How to get a girlfriend

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Garfield_

Garfield_

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Im 17 and ive never ever got any girlfriend :bonce:
Since i spend all my time here, with the computer and im never out so i cant get one like that except some cyber girlfriend which i dont want. So im wondering if i could get some tips here if you would like to write something about how you met your girlfriend...

embarassing ? :rolling:
 
The following is what has worked for me through my own limited experience.

Take things slow when meeting a girl, if you rush things you probably won't get anywhere.

Don't meet a girl or talk to a girl with the sole purpose of going on a date with them. Its not like in the movies where you see a girl you like so you just go and try to say something sweet that will make them want to go on a date with you. Its about talking to them and getting to know them first, then you can bring up the possibility of going on a date. If you go about this way you will be much more comfortable because you will usually be able to figure out if she would say no without you ever having to actually ask the question. Plus if you think she will say no then you can always come back later and try to slowly "woo" her.
 
I spend all my time here, and I'd never had a proper girlfriend. Now...Things have changed ;) I didn't follow and rules, I didn't use any tips. I liked her a lot and she liked me, and then one day she told me how she felt. We never met to try to get with each other, there was just a spark there and it grew.... I never had to use any "tricks" to get her to like me, she just did because I was honest and open with her from the start.

I'm sure there is someone like that for everyone. Also, I never anticipated it... It genuinly did happen right at the very moment I was least expecting it to.

But then maybe thats just me :)


I will say this... Don't expect anything from her, especially don't think she will fall madly in love with you. If you expect too much, then it will probably force her away. Just roll with it...
Don't expect compromise either. Seeing someone and thinking you can change them with time, just causes tension.


Edit: I seem to just be echoing the advice I've been given actually.
 
You also need to ask yourself whether you want a girlfriend or not. I thought I did but well, lets just say I was wrong and Im quite happy playing TFC all day and listening to music, which makes me a lot happier then some girl. But thats just me, I'm obviously not mature enough or whatever... Yeah im 17 too bordering on 18. If you spend all your days on the computer then how are you going to survive with a girlfriend... I mean even if you magically got one now, would you know what to do? Would you do what you knew to do? Would you be bothered? Would you be comitted? Would you be able to resist the temptation to speak in l33t!!!111?

edit- oh and yeah like Farrow said if you want to get the girl as a girlfriend you will bugger up, get nervous, whatever or just complely miss the point. Perhaps when your more socially tuned, confident and "street-wise" you can try that but first just have a few girlfriends to start you off so you can understand 1) yourself and your way of doing things

2) about girls

overall the more you try the worse you will do, the more you try the more stressed or pissed off you will be and therefore you will be less happy rather then more. You got to be relaxed and enjoy talking to them, rather then it being almost traumatic.
 
While I've had my fair share of relationships I've never been in a serious one. Well, at least - I've never been "in love". That's probably because I'm only 16, but I never really try to use "tricks" like Farrow said. I just be myself, while I may like someone - there's not much point in trying to impress someone to make them like you. They either do or they don't in my opinion. I'd rather them like me opposed to some show I'm performing.
 
JiMmEh said:
While I've had my fair share of relationships I've never been in a serious one. Well, at least - I've never been "in love". That's probably because I'm only 16, but I never really try to use "tricks" like Farrow said. I just be myself, while I may like someone - there's not much point in trying to impress someone to make them like you. They either do or they don't in my opinion.
Click to expand...



Exactly... and just when do you drop the masquerade? When they tell you they like you? A year later...20 years, when you both get divorced? People get together far too often for superficial reasons...


There are so many people out there, that there will be someone who matches you perfectly. You just have to hope they turn up.


Fat Tony was right as well. Having a girlfriend changes a lot in your life really, and you need to be sure its what you want.
 
Listen to Farrow, he is old, wise and rotting in the teeth
 
Yeah - I think the thing is just to go easy, take your time, get out and meet people. The root of your problem seems to be that you don't get out much.. which reduces your chances somewhat as if you're not on the shelf, you can't be picked.

I think you really need to address that first. Start getting out, going to parties and socializing and you'll find the rest falls into place in due time, if you're patient.

I'm not great, but it's how I live, and I get along OK, so I thought I'd just whack in my spare change :)
 
Hmm, you're right...I do need to go to the dentist.

jondyfun said:
Yeah - I think the thing is just to go easy, take your time, get out and meet people. The root of your problem seems to be that you don't get out much.. which reduces your chances somewhat as if you're not on the shelf, you can't be picked.

I think you really need to address that first. Start getting out, going to parties and socializing and you'll find the rest falls into place in due time, if you're patient.

I'm not great, but it's how I live, and I get along OK, so I thought I'd just whack in my spare change :)
Click to expand...
Its good advice, I know it helped me...
but having said that, I didn't meet her while I was going out socialising. It happens when it happens really. You loosen up a lot though when you go out with people more, and it helps you get a broader perspective and just generally be more grounded, because you've constantly got other peoples opinions to view yourself through...That isn't to say you should hang on every word of what people say, but see it for what it is.

Its that old cliche though really, but...just be yourself. Never put on an act.


Edit: I'l say this though. It never hurts to say nice things...Really trust me on that ;) Oh and one golden rule. Fine, most deffintaly isn't. Other than that, just go with the flow...

Edit 2: Another thing. When you do find someone you like, don't feel too pressured to do things the normal way. You don't need to have "dates" and all that malarky if you don't want to. Just find something you both enjoy, and do that. Obviously, that might include going for meals and such...but it doesn't have to necessarily be "a date"
 
I usually get really drunk, tell them how hot they are, then they tell me they are marrried, so that doesn't work.. Anything else, might, good luck :)
 
Ohh thank god, thanks for answering. I have my periods when i really cry because i have no girlfriend. One year ago i moved to a new town, and on the new school i saw someone that i thought was the most beautiful girl there is, one year later (few days from now ) i had a dream about her. That i was walking to the school bus and she was there, i walked to her and said something and then we started talking. No idea about what. But then i saw i was already late and told her and we went to the buss, me her and her friend. At school i ran to her and asked her home number and she smiled and. then the dream ended, But im sure she was to become my girlfriend and the day after when i woke up i realized that it was a dream :( i really hated my life one or two days after that.

EDIT: But you gave me tips but not how to get a girl. But after reading this i think ill just be myself and not be hunting for girls, just waiting for the perfect moment. But when will this be
 
I'd just like to add, don't get too bogged down with looks. I'm sure you'd much rather have a girl who you love being around, rather than an absolute stunner just so your mates go - "Lucky bastard". I'm not saying looks aren't important, because if I said that I'd just be downright lying. Also, girlfriends are a lot of work like Fat Tony said, are you that desperate for one?
 
So what i should do is go out with my friends, try to have girls included. If it was a party i should be myself, enjoy the party and talk to some girls.

EDIT: damn dubble post :/
 
the biggest mistake people make is wearing their official half-life 2 gold package hat in public. This will not get you a girlfreind.
 
Farrowlesparrow said:
Hmm, you're right...I do need to go to the dentist.

Its good advice, I know it helped me...
but having said that, I didn't meet her while I was going out socialising. It happens when it happens really. You loosen up a lot though when you go out with people more, and it helps you get a broader perspective and just generally be more grounded, because you've constantly got other peoples opinions to view yourself through...That isn't to say you should hang on every word of what people say, but see it for what it is.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I meant socializing in the sense of just getting out with people; if you're at college, say hi, have a chat, go for lunch with people or whatever, not the whole socialite thing :)

I had the same problem back then; taking myself too seriously. I was new into college, didn't know anyone and really kept up a shield between myself and everyone else. I used to wonder why people did go out of their way to talk to me, until I realised that I wasn't doing the same thing. So I did, and it turned my whole view of college life around - from a place I had to go to and suffered to somewhere I'd enjoy hanging out.

One of the hugest things I've learnt so far is to keep things in perspective. In reality, no-one gives a **** if you trip up, or say something dumb, as long as you take it in your stride; it's when you take yourself too seriously and refuse to laugh at yourself that people sit up and judge
 
^ yep. get to know her for a few weeks first. dont dive in headfirst or she'll crack your head on the bottom of the pool lol. even if youre just talking about the weather, just talk and have a laugh. dont treat here like one of your guy mates and try and be funny etc, just be laid back and be INTERESTED IN WHAT SHE SAYS. always look at her when she talks, and never look bored. if you look uniterested she'll finish what shes saying and then make an excuse to walk off.

also try and get her on her own when you feel you can make the move of asking her out. asking infront of everyone makes you look matcho yeah, but shes less likely to say yes in all honesty. and where you go for the first 'date' all comes down to how well you know her. by talking you can understand her interests and use that to your advantage. its all a game. she lays it out for you to play it out. surprise her in any way you can think how, but dont over do it as shell think youre trying too hard.

always look at her when you talk. most importantly of all be confident!!! chicks love that lol. dont stutter and look scared, confidence is everything.

its a hard game, but worth it when you get to the next level :P
 
Thats the way I live exactly...

People really don't care, unless you draw un-necessary attention to your mistakes. Even something as silly as spilling a drink in your lap. If you walk around going "Oh man, yeah i spilt me drink!", trying to make it obvious everyone will just laugh at you. If you just walk around like nothing is wrong, or even make a joke of it, people will laugh with you or just not care.


Its just about confidence I suppose. Confidence in yourself, in the fact that you don't need to be bothered if you choose not to. Things aren't scary, or awkward if you decided you don't want them to be. If you make a mistake, just as jondy says, take it in your stride, don't even look back. Choose not to regret anything...
 
Yeh, I'm pretty hard to work up lol - I remember one time on the bus those damn folding seats. I sat down on one, then stood up for a second to see if one of my mates was getting on the bus. The seat had folded down, and I just went to sit down but fell right on my arse. Obviously the rest of mates were laughing (and the other bystanders were smirking) but I just sat there laughinh "I MEANT to do that ;)" "It's much more comfortable, you should try it!" Obviously while sitting there embarassed as hell. I'm sure if I had gotten pissed off I would of just got slated :P
 
Im a shy guy and for me its hard to speak to anybody :/
thats a big problem, but haning out with people more will make me feel more self confident. I used to talk more but now when i spend all my time on the computer i dont get to talk to people much and it isnt good. So when summer comes ill really get out much more.
 
Jangle said:
the biggest mistake people make is wearing their official half-life 2 gold package hat in public. This will not get you a girlfreind.
Click to expand...


hahahahahah was wondering what i was doing wrong....

also take note of this, its from 'a beatiful mind':

say me and my mates are in a bar. the most gorgeous blonde youve ever seen walks in with her mates. so naturally, we all go for the blonde. but if we do, we block each other, and not a single one of us will get her. so then we go for her friends but they give us the cold shoulder as nobody likes being second choice...
but what if no one goes for the blonde? we dont get in each others way, and we dont insult the other girls...
its the only way we win...its the only way we all get laid...(lol i love that line).

moral of the story? never go for the most popular girl, as every guy with something in his pants will have the same idea.
 
Haha, yeah most people in my age would go for the queen.
Ive really learned much this day and i feel happy :D
 
well im 18 and never went for the 'queen' as it were, it just makes sense not to :E
 
Pureball said:
well im 18 and never went for the 'queen' as it were, it just makes sense not to :E
Click to expand...

isnt the queen married?
 
Hehe id go for the cutest and kindest looking one :D
I get the impression that the queen uses to be the most bitchy one :)
 
Dont bother
Evrything will go wrong
You will spend weeks mulling over being rejected
Whenever you have a chance you will miss it
Nothing will work out

Sorry, but I take all the hints and try all i can but thats always what happens :sniper:
 
No i have to be able to play something before joining a band.
 
Garfield_ said:
No i have to be able to play something before joining a band.
Click to expand...

Neither can most popular rock bands. :laugh: Seems nowadays if you grow long hair and pull the odd pose, you're set for life. :p
 
And by sitting with the computer all these years, i dont know what to talk about when i meet a girl. I just dont know what to talk about or what to say, what i do i just to say few words like yeah, i know.... What can i do about this ?
 
You don't want a girlfriend :)

Slagging it about is much more fun :D

But hell, don't make the mistake of befriending someone you're after - at a certain point make it clear to them you're interested.


EDIT: Just say 'hi' and then something random - pickup lines are a big no-no, unless you can pull em off :P
 
I wouldn't ever "hunt" for a girlfriend like some people do, i would only like to spend my time with someone if i really liked them.

I'm not the type of guy that will go to a club just for a shag.

What is important is to remain social if you do want to meet someone, you oviously will not get a girlfriend while sitting at the computer (well you can i guess but meh, internet dating is wierd)
 
Best place to meet chicks: Bible Studies
Become and christian and you'll have a gf within a few months
Theres tons of opportunities for socializing
If you hang with the same group of chicks like 4 times a week
At church, bible study, youth group, some churchy event
You'll really get to know the people

Plus church chicks are whorey.

w00t!! 2,000th post! ^_^
 
just be yourself ..nothing more offesive than people trying to be something they're not. ...oh and treat a woman like you would anyone else (this does not mean farting around her cuz you think of her as one of the boys)
 
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