15 answers to Creationist Nonsense - Scientific American

[Saturos]

Im sorry, but my house is more likely to struck by lighting 10 times in succession on this nice day, than for Jesus to have said any of that crap.

^This.

 

[Jintor]

I checked; the John 15:6 and Matthew 10:34 - 40 at the least are in the King James Bible. Doesn't mean Jesus said them (or whether he even existed or not, etc, etc) but it is definitely in the Bible.

 

[Solaris]

I hate it when people say God is extremely vague and open to interpritation. No it isn't. It's very clear what the bible says and it's very clear it's ludicrous. It's not my fault you believe in stupid bullshit.

 

[Absinthe]

Im sorry, but my house is more likely to struck by lighting 10 times in succession on this nice day, than for Jesus to have said any of that crap.

Prove it, buster!

 

[carrera]

Well really the seven days are just more open to interpretation where as "Penis never touch penis!" is pretty blunt.

So that's how it works?

 

[Absinthe]

"Was the earth created in seven days? No... This is a wonderful story that was told to the people in the desert in order to distract them from the fact that they did not have air conditioning." - Lewis Black

 

[Adrik_Senturu]

A professor was teaching a biology course about evolution. His student stood up and said "evolution is not real" and the teacher said "But what about adaptation" and the student said "yeah that's real" and the teacher said "they're the same thing" and the student said "fuuuuuuuck"

 

[Saturos]

I hate it when people say God is extremely vague and open to interpritation. No it isn't. It's very clear what the bible says and it's very clear it's ludicrous. It's not my fault you believe in stupid bullshit.

Your spelling is not up for interpretation either.

 

[Shift]

Prove it, buster!

Well I obviously cant, all I can do is speculate that a man that early on the Bible, said to be son of God, tells of all the good deeds he did despite his obvious crappy lifestyle, only to be so malicious of none believers and condem people to death, it makes absolutely no sense. He is himself, in those words, is contradicting the faith he pretty much started, he would not have had all the followers he had at the time, had he had been so contradicting of himself.

 

[CptStern]

Well really the seven days are just more open to interpretation where as "Penis never touch penis!" is pretty blunt.

if its so blunt why dont christians carry it out as it says in the bible?

"If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads." - Leviticus 20:13

why dont christians put gays to death? ..why do Christians point to the first line to justify their stance on homosexuality yet convienently ignore the second line? this is a clear commandment from god I dont see how that can be interpreted as anything else. this is a clear example of christians picking and choosing aspects of their faith to suit their agenda

god destroyed an entire city because of penis love; Sodom and Gomorrah, that's pretty clear cut



ok so maybe it's open to interpretation what to do about homosexuality, lets again turn to the bible:

A difficulty in interpreting Leviticus is that Hebrew, Greek and other relevant languages may have been ambiguously or incorrectly rendered into English. Thus the word translated as "detestable" (often also translated as "abomination"), has a different meaning in Biblical Hebrew than in English. (See: Abomination (Bible) ). In Biblical terms, "abomination" simply signifies that which is forbidden or unclean. Likewise the phrase translated as "do not have sexual relations" ("lo tishkav") in these passages literally means "do not lie down with". In other passages (e.g., Genesis 19:34; Exodus 22:16; 22:19 and many others) to "know" or "lie [down] with" is a euphemism for sexual intercourse (whether heterosexual or homosexual).

that's pretty open to interpretation, that could easily mean do not sleep with your male friend/brother/compatriot as a way to stop the spread of genital crabs or some other male predominant communicable disease or it could mean "playing hide the salami with your same sex friend is frowned upon because you may get spooge on the end of your dick


so it's either open to interpretation or it's clear cut commandments: kill gays or just make sure they clean their dicks after sex



if you look to the bible it's pretty clear when it comes to homophobes

but I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. - Matthew 5:22

so all christians are going to hell



http://www.indegayforum.org/news/show/27000.html|
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bible_and_homosexuality#Genesis_19:_Sodom_and_Gomorrah
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bible_and_homosexuality#Analysis_of_the_Hebrew_text
http://www.bible.ca/s-homo=sin.htm

And the bible says nothing on ordaining women.

the apostles were male: "go forth and spread the word" didnt reach female ears so they were excluded from priesthood yet here we are more than 2000 years later and nothing has changed ..I mean closeted/self loathing homoesexuals and pedophiles are allowed to be ordained yet women are not?

 

[Jintor]

Your spelling is not up for interpretation either.

Either a red herring, or a lame attempt at humour. Your pick!

Well I obviously cant, all I can do is speculate the fact that a man that early on the Bible I said to be son of God, and tells of all the good deeds he did despite his obviously crappy lifestyle, only to be so malicious of none believers and condem people to death, it makes absolutely no sense. He is himself, in those words, is contradicting the faith he pretty much started, he would not have had all the followers he had at the time, had he had been so contradicting of himself.

I didn't understand this, the wording was confusing.

 

[Saturos]

why arent gays put to death by christians ..why do they point to the first line to justify their stance on homosexuality yet convienently ignore the second line? thi sis a clear commandment from god I dont see how that can be interpreted as anything else

...and I command better grammar and/or typing skills from you.

Supposedly, the reason christians 'conveniently' ignore that second line is because it's from the Old Testament, meaning before Jesus died for our original sin, which almost every person 'died' the 'ultimate death' unless they follow the commandments to the letter.

Either a red herring, or a lame attempt at humour. Your pick!

Can I suggest a third opinion? Like a backhanded bitchslap?

 

[CptStern]

...and I command better grammar and/or typing skills from you.

Supposedly, the reason christians 'conveniently' ignore that second line is because it's from the Old Testament, meaning before Jesus died for our original sin, which almost every person 'died' the 'ultimate death' unless they follow the commandments to the letter.

that makes no sense

 

[Azner]

then why do christians take a strict bible interpretation when condemning homosexuality? or marriage or ordaining of women (granted that's a catholic specific thing) you cant pick and choose which parts of the bible is open to interpretation and which are not

Because Genesis was not written down and could have been a parable while the commandments were dated but to you might not be real but we believe in that.
I don't know. Forums calling for a theologian

 

[Shift]

I didn't understand this, the wording was confusing.

Sorry it was a bit odd on a re-read, edited it

 

[Saturos]

that makes no sense

Then why are you making a criticism about something you don't understand? To be fair however, I'm no theologist either, and therefore I shouldn't be making any criticisms myself, but at least try to understand what the Bible is trying to say before coming to any conclusions. Whether your an atheist that thinks it's all a load of crap or not.

 

[Jintor]

Saturos you douche, he's saying that what you said makes no sense.

 

[Saturos]

Saturos you douche, he's saying that what you said makes no sense.

Quick, let's see how fast you can provide a link for the meaning of 'douche'.

 

[Azner]

I checked; the John 15:6 and Matthew 10:34 - 40 at the least are in the King James Bible. Doesn't mean Jesus said them (or whether he even existed or not, etc, etc) but it is definitely in the Bible.

To understand the story you have to read the book, not just little parts. No flames or anything <3

Those who do not believe in Jesus will be cast into a fire to be burned. John 15:6

Those who bear bad fruit will be cut down and burned "with unquenchable fire." Matthew 3:10, 12

Not as in humans would be cast and burned into a furnace or a campfire or an oven. Those who do not believe after death would not enter paradise but be cast into a fire to be burned.

Also if anyone wants to go "STOP SPREADING YOUR BULLSHIT. Aint my fault. Fag. Stop telling us your bullshit". I will clarify now that i am not spreading my faith i am just giving you our POVs and interpretations. Dibs i get flamed by stern

 

[Jintor]

Quick, let's see how fast you can provide a link for the meaning of 'douche'.

...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douche

Those who do not believe after death would not enter paradise but be cast into a fire to be burned.

You don't think that's kinda... a little bad by itself?

 

[Azner]

Seven minutes Jintor.

 

[Jintor]

I'm more amazed he didn't know what douche meant.

The douche.

/EDIT and I took seven minutes because I wasn't refreshing this thread like a jibbering monkey with a hard-on for more of Saturos's inane comments.

 

[PvtRyan]

Well, that still makes Jesus a giant douche for representing (or being one, Holy Trinity and all) a god that's so petty, cruel and sadistic that he would sentence a non-believer to eternal damnation.

 

[Saturos]

I'm more amazed he didn't know what douche meant.

The douche.

You get an 'F' for not providing a link in the time allotted.

 

[Solaris]

Im sorry, but my house is more likely to struck by lighting 10 times in succession on this nice day, than for Jesus to have said any of that crap.

I agree, becuase Jesus did not exist.

 

[Jintor]

You get an 'F' for not providing a link in the time allotted.

Dude. Seriously. What the ****.

You post about serious shit. You post about sematics, about religion, you post about your ****ing homophobia, you post about all this serious crap. And then you start to ****ing dick around, for no ****ing reason, then... why? Because you can? Because you're a bloody idiot?

What the shit Saturos.

What the effing shit.

 

[Saturos]

Dude. Seriously. What the ****.

You post about serious shit. You post about sematics, about religion, you post about your ****ing homophobia, you post about all this serious crap. And then you start to ****ing dick around, for no ****ing reason, then... why? Because you can? Because you're a bloody idiot?

What the shit Saturos.

What the effing shit.

/EDIT and I took seven minutes because I wasn't refreshing this thread like a jibbering monkey with a hard-on for more of Saturos's inane comments.

I love you too Jintor.

...and yes, I'm a tad eccentric. Please excuse me.

 

[Shift]

I agree, becuase Jesus did not exist.

I think he definately existed, but didnt do all the things the Bible said he did, like turn rocks into bread or whatever it was, think they were just metaphors for morally driven stories in the teachings of christianity.

 

[Cormeh]

Quick, let's see how fast you can provide a link for the meaning of 'douche'.

There was no alloted time indicated.

WAIT, WHATS THIS ABOUT JEWS?

 

[Jintor]

...and yes, I'm a tad eccentric. Please excuse me.

There's a time, and a mother-****ing place.

 

[Solaris]

Christopher Hitchens owns all the bible lovers in this little clip from a debate with his brother:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=M5cxwq6QK7o

 

[CptStern]

Because Genesis was not written down and could have been a parable while the commandments were dated but to you might not be real but we believe in that.
I don't know. Forums calling for a theologian

you believe in the commandments? post which of the 10 commandments that says "thou shall not bury your burritto in someone elses cornhole"

here's some clear cut new testament jesus words to live by

"judge not lest ye be judged"

"Whatever you do for the least of these my brothers, you do it to me"

those that fail in treatiing all men as equals will recieve this:

'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

46"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

so if you condemn homosexuals you are burning in everlasting hell


http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+25:31-46

 

[Kula Meenur]

Derpy derpy derp Jeebus iz nawt reeeeeal aderp aderp. He waz nawt bawn at awl aderpy derp, wee arrr tawlerrunt awf awl wreliguns derpy derpy derp derpy derp... thay argh da wuns thet argh eegnawrunt aderp aderp...


:|


Derp.

 

[Solaris]

Stern, don't try and argue why theolocally christians should be liberals.

I like to do the opposite. I'd quite like to protest at my local anglican church about them letting women be bishops. If they are going to believe in the bible, I'm going to hold them to every word it says. The more biggoted they are the less likely people are going to follow them.

I demand my local christians start killing homosexuals.

 

[CptStern]

Then why are you making a criticism about something you don't understand?

no, I didnt understand how your statement answered the question as to why christians ignored the second line from that quote

To be fair however, I'm no theologist either, and therefore I shouldn't be making any criticisms myself, but at least try to understand what the Bible is trying to say before coming to any conclusions. Whether your an atheist that thinks it's all a load of crap or not.

ok ...I understand what the bible is saying:

If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

you shouldnt eat meat on the sabbath?

or is it "kill all gays"?

..perhaps it's all hidden code that with the right interpretation is actually a recipe for lentil soup, hey the bible is open to interpretation it could mean anything

 

[Saturos]

biggoted

Is that your favorite word or something? "bigot" this and "bigot" that. Your a bigot, I'm a bigot, we're all bigots! :dozey:

no, I didnt understand how your statement answered the question as to why christians ignored the second line from that quote




ok ...I understand what the bible is saying:



you shouldnt eat meat on the sabbath?

or is it "kill all gays"?

..perhaps it's all hidden code that with the right interpretation is actually a recipe for lentil soup, hey the bible is open to interpretation it could mean anything

Well, since you put it that way, but heh, I can't help but lol at the lentil soup recipe thing. Where the hell do you come up with this stuff Stern?

If I were to disagree with you completely and be all "biggoted" (lol, I said "biggoted"), you'd be like, "Geeze, there's no since even debating with you, this is akin to pounding my head on a brick repeatedly" or, "you know, you could just throw all those words in the air you just said and read them as they fall and they would make more since".

Ha, haahaaha. . Erm. :|

 

[theotherguy]

Not as in humans would be cast and burned into a furnace or a campfire or an oven. Those who do not believe after death would not enter paradise but be cast into a fire to be burned.

That's my point. Jesus is basically saying "Agree with me or be burned in a lake of fire forever!!!!" This is a major pillar or Christian doctrine.

 

[Solaris]

Is that your favorite word or something? "bigot" this and "bigot" that. Your a bigot, I'm a bigot, we're all bigots! :dozey:




Ha, haahaaha. . Erm. :|

No, you've just repeatedly shown yourself to be a racist, homophobe without an ounce of common sense or ability to conduct yourself in a reasonable and rational fashion.

 

[Saturos]

No, you've just repeatedly shown yourself to be a racist, homophobe without an ounce of common sense or ability to conduct yourself in a reasonable and rational fashion.

:|......

...since when did any you people conduct yourselves in a reasonable and rational fashion?

I'm sorry, I must've been looking for a website about "carnivals" this whole time.

 

[jondy]

The reason Saturos started dicking around was because he suddenly realised he was way out of his depth