How many 5 year olds can you fight?

[Ravioli]

Inspired by a 3 year old thread at pcgamer.se forum.

How many 5 year olds can you fight at the same time? Your in a...lets say a school gym (basketball court size) and all the entrances are spewing in small 5 year olds. You are in the middle with anything at hand. A baseball bath(EDIT:BAT..cant believe i spelled it that way), or a gun, or a knife, or a sword, or anything in your imagination. What would you do? Use the surroundings.

Thinking realistically, i would take down about maybe 30-50 till i get to tired when all of the kids jump me and eat my internal organs. I would first use a sith (cant spell, those things that Death uses to cut stuff) and simply swing it wildly around me. Then for backup have a knife.

 

[Raziaar]

Three. You grow up with three little rambunctious cousins and you realize their true potential for devastation.

 

[Ravioli]

Three. You grow up with three little rambunctious cousins and you realize their true potential for devastation.

But i mean physically, wouldnt you be able to kill them with your bare hands if your life was at stake?

 

[Irksome]

Three of these. So I'd say about 500 to a 1000 5 year olds.

 

[CptStern]

zero ..they're 5 years old and still cute as hell, you sick little monkeys

 

[Deleted member 56031]

40-60 with a katana I'd say.

 

[Reginald]

Depends if they were naked.

 

[Gunner]

Inspired by a 3 year old thread at pcgamer.se forum.

How many 5 year olds can you fight at the same time? Your in a...lets say a school gym (basketball court size) and all the entrances are spewing in small 5 year olds. You are in the middle with anything at hand. A baseball bath(EDIT:BAT..cant believe i spelled it that way), or a gun, or a knife, or a sword, or anything in your imagination. What would you do? Use the surroundings.

Thinking realistically, i would take down about maybe 30-50 till i get to tired when all of the kids jump me and eat my internal organs. I would first use a sith (cant spell, those things that Death uses to cut stuff) and simply swing it wildly around me. Then for backup have a knife.

What you think I am? HUH? What you think, I a ****in' worm, like you? I told you, mang, I told you, don't **** with me! I told you, no ****in' kids! No, but you wouldn't listen! Well, you stupid ****! Look at you now.

 

[lePobz]

Easy ... you just grab one 5 year old by the feet and swing him/her round and round. Swap for another 5 year old when the one you're currently using loses most of his/her limbs.

 

[Pi Mu Rho]

Twenty-six. I reckon I could have done twenty-seven, but the last little bastard sucker punched me.

 

[Phobie]

None, they're so CUTE.


Ok maybe a few if they were real little shites.

 

[Qonfused]

zero ..they're 5 years old and still cute as hell, you sick little monkeys

.

5cha

 

[Stigmata]

Probably two. I'm not very strong

 

[<RJMC>]

until my feet gets tired of crushing their skulls

 

[B.Calhoun]

Id be unstoppable with a lightsaber

 

[Raziaar]

I'd unleash a pack of vicious rottweilers on the kids, and amidst all the barking, growling and blood curdling screams for mommy, I'll be laughing manically, carefully crafting together a makeshift raft from the floorboards with tender loving care to help me sail gracefully from the gym via the high windows as the blood pools get deeper and deeper.

 

[Seppo]

zero ..they're 5 years old and still cute as hell, you sick little monkeys

it's not a question of what you want to do, it's a question of what you MUST do. you don't get to decide teh rules when you're life's in danger by an army of 5 year olds

 

[CptStern]

ya but you guys are just looking at it all wrong ..all you do is throw them a bag of toys and they'll be too preoccupied to do anything ..jebus you guys think violence solves everything when in fact it only solves somethings ..like the overpopulation problem in iraq

 

[Raziaar]

ya but you guys are just looking at it all wrong ..all you do is throw them a bag of toys and they'll be too preoccupied to do anything ..jebus you guys think violence solves everything when in fact it only solves somethings ..like the overpopulation problem in iraq

Thank you Captain Bringdown.

Let us enjoy our violent fantasies enacted against small children in peace.

 

[CptStern]

Thank you Captain Bringdown.

Let us enjoy our violent fantasies enacted against small children in peace.

well technically compared to me some of you are children ....admittedly I have violent fantasies involving some of you but I mostly keep it to myself

/eyes cowman with violent intent

 

[Raziaar]

well technically compared to me some of you are children ....admittedly I have violent fantasies involving some of you but I mostly keep it to myself

/eyes cowman with violent intent

You're only like what... 10-14 years older than me? You're probably only equivalent to seven or eight five year olds.

I could take you. I challenge you to fisticuffs good sir!

 

[mortiz-Redux]

A friend of mine works at a swimming pool and has the pleasure of teaching kids around 5 how to swim. After hearing some of the stories (he simply calls them "little shits" now) I'd probably aim for 70-80. I'd take an Uzi, a granade and 1 clip of ammo and climb the rope, aim for the athletic kids first (because they'll be able to climb after me) and kill that fat ones last.

 

[Pesmerga]

Hmm, I'd say 15-20 for about 10 minutes before I go down.

 

[Naurgul]

I don't think I'd manage to bring myself to kill little children, no matter the circumstances...

(unless we're talking about zombies)

 

[mortiz-Redux]

I don't think I'd manage to bring myself to kill little children, no matter the circumstances...

(unless we're talking about zombies)

If they're rabidly attacking you then there's something obviously wrong with them. Shoot first, ask questions later, afterall, it's better to be safe than sorry.

 

[CptStern]

You're only like what... 10-14 years older than me? You're probably only equivalent to seven or eight five year olds.

I could take you. I challenge you to fisticuffs good sir!

OMG LOOK!!! AN ABATTOIR SETTING UP SHOP IN YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD!!!


/takes advantage that cowman is looking for phantom abattoir and smashes beer bottle over head, makes shoes out of hide

 

[Tyguy]

weapons needed:

Mini Gun, land mines, sawed off shotgun, sword, knife, grenades

I would strategically palce the landmines in front of every possible entrance in teh gym, as well as some spread out around the floor. As soon as the doors openeed I would concentrate my fire with the minigun at each door until they get in and are close to me. At this point I take out my shotgun and begin pumping rounds in a circular motion. This will take down alot of them but eventually they may get close enough to where I will need a sword. The sword phase will alst only minutes until they are so close that all I can do is use my knife and stab them. My last attempt would be to pull the pins of many grenades and blow myself up.

Total number of minigun deaths = 258
Total number of shotgun deaths - 54
Total number of deaths related to land mines - 49
Total number of deaths related to the sword - 28
Total number of deaths resulting from stab wounds from knife - 9
Total number of 5th graders killed by grenades - 24

Total number of 5 year olds killed - 422

 

[Ravioli]

weapons needed:

Mini Gun, land mines, sawed off shotgun, sword, knife, grenades

I would strategically palce the landmines in front of every possible entrance in teh gym, as well as some spread out around the floor. As soon as the doors openeed I would concentrate my fire with the minigun at each door until they get in and are close to me. At this point I take out my shotgun and begin pumping rounds in a circular motion. This will take down alot of them but eventually they may get close enough to where I will need a sword. The sword phase will alst only minutes until they are so close that all I can do is use my knife and stab them. My last attempt would be to pull the pins of many grenades and blow myself up.

Total number of minigun deaths = 258
Total number of shotgun deaths - 54
Total number of deaths related to land mines - 49
Total number of deaths related to the sword - 28
Total number of deaths resulting from stab wounds from knife - 9
Total number of 5th graders killed by grenades - 24

Total number of 5th graders killed - 422

I hereby declare Tyguy as the ultimate master of slaying 5 year olds! Congratz

 

[CyberPitz]

All of them. I hate kids that much. And screw weapons, bare handed fights.

 

[Acepilotf14]

I'm going to make a game and attach strength and dexterity values to you all. Sort of like a turn-based game. Yoo-hoo! I'd say about 10. Can they bite?

 

[Ravioli]

why yes they can bite, and snap your neck with their thighs

 

[ailevation]

Give me an It the clown suit, they won't even bother to challenge me.

 

[Darkside55]

I wouldn't fight them. I would offer them the things they want most: video games, candy, Ben 10 action figures, and unlimited no-take-backs protection from cooties, and sway them under my power.

Then I will possess an army of five year olds. Unswervingly loyal, deceptively strong five-year-olds I can mold into an unstoppable fighting force.

 

[Raziaar]

OMG LOOK!!! AN ABATTOIR SETTING UP SHOP IN YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD!!!

/takes advantage that cowman is looking for phantom abattoir and smashes beer bottle over head, makes shoes out of hide

Raziaar writhes around on the ground in agony, his hide having been freshly ripped from his muscle tissue. Gathering up all the courage he can muster, he purses his lips and whistles sharply.

From the distance approaches a truly terrifying zebra, black with red stripes made of five-year old human child blood. The zebra circles around CptStern menacingly, hooves kicking up a small cloud of dust which conceals Raziaar and buys him time. Raziaar quickly takes advantage of these few precious moments and snatches up various pieces of debris, transforming his body into physical matter and melding the objects onto his body to form a new skin.

With a loud noise reminiscent of a giant glacial shelf splitting violently apart, he brandishes a boomerang made of ice and flings it through the obfuscating dust cloud at his attacker, which topples CptStern to the ground before returning from whence it came. His foe weakened, Raziaar lashes out with his single tentacle, thrashing CptStern around in the air before slamming him into the ground.

The conspicuous usage of the boomerang has drawn the attention of a grazing herd of cattle on a nearby farm. It isn't long before their presence is known to Raziaar, and he transforms them all into rampaging bears of all types. The bears crash through the piddly barbed wire fence and approach CptStern with deadly intent.

CptStern is powerless and unable to escape as Raziaar inhibits his innate abilities! The bears close in and swarm over CptStern, reducing him to a pile of slimy mutilated bones.

Carried by the warm gentle breezes, a butterfly floats into the area and past the gaze of Raziaar. Letting out a shriek of panic, the Cow Man transforms himself into a muscular bull and frantically runs off to the nearest town to make a call on a police box and get the hell off Earth.

Raziaar conquers enemies with a lethal tentacle. He has the ability to fly through the vacuum of space using a breathtaking police call box and he has learned to transform his body into physical matter. Raziaar attacks using a wicked boomerang made from ice, but using this power draws a lot of attention. He likewise brandishes a terrifying pet zebra that also grants a wondrous proficiency at repairing stuff, however never while thinking hard. Raziaar has mastered the ability to transform any cow into a bear and he possesses the power to cause his opponents to become powerless. Also, he can change shape into a bull. Unfortunately, Raziaar is deathly afraid of butterflies.

P.S. Bad writing I know... it was shoddily and hastily done.

 

[MJ12]

This thread makes me think-

 

[Seppo]

I don't know what the artist wanted to say with that statue

Make sure you don't step on a soap when you exit shower, or you might slip and end up fighting against 4 babies that disobey the laws of gravity

communism again

 

[Ravioli]

I don't know what the artist wanted to say with that statue

Make sure you don't step on a soap when you exit shower, or you might slip and end up fighting against 4 flying babies

communism again

hahahah oh man that made me lol so hard

 

[Naurgul]

If they're rabidly attacking you then there's something obviously wrong with them. Shoot first, ask questions later, afterall, it's better to be safe than sorry.

That doesn't apply to me because I am so paranoid that if I was concerned about my safety more than I do, I'd randomly attack people in the streets.

zombieturtle01, where's that?

 

[Hellrider]

I can definitely take over 9000.

 

[MJ12]

zombieturtle01, where's that?

dunno, I think a european country. Taken off some weird website.