Badger's emotional thread 1: Damn girl

ComradeBadger

ComradeBadger

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Right, for those who don't know, I've really liked a very close friend of mine for years... and a week or so ago, I told her how I felt, yet I worded it so she didn't say how she felt about me... and I really need to know, but she's my mate... and I'd really hate to lose her as a mate.


I'm not really asking for advice... but I'd like to hear your stories

Oh, and this is my 3005th post...
 
wow 3005 wow.

Topic: well I always ask girls that I love them and they are a pure of blabala, you know what I mean then I just ask her about what she feels.

I always ask girls do you love, like, me? if not stay friend with her.
 
I had the same problem two years ago with a girl: we've known each other for 5 years, went out together a lot when we had no dates. And one day I realized I was crazy about her, so I told her. And guess what? the next day we became a couple. Even though our fling ended this year, we remain on speaking terms and we're still good friends :)

I think you've done the right thing, she had to know. Now all you have to do is wait. Tear your hair out. And wait.
 
Yeah, sounds exactly like my situation, except, we never became a couple... the reason I didn't ask how she felt was to shield myself from probable failure. Hmmm

Funny, someones loved me before, and I didn't love the girl back... awkward to say the least.
 
Well I made the mistake of going out with a girl who had become a really good friend. Today we don't even talk nor see eachother anymore. If we would have remained "just" friend I bet we would still be talking.

She was my first girlfriend, we went out senior year. She was the first girl to ever really try and become my friend, get me to talk. Because before that I was a total outcast, always depressed and sh*t, didn't talk to anyone. I had been like that for several years. She some how opened me up and thus we became really good friends. Turning it into a relationship spoiled what we had, and I miss it.

I have no idea what she is doing now. The story is to long to go into but right now I have mixed emotions towards her, love her, hate her, and yet miss her. I havn't been in a relationship since, going on almost 2 years.

Life's a bitch, then you die.
 
Owch chu... ;(

Hmmm, I'm usually suspicious of girls that become friendly to me at parties, since i don't know what to do, do they just want to be mates? Or do they want something else? Example being this girl Anna, who I thought wanted me to be her mate, since we knew each other from ages ago.... turned out she just wanted to get me into bed.... :P (I didn't though, my mate fancied her )
 
Originally posted by mrBadger
Right, for those who don't know, I've really liked a very close friend of mine for years... and a week or so ago, I told her how I felt, yet I worded it so she didn't say how she felt about me... and I really need to know, but she's my mate... and I'd really hate to lose her as a mate.


I'm not really asking for advice... but I'd like to hear your stories

Oh, and this is my 3005th post...
Click to expand...

Don't ask her, she'll dissapoint you and you'll both end up not speaking.. she knows how you feel and thats enough for her to make a choice, worst thing you could do is push it further. I'm not an expert on how to get the girl, but im damn good at know what NOT to do :D, and pushing it is the wrong thing. I know its awful never knowing, but never knowing is much better than knowing for sure if she doesn't feel the same. Right now you have hope, if she doesn't feel the same and you get her to say so, you've lost that hope. If she likes you, you'll find out eventually :)

Besides, she may feel the same, and just have to think about it for a while (you know what women are like, they have to think about everything for ages and talk to their girlfriends about everything and its all soooo complicated for them :rolleyes: lol).. and im sure you'll be grinning far more if one day she just tells you she feels the same than if you pushed her into it somehow. There's more chance of you both perhaps getting together one day if you take it slow than if you put her on the spot to give you an answer.. they will normally say no even if they think yes, thats women for ya.. Don'tcha just luv em *grumbles* :D
 
Right now I have no ambitions for gaining interest from girls. I don't really care about my self appearance, right now I am who I want to be, I'm not going to take that extra step just to get a girl to look at me.
 
Badger,

I think you forget she has feelings too. She probably doesn't know what to do either. Do you truely grasp this aspect?

>> She's probably even more confused than you <<

Let this one sink in a little. Think about it. How can you expect answers from her, if you can't think of the answers yourself?

Find out if YOU are really sure about her. If you are, then you must go the whole nine yards.

NOTE OF ADVICE: watch out with advice coming from a forum on a gamingfansite. Nobody knows better about their own stuff than the persons themselves.
 
oh man more people have been in this situation then i imagined. i'd have to agree with most of what everyone has said.

"NOTE OF ADVICE: watch out with advice coming from a forum on a gamingfansite" ----> hahahaha...some of us are normal folk you know.

when you told her, how did she respond? did she know what you were telling her?

be sure about your feelings. i ended up jumping for a mate of mine and it didn't turn out nicely. i suddenly realised that i didn't care about her as a partner but preferred being mates. very awkward to have initiated the whole thing then realise oh shit she's not right. so be sure what you want. do you want sex? do you want to hang out? do you want to hang out like you normally do with her but have the option of getting physical? these things matter to a woman. she's probably thinking do i find him attractive, does he find me attractive, what does he want from me, what do i want from him. so finalise it with yourself first, then think about making a move. if you don't ask you don't get.
 
hehe, i likes this thread.

Every situation is different, but i'd say just go for it. all you'll be living your life like this forever, what if she like you too but its too awkward for her to say? you coming forward would be a big help.

I can say anything that means anything because i dont know the kind of relashionship you have and i doubt i could unless i meet you in person.
 
Lovers can never be friends. Its hard to be friends with ex-lovers and vica versa.
 
Originally posted by chu
I'd say just become gay.
Click to expand...

are you offering yourself? cos i can play cupid here and set you two up.
 
Look man, shall I call you a man? if so then the word MAN always defined by girls as an intellegent brian which have both courage and confidence to talk freely with girls and to protect them from third parties(3rd parties means other men want your girl).

so mrbadger I am sure you are a man but men have the above features, do you? I hop you do, if so then go to her and give it straight in her face. IIIIIIIIII LOOOOOOOVE YOU.
 
lol, many women I made love to. and they all told they love men to be both intelegent and confident. trust me on. women love men to have these specs.
 
lol, many women I made love to. and they all told they love men to be both intelegent and confident. trust me on. women love men to have these specs.
Click to expand...

I think you forget something here.
If you are the "intelligent and confident" type, you'll probably end up with a woman who likes those type of guys.
If you are the "sensitive romeo straight from Venice" type of guy, you'll end up accordingly with a woman who likes that type of guys.

Are you seeing the picture here?
(I'll just explain it for the non-intelligent types here: You'll probably be with a woman that matches with you)

Good luck Badger, and don't forget, even tho most of us are normal folk on this forum(btw thanks Dedalus for pointing that out, I wouldn't have noticed j/k), nobody knows better about their own stuff than ...
 
who?!??! stop keeping me in suspense man i must know!!!!
 
who?!??! stop keeping me in suspense man i must know!!!!
Click to expand...

... the persons themselves.


It's like this: you shouldn't go around asking people for advice when it's about matters of the heart. You see, every little story of our life has it's own twists and turns. You can't just take a random story and apply it to yourself. Your story is unique. And the answer must be obtained through a proces that is just as unique as your own life is. Make sure you make your own thoughts count the most when deciding things that are important to you.
 
i made a promise not to mention cheese ever again, but i'm so tempted.

badger what do you say to all this?
 
Is this forum becoming love-line or what?
Anywho, relationships are tough. I'd always be straightforward...thats the kinda person I'm attracted to anyway, so it works out.
 
Why can't women just have 1 brain cell. That way they would be half as smart as us men and possibly easier to understand.
 
why cant men have 1 brain cell, easy for the women.

why cant we just be sex-machines? well?
 
If you haven't heard anything from her in 2 days then walk away. I when I say walk away, I mean from the friendship also, just write her out of your life as a past chapter. If you've declared your feelings and she hasn't responded similarly then don't put yourself through any further emotional distress. Put it down to experience and move on. That probably sounds cold and callous, but I speak from experience here. It is a waste of time to hanker after women who aren't interested, because it is emotionally draining, and will eat away at your self esteem.
 
basically: shrug your shoulders and say "ahhhhhhhh f.uck it"
 
Hey, look, we've been really close mates for 5 years odd... and I don't want to throw that down the drain, shes always been there for me. Oh, and I had thought about my feelings for 4 months before telling her. I told her about a week ago, and I like being around her... and I know she has feelings mate, I know her really well... I've been there for her when shes been down...

Oh, and I don't want to put her on the spot... so I won't ask her :/
 
well if she deosn't like you just say ok then lets still be friends and act like it wasn't a big thing, then she cant get all hyper over it.
 
She hasn't gone hyper over it, thats the point, but I don't know becuase I never gave her a chance to say anything... ;(
 
eh? so you dont know if she likes you? ooo, tricky...

you dont want to go without her knowing your feelings but you dont want to nag her... your choice.
 
Well unless you're on a tight timetable or anything, play it by feel.
 
I'm on no timetable, I know she doesn't like anyone at the moment... She knows my feelings, and funnily enough... I now have a different reputation in my school: 'the quiet romantic' :P
 
Originally posted by mrBadger
Hey, look, we've been really close mates for 5 years odd... and I don't want to throw that down the drain, shes always been there for me. Oh, and I had thought about my feelings for 4 months before telling her. I told her about a week ago, and I like being around her... and I know she has feelings mate, I know her really well... I've been there for her when shes been down...

Oh, and I don't want to put her on the spot... so I won't ask her :/
Click to expand...

When faced with situations like this you have to think outside yourself. Whatever past you have with a person is irrelevant if you have no future together. Let me illustrate, say you'd been married for 5 years, but realised that you no longer loved the woman you married, would you stay together with her and suffer 20 years of unhappiness because of those 5?

When you talk about 5 years, you are refering to an emotional investment on your part, a great deal of which has probably been driven by the notion of what may happen in the future (daydreams, reverie we all have them). It seems clear from the fact that she hasn't responded in a week that she's rejected your advances, and it seems from what you have written that you know that also. I'm afraid to say that it is time to be bold and cut your losses before 5 years of yearning turns into 25 years of bitterness. Walk away from the table now. In the long term if you continue to hang around with her you'll find your self esteem gets badly beaten, especially when she gets a boyfriend.
 
Actually, for ages I was mates with her not becuase I fancied her, but becuase she was nice to me etc. Oh, and I wouldn't mind if she got a bf... I'd be happy that she's happy, and on my part it wasn't an advance... it was getting something off my chest, I even said that I didn't want to be more than mates...
 
youve tried, youve been rejected, you just dont know it. find someone else, (actually why should you do all the work) wait for someone to find you.
 
Eh? Why does everyone seem to think I tried for her... I explicitly told her that I didn't want anything to change, I just had feelings for her, and I love her as a mate, and would never want to be more than that... although I wish I'd tried.

Anyway, a lot of my friends, ones who know us both well think that we have a future, and that we'd be great together, but no-one knows how she feels on the matter :P
 
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