Mechagodzilla
Tank
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2003
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A point of advice to all players who participate in Team Deathmatch in maps containing the SLAM tripmine:
If your team-mate says, "I'm mining the stairwell, please duck under the mines on the way up," that means that there are mines in the stairwell and you must duck under them.
Otherwise, you will die.
If you do, for whatever obtuse reason, forget this simple message and accidentally run headlong into said mines, do not assume that the mines are now gone forever and will never be replaced.
The second, third, fourth, or even tenth time that you dash into the same hallway and get blown to hell by the same mine are testiments to that fact.
Further messages from your mining team-mate along the lines of:
"Jesus ****, DUCK under the mines!"
-or-
"DUCK goddammit! D-U-C-K!"
are also key indicators that you may be doing something wrong.
Comprehension Quiz:
There are three red lasers crossing a hallway at eye-level.
You have been warned that you must duck under the lasers or you will explode.
You see one of your team-mates run directly into the first laser. He explodes.
Two seconds later another teamate runs directly into the second laser. The second team-mate also explodes.
Your turn. Do you...
A) Walk down the hallway and duck under the laser?
B) Detonate the mine from a safe distance, and then replace it with a new one as you pass?
C) Find another hallway?
-or-
D) Run at full speed towards the mother****ing laser because that tactic worked so well for the last two morons?!
If you answered D, then you are apparently 90% of the people who play Team Deathmatch.
Please dispose of your Half-Life 2 and replace it with a Chia Pet.
Thanks!
For the remaining 10%, free to post your own public service announcement in this thread. It's edutainment!
If your team-mate says, "I'm mining the stairwell, please duck under the mines on the way up," that means that there are mines in the stairwell and you must duck under them.
Otherwise, you will die.
If you do, for whatever obtuse reason, forget this simple message and accidentally run headlong into said mines, do not assume that the mines are now gone forever and will never be replaced.
The second, third, fourth, or even tenth time that you dash into the same hallway and get blown to hell by the same mine are testiments to that fact.
Further messages from your mining team-mate along the lines of:
"Jesus ****, DUCK under the mines!"
-or-
"DUCK goddammit! D-U-C-K!"
are also key indicators that you may be doing something wrong.
Comprehension Quiz:
There are three red lasers crossing a hallway at eye-level.
You have been warned that you must duck under the lasers or you will explode.
You see one of your team-mates run directly into the first laser. He explodes.
Two seconds later another teamate runs directly into the second laser. The second team-mate also explodes.
Your turn. Do you...
A) Walk down the hallway and duck under the laser?
B) Detonate the mine from a safe distance, and then replace it with a new one as you pass?
C) Find another hallway?
-or-
D) Run at full speed towards the mother****ing laser because that tactic worked so well for the last two morons?!
If you answered D, then you are apparently 90% of the people who play Team Deathmatch.
Please dispose of your Half-Life 2 and replace it with a Chia Pet.
Thanks!
For the remaining 10%, free to post your own public service announcement in this thread. It's edutainment!