FrostedxB
Tank
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2009
- Messages
- 1,276
- Reaction score
- -2
That happened to me.
Really hard to make the "can we still be friends" thing to work after that.
Cookies and Cheating GFS
- Thread starter Adrien C
- Start date
That happened to me.
Really hard to make the "can we still be friends" thing to work after that.
PoeticRocker
Spy
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2004
- Messages
- 865
- Reaction score
- 0
I've done this approach before and believe me she won't like you at all after you invade her privacy. But the thing with me and my ex was we shared our email passwords as a sign of trust. Of course this is a stupid idea and we were young back then. With that said, I too wondered if she was cheating on me with another guy. I asked her about her friend she would talk to often and she would deny it. Still somehow I felt like she was lying to me. Eventually I felt I had to know, otherwise the rest of the time I invest with this girl will be a waste. During the time, the only logical choice for me was to check her email. So I did one night and what I discovered was what I feared all along. But I read more than what I wanted to, which was intimate emails to the guy she was cheating on me with. Afterwards I confronted her about it and we broke up.
It is manipulative to invade her privacy. But at the same, it's manipulative for her to lie to you. So really your faced with three options in that situation. One I think is the cowardly way, which is going through her emails and confronting her. The other is confronting her about it without going through her privacy. That way is more dignified. Then if you still feel she is lying to you, the best option would be to leave her. If she cares enough, she'll stop her charade. And if she doesn't, you get to walk away a truly dignified man.
If I could back then, I would have picked option 3. But life isn't meant to be that easy. All the best in your situation man.
It is manipulative to invade her privacy. But at the same, it's manipulative for her to lie to you. So really your faced with three options in that situation. One I think is the cowardly way, which is going through her emails and confronting her. The other is confronting her about it without going through her privacy. That way is more dignified. Then if you still feel she is lying to you, the best option would be to leave her. If she cares enough, she'll stop her charade. And if she doesn't, you get to walk away a truly dignified man.
If I could back then, I would have picked option 3. But life isn't meant to be that easy. All the best in your situation man.
VirusType2
Newbie
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2005
- Messages
- 18,189
- Reaction score
- 2
If I could do it all again, I would not give a crap if a girlfriend is cheating on me. I mean, I would, because that could mean she could fall for him and fall out with me. But on the other hand, so what? The alternative is that I would find out and leave her for cheating/seeing someone else. So either way, I lose the girl.
That's all that you really want in the first place, right? To be with her? Fiercely competing for a girl and I'll bet there's a good chance she will be boosted and leave both of the suitors for something better. She's going to go with whichever she chooses, ultimately.
Your job is to be the best you can and she should stick with you. It's not to threaten dudes, or investigate/threaten/stalk her - that's not the way to win her heart. I've had MUCH better results with girls when I am not jealous. In fact, they absolutely throw themselves at you.
It's not just jealousy that is the entire problem. It's the fact that you are coming on way too strong and women do not like that. All jealous people do it. People need space to breathe or you will suffocate them.
EDIT: I don't mean to suggest you should not care, or don't pay attention to her, because it is important to do so.
Look, a bit of jealousy is normal, and even shows you care, but you need to keep cool. Don't let it consume you. Get it out of your mind. People (her, her friends, her family, other guys) are going to see it as a weakness. Maybe you think you've found the perfect girl, maybe you think she's too good for you? Well, maybe she is, so don't clue everyone in! Compounding that, weakness is not a desirable quality either.
That's all that you really want in the first place, right? To be with her? Fiercely competing for a girl and I'll bet there's a good chance she will be boosted and leave both of the suitors for something better. She's going to go with whichever she chooses, ultimately.
Your job is to be the best you can and she should stick with you. It's not to threaten dudes, or investigate/threaten/stalk her - that's not the way to win her heart. I've had MUCH better results with girls when I am not jealous. In fact, they absolutely throw themselves at you.
It's not just jealousy that is the entire problem. It's the fact that you are coming on way too strong and women do not like that. All jealous people do it. People need space to breathe or you will suffocate them.
EDIT: I don't mean to suggest you should not care, or don't pay attention to her, because it is important to do so.
Look, a bit of jealousy is normal, and even shows you care, but you need to keep cool. Don't let it consume you. Get it out of your mind. People (her, her friends, her family, other guys) are going to see it as a weakness. Maybe you think you've found the perfect girl, maybe you think she's too good for you? Well, maybe she is, so don't clue everyone in! Compounding that, weakness is not a desirable quality either.
CptStern
suckmonkey
- Joined
- May 5, 2004
- Messages
- 10,315
- Reaction score
- 62
this is a little crazy. I mean what about self-respect? if you're calling it "cheating" obviously it bothers you. otherwise you'd be in an open relationship and it wouldnt be "cheating". so it's much worse to be the person who knows his SO is "cheating" on him yet does nothing because the alternative; being single, is not preferable to being stepped on. **** that
Similar threads
