The Adventures of Top Gear in redneck country

[CptStern]

TLDR: Top Gear crew traveling through hillybilly america paint offensive slogans on each others cars, get run out of town by banjo playing rednecks (ok I made up the part about banjos, although there was probably a banjo somewhere) who want to string them up because they think they're a gay couple

On the side of Jeremy’s ageing, beaten-up Trans Am I painted the legend, “Country music is rubbish”. Jeremy had adorned the flanks of James’s 1970s Cadillac with “Hillary for president” and “Nascar sucks”.

...Along the side of my truck James had painted just four short words: “Man love rules OK”.


We covered three miles before being placed in genuine fear for our lives.

After just a mile or two, we spotted a road sign telling us we were in Alabama, and we pulled over to film it. The sign was riddled with bullet holes. And not the pathetic little air-rifle pellet holes you might occasionally see in the UK; this thing was peppered with shotgun blasts and a few larger, gaping wounds inflicted, I could only imagine, by slugs from high-powered hunting rifles. We were definitely not in Cornwall

A mile or so later, we pulled into what Jeremy seemed keen to call a “gas station"

A woman — presumably a local — was walking towards us.

“Y’all queers trying to see how long you can last in a hick town?”

There was more movement around us on the forecourt now. Trucks were arriving and in the back of them I saw the broad backs and cowboy hats of what I could only imagine were more locals. Where they had sprung from, I had no idea. But I saw they were all carrying guns, propped up against their feet.

“No, look, we’re both mar­ried. Got kids. Just travelling through.”

An enormous man had come out of the station building now, to stand in the middle of the forecourt. He wore the regulation blue denim overalls, plaid shirt and work boots of a cartoon character and looked like you couldn’t stop him with a train. In an unexpectedly high voice, he started to count.

“Ten. Nine . . . ”

“Five . . . ”

I leapt out of the truck, pulling the bonnet release on the way, and grabbed the jump leads as James thrust them towards me.

“Three . . . ”

The hail of rocks onto the crew vehicles was intensifying as the drivers came to their senses, started up and retreated. “Get in, James. Turn it over.”

The old Caddy gave a heave and the engine made a couple of wheezing turns before it caught and fired up.

“Two . . . ”

I saw the trucks from the garage pulling away.

In the back of each, sitting square against the sides of the pick-up bed in sombre lines, the rednecks toted their shotguns, thin black barrels bristling straight up at the sky. Amid the tense squabble of English voices from our team, crackling across the CB, I also heard the slow drawl of a local.

“They’re comin’ up past here. We’re at the crossroads.” And: “I can see them here, too.” They were using their CB radios to track us. And I was suddenly very aware that television cameras and business cards would not protect us from guns.

I didn’t want to wake up tied to a tree, being invited to squeal like a little piggy for the entertainment of a 20-year-old psychopath in giant dun­ga­rees, with three teeth in his head and a bitter hatred of anyone who wasn’t also a 30-stone homophobic racist who shot at things he didn’t understand.

The fear slowly subsided as we drove out of Alabama. But we kept going. And months later, the new question is still asked of me: “Did that really happen in America at the petrol station, or did you make it up for the telly?”

Well, yes, it really happened. You didn’t even see the half of it.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/driving/features/article6858884.ece?token=null&offset=0&page=1

 

[Acepilotf14]

Soo.. all the British can do now is antagonize Americans?

 

[VirusType2]

They asked for it.

Drive into a gathering of any kind with hateful outcasted shit written on your car and it will be the same thing.

 

[CptStern]

they asked for it? painting slogans on one's car is asking to be lynched by a rabid mob of yokels?

 

[Raziaar]

Wait a second... isn't this like older than time itself? Why is the article about it made now?

EDIT: And god ****ing dammit Stern, this is not a ****ing slight against you, so don't take it as one. I know you're just aching to.

 

[CptStern]

Traditionally, the question asked of me when I meet anyone for the first time has been: â??So whatâ??s the best car youâ??ve ever driven?â? Recently thereâ??s been a change, the new question running thus: â??Did you really [insert ridi­culous moment from Top Gear] or was it made up for the telly?â?

And for roughly a quarter of a year, maybe more, the new question was: â??Were you really chased out of town by those American rednecks, or was it made up for the telly?â?

it's written by the host. the article confirms what people have been asking him

 

[VirusType2]

Yes, they literally asked for it, Stern.

In the programme in question, we wanted to know if it was possible to buy a car and drive across a chunk of the USA for less money than the cost of traditional “fly-drive” schemes offered by holiday companies.

It’s a pretty lengthy story, but in the course of our trip, by way of an entertaining diversion to keep up our spirits during an especially lengthy drive, we had devised a plan whereby we would each try to get the others killed.

We would each decorate the others’ vehicles with slogans we felt might stir up the feelings of the locals, cause maximum discomfort to each driver and raise a laugh for the viewer at home. And so, in a broad, dusty lay-by at the side of a road leading to Alabama, we parked up and set to with the paintbrushes, spray cans and stencils.

I would think anyone with that stuff written on their car was a stupid mother****er. And I don't even care about the things they wrote. I don't have an issue about what it says, but the purpose behind it.

Before the presidential elections, I saw someone's van spray painted with hateful Obama slogans, and there was a big ****er literally hanging out the window staring people down as he drove; 'asking for it'.

But anyway, I don't want to get serious into this discussion, I definitely enjoyed the story, laughing quite a bit. I'm not sure I believe the 'firearms in their hand' part, that's a lot of years in jail for something like that if convicted.

 

[Acepilotf14]

You wouldn't go through the streets of rural U.K. in a car that says 'The Queen sucks'.

You wouldn't go through Germany in a car that says 'Hitler was cool'.

They are quite silly for doing this.

 

[CptStern]

I agree, the chances of them beign shot in germany or london is much much much lower than in rural alabama ...what were they thinking?


anyways any half way intelligent person would see those slogans for what they are ..anyways, it's the homophobia not the slogans, notice they didnt mention the slogans at all?

 

[Raziaar]

You have to understand, that as you're riding around, you're coming across a huge number of people. A HUGE number of people. The chances of you eventually running into an individual or a group of like-minded individuals who are willing to act upon how they feel can be rather high.

So while it does say that they encountered some people who reacted very strongly to what they were doing, they also encountered a much larger number who simply did nothing, and would probably never have done anything.

 

[AJ Rimmer]

You wouldn't go through the streets of rural U.K. in a car that says 'The Queen sucks'.

I honestly don't think the majority of people would care.

 

[CptStern]

You have to understand, that as you're riding around, you're coming across a huge number of people. A HUGE number of people.

did you read the article? this happened in the very first mile after they had painted the slogans. they were all the same group as they were communicating by CB

The chances of you eventually running into an individual or a group of like-minded individuals who are willing to act upon how they feel can be rather high.

So while it does say that they encountered some people who reacted very strongly to what they were doing, they also encountered a much larger number who simply did nothing, and would probably never have done anything.

what? they didnt encounter anyone else:

A mile or so later, we pulled into what Jeremy seemed keen to call a â??gas station"

A woman â?? presumably a local â?? was walking towards us.

 

[Eejit]

You have to understand, that as you're riding around, you're coming across a huge number of people. A HUGE number of people. The chances of you eventually running into an individual or a group of like-minded individuals who are willing to act upon how they feel can be rather high.

So while it does say that they encountered some people who reacted very strongly to what they were doing, they also encountered a much larger number who simply did nothing, and would probably never have done anything.

They encountered the people who did care within 3 miles. At their first stop.

 

[Acepilotf14]

I honestly don't think the majority of people would care.

The majority of people here wouldn't care either.

Spoiler

i'm lying, people are idiots.

 

[Raziaar]

Well, they are in the south. There's a 5 "good old boys" per square mile concentration.

 

[Hazar]

wtf, you guys are like 2 years late:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Top_Gear:_US_Special

 

[CptStern]

I know, I remember reading article about the episode. this article is "new" because the host just wrote it to confirm that the incident wasnt faked

 

[xcellerate]

awesome. sigh.

 

[MuToiD_MaN]

Trolling IRL FTW.

 

[comradesean]

You wouldn't go through the streets of rural U.K. in a car that says 'The Queen sucks'.

You wouldn't go through Germany in a car that says 'Hitler was cool'.

They are quite silly for doing this.

I didn't know Nascar was Hitler or the Queen.

The more you know, huh?

 

[MuToiD_MaN]

I didn't know Nascar was Hitler or the Queen.

The more you know, huh?

Way to be difficult. Yes. Nascar is Hitler.

 

[The Monkey]

21 posts and not a single person posted the actually clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOyDLUzAAOY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2syY12OPkwI

 

[comradesean]

Way to be difficult. Yes. Nascar is Hitler.

Difficult? I'm not the one comparing the text Hillary for President with Hitler Rules or even the text Nascar sucks with Queen Sucks.

How the hell can writing that text on their cars warrant the assault they received?

You also completely ignore the fact that they didn't give a damn about those comments and immediately started on them about their supposed homosexuality. I'm not even sure what to compare that to so are you actually suggesting that anyone who parades their sexuality around should be shot or threatened to be shot while having rocks thrown at them and their cars?

 

[DEATH eVADER]

Wait a second... isn't this like older than time itself? Why is the article about it made now?

EDIT: And god ****ing dammit Stern, this is not a ****ing slight against you, so don't take it as one. I know you're just aching to.

I second this, this is like 2 years old and counting :|

 

[MuToiD_MaN]

Difficult? I'm not the one comparing the text Hillary for President with Hitler Rules or even the text Nascar sucks with Queen Sucks.

How the hell can writing that text on their cars warrant the assault they received?

You also completely ignore the fact that they didn't give a damn about those comments and immediately started on them about their supposed homosexuality. I'm not even sure what to compare that to so are you actually suggesting that anyone who parades their sexuality around should be shot or threatened to be shot while having rocks thrown at them and their cars?

Well, I'm suggesting that that's just how the Deep South works.

 

[CyberPitz]

I don't know, I was laughing to tears when i watched that episode.