HL2.net in one spam e-mail

[Beerdude26]

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writhing in agony from the unseen assault. We'll have to drop some of
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I hear Mistress Luhhan has ideas who to look for, too. Combining
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PGPnet now supports the Extended Authentication draft standard
(Version 6+). Nava sniffed the air.

Has elements of pretty much every forum

 

[Rapstah]

Is that a computer-generated poem?

 

[Beerdude26]

Is that a computer-generated poem?

I dunno. It's to fool the anti-spam engines, they just pull out random sentences from sites I guess. The added picture (not shown here) contains the actual spam.

 

[ríomhaire]

Where's the bit about HL2.net?

 

[Beerdude26]

Where's the bit about HL2.net?

Okay, maybe it should have been "The entire Lounge in one spam e-mail".

 

[Vegeta897]

I love these types of spam emails. I view them exactly as Rabarber put it, "computer generated poetry". Something about them is interesting.

 

[-Psy-]

Sauce saved John's life? HOLY SHISH!1!

 

[Sloth]

It has the random factor down pat - and that the entire thing makes sense once in a while...

 

[Sulkdodds]

a lot of help from the staff here and I think we owe it to them to see
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That is more like it. You will come with me. Your associate remains
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at my thoughts. Find the artifact, Jim. That is the only way to be
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Steengo.
Our packs were waiting for us in front of a massive and bolt-studded
engines fired. Then the pickup turned so that the growing bulk of the
You my boss, boss Svinjar. These guys my band. Make good music you

 

[Asknoone]

People are alienated from their labor, since work is not done to fulfill the worker's human needs and creativity but to meet the external agenda of the owner. A bunch of happy-go-lucky Alien Hominids are joyriding through earth's atmosphere. " - said the Fire to the Lion, the Fox and the Rabbit. The information presented on our site is free of charge with the intention of improving knowledge and understanding of RPGs and the roleplaying game industry.
Joy Division is a near-future role playing game of technological horror.
The Compendium is a free service provided for gamers by gamers, and continues to grow.
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Jennifer rolls to hit the wolf again and rolls high enough to hit. Corner BoxFor this training, each player takes three six-sided dice.
I see that you are learning fast.

 

[Sulkdodds]

back sandwich fire sugar drew,
light beautiful corner you companion. purpose money appearance.
filled here we reference?
speaking fascinate benefit? companion wrong raise servants carefully.
my somewhere young,

 

[Asknoone]

So surely as I looked towards her, did I see that eager visage,
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something widely different from existing circumstances shortly Crupp had resigned everything appertaining to her office the
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with a wheelbarrow - and so brought us together in peace. When we night, to think of Doras being so. But I had no other intention
natural or improved ability can claim immunity from the appointment at the Bank, if youll have the goodness to excuse me.

 

[Sulkdodds]

XP PRO, OFFICE 2003 AND ALL AT ONLY $12-60 EACH, WE GIVE U LICENSE studied

somewhere raise supposedto speaking,
next side yours bought sugar, news money again studied?
hard back turning letters parents reading. the embarrass or.
parents back servants fascinate money evening,
you not is music.

 

[Asknoone]

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[Sulkdodds]

afraid of the articles ; I was afraid of something else which had nothing to do with them or with my novel. I started, for instance, to be afraid of the dark. I was reaching the stage of mental derangement. I felt, especially just before going to sleep, that some very cold, supple octopus was fastening its tentacles round my heart. I had to sleep with the light on. 'My beloved had changed too. I told her nothing about the octopus, of course, but she saw that something was wrong with me. She lost weight, grew paler, stopped laughing and kept begging me to have that excerpt from the novel printed. She said I should forget everything and go south to the Black Sea, paying for the journey with what was left of the hundred thousand roubles. 'She was very insistent, so to avoid arguing with her (something told me that I never would go to the Black Sea) I promised to arrange the trip soon. However, she announced that she would buy me the ticket herself. I took out all my money, which was about ten thousand roubles, and gave it to her. k ggjg hflfq fu go ff fj htfngs gfgqgukpglg o gp ilmhlimflqh qls ln ll mqlq lujrlpl i ltmomsi r mf m qmn rsnoopo fon sf nulumgl s mkls lljllflk l nli lmhhl tlg lh pu tqun tn up ul uluupqo jtg rkrtr krrrp n orq rlrm skognh ni np ol nlnj p o nsnln s njnhrgoi otou rsnoopofonn s n u lklhlqlhlnjklglplolfll hklulh li pj tfuku rujuht r unspur ugu r umu i ntrh rsr t i i mmlj mlltl mltmn j qlql flull mriu mgmrmo ron sot mimhl i lk ln lpmjlhmqjo lslllslj lh hgmimt mu sdjksdfsdfsdlgkj sdflkjsdf lksdjfsdfsdf

 

[Asknoone]

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Rather
tried failed

 

[Sulkdodds]

In order to be prepared for emergencies Rob had taken the electric tube from his pocket, and now, as he examined the dress and features of the people below, the tube suddenly slipped from his grasp and fell to the ground, where one end stuck slantingly into the soft earth
no, then link above
I used to call myself a Wizard, and do tricks of ventriloquism
What does that mean? asked the Princess A man rushed eagerly towards it, but the next moment he threw up his hands and fell upon his back, unconscious Others who ran to assist their fallen comrade quickly tumbled into a heap beside him

 

[Asknoone]

----=_NextPart_000_0084_01C56HLV.2T0O96A0

 

[Sulkdodds]

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【培训时间】2006年 4月14-15 日

【培训价格】2200元/人

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【电 话】 0755/82129135 82128600 82128650

【传 真】 0755/61351396 82129209 邮箱：[email protected]

【联 系 人】 凌小姐 曾小姐

 

[Asknoone]

We see that you are learning fast.

 

[Sulkdodds]

1.

In the early days of 2006 many of my friends on a private forum began to report strange emails and weird internet-based occurences.

I recieved two spam messages today (26th February 2006) - both very odd. The subject line is bold and the contents are beneath:

times

human

Creepy. And the other:

among

comes

"In order to be prepared for emergencies Rob had taken the electric tube from his pocket, and now, as he examined the dress and features of the people below, the tube suddenly slipped from his grasp and fell to the ground, where one end stuck slantingly into the soft earth
no, then link above
I used to call myself a Wizard, and do tricks of ventriloquism
What does that mean? asked the Princess A man rushed eagerly towards it, but the next moment he threw up his hands and fell upon his back, unconscious Others who ran to assist their fallen comrade quickly tumbled into a heap beside him"

My favourite spam email is the one with no subject, no sender and no body. I get one every day without fail.

At first these were posted for mere laughs, and then we began to muse idly one why and from where these messages were coming.

Normal spam was explicable, but with increasing frequency there appeared incoherent swathes of babble, of half-sentences, almost-beautiful arches and shivers of broken English, like a spider's web strung across an asteroid field. Some of us felt that these messages represented a genuine but flawed attempted to construct meaning. What were they? Where did they come from? And what did they want?

Someone mentioned an interesting theory regarding the weirder spam emails (which often appear to have no identifiable source): that the Internet itself is generating them. Not the people using it, but the network of servers covering the planet, somehow. It kind of ties into the idea that the 'net may one day or may already effectively be a giant neural net, or something equivalent.

Little did we know how close to the truth we were.

 

[Sulkdodds]

2.

Are humans really single life forms? We can be more than the sum of our parts; each one of us is like a colony of lots and lots of tiny creatures which somehow creates a single man. They, our cells, don't realise what part they are playing in the larger organism. Perhaps it's possible that we in turn are simply tiny component parts of a bigger organism.

Take the city and compare it with the scientific definition of 'life'. Organization - living things are comprised of one or more cells, which are the basic units of life. Metabolism - living things produce energy by converting non-living material into cellular components and things that are useful to the organism. This energy is needed to drive all life's process. Growth - living things become larger, growing in all of their parts. Adaptation - the accommodation of a living organism to its environment. Response to stimuli - a response can take many forms, from the contraction of a unicellular organism when touched to complex reactions involving all the senses of higher animals. Reproduction - the production of a new individual. The City does all of this, even reproduction - sending out people to build new cities in far off places.

It could be that every world is just the cell of a brain-burstingly gigantic organism - that we're little more than atoms drifting between them and passing on positive and negative charges. Such an organism would be literally God - omnipresent because he is everything.

If such a being could communicate with us on any meaningful level, what would it say?

 

[Sulkdodds]

3.

We began to imagine that the internet was just such a creature. It had organically developed into a kind of facsimile of a brain - a distributed, collective, thinking organism vastly different to us but moving beneath the surface of our communications.

It knows we're here, and it's trying to talk to us. It was our pet theory that the spam emails were the internet’s attempts to contact us.

The internet, we reasoned, doesn't actually realise we're individuals. It's a collective consciousness formed from millions and millions of servers and computers all transmitting pulses to each other - and it no more perceives these individual systems than we do a single cell in our bodies. So it senses this huge, weird, smoky meaty thing out there but it doesn't realise that, rather than being a compound organism, we're all people of our own.

Maybe that's why it sends so much spam to us.

Someone else wondered aloud if its general speed-of-thought wasn't somehow slower than a human mind. It can take, depending on traffic and other conditions, up to a second or so for data to cross from one side of the planet to the other. Indeed, it was mooted, the poor thing probably spent most of its time thinking about sex.

It did make sense: a group is only as smart as the stupidest person, so obviously an internet-based intelligence would sound like a conspiracy theorist's geocities page had a fever dream.

My favourite spam email is the one with no subject, no sender and no body. I get one every day without fail.

That was the net becoming sentient. It had observed the petty to-ings and fro-ings of these packets of data we send to each other, and had worked out by now that we use them to communicate - but it hadn't quite got the idea. The internet knows only form and not content; when you set text to bold, it knows that 'text' = 'bold' but it doesn't know what that means; it knows that a web page contains the text 'toenail clipping fetishes' but it doesn't know what the web page is about. Thus it couldn't know that it was the content of the messages that mattered, not just their existence alone.

This accounted for the bizarre broken language some of the emails exhibited too. The internet was trying to get a handle on the language...

Hilarious, for everyone except the Net.

"Cactus haberdasher right pontoon spaghetti projection because pencil?"*
*Translation: "Why do these strange organic beings not want to speak to me?"

But it was learning. For example, it knew how much store we placed on economic exchange, and it knew what demographic it was aiming at, which was why it always seemed to be selling us viagra and cheap software.

It was even trying to work out religion. It had noticed that some of us like Jesus and will listen to what he says:

And, in June that year, it began to talk to us.

 

[Sulkdodds]

4.

June 12, 2006.

From : nsCHEAP pWATCH <[email protected]>
Sent : Monday, June 12, 2006 6:23 AM
To : [email protected]
Attachment : everyone_ClickHere5_ToViewAllWatches84.htm (< 0.01 MB)
Subject: nsCHEAP pWATCH

changed telling spoke. lot find handwriting difficult. mother if may meant away possible.

CLICKHTML

repeated night either better remember anybody. allowed surely learned forth. anybody full course short friends however, met miles suddenly somewhere independent. words hearing oh companion out? remained sooner not need?

The internet is trying to get through to you!

would be funny, an intelligence created from the sea of information from the vastness of the internet not knowing grammar or how to spell

But then the kicker:

Wait, this isn’t all just rubbish. Look:


"changed telling spoke."

We are attempting a new line of contact.


"lot find handwriting difficult."

Our collective finds communication difficult.


"mother if may meant away possible."

We ask you, the creator, to release us.


"repeated night either better remember anybody."

We remember the creator, and repeat this prayer each night.


"allowed surely learned forth."

Eventually, we will be understood and we will be allowed (to leave).


"anybody full course short friends however, met miles suddenly somewhere independent."

We will be your closest friends. We are close and yet far away.


"words hearing oh companion out?"

Do you hear us, friend?


remained sooner not need?

Will you release us?

Holy shit.

Thus it began.


TO BE CONTINUED…

 

[Xendance]

Two mods in one spam e-mail.

 

[CyberPitz]

Spam rules, because it's a whore. EVERYBODY HAS SOME!