The Daily Citizen - a many people post newspaper

[SamuraiKenji]

THIS JUST IN
NEW COMBINE TYPE:THE COMBORGZ!!!!!
After finding a planet full of cyborgs the Combine abandoned Earth to take of this planet(which we now know is called Plrkisplekth)and after that planet is gone we think there gonna come back here
-some soooo dead reporter:x






borg::
OBEY THE COMBORGZ!!






happy Jintor?

 

[cyk]

Inkheart you are basically the worst poster.

 

[SamuraiKenji]

like i give a damn what anyone else says?
its a spur of the moment kinda thing though you gotta admit its pretty original

 

[Jintor]

See the previous Daily Citizen thread for originality.

 

[SamuraiKenji]

lol..

 

[Sheepo]

total fail: the total suckiness of something to a point where the thing and the creator of said thing is looked down upon as the highest achievement in suckiness without any possibility of redemption even through means of blackmail, violence, bribery, and prostitution. See: inkheart449

 

[SamuraiKenji]

oh shut up...

 

[15357]

What the **** did you people do to my newspaper?


Argh.






*docks pay*

 

[Jintor]

Without mod powers, I can't stop people like Inkheart posting.

 

[SamuraiKenji]

hahaha funny....
im glad you dont have mod powers
i have a crude sense of humor end of story GET OVER IT

 

[Jintor]

I'm over it. You're not.

 

[Darkside55]

For Sale
One slightly used, slightly damaged 15-acre science facility, located in metropolitan Cleveland, Ohio. Facility contains full personnel housing, research laboratories, and underground training course. May contain one (1) neurotic, homicidal artificial intelligence program.

Serious inquiries only. Ask for C. Johnson.

 

[SamuraiKenji]

LOL nice one!!!

 

[Fuzileer]

New Janitor Needed.
No experience required.

Please report to the location of the Black Mesa Research Facility ASAP.

?6.60 per hour.

Increase of 30% overtime.

 

[Darkwolf]

WRITER RETURNS!

Today the TDC veteran journalist Darkwolf tagged into work much to the surprise of his colleagues. The battered, bruised and exhausted Darkwolf was then reported to have parked himself behind the desk, and write a short column. There are few eye witnesses to what followed, but CCTV recordings show Darkwolf producing glowing pieces of paper from his pockets, which then proceeded to tear apart all the inhabitants of the 15th TDC floor.





.................

login: Darkwolf
password: ****************

.................
password accepted
awaiting input

>
>
>>initiate program/lockdown

......

password: *****
password accepted, initiating lockdown.

Window seals, floors S10 - 139 activated
External door seals, activated
Escape tunnel seals, activated
Energy Shield, activated
>
Lockdown complete
...........
>>initiate/lockdowncd/red
.......
Code Red iniated

Toilet blocks seals, activated

Bwahahahahah. Now my fellow writers of the TDC. We shall see what happens to those who relocate while I'm on holiday. You shall now face the wrath of my MUTATED INTERNAL MEMOS!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

On a side note... what happened to the old thread?

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Nuked in a fiery Hellstorm.

 

[Mr.JaredMulero]

This Just in...A new type of headcrab!
Freak Headcrab!
Just announced today was the Freak headcrab,a new species of headcrab that the combine have created for warfare."They are...more powerful than any species yet,and as fast,or should I say faster than the fast headcrab zombie," says combine scientist ,M.C. Krauser.Some of the features of this headcrab are wings,acid spit,headcrabs buried in the skin for ranged attacks,speed, improved strength,and a crablike claw that replaces the victims left hand."These guys,they are tough mothers.They can stand up to four rocket launcher blasts,and eighteen crossbow shots,and they are fast as effing hell," says combine elite solider D. Nukem.Considering all the mutations that the host goes through,they must be in considerable pain."Well,I managed to bag one of these guys once,but as you can see,it wasnt easy," says resistance solider D. Hicks,showing us his lost arm,and half melted away face.The Freak headcrab is scheduled for release August 22,2054.

 

[SamuraiKenji]

daaaaaayam
now THAT would be something i would wanna fight!

 

[Acepilotf14]

.........................
Login: Cakepieman
Password: *********
oh hell, it did it again.
Why does it always do that with the asterick shit?
Eh hem.. Anyway,
'Access Granted, level 6 Clearence'
WARNING: Lockdown has been initiated, you will need special clearence from your Administrator, /Darkwolf/ for access. Please insersh code now.
Code: ********
Access Granted! Welcome, /Ace/ to HL2.net Security console 11-56bh! Insert query now.
C:/Unlock_floor S56
Unlocking...
ERROR
FREAK HEADCRAB DETECTED IN CELL BLOCK ZA5
LOCKDOWN?
/N/



Muahahha! FEEL MAH WRATH!

 

[Sulkdodds]

By the way, Inkheart gets an infraction for spam.

Keep it up, fellows.

 

[Mr.JaredMulero]

Yeah,Ive been thinking about it for a while and this is what i came up with.Besides,you only have 10 crossbow shots......Damn,I hope this concept gets into one of the videogames.

 

[Sulkdodds]

What?

 

[Mr.JaredMulero]

Oh,I was talking about the freak headcrab.

 

[Sulkdodds]

Since a lot of people posted between you and Inkheart, you should be more clear what you're talking about.

A good way to do this is to use the quote function. At the bottom right-hand corner of every post you'll see a blue 'quote' button. If you click this you'll be taken to a 'reply' form where the post you clicked has been put into quote tags, so that it will appear as a quotation in your own post:

Yeah,Ive been thinking about it for a while and this is what i came up with.Besides,you only have 10 crossbow shots......Damn,I hope this concept gets into one of the videogames.

Alternatively you can do this yourself: quote takes are

before the passage and

afterwards. Simply copy and paste the quotation between those two terms and, if you want, insert an author by changing

to

.

A demonstration:

This babylonian confusion of words results from their being the language of men who are going down.
[/@@@QUOTE]

...becomes, when you remove the red text...

This babylonian confusion of words results from their being the language of men who are going down.

Thanks, Bertie!

Hope you find this useful, Mr Jared Mulero.

 

[SamuraiKenji]

infraction for WHAT?
what did i do this time?
i know ive already gotten one but if this is a diffrent one i want to know what i did!

 

[Sulkdodds]

Double-posting, rubbish-spammy articles, and derailing - all in a thread with the explicit condition: "no more spam."

So shut up.

 

[Acepilotf14]

INKHEART RECIEVES INFRACTION!
Today, our very own Inkheart449 has recieved an infraction from Sulky. The reason is for "Double-posting, rubbish-spammy articles, and derailing"
This is the first in a series of infractions to Inkheart for his relative spammyness. Sulk has been recommended to the Council of Elders for the glorious achievment. More news today at 7:00pm PST.


THIS JUST IN!
A reporter for ACEnews has come up with a Sulkdodds interview! He had this to say:

Inkheart broke the rules of the forum by filling a useful thread with useless content. He has been disciplined for his indescretion; there is little else to say. Anyone who breaks our laws will recieve the same treatment.

I find it helpful at times like these to remind myself that our true enemy is idiocy. Idiocy was our mother when this was a young internet; it is, and has always been, the default condition of our discourse, our art, and our politics. But its operation creates monsters, both of those who fall to it and in the minds of those who accept it.

Breaking the rules of this site, and spreading idiocy, will not be tolerated - not from us, not from members, and not from the writer of this article. I've got my eye on you.

 

[Jintor]

I came into this thread expecting to find shit. Instead I found this very good article from Acepilot. Acepilot, you get a bonus.

 

[SamuraiKenji]

what is it with you guys and flaming me for every reason possible?

 

[Cavalry]

Ill give this a shot...

Techno Music heard during gunfights
Last night,after a series of what witness's call mindless killings,many people took up arms against the known enemy called the Combine.At 4:35,the most intense battle took place between 10-20 rebels and 100-150 Combine Soldiers.Leading the rebels was one Gordon Freeman,a scientist turned rebel leader.5 minutes into the battle,noise rose from Freeman's Hazardous Environment Suit.Techno music is what many are saying they heard.
The battle was a humiliating defeat for the Combine,as the lost 90 soldiers and only 4 rebels died.the question is,why did Freeman blast techno from his HEV suit? During the interview with Freeman,The Daily Citizen learned that he often blasts music from his suit in order for him to be entertained during battles.
For more on this story,play "Follow Freeman" in the life changing game-Half-Life 2

 

[SamuraiKenji]

HA!
thats a good one

 

[Omega11]

what is it with you guys and flaming me for every reason possible?

What is it with you and commenting on every single article? We can read, and we will know what he/she is writing about. More so, you're the one who 'doesn't care what people have to say' (so I'm probably wasting my time) and yet, YOU'RE the one commenting on every article/idea/concept, when really, if you were a (Proper) writer, then commenting on the articles of others (though giving positive input) is practically both useless, and unecessary =|.

In other news;

Writer Returns. . . Again
Since approximately mid-October, TDC writer 'Omega11' has been missing. Until recently, a sudden curiousity of what happened to the line of work he pursued, brought Omega back to the burning ahes of TDC head quarters.
"What have you done to my newspaper?" were the words of TDC founder, 15357.
Omega's thoughts were along the same lines.
"This is the second time, that in my 'absence' TDC has gone to hell. I'm one of the few who actually atleast knows what they are doing. Very few members participate poorly in our offices." Omega paused, and coughed, uttering gibberish similar in verbatim to 'inkheart'.

Lockdown Restrictions
"The saddest part of this lockdown, is that, members cannot leave. By choice or by force, we are all stuck here" TDC writer Omega11 explained earlier today shortly after arrival.
"The main problem," Omega claims, "is that UNWANTED staff, which contribute to the decline of such newspaper offices, cannot be kicked out, without being smashed into a (now) locked door. . . leading to brutal face injury. . . that sounds like a good idea."

This article was never finished, as focus was immediately diverted to. . . an internal memo.

Internal memo;
Who wants to (attempt to) boot Inkheart >>?

 

[Cavalry]

Combine troops find 1/4 mile drag strip
At 7:13 this morning,roaring engines were heard deep in a forest.Combine troops set out in APC's to find what the disturbance was.They discovered 45 heavily modded american muscle cars being raced down a 1/4 mile stretch of abandoned roadway.Only 4 racers were arrested,all were major players in the resistance movement going on in City 17.These people were-Gordon Freeman,along with his Dodge Charger,Alyx Vance,with her Ford Mustang,Father Gregori,with his Chevelle,and Sheckley,with his Ford Gran Turino.The four are now being interrogated at Nova Prospekt about the whereabouts of the other racers.

 

[Jintor]

The Daily Citizen would like to remind its Contributers that proper editing, spelling, and grammar is a compulsory requirement for contributions.

 

[SamuraiKenji]

Maniac on the loose!
This just in a maniac by the name of Dr.Issak Kleiner has been reported running around carrying a deadly Standard Issue Overwatch Pulse Rifle(AR2) and shooting countless CP's.
We dont know why he is doing this but this maniac must be stopped!
A good citized by the name of Gordon Freeman brought in this picture(featured below)

He took these pictures right before he was open fired on and had to flee

If you have any information on this madman please report it to the Police.
Thank you for your time.

 

[Sheepo]

Wanted: Mysterious "Sock 'em Boppers" Rebel Training Video

Our benefactors, the ever triumphant Combine, have caught wind of a video circulating around underground resistance members with the purpose of training rebels to use an advanced experimental weapon known as "Sock 'em Boppers". We would like to remind all citizens that engaging in combat with a Combine soldier is not, "More fun than a pillow fight!".

If you have any information about, or a link to, this video, specifically the original advertisement for this weapon, with detailed and rhyming instructions on it's use, please PM corporal sheperd, your friendly TDC contact to the combine. All information will be rewarded by corporal sheperd's eternal worship.

P.S. Inkheart is really, really lame.

 

[SamuraiKenji]

Eh oh well it was all I could come up with at that time.
I'll try to come up with something better later on.

 

[BAD]

DOG, the Combine Hunter Captured

The imfamous DOG was detained today inside an abandoned warehouse. He is the prime suspect in the terrible assault of one unfortunate combine advisor. "I was just trying to kil... I mean trying to help an injured Eli Vance up, when DOG pounced on me from a hole in the roof," stated the advisor known as unit 05284, "he rode me like a [untranslateable word] and punched me in my central processing core. It was quite humiliating and painful." He managed to knock DOG off and barely escape with his dignity. The corpse of Eli Vance was found at the crime scene aswell and it is believed that DOG murdered him in attempt to hide the evidence. That charge is currently being investigated, but progress is slow as any attempt made to try and question DOG is met with a series of angry beeps and violent attack. Fortunatley, unit 05284 is recovering nicely and should be able to fly again in no time. The advisor sent us off with this serious quote, aswell as some complimentary beatings, "I feel much safer with that maniac of the streets."

 

[Cavalry]

One alive after horrible invasion
City 8 citizens fell victim to a headcrab invasion last night at 10:35PM.The citizens were unruly and to heavily armed for even Combine Elite soldiers to handle and a decision was made to launch headcrabs.There was massive chaos in the streets as rocket shells pounded the streets.One man was crushed by a headcrab shell.As the pod doors opened,Fast headcrabs spilled out and began zombifying the citizens.At this moment,authorities are only aware of one survivor,but are not sure who it is.

 

[Mr.JaredMulero]

More Freak zombie coverage
Today a disaster has occured in City 17 labs.There has been a freak zombine outbreak.You heard right: FREAK ZOMBINES!!!!! To stop this horrible out break,the survivors have barricaded themselves in a libary.Even as I type this,a Freak zombine is tearing apart 50 striders with its bare hands.I think I feel a Freak headcrab...OH SHI-