Are you "the nice guy"?

[BabyHeadCrab]

So yeah, girls are pretty damn hard. Playing the nice guy it's damn hard to get some of the women you'd probably love to get to know better. Because in crowds of more falsely confident kids it's hard to get your point across, no matter how genuine it is.

Anyone ever had trouble being the tamer, more relaxed contestant in "the game", getting that one girl in the crowd, because they would rather play nice and not lay it on like a thick skulled egomaniac? I mean, hell, everyone is horny at uni age, and wants to hook up. But it sucks to have to wait for that one on one time, when things finally settle down from being a contest - into actually getting to know each other without interference.

Not that I'm totally a wreck when it comes to being a socialite and picking up women, I just go through phases where I'd rather get to know women in a more personal way, and playing the game just takes too much effort. Anyone ever feel this way or am I in a senseless QQ fest worthy of bannage?

 

[Solaris]

You might find the material at www.fastseduction.com useful, especially the forums. Some of it's a bit silly, but the general principles are pretty good.

With regards to the 'nice guy' thing I know what you mean. If your nice to girls, hide the fact you want to **** them, be polite ect. you're going to end up freinds. That's why the twats always get the girl, it's becuase they don't turn down the masculinity, girls want a man and if you need some help getting in that kind of mind set just check out the website above.

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

You might find the material at www.fastseduction.com useful, especially the forums. Some of it's a bit silly, but the general principles are pretty good.

With regards to the 'nice guy' thing I know what you mean. If your nice to girls, hide the fact you want to **** them, be polite ect. you're going to end up freinds. That's why the twats always get the girl, it's becuase they don't turn down the masculinity, girls want a man and if you need some help getting in that kind of mind set just check out the website above.

I guess I don't really want that mindset yet, sure I want to sleep with women - but when it comes down to things I just want a relationship and I'm not sure I could establish that being the aforementioned falsely confident type. Hookups are nice and fun and I'd like to have more, but I guess it just comes down to the fact that at times I'll be confident to score a hookup but most of the time I just sideline as the nice guy, without the confidence to just test out a girls reaction to physical flirting.

 

[Solaris]

I guess I don't really want that mindset yet, sure I want to sleep with women - but when it comes down to things I just want a relationship and I'm not sure I could establish that being the aforementioned falsely confident type. Hookups are nice and fun and I'd like to have more, but I guess it just comes down to the fact that at times I'll be confident to score a hookup but most of the time I just sideline as the nice guy.

Well if you want a relationship, you still have to pull first and then you can go back to being nice because she knows what your intentions are.

 

[jondy]

So yeah, girls are pretty damn hard. Playing the nice guy it's damn hard to get some of the women you'd probably love to get to know better. Because in crowds of more falsely confident kids it's hard to get your point across, no matter how genuine it is.

Just wait Speaking from experience I can safely say that if you're really judged on 'game' performance it says more about them than you. If you're after a long term, meaningful relationship then pointscoring shouldn't matter... an opportunity for meaningful conversation will come, and you and her can come to your own conclusions.

I've played pointscoring and had one-nighters, and every single one has sucked. I'm genuinely ashamed just to think about them, it makes my insides squirm.

 

[JNightshade]

Personally, I've found that I have most success when I'm a gentleman, but with an edge. Being nice doesn't mean you have to be a eunuch. Sure, you open doors for them and whatnot, but you have to know when to cock an eyebrow, when to wink just so, and when to lay it out flat- you want to be in them. Hard.

 

[<RJMC>]

I hav never suceed

maybe cuz I dont know what the womens want,but I know they dont want me

 

[Ennui]

Fast seduction is bullshit. That website is degrading, stupid, and all manner of other crap.

I'm a nice guy, and I get girls, it's all about being male while you're nice. JN says it well.

 

[Solaris]

Fast seduction is bullshit. That website is degrading, stupid, and all manner of other crap.

I'm a nice guy, and I get girls, it's all about being male while you're nice. JN says it well.

I don't know, the thing with the whole seduction scene imo is it's not so much the techniques that work, these things just give people the confidence to talk to girls I think.

I think Jnightshade hit the nail on the head, being nice helps, but you need to get across your intentions. I think we've all made the mistake of not making that clear early enough in a relationship and ending up with a freind when really we wanted more.

 

[ComradeBadger]

I don't do 'nice'

Theres a difference between being a doormat and being a decent lad.

 

[Pi Mu Rho]

Nope, I'm a bastard.

 

[Cole]

I have a girl. Good relationship too.

I would say i'm nice. But I am a very direct person. I don't try and beat around the bush. You can be nice, but be direct. If you got something to say don't hesitate; say it.

 

[CyberPitz]

I'm, sadly, a doormat, and I can only fix that on random occasions. I'm not a big doormat by any means, but it's there. I'm not saying I never get any girls, it's just extremely hard when there are the attractive, buff, assholes around constantly, and any and all girls just fall for that. I try to get a girls number, I'm just the creepy ugly guy that won't stop smiling around her....

Hell, any more, I'm up for just a one night stand, as long as it's female interaction
><

 

[CrazyHarij]

You might find the material at www.fastseduction.com useful, especially the forums. Some of it's a bit silly, but the general principles are pretty good.

With regards to the 'nice guy' thing I know what you mean. If your nice to girls, hide the fact you want to **** them, be polite ect. you're going to end up freinds. That's why the twats always get the girl, it's becuase they don't turn down the masculinity, girls want a man and if you need some help getting in that kind of mind set just check out the website above.

i wouldnt recommend it because you turn into a complete sexist, and people who are into it are completely obsessed with it. plus it doesn't work that well.

all you need is confidence. badger said something like, automatically assume that someone likes you when you approach them. it works great!

anyway, going from an introvert computer geek to a ultrasocial cool guy is hard work and takes time. start to get more comfortable with yourself, love yourself basically and you won't have to do anything else, the girls come afterwards.

 

[CptStern]

meh whatever role the situation calls for that leads to the most success

 

[Asknoone]

I don't put on the la-de-da nice stuff.

 

[Absinthe]

Not really. I don't really put on an act for anybody. Obviously, you don't break wind or be as disgusting as you might be when you're with "the dudes", but that's a given.

I'm quite sarcastic and I say a lot of vile things for a lark. I don't have much of a desire to play a part in the game, but when mutual chemistry arises, I just go with it.

Being a twat obviously works, as I've observed countlessly. But the targets of such machismo have always been people that I'd gladly screw, but never enter a relationship with. If you want to avoid being the "cuddle bitch", just put on an edge.

 

[Beerdude26]

I've had plenty of hits on me during parties but I never returned the favour (not because I didn't notice, mind you ). A one-night stand just really doesn't feel like my thing. I feel dirty just even thinking about it. I prefer getting to know the person first before getting in them. Several people here will think I'm nuts, but I respect your way of getting booty, so please do the same.

 

[ComradeBadger]

i wouldnt recommend it because you turn into a complete sexist, and people who are into it are completely obsessed with it. plus it doesn't work that well.

all you need is confidence. badger said something like, automatically assume that someone likes you when you approach them. it works great!

anyway, going from an introvert computer geek to a ultrasocial cool guy is hard work and takes time. start to get more comfortable with yourself, love yourself basically and you won't have to do anything else, the girls come afterwards.

glad it works for you too matey

I'm wondering what you mean by 'falsely confident' - I'm confident, but I've got good reason to be - as far as I'm concerned, I'm a good looking lad, and a quality person

[About getting to know someone first: Fair enough, it's just in my world things seem to happen very fast, especially the sleeping with me part, even with girls who tend to wait..]

How can you love anyone else if you don't love yourself first?

 

[Kester^]

Badger is right, the quickest way to get any girl is to love youself first. Whether that goes to the extreme of knowing you are gods gift to women or just that you know girls are attracted to you, the confidence that it gives is what will get you the girls you want.

I'm attractive, but nowhere near the looks of a model, but I get the girls I want, because I'm confident, can laugh at myself and can make a girl feel at ease.

And like Absinthe, being sarcastic and saying lewd/vile things actually works well. You know instantly that way if anything is going to happen. If you are lewd (but not in a creepy way) and they stay around you are in there, if they walk away it was never meant to be.

Over all though confidence and the ability to be able to make a girl feel at ease are the most important things. If you believe you can get the girl 9 times out of 10 you will.

 

[CyberPitz]

Badger is right, the quickest way to get any girl is to love youself first. Whether that goes to the extreme of knowing you are gods gift to women or just that you know girls are attracted to you, the confidence that it gives is what will get you the girls you want.

I'm attractive, but nowhere near the looks of a model, but I get the girls I want, because I'm confident, can laugh at myself and can make a girl feel at ease.

And like Absinthe, being sarcastic and saying lewd/vile things actually works well. You know instantly that way if anything is going to happen. If you are lewd (but not in a creepy way) and they stay around you are in there, if they walk away it was never meant to be.

Over all though confidence and the ability to be able to make a girl feel at ease are the most important things. If you believe you can get the girl 9 times out of 10 you will.

Sadly I have a low self esteem. Though I usually hide it with the girls I like alot, and that doesn't work too well... ;(

 

[Que-Ever]

I don't have to play the nice guy, I am the nice guy. It's the chicks that I have to play.

 

[CyberPitz]

Around here, girls don't go for the nice guys *unless they are the fat ones or just the very few hotties..*

They usually go for the assholes..and I refuse to pretend to act like that to get a girl..not worth it imo.

 

[Ennui]

i wouldnt recommend it because you turn into a complete sexist, and people who are into it are completely obsessed with it. plus it doesn't work that well.

all you need is confidence. badger said something like, automatically assume that someone likes you when you approach them. it works great!

anyway, going from an introvert computer geek to a ultrasocial cool guy is hard work and takes time. start to get more comfortable with yourself, love yourself basically and you won't have to do anything else, the girls come afterwards.

I could have sworn you were one of the ones touting that site a year or so ago.

 

[CrazyHarij]

I could have sworn you were one of the ones touting that site a year or so ago.

yes, which makes me pretty qualified about my opinion

 

[cheddarrr]

I'm, sadly, a doormat, and I can only fix that on random occasions. I'm not a big doormat by any means, but it's there. I'm not saying I never get any girls, it's just extremely hard when there are the attractive, buff, assholes around constantly, and any and all girls just fall for that. I try to get a girls number, I'm just the creepy ugly guy that won't stop smiling around her....

Hell, any more, I'm up for just a one night stand, as long as it's female interaction
><

do not worry! we are gunna get of them pocket bikes. then we are going to the biker bar on mainstreet! its gunna be bitchin.. better bring your brass knuckles though.. lol

 

[CyberPitz]

do not worry! we are gunna get of them pocket bikes. then we are going to the biker bar on mainstreet! its gunna be bitchin.. better bring your brass knuckles though.. lol

Shit, I don't need brass knuckles...they leave marks. Fkn military strength pepper spray!

 

[Jintor]

I empathise with CyberPitz. *gets walked over*

 

[highlander]

What jintor said.

 

[99.vikram]

Sometimes people walk over me and I don't care.
At other times, when I feel pushed I hit them back with sarcastic jabs or straight out retribution.
I just cant seem to say NO in the usual way..

 

[Kester^]

You guys need to start using those things the hang below your dick.

 

[Danimal]

Legs?

 

[Kester^]

They don't hang, well unless you are some kind of floating freak.

 

[Danimal]

Oh, but I am!
*Back on topic >_>*

 

[CyberPitz]

You guys need to start using those things the hang below your dick.

I honestly don't see a reason to insult.

The reason I'm a doormat is because, mainly, I don't see the problem going on *Though after the relationship end, I do...* and just want to keep the relationship..thus we take what we get dished.

Beggars can't be choosers in this situation. If you can't get a girl often, if at all, and you have one....why not keep it for as long as possible if you're actually happy.

 

[CrazyHarij]

yeah but being a doormat isn't exactly going to extend the relationship. the reason everyone says "be edgy", "use your balls", is because girls dig it. they want someone who is confident of himself. you don't have to be macho "bad boy" etc (which fast seduction etc claims), but even girls i know who are into really sensitive guys don't like doormats, it's all about validating yourself and your opinions. you can be as sensitive as you like, but love yourself for who YOU are and what you want and need.

the girl you're with will just get bored if you suck up to her. seriously, pay some attention to yourself! she's not going to dislike you just because you disagree on something.

Beggars can't be choosers in this situation. If you can't get a girl often, if at all, and you have one....why not keep it for as long as possible if you're actually happy.

i just have to say this, this is a ****ing ridiculous outlook on life. you basically mean you're going to stick in a shit relationship just because you don't want to be alone? besides the fact that hating single life is multiplying your appearance of desperation, a shitty relationship is not something you want. it's twice as worse as being single and desperate. get comfortable with being single, focus on yourself for a start. a relationship is not about one of the peers constantly worrying about how they can extend the relationship. if you had a girlfriend who constantly treated you like she couldnt possibly deserve you and was really boring, constantly sucking up to you, worrying etc, you would get bored of it.

 

[Que-Ever]

I forgot to mention, that even though I'm the nice guy, I still sometimes lose girls to the jerks and assholes. But the thing that really gets me is, the girls know that they are with jerks and assholes.

 

[CrazyHarij]

they want excitement, especially in our ages.. they dont want someone to treat them like queens, they want someone who's mysterious, sexy, gives them one hell of a time

 

[CyberPitz]

they want excitement, especially in our ages.. they dont want someone to treat them like queens, they want someone who's mysterious, sexy, gives them one hell of a time

I'm starting to hit the age where I don't need to do that...some of the girls are looking for more of a permanent "marriage" thing...though I doubt they will say "no" to the mysterious/sexy thing.

 

[ComradeBadger]

What kind of age is that.. 30??

I forgot to mention, that even though I'm the nice guy, I still sometimes lose girls to the jerks and assholes. But the thing that really gets me is, the girls know that they are with jerks and assholes.

The question is, are they jerks and assholes because they get the girl?