How to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity

[Letters]

Every once in a while, I get some stupid chain e-mail that's actually kinda funny...

And I thought some of you might appreciate this advice. :cheers:

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with
that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Dont use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time
this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling
"Run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner "Due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go."

I think number six is a good idea...

 

[Sprafa]

Is this from the MAVA again??

 

[Champ]

Yeh... Number 6 stands out. Number 19 is pretty neat also :-P

 

[Letters]

Is this from the MAVA again??

Frankly, it wouldn't surprise me.

 

[Maxi]

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time
this week!!!!!"

I might do that...

 

[qckbeam]

Hehehe, those are some good tips, I think I'm going to use some of those, in accordance with the prophecy.

 

[Gorgon]

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

I love this one too. It remainds me of Star Wars. Yoda and jedis finish their sentences with MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU.

in this case "in......prophecy"...................lol sounds cool. ain't it?

 

[Chris D]

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time
this week!!!!!"

I might do that...

I used to do that at work with the chocolate vending machines, and I had my girlfriend in stitches of laughter for about 15 minutes by actually doing it at an ATM machine

I find that kind of humor hilarious.

 

[Bad^Hat]

Aha! Some of those are just plain evil, I likes

1, 14 and 15 are my favourites. The ATM one is rather overdone

 

[Bad^Hat]

I used to do that at work with the chocolate vending machines, and I had my girlfriend in stitches of laughter for about 15 minutes by actually doing it at an ATM machine

I find that kind of humor hilarious.

Some people are so easy to humour

I like the blonde joke better, she's at a vending machine in the workplace and a man comes up behind her late for work wanting a drink. She already has a Pepsi and a Diet Coke placed on the table next to the vending machine, as she carefully takes a dollar from her purse and slides it into the machine. She ponders for a moment, then presses the button for Sprite. This goes on for awhile, with the man becoming increasingly impatient, until he cries out for her to hurry up. She simply turns and replies - "Shhh, I'm winning."

 

[Chris D]

lololololol

 

[Shuzer]

LOL Bad^Hat, that was great

 

[qckbeam]

you know what was funny, Chris_D's avatar, that is, unti lhe ruined it by telling everyone it was a fake ;(

 

[63]

#6 was the best! If you said #11 it would just make you look stupid.

 

[Brian Damage]

I have all of these in a book.

 

[Baal]

#4 is definetly my favorite.

hahaha, "Put all your letters to me in here"

It works on so many levels.

 

[Bad^Hat]

#4 is definetly my favorite.

hahaha, "Put all your letters to me in here"

It works on so many levels.

You could spray "OUT" on the skip bin out back :E

 

[CyberSh33p]

this is pretty brilliant, I wanna try dsome of these

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

this is pretty brilliant, I wanna try dsome of these

For the life of me i can't think why, but i read that as.

"this is pretty brilliant, I wanna try on a summer dress."

 

[jimbones]

isn't there one missing?

+ When taking the elevator go *DING* every time the elevator stops at a floor.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Hahaha, thats pretty good actually.

 

[Brian Damage]

There are loads missing.

"While he is away, push your partner's desk into the elevator and hit all the buttons"

"Stare at someone on the elevator, then suddely announce 'I've got new socks on!'/'You're one of THEM!'"

"Speak in a Jamaican accent. End every sentence with 'mon.'."

 

[Bad^Hat]

There are loads missing.

"While he is away, push your partner's desk into the elevator and hit all the buttons"

"Stare at someone on the elevator, then suddely announce 'I've got new socks on!'/'You're one of THEM!'"

"Speak in a Jamaican accent. End every sentence with 'mon.'."

"Come to work early and set your desk up in the elevator. When people open the door ask if they have an appointment."

I got a whole list of these elevator ones on my home PC, will post later tonight

 

[Brian Damage]

Do so! Do so!

 

[CrazyHarij]

*one guy* Do it ! *two guys* Do it! *three guys* Do it! *the entire choir* Dooooooo It!

 

[G-Dub]

#6 was the best! If you said #11 it would just make you look stupid.

I'm gonna try it though, LMFAO...

 

[RogueShadow]

Haha I'll give some of those a try in accordance with the prophecy
Would you like fries with that in accordance with the prohecy

 

[LittleB]

My favorite is the zoo one

 

[Sulkdodds]

I liek the jungle one. You could wear a pith helmet as well.

 

[Raziaar]

Yeah, out of that list the zoo one was my favorite one too. Haha. I can picture protective parents rushing their kids back to their cars hurredly in a panic to get out of the parking lot away from the zoo.

 

[Shippi]

http://www.getannoyed.com/

 

[The Dark Elf]

Every once in a while, I get some stupid chain e-mail that's actually kinda funny...

And I thought some of you might appreciate this advice. :cheers:






I think number six is a good idea...

hahaha, those were great, nice find

There are loads missing.

"While he is away, push your partner's desk into the elevator and hit all the buttons"

"Stare at someone on the elevator, then suddely announce 'I've got new socks on!'/'You're one of THEM!'"

"Speak in a Jamaican accent. End every sentence with 'mon.'."

Oh god just saw those, cracked up laughing. I like the second one, very very funny :E

 

[Fat Tony!]

damn thread necros

 

[CrazyHarij]

This is so genius.