Whatever happened to jokes?

[Greatgat]

What do you call a blue circle?

An orange triangle in disguise.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?

They keep falling out through the holes in his hands.

What do Eskimoes and Zip-Lock bags have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

HA!

 

[Kamikazie]

One day the Pope is coming to America in his Limo and he said to the driver, "Why don't you let me drive for once."

The driver thinks to him self, "Well I can't say no to this guy, he's the pope." So the driver pulls over and they change

places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while the driver taps on the

window and tells the Pope, "slow down a bit, you might get pulled over."

The Pope says, "ahhh, don't worry about it, I'm the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast.

After a few moments he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop

sees the Pope and says, "oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute."

The Pope says, "sure"

The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "guys I just pulled over some one really important."

They ask who, "The President?."

"No more important."

"The president of another country."

"No more important."

"An ambassador."

"No even more important."

"Well who is it."

"I don't know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."

 

[Kamikazie]

well i have a riddle that you guys might like


This guy living on the 20th floor in an apartment building got up early each morning to go to work in a downtown store. He always went into the elevator on the 20th floor and rode down to the entrance (1st floor). When he came home he always rode the elevator from the entrance and up to the 8th floor. He walked out of the elevator and walked the stairs up to his apartment on the 20th floor.

Why didn't he take the elevator all the way up to his apartment?

Spoiler

NO CHEATING YOU CHEATER

POST YOUR ANWSERS!

 

[LittleB]

Spoiler

NO CHEATING YOU CHEATER

lol @ this bit

 

[xcellerate]

Ever hear about the French kamikaze pilot?
--27 successful missions

What's brown and sticky?
--a stick

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
--cause if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels

That’s pretty much the extent of my non raciest, non sexist, non dead baby jokes. Freedom of speech my ass.

 

[Kamikazie]

What's brown and sticky?
--a stick

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

hmm...

 

[Greatgat]

hmm...

Whoops, didn't read through the entire thing. Well, at least it wasn't my only joke. That would have been embarrassing.

edit: Wait, I was first! I win!

 

[Murray_H]

What's brown and sticky?

Smokers' phlegm.

 

[LittleB]

What's brown and sticky?

My pen0r.

 

[Fliko]

well i have a riddle that you guys might like


This guy living on the 20th floor in an apartment building got up early each morning to go to work in a downtown store. He always went into the elevator on the 20th floor and rode down to the entrance (1st floor). When he came home he always rode the elevator from the entrance and up to the 8th floor. He walked out of the elevator and walked the stairs up to his apartment on the 20th floor.

Why didn't he take the elevator all the way up to his apartment?

POST YOUR ANWSERS!

He was a midget.
He couldn't reach the 20th floor button in the elevator, someone else was usually with him.
Man, everyone's jokes are so old.
I guess I have to post one though.

Ok...
Here I go...
..
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Spoiler

To get to the other side!

Seriously now.

You are standing in front of a room with one lightbulb inside of it. You cannot see if it is on or off. Outside the room there are 3 switches in the off positions. You may turn the switches any way you want to. You stop turning the switches, enter the room and know which switch controls the lightbulb. How?

Spoiler

You turn 2 switches "on" and leave 1 switch "off" and wait about a minute. Then enter the room, but just before you enter, turn one switch from "on" to "off". Once in the room, feel the lightbulb - if it is warm, but off, it has to be the last switch you turned off. If it is on, it has to be the switch left on. If it is cold and is off, it has to be the switch you left in the off position.

 

[dream431ca]

fuzzy wuzzy was a bear.
fuzzy wuzzy had no hair.
if fuzzy wuzzy wasnt fuzzy,
was he bare?

shoot me now

LOL!! God that made my laugh sooo hard ..I have no idea why..my eyes are watering...probably from the last sentence. "Shoot me now".

 

[bizzy420]

at a presidential debate, its was hilary clintons turn to speak.
as she got on stage, the crowd started to applaud.

Hilary waited about 5 minutes for the crowd to calm down. when it was dead quiet,
she lifted up her skirt and said "NO MORE BUSH"

 

[strider rider]

oh oh i got one

a blond has a new sports can and shes out for a drive and on that drive she cuts off a trucker and he signals her to pull over so she does he gets out of his truck pull some chalk out of his pocket and makes a circle on the ground and tells the blond to stand in it she does so then he goes to her car and pulls out a knife and cuts up her seats he turns around and sees the blond with a grin on her face

he gets angry and goes to his truck and gets a bat and smashes every window he turns around and she smiling

he is starting to get peaved and pulls out his knife and cuts her tires and turns around and shes gigaling so he get so peaved he goes to his truck and pulls out a can of gas and pors it on her car and turns around and she is trying to keep a straight face so he says WHAT IS SO F***ING FUNNY!!!!!! and the blond says

Spoiler

while you weren't looking i steped out the the circle 4 times

 

[strider rider]

whats the differance between michael jakson and a plastic bag

Spoiler

ones is made of plastic and dangerous to children and the other you put your lunch in

 

[Pressure]

Jokes for the most part are usually very unfunny and always have been.