Putting myself out there

[Saturos]

You're gay.

so's your momma

The Cap'n just admitted to being gay.

 

[Acepilotf14]

I also need advice.

I fail at girls.
I mean, I have several friends who are girls, but that's it. D:

 

[Que-Ever]

The Cap'n just admitted to being gay.

Not really :/

Liberaci is gay, and so is Elton John.

before stern multi-quote-pwn

 

[AKIRA]

why are you guys always picking on stern?

 

[Pesmerga]

It's probably your ugly that keeps the gals at bay.

 

[Krynn72]

why are you guys always picking on stern?

Because he can take it.

 

[Kula Meenur]

****, I can't believe i'm asking helplife2.net for relationship advice. I was always one of the people who'd spam the **** out of these threads. Oh well, here goes.

Ok, so i'm just getting over this girl I really liked, and who I THOUGHT felt likewise for me, but I found out was just giving me a shot because everybody was telling her she should go out with me, even though she didn't really feel as strongly for me as I did for her. It ****ing hurt. A lot.

Now I feel like I can't sit on my ass and just wait for a relationship to come to me. That was the closest i've ever come to having something meaningful with a girl, and I failed. Miserably might I add.

How the hell do I put myself out there? I don't think i'm a repulsive person, hell, I think i'm pretty charming. But I just don't know how to put myself into that position again, I don't know how to find somebody meaningful to me, somebody that I feel can comfort me, a person that makes me feel hurt when they've been hurt.

I want to find somebody I can call up at midnight, show up at her house, and just go for a stroll with. Somebody I can just relax in the park with at one in the morning. I don't care if she doesn't have a ferocious tongue, or if she never sleeps with me.

How the hell does a person find something like that? It just feels impossible to me. I came so close, and it felt so good, and now I feel like I need to get there again. I just don't know how.

Get your ass of the computer, go outside and talk about this kind of stuff to somebody in person. Go to the pub, get a ****ing job, make mates at school or just go somewhere and develop some social skills with people you know. Even if they're assholes. At the end of the day the worst place you could be in would be without a life. By that i mean dead.

Also, if you feel depressed or if you're full of self doubt then swallow your pride and do something good for somebody. It's pretty amazing how good it feels. And by something good, i mean "a random act of kindness" like using your manners or doing something for ya mum that she didn't ask you to do. Makes things better indefinately.

 

[AiM]

Confidence and actually giving a shit in having proper hygiene. Go in with the intention of not really giving a shit about the girl and never appear desperate. Flirt. Set realistic goals. You don't have to be a metrosexual but don't look like a bum... and get rid of that 'stache. Avoid buying clothes at the same places where your mom buys groceries / household items. You don't necessarily need designer brands but just get clothing that makes you attractive and not over-the-top. Unless you're confident in your style, it helps to have honest input from the opposite sex about your appearance. There's plenty of advice around so I'll refrain from continuing.

 

[evil^milk]

****, I can't believe i'm asking helplife2.net for relationship advice. I was always one of the people who'd spam the **** out of these threads. Oh well, here goes.

Ok, so i'm just getting over this girl I really liked, and who I THOUGHT felt likewise for me, but I found out was just giving me a shot because everybody was telling her she should go out with me, even though she didn't really feel as strongly for me as I did for her. It ****ing hurt. A lot.

Now I feel like I can't sit on my ass and just wait for a relationship to come to me. That was the closest i've ever come to having something meaningful with a girl, and I failed. Miserably might I add.

How the hell do I put myself out there? I don't think i'm a repulsive person, hell, I think i'm pretty charming. But I just don't know how to put myself into that position again, I don't know how to find somebody meaningful to me, somebody that I feel can comfort me, a person that makes me feel hurt when they've been hurt.

I want to find somebody I can call up at midnight, show up at her house, and just go for a stroll with. Somebody I can just relax in the park with at one in the morning. I don't care if she doesn't have a ferocious tongue, or if she never sleeps with me.

How the hell does a person find something like that? It just feels impossible to me. I came so close, and it felt so good, and now I feel like I need to get there again. I just don't know how.

Sorry but from your post you came off rather immature and needy. Girls are really turned off by this - don't let her know you're into her that much.

Do you really want to be with someone? It takes commitment, a lot of responsibility, and you might not even end up loving her. It's hard to find someone like that.

Have you gone out with her already?

Many say that when you first date someone they say not to go with any expectations, but rather, just hang out with them as if they were your buddies (perhaps a potential mate, but don't give too much thought to this).

If both of you like hanging out with each other and it gets more serious then begin to contemplate if this girl could be a girlfriend.

 

[evil^milk]

Also, this. Kinda random but I liked it.

Also, if you feel depressed or if you're full of self doubt then swallow your pride and do something good for somebody. It's pretty amazing how good it feels. And by something good, i mean "a random act of kindness" like using your manners or doing something for ya mum that she didn't ask you to do. Makes things better indefinately.

well I'm not saying do nothing ..however if you seem to eager it'll put people off ..just flirt with girls but in a casual way ..just be yourself when it comes to women but if there's a girl you like you should let her know ..flirt, body language, attention ...just dont be a simpering fool like many men and follow her around like a lost puppy ..women dont want men who are easy to get, there must be some challenge or else it's not really worth fighting over

Words of troof. Listen to this man

And this:

yea that same exact situation happened to me last year. I eventually got over it although it took me a few months...but really, the best thing to do is to make friends with girls. Get comfortable with them then when you feel a connection just ask her out for lunch casually (not dinner cuz that's too obvious). From there you'll laugh, talk and flirt. She will have a really good time and so will you. After a few times like this you guys will see a connection with eachother and eventually go out.

Only problem is finding someone...it's best if you're in school. Easiest way to meet a girl.

 

[Saturos]

It's probably your ugly that keeps the gals at bay.

Now THAT's mean.:|

Not really :/

Liberaci is gay, and so is Elton John.

before stern multi-quote-pwn

and THAT's definately true.

 

[repiV]

The whole point is you're not supposed to work at getting women. That puts you in the position of the subservient, second-rate male. Very, very few people seem to actually grasp this concept so if you understand it and embody it you have a huge advantage.
Stand on your own two feet, be a leader, don't seek or require anyone else's approval, don't give a shit about any woman without having a damn good reason to care, and be in control of things - and they will be queuing up to seek your approval.

 

[Saturos]

The whole point is you're not supposed to work at getting women. That puts you in the position of the subservient, second-rate male. Very, very few people seem to actually grasp this concept so if you understand it and embody it you have a huge advantage.
Stand on your own two feet, be a leader, don't seek or require anyone else's approval, don't give a shit about any woman without having a damn good reason to care, and be in control of things - and they will be queuing up to seek your approval.

I agree totally. A woman mainly seeks self-confidence. Guys with thinning hair that rush out to find a hair piece turns women off. Same with the beard thing too. If I had a stache like that, they'd better damn well like it too or tough shit. That's my opinion anyways. Just be yourself but be reasonable. Most women don't like bums for example. This is because they also seek security and someone to provide.

 

[repiV]

I agree totally. A woman mainly seeks self-confidence. Guys with thinning hair that rush out to find a hair piece turns women off. Same with the beard thing too. If I had a stache like that, they'd better damn well like it too or tough shit. That's my opinion anyways. Just be yourself but be reasonable. Most women don't like bums for example. This is because they also seek security and someone to provide.

Exactly. It might not be the most appealing thing in the world to be a few stone overweight, but you'll be much more attractive as a confident fat guy than if you just lost the weight and stayed the same person.
Most of the things men do to make themselves more attractive really boil down to little more than improving their own self-image.

You could be the biggest geek ever, but if you told people to get used to it or **** off, you'd get on just fine with women.

 

[Angry Lawyer]

I used to be in a similar problem a few years back. Then suddenly, I ended up in the equally bad situation of meeting women who just plain sucked (not in the good way).

Count your blessings.

-Angry Lawyer

 

[Geogaddi]

In my experience, women will drop their pants on the spot if you're kind of an asshole but occasionally show a sweet/sensitive side, especially to her.

 

[repiV]

In my experience, women will drop their pants on the spot if you're kind of an asshole but occasionally show a sweet/sensitive side, especially to her.

Which is easily explained by the alpha male behaviour inherent in that attitude - you're the boss, but occassionally you might throw her a bone - which she craves because you're the boss.
Being an asshole is still way the hell down the list from being a true leader, though. It's just much more desirable than being a sycophantic wimp who tries to buy a woman's approval.

Typical male thought pattern goes that if you buy a woman you just met an expensive candlelit dinner and send her flowers, she'll love you. Typical female will tell you that's what a woman wants.

Never trust a woman's advice on early stage/casual relationships. It's always wrong.

 

[Saturos]

Which is easily explained by the alpha male behaviour inherent in that attitude - you're the boss, but occassionally you might throw her a bone - which she craves because you're the boss.
Being an asshole is still way the hell down the list from being a true leader, though. It's just much more desirable than being a sycophantic wimp who tries to buy a woman's approval.

Typical male thought pattern goes that if you buy a woman you just met an expensive candlelit dinner and send her flowers, she'll love you. Typical female will tell you that's what a woman wants.

Never trust a woman's advice on early stage/casual relationships. It's always wrong.

Again, I agree here. Most women think what they want is to be worshipped and to have lots of material items. That's just not true. Neither is most women's advice on relationships when it comes to superficial stuff like hair style and dress. Most of the time, what they really want is just a little praise, support, and a man that's not afraid to tell her no from time to time. Two words: security and confidence. That's it.

 

[repiV]

Again, I agree here. Most women think what they want is to be worshipped and to have lots of material items. That's just not true. Most of the time, what they really want is just a little praise, support, and a man that's not afraid to tell her no from time to time. Two words: security and confidence. That's it.

Yeah, basically. The good news here is that any man has the power within them to become a babe magnet - whereas ugly women will always be ugly.
Women have the obvious advantage because from the moment they can talk they learn about relationships. We tend to learn nothing of the sort until we're out there, fumbling around - and as a result the women tend to run rings around us.
But with a bit of your own learning and the right attitude, you can become more powerful than any woman in the dating arena...and the fact that 90% of the men out there are sycophantic wimps means you don't even have to be anything special to score, so long as you understand how it works.

 

[evil^milk]

In my experience, women will drop their pants on the spot if you're kind of an asshole but occasionally show a sweet/sensitive side, especially to her.

Careful with being too cocky, though. If you mix cockyness (sp) with humor, it's much more of a turn-on for teh wimminz.

 

[Glirk Dient]

****, I can't believe i'm asking helplife2.net for relationship advice. I was always one of the people who'd spam the **** out of these threads. Oh well, here goes.

Ok, so i'm just getting over this girl I really liked, and who I THOUGHT felt likewise for me, but I found out was just giving me a shot because everybody was telling her she should go out with me, even though she didn't really feel as strongly for me as I did for her. It ****ing hurt. A lot.

Now I feel like I can't sit on my ass and just wait for a relationship to come to me. That was the closest i've ever come to having something meaningful with a girl, and I failed. Miserably might I add.

How the hell do I put myself out there? I don't think i'm a repulsive person, hell, I think i'm pretty charming. But I just don't know how to put myself into that position again, I don't know how to find somebody meaningful to me, somebody that I feel can comfort me, a person that makes me feel hurt when they've been hurt.

I want to find somebody I can call up at midnight, show up at her house, and just go for a stroll with. Somebody I can just relax in the park with at one in the morning. I don't care if she doesn't have a ferocious tongue, or if she never sleeps with me.

How the hell does a person find something like that? It just feels impossible to me. I came so close, and it felt so good, and now I feel like I need to get there again. I just don't know how.

First off, don't go for a girl based on her looks. If you want something meaningful it takes more than that. Find a girl thats fun to be with. Then make sure you find her attractive, she may not be the hottest girl but if she is confident/fun it means a whole lot more for something more than a one night stand.

It also helps if your on top of your game as well. Become confident, as confident as you can be without being a jerk. Confidence makes you look an awful lot more attractive. Also make sure you look decent so you can be attractive. Then all it takes is getting yourself in a position to find someone. Go hang out with people, perhaps people you wouldn't normally hang out with. Just go do fun stuff, meet new people as most people expect someone to find them. It's a lot easier if you go and meet new people so you have more girls to have a chance with. Eventually you will find one. Girls aren't that hard to get. Just pay attention to what guys who get a lot of girls do and try to figure out why it works. Good luck and remain optimistic.

 

[Emporius]

Careful with being too cocky, though. If you mix cockyness (sp) with humor, it's much more of a turn-on for teh wimminz.

So true. You have act so obliviously funnily(not a word) cocky that your not cocky.

errr...hard to explain
but it works

 

[Geogaddi]

I should clarify what I meant by asshole. I meant being cocky in an exaggerated, humorous manner. Not actually hurting people's feelings, but maybe insulting them in a minor and relatively harmless way. The sort of thing that gets you a playful punch in the shoulder, and makes you sound like a total badass who doesn't give a shit what anyone else says or does.

 

[Sgt.Tibbs]

****........

I've been sitting on my ass and just waiting for somebody to come by in my day to day social life for 2 years now, and i've gotten ONE result. Dunno how many years more I can wait before I kill myself.

Btw, should I shave the stache?

I might be 15 but I have common sense. And I respect you, you don't just go along like "pussy, suck my dick bitch, pussy". You can never, ever get a girl sitting on your ass. Go out and meet people! You're pretty cute in a tan, foriegn kind of way. I'd make out with you. But that might be the compulsive need and hunger to do that. But just be yourself. don't try to use the latest styles and all. wear what looks good on you. Me? I'm goin to my grave in a T-shirt with Kiss Me, I'm Dead and jeans. And if I'm gonna be dead I wanna look dead! no makeup to make me look pretty and asleep for me! thats just my style! I'm friends with a quarter of the people at my school and the rest I don't know. its cuz i be myself, bro!

Me and Friends::imu::bonce::bounce::angel::sniper::burp::frog::afro: RESIST ASSIMILATION!!!


Everyone Else: PREPARE TO BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!!

No, I'm not gay... I'm bisexual, thank you!

 

[sinkoman]

Thanks for ALL the advice here.

The whole "do it because you want to" thing makes sense to me. Now that I think of it, that has been a big problem for me. I have a hard time thinking for myself and being confident in my own decisions, i've always got to have everybody else's say in them.

 

[Phobie]

Shave the stache :'(

 

[evil^milk]

Leave it and have your friends tease you about it.

 

[Eejit]

Here's my advice Sinkoman. The girls who are best for a meaningful relationship are generally the less flirty ones. They don't want to end up as man-whore magnets.
Find a nice girl who's not putting herself out there too much. You might find the type you're looking for.

 

[Asuka]

There is no suck thing as too picky! NEVER LOWER your standards! Maybe thats just me tho, i have a ego bigger then this planet!!! MUAHhahahhahahah! lol. :O