Helplife2.net: First Kiss

Set up a video camera and then do what jerkasaur said, because it would be hilarious to see just how much that would fail.

When I was in my teens I used to use the wrestling trick. You start roughhousing and get into a situation where you're trying to pin each other, and you can tell she's actually trying. And then you let her pin you. And while you're both laying on the floor panting and sweating, you look into her eyes, and you kiss her. I don't think I ever had it fail.
 
Lol I love how people come in here and give him a step by step guide on kissing girls.


Yorick said:
Set up a video camera and then do what jerkasaur said, because it would be hilarious to see just how much that would fail.

When I was in my teens I used to use the wrestling trick. You start roughhousing and get into a situation where you're trying to pin each other, and you can tell she's actually trying. And then you let her pin you. And while you're both laying on the floor panting and sweating, you look into her eyes, and you kiss her. I don't think I ever had it fail.
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This has often lead to sex with me, he might get more than he bargained for! Do it! :D
 
Yorick said:
When I was in my teens I used to use the wrestling trick. You start roughhousing and get into a situation where you're trying to pin each other, and you can tell she's actually trying. And then you let her pin you. And while you're both laying on the floor panting and sweating, you look into her eyes, and you kiss her. I don't think I ever had it fail.
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You wrestled with her so you could get a good look in her eyes, I don't see why talking wouldn't do the job, it could also happen about anywhere. It's not always possible to wrestle with a girl in, say, a coffee house now is it?
I assume you're questioning the part where you just ask her if she wants a kiss hmm?
 
What I find hilarious and ironic about this thread is that, if the situation were reversed, and the girl was playing mind games on him to see if he was interested, you would be all up in arms about it. And here you are telling him to perform stupid tricks on her.

The only valid advice in this thread is the one to just talk to her about it.


Also jerkasaur, I really hope you were joking because honestly... that advice was downright silly.
 
jerkasaur said:
You wrestled with her so you could get a good look in her eyes, I don't see why talking wouldn't do the job, it could also happen about anywhere. It's not always possible to wrestle with a girl in, say, a coffee house now is it?
I assume you're questioning the part where you just ask her if she wants a kiss hmm?
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I wouldn't want to kiss a girl in a coffee house.
You just plain get women, don't you? :rolleyes:
 
Remus said:
What I find hilarious and ironic about this thread is that, if the situation were reversed, and the girl was playing mind games on him to see if he was interested, you would be all up in arms about it. And here you are telling him to perform stupid tricks on her.

The only valid advice in this thread is the one to just talk to her about it.


Also jerkasaur, I really hope you were joking because honestly... that advice was downright silly.
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No one is trying to play mind games just to get a kiss here, the way I get it, he wants it, she wants it, they can't (or at least still haven't) found a way to go for it, now he wants to just do it. I also think he should just talk to her about it, or ask her if she wants it or not, but how do you get to the point where you can actually ask the girl if she wants a kiss or not? You can't just go up to her and say "hey here's a question, do you want me to kiss you?" and expect a yes from her, at least not most of the time, because she would feel uncomfortable, shy, etc. . What I said about guessing her number could be done in millions and millions of other ways, and for a single purpose only: to create a moment where she feels comfortable and connected to you, so she won't feel afraid of doing what she might even herself want to do.

Yorick said:
I wouldn't want to kiss a girl in a coffee house.
You just plain get women, don't you? :rolleyes:
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I'm saying it could happen anywhere, anytime if you know what you're doing. The only reason a guy would not want to first kiss a women in a coffee house is if he thinks he can't do it, wouldn't you agree?
 
Listen, fishdude. You guys are what, like 18? Most 18 year old girls haven't a clue what they're doing. Trust me. I was one not too long ago. So all this stuff about reading signs and playing mind games and stuff is nonsense. You can't play mind games with somebody who doesn't know their own mind.

Just to give you an idea of what's happening inside her head, here's what was usually happening inside my head when I was that age:

Oooooh I think I'm kind of into MaleFriend#1 or at least he looks kind of handsome in this light, I wonder if he's into me but if I get going with MaleFriend#1 that means that I can't get with MaleFriend#2 who I've had a crush on for ever and ever and everandeverandever, and anyhow what would FemaleAcquaintance#1 think of me if I did that, cos she's been friends with MaleFriend#1 since like the dawn of time and she'll probably just think I'm leading him on and hate me and tell all the other girls in the class how mean I am and maybe I am just leading him on because maybe I really do like MaleFriend#2 better and this was so much easier for me when we just played computer games together and nobody tried to kiss anyone.

Maybe she doesn't know what she wants. Maybe she's not confident enough yet to just go with the flow of things. So give her time. And be honest with her.
 
Yorick said:
Set up a video camera and then do what jerkasaur said, because it would be hilarious to see just how much that would fail.

When I was in my teens I used to use the wrestling trick. You start roughhousing and get into a situation where you're trying to pin each other, and you can tell she's actually trying. And then you let her pin you. And while you're both laying on the floor panting and sweating, you look into her eyes, and you kiss her. I don't think I ever had it fail.
Click to expand...

Actually this is similar to how I first kissed my current girlfriend of 1 year (jan 4th). Instead of wrestling, it was tickle fights. Then I just tickled close to her face, brought mine closer, and BAM. smootchie smootchie! Then that moved into a little of the old in-out in-out.

Really didn't expect such a trick to work with being how old she was and also me, but hey: what works, works.
 
I like that this has descended into "My proven technique to get womenz is better than yours"

The flow. Go with it.
 
Yorick said:
Set up a video camera and then do what jerkasaur said, because it would be hilarious to see just how much that would fail.

When I was in my teens I used to use the wrestling trick. You start roughhousing and get into a situation where you're trying to pin each other, and you can tell she's actually trying. And then you let her pin you. And while you're both laying on the floor panting and sweating, you look into her eyes, and you kiss her. I don't think I ever had it fail.
Click to expand...

GIVE HER THE CHAIR

ProWrestlingChair.jpg
 
KiplingsCat said:
Listen, fishdude. You guys are what, like 18? Most 18 year old girls haven't a clue what they're doing. Trust me. I was one not too long ago. So all this stuff about reading signs and playing mind games and stuff is nonsense. You can't play mind games with somebody who doesn't know their own mind.

Just to give you an idea of what's happening inside her head, here's what was usually happening inside my head when I was that age:

Oooooh I think I'm kind of into MaleFriend#1 or at least he looks kind of handsome in this light, I wonder if he's into me but if I get going with MaleFriend#1 that means that I can't get with MaleFriend#2 who I've had a crush on for ever and ever and everandeverandever, and anyhow what would FemaleAcquaintance#1 think of me if I did that, cos she's been friends with MaleFriend#1 since like the dawn of time and she'll probably just think I'm leading him on and hate me and tell all the other girls in the class how mean I am and maybe I am just leading him on because maybe I really do like MaleFriend#2 better and this was so much easier for me when we just played computer games together and nobody tried to kiss anyone.

Maybe she doesn't know what she wants. Maybe she's not confident enough yet to just go with the flow of things. So give her time. And be honest with her.
Click to expand...

what the f*ck is this bullshit.

if the girl took a ****ing hackysack from your mouth with her own goddamn mouth, and then goes up and pretends its weird when you swoop in for a smooch, she's playing you. with this current situation, maybe there was some confusion. but if she pulls that shit again, especially if youre totally up front about it, then shes just f*cking playing you and you need to drop that shit like its a sack filled with uranium. in iraq. you need to pull out like obama.

its not OH SO CONFUSED teenage behavior, its manipulative teenage behavior which is super extremely duper common. regardless of if the intent was intentionally malicious, it ends up being just that. malicious bullshit. maybe later in life she can justify how shittily she led on some dude who was into her, but all you need to know is its either on, or its not.

and if its not, get the f*ck out oh my god get out now ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 
See what you want to do is get like a super intimate vibe going, maybe put on some LMFAO party hits or hang raw animal meat from the rafters, something that says 'I have my own sitar and could serenade you all night long.' Then once she's real comfy you move in close and pull a quarter from behind her ear, then look longingly into her eyes and say all suave, "I love a woman who can dispense currency from her sideface." Then casually unhinge your jaw and swallow her entire head whole.

100% of the time, it works none of the time.
 
jerkasaur said:
First you have to understand the fact that if you don't kiss her, or get closer to her, you'll get in the "just friends" zone, and you don't want that. Build the self confidence you need and go along.

Now, for your question,
If you're Sure she'd go along with it (you have to read the signs, make sure you know she's into you before going along with this, or you might fail):

Have an ordinary talk, then tell her you want to show her something cool and sit down with her in a place you think she'd be most comfortable (you don't want to kiss her in front of too many people or in a place that's too crowded and too noisy and so on, she has to feel comfortable) , sit in front of her, tell her to look straight into your eyes and think of a number between 1 and 10, tell her to focus hard on the number while you try to guess it (it's usually 7),
if it's 7 she'll be amazed, you can say "wow! what are the odds? I thought I felt something there, guess I was right" and then you simply ask her "do you want to kiss me?". Possible answers:

-No (less than 10%) --> "I didn't say you can, geez!" (in a joking way, then act normal, you've crashed and burned)
-Maybe (most the time) --> "Well then let's find out", then you kiss her
-Yes --> You gently kiss her, don't push too hard, you don't want to choke her now

Her number might not be 7 but it's still alright, it's the looking deep in the eyes part that makes this work, not guessing the number.
This should work if you really think she wants you but you just can't find a way to kiss her.
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What in the actual **** is this?

Bad^Hat said:
See what you want to do is get like a super intimate vibe going, maybe put on some LMFAO party hits or hang raw animal meat from the rafters, something that says 'I have my own sitar and could serenade you all night long.' Then once she's real comfy you move in close and pull a quarter from behind her ear, then look longingly into her eyes and say all suave, "I love a woman who can dispense currency from her sideface." Then casually unhinge your jaw and swallow her entire head whole.

100% of the time, it works none of the time.
Click to expand...

100% working strategy, gets em' juicy :V!!11
 
Lunge at her with the angriest face possible, grab her with your big hands and then headbutt her until you're both unconscious.

If you wake up before she does - Guaranteed in the pooper action.
 
I showed my girlfriend this entire thread and BadHats posts made her laugh for a couple minutes straight.

This thread is all you need for poon.
 
That's the ticket. Make her laugh until her mouth is so tired she won't be able to bite back!
 
Yuri said:
its not OH SO CONFUSED teenage behavior, its manipulative teenage behavior which is super extremely duper common.
Click to expand...
So basically you think girls are out to get you? I bet you'd make an awesome boyfriend.
 
Yuri said:
what the f*ck is this bullshit.
Click to expand...

This "bullshit" is personal experience, my friend. Girls aren't evil supergeniuses. We're often just as confused as boys. But if we **** up, or get scared, or change our minds, we get completely vilified for it. And that's bullshit too. Because usually we didn't mean it. This concept of "leading someone on", I've never once heard of a girl doing that. Why would we do that? For kicks? Is that what boys think of us, that we just **** with them for fun? I don't see the funny side of it, and I've never known a girl who did. We all make mistakes. That's usually all this stuff is, people misunderstanding each other and making mistakes.

Fishdbaz, this girl may be "playing you" but that, in my opinion, is a highly unlikely and somewhat random conclusion to form. Why torment yourself by presuming that she hates you and wants to hurt you? It's a highly pessimistic approach to take to the situation. I say, keep trying, but take things gently and slowly. Give her space, but above all else be honest and transparent. It's the least confusing approach to take.
 
I think you're right, Kipling. This girl does not seem like a cruel or manipulative person.

I'm going to just talk with her. I'm going to be honest with her and try to get her to be honest with me. It's a bit frustrating though, because for the past few days I either haven't been able to communicate with her in person or I haven't been able to talk in private.

And by the way, I do apologize for this thread dragging on. When I originally posted it I thought my only problem was that I just needed some motivation and a bit of advice.
 
ríomhaire said:
So basically you think girls are out to get you? I bet you'd make an awesome boyfriend.
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I do, thanks!

I was a bit drunk and feisty when I posted that so obviously there are... exaggerations.

But still...

KiplingsCat said:
...and I've never known a girl who did...
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Do you really not think teenagers are capable of being jerks? Not just girls, although in my own experience, yes, lots of girls (especially teenaged ones) do manipulate people by skating the line of friendship/relationship. It's pretty common, actually. And her acting confused about a kiss (I can't think of a situation where it wasn't obvious, especially if the hackysack wasn't involved this time :dork:) seemed like a possible warning sign.

All I really mean to get across is: if you do follow through with talking to her and she turns you down, don't continue to be flirty, because that's a shitty situation to be in. Sometimes people do take advantage of a flirty relationship for attention, it's a thing.

im so afraid of girls though guys ohmygod cooties and evil plans
 
My final post in this thread.

So I decided "screw talking. Why talk when I can SING?" and made a stupid little rock opera out of Styx karaoke songs with modified lyrics explaining what happened and how I felt. My logic was that even if she didn't like me we could both walk away from this thing laughing.

Before I could even show her the video though, I saw on Facebook that she's now in a relationship with some guy whose favourite hobbies include "knife fighting" and "magnums".

Well, at least I can say that making the video made me feel a bit better.

And why did I add in this unnecessary post? Because, **** it, I'm hoping for sympathy from invisible people I don't know.
 
fishdbaz said:
My final post in this thread.

So I decided "screw talking. Why talk when I can SING?" and made a stupid little rock opera out of Styx karaoke songs with modified lyrics explaining what happened and how I felt. My logic was that even if she didn't like me we could both walk away from this thing laughing.

Before I could even show her the video though, I saw on Facebook that she's now in a relationship with some guy whose favourite hobbies include "knife fighting" and "magnums".

Well, at least I can say that making the video made me feel a bit better.

And why did I add in this unnecessary post? Because, **** it, I'm hoping for sympathy from invisible people I don't know.
Click to expand...

I think [strike]we'd[/strike] you'd feel a lot better if you uploaded said video.
 
If it makes you feel any better the first girl I kissed proceeded to makeout with a guy she barely knew because of my meek and unassertive demeanour at the time. **** it -- you'll find someone more worth your time.
 
Dont talk to her anymore.
 
Challenge her new boyfriend to a knife fight.

Lesson learnt, make a move before Testiclese takes your woman.
 
I'd let her go because I dislike sluts. What's important is you learn something from this. While attraction may be from looks, you should get to know the real person. And it's probably better to do that before you stick your tongue down her throat and it turns out she has mouth herpes.
 
I can send people to the new boyfriend's house. Baaad people.
 
It's still not too late to talk..

who am I kidding, I know how difficult this is I struggled all through high school and then right at the end I got one without making any effort at all, shits weird bro. Maybe it just isn't meant to be, in some weird ass mystical way. Beocme one with your inner Buddha.
 
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