Y
Yorick
Guest
Or: "Do you know who I am?!"
So, let me start by saying that I don't drive. I have bad muscles in my eyes, and it's not to say that I legally can't drive, but I don't feel very comfortable doing so and would prefer not to, you know, kill someone. As such, I've always had a State ID, rather than a Driver's License.
The way this works - for those of you not in the US - is this. If you have a Driver's License, you're all set. For everything. Now. If you have a State ID like I do, you will occasionally have a problem in some bars and liquor stores, where they claim it's not a valid ID.
This has been more of a problem since I shaved my beard.
The solution that they present to you is to get a Liquor License, in addition to your State ID. And as I understand it, having a Liquor License actually makes it illegal for you to drive. From my understanding, if you have a Liquor License you cannot have a Permit to drive a car.
So, I have a State ID and a Learner's Permit. I know how to operate a car, but I've never taken the road test to get a full license. With me so far? Here's where things get convoluted.
My State ID expired in June of last year. I've had it since before I was 21 (I'm 23 now), and it has really become necessary for me to get a new one, because I want to get a Passport, since I'm planning on invading London sometime soon.
I should note here that the DMV will not let me use my expired ID for anything - even though it is a perfectly good ID with my date of birth, picture, signature, and address - simply because it is expired.
So this morning I'm getting things together so I can get my new State ID tomorrow. The requirements are: Birth Certificate, Social Security Card, Proof of Address, Proof of Signature.
Annnd I can't find my Social Security Card. Because, really, I never use it. I have the number memorised, and really, the only times I've ever actually needed the card itself was for getting a State ID, or for the two times I went to Canada before 9/11, when you could get in with just the Social Security Card and a Birth Certificate. That's it. It has no purpose aside from that.
I check both my wallets, I check my collection of important documents, where my Birth Certificate was. I check my unimportant documents (guitar tabs, college stuff). I even checked the pockets of old jackets. Nothing.
So, I'm thinking, okay, I can just get a new one of those. But. You can't get a new Social Security Card without a valid Picture ID. This puts me in the very awkward position of, "I can't get a new State ID without my Social Security Card, and I can't get a new Social Security Card without my State ID".
My aunt points out that you can renew your State ID online - but because I was under 21 when the picture was taken, they won't let me do that either.
So I asked my father what he thought the best course of action was, and his response was quite helpful: "You're ****ed, they're gonna think you're a terrorist".
I went and looked up the requirements for a Passport, and found that that too takes a Birth Certificate and Picture ID. Of course. But. You can wave the Picture ID if you have a character witness and so many other things (Social Security Card, Work ID, Library Card, Credit Card).
My plan as of now is to take my Expired ID, Work ID, Credit Cards, Library Card Tax Forms, College Transcripts, Birth Certificate, and Father to the Post Office to try and get a damn Passport, and then backtrack to a Social Security Card and State ID from there. Total overkill.
TL;DR - America is stupid.
So, let me start by saying that I don't drive. I have bad muscles in my eyes, and it's not to say that I legally can't drive, but I don't feel very comfortable doing so and would prefer not to, you know, kill someone. As such, I've always had a State ID, rather than a Driver's License.
The way this works - for those of you not in the US - is this. If you have a Driver's License, you're all set. For everything. Now. If you have a State ID like I do, you will occasionally have a problem in some bars and liquor stores, where they claim it's not a valid ID.
This has been more of a problem since I shaved my beard.
The solution that they present to you is to get a Liquor License, in addition to your State ID. And as I understand it, having a Liquor License actually makes it illegal for you to drive. From my understanding, if you have a Liquor License you cannot have a Permit to drive a car.
So, I have a State ID and a Learner's Permit. I know how to operate a car, but I've never taken the road test to get a full license. With me so far? Here's where things get convoluted.
My State ID expired in June of last year. I've had it since before I was 21 (I'm 23 now), and it has really become necessary for me to get a new one, because I want to get a Passport, since I'm planning on invading London sometime soon.
I should note here that the DMV will not let me use my expired ID for anything - even though it is a perfectly good ID with my date of birth, picture, signature, and address - simply because it is expired.
So this morning I'm getting things together so I can get my new State ID tomorrow. The requirements are: Birth Certificate, Social Security Card, Proof of Address, Proof of Signature.
Annnd I can't find my Social Security Card. Because, really, I never use it. I have the number memorised, and really, the only times I've ever actually needed the card itself was for getting a State ID, or for the two times I went to Canada before 9/11, when you could get in with just the Social Security Card and a Birth Certificate. That's it. It has no purpose aside from that.
I check both my wallets, I check my collection of important documents, where my Birth Certificate was. I check my unimportant documents (guitar tabs, college stuff). I even checked the pockets of old jackets. Nothing.
So, I'm thinking, okay, I can just get a new one of those. But. You can't get a new Social Security Card without a valid Picture ID. This puts me in the very awkward position of, "I can't get a new State ID without my Social Security Card, and I can't get a new Social Security Card without my State ID".
My aunt points out that you can renew your State ID online - but because I was under 21 when the picture was taken, they won't let me do that either.
So I asked my father what he thought the best course of action was, and his response was quite helpful: "You're ****ed, they're gonna think you're a terrorist".
I went and looked up the requirements for a Passport, and found that that too takes a Birth Certificate and Picture ID. Of course. But. You can wave the Picture ID if you have a character witness and so many other things (Social Security Card, Work ID, Library Card, Credit Card).
My plan as of now is to take my Expired ID, Work ID, Credit Cards, Library Card Tax Forms, College Transcripts, Birth Certificate, and Father to the Post Office to try and get a damn Passport, and then backtrack to a Social Security Card and State ID from there. Total overkill.
TL;DR - America is stupid.
.
