

I dont know, usally when I make a news thread its more funny. :) Although this one is odd enough.
 
Bigfoot is a big man in a big suit. C'mon...

its like the loch ness monster in Scotland, it isn't true, it just being people back to visit.
 
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