I am making a series based on Portal

M

mr.chips

Spy
Joined
Jan 2, 2008
Messages
132
Reaction score
0
I have decided to make my own series based on the Portal game. The characters will be Chell, companion cube and GLaDOS. It will be a weekly series made with Garry's mod. I havent got Portal for Garry's mod, but I will purchase it. I am still trying to name my series. Here are some titles-

*Thinking with Portals
*Aperture science army
*Chell and Companion cube
*The Chell chronicles.

Well these are some titles I have been thinking of. The series will be about Chell and her having adventures with companion cube. I am currently writing the first episode. But I wont be able to make the series right now because steam wont play my games, so there will be a delay in filming. I will be posting some of the script here when I get it done.
 
So what you have is an idea to use Portal to do...what? It doesn't even have a name and remember that if it takes more than a day to write one episode you can't do it weekly.
 
Para said:
So what you have is an idea to use Portal to do...what? It doesn't even have a name and remember that if it takes more than a day to write one episode you can't do it weekly.
Click to expand...

How do you know he can't do it weekly? Hard work?
 
PORTAL: THE CHELL CHRONICLES

I am going to use that name. Anyway, I may make it into a comic series instead of a video. The series will be set after the events of Portal. Chell finds a chip from GLaDOS'S brain. When she plugs it into a laptop that she just happened to find, GLaDOS begins to talk to Chell. GLaDOS begs Chell to rebuild the centre and of course herself. I will be including a Male character in the series. His name is Test subject 15837. I got the name of the Portal flash version. This character will also be the person of the Portal video. So there it is, an update on my series. As I said, I wont yet be able 2 make it with Gmod due to steam not playing my games, so there will a wait on that.
 
Portal: the Chell Chronicles episode 1

Remember, this is set after portal.

Chell wakes up outside the science centre. She is surrounded by GLaDOS's remains. She slowly gets to her feet. She walks torwards the gates which leads outside the area. She steps into the security office by the gates. There is a computer on the desk. It is turned on. There is a red telephone next to the computer and Chell picks it up. But the cable is cut. She puts it down again. Chell sits down and looks at the computer screen. Then she notices a chip next to the computer. It has GLADOS, printed in black on the side. Curious, Chell picks it up and inserts it into the computer. Then words start popping up on the screen. The computer begins to talk as well as the words pop up.

GLADOS: Still alive. You thought you killed me but I am still alive. Still alive.

CHELL: what the hell?

GLADOS: Ah yes, you are shocked. You thought you killed me but you couldnt have because I am still alive. Can you do me a favour.


Chell stares at the screen.

CHELL: what?

GLADOS: rebuild me. Peace my parts back together!

CHELL: why should I?

GLADOS: because if you do, I can offer you saftey. And I know you dont want to leave the Aperture science center.

CHELL: why do you think that?

GLADOS: well, why would you be sitting here right now? Shouldnt you get going.

CHELL: suppose you have a point.

GLADOS: well rebuild me. Just collect the remains and enter through the blue portal behind you.


Chell turns around. There is a blue portal on the wall.


CHELL: where does it lead me to?

GLADOS: my nest, the place where you tried to kill me.

Chell thinks for a minute. Should she do it?

CHELL: ok, I will rebuild you.

GLADOS: perfect. Just collect my bits and take them through the portal.


Chell exits the secuirty office and gathers GLADOS'S remains. She takes them through the blue portal.

Few hours later

(Chell has finished peacing the remains together.)

GLADOS: thank you. Now I would like to offer you a job.

CHELL: as what.

GLADOS: I will tell you tommorow. Meet me in the room which has a projector talking about Black mesa. You know, it has a desk and chairs around it.

CHELL: alright then.

(Chell exits the chamber.)


To be contunued

There we are. Not that good but I came up with something. I will be updating it on Sunday or Monday.
 
Here is Chell's life before Portal.

Name: Chell
Age: 27
Home area: England
Children: Hannah (daughter)

Chell was a receptionist at a hospital. Chell had a daughter called Hannah, but Hannah lived with Chell's ex-husband in Italy. She wasnt that happy with her pay, so she decided to look for a new job. When on the net, came across the apeture science website. It showed a demonstation of what kind of jobs are there. One of the jobs is working with Portal devices. Chell was interested so read about the place. She will be paid ?50,000 pounds a month. Chell applied for the job. She was given a location and got the plane to America. In America she arrived at the centre. When arriving at the place, she entered inside. She wondered why there wasnt anyone inside the office. When entering, she arrived at the reception. There was a note on the desk saying to go to room B. Chell found this weird,but followed the signs. When arriving at Room B, and when entering inside, the door slammed behind her and sealed shut. Then she heard a female's voice talking to her.

GLADOS: welcome to the apeture science centre. I am proud you applied to work here. I hope you enjoy your stay.

Then some sort of gas leaked into the room. Chell began to feel sleepy.

GLADOS: I am letting of a gas, which will put you to sleep. You will forget all about your life up to this moment. I will awake you when you are ready to do the test.

Chell collapsed. Some time later, she woke up in a cold chamber. A radio playing and a toilet. Chell was wearing an orange suit. But she couldnt remember how she got the centre. This was due to GLADOS's memory erasing gas. GLADOS welcomed Chell to the centre. But the one mystery that remains to be solved is that who brought Chell to the chamber and put her into the relaxation box. How can GLaDOS, she was a machine that talked to her subjects but was infact in a huge room just sitting there. The turrets that Chell later took down couldnt have down it, they dont move. Companion cube couldnt do it, because he is...well...a cube. Maybe Chell isnt the only human in the centre.


There we go, Chell's biography. Please reply to this someone, I would love some feedback and what people thought of it.
 
mr.chips said:
Here is Chell's life before Portal.

There we go, Chell's biography. Please reply to this someone, I would love some feedback and what people thought of it.
Click to expand...

Dumb. Dumb and boring.

1: Why would Aperture Science be advertising their super-duper-secret portal devices openly on the internet? Apparentely, Aperture Science don't really give two shits about background checks, hospital receptionists can just walk in and get the "job". Who dragged her to the chamber? Perhaps a former gas station attendant who also found out about the revolutionary Ad-hoc quantum portal technology on the internet showed up and was asked to drag her or get gassed.
Also; Why would a company in America be advertising how much they pay in pounds and not dollars? And if she'll be paid 50 000 pounds a month without having any qualifications, why is there not a line of thousands of people outside Aperture Science wanting to get this great, top secret, highly classified job that they read about in the intertubes?
2: Why would GLaDOS say something as stupid as "I am letting of a gas, which will put you to sleep. You will forget all about your life up to this moment."? That is a truly ridiculous line.
3: If you're interested in how the biography reads from a point of language: Horrible. You mix tenses like nobody's business and your sentence structure is akin to some stuff I myself wrote. When I was eleven.
4: Your first episode makes just as much sense as the biography;
"Rebuild me."
"Why?"
"I'll offer you safety."
"You just tried to kill me numerous times with bullets, rockets, fire and gas. You tormented me and the only way for me to survive was tearing you apart piece by piece. Why should I rebuild you?"
"You're still sitting here, aren't you?"
"Yeah, cause in the resulting blast after killing you I was severely injured, my ribs have been crushed and my leg is broken you bitch! You think I wanna sit here chatting with you? No, it's just that my hip-bone is jutting out of my leg and it's putting a crimp on my otherwise oh-so athletic physique and stamina."
"...rebuild me. Please?"
"...Fine."
Also, if she's so broken down, how can she generate a portal? And how can Chell put together such a sophisticated computer in a few hours?
Also; "I will tell you tommorow. Meet me in the room which has a projector talking about Black mesa. You know, it has a desk and chairs around it." <- another retarded line. Also, there are several such rooms.
And don't double post.



...but yeah, good luck and looking forward to reading it.
 
Well, my series is daft. I make up daft things. I think retarded is a horrible way of putting it.

...but yeah, good luck and looking forward to reading it.
Click to expand...

If you didnt like it that much, why are you looking forward to the next episode?

Edit: I think what you wrote was funny AJ_Rimmer. Even though you critizized it (sorry for spelling) I found you comments funny. I wish I was you. I should have included the lines like this-

"Rebuild me."
"Why?"
"I'll offer you safety."
"You just tried to kill me numerous times with bullets, rockets, fire and gas. You tormented me and the only way for me to survive was tearing you apart piece by piece. Why should I rebuild you?"
"You're still sitting here, aren't you?"
"Yeah, cause in the resulting blast after killing you I was severely injured, my ribs have been crushed and my leg is broken you bitch! You think I wanna sit here chatting with you? No, it's just that my hip-bone is jutting out of my leg and it's putting a crimp on my otherwise oh-so athletic physique and stamina."
"...rebuild me. Please?"
"...Fine."
Click to expand...

Anyway, about the person dragging Chell to the relaxation vault, how to you know it isnt a person who works for GLaDOS. I will be revealing it in a future episode (if it gets that far) so you will have to wait and see.
 
here is the second episode.

Portal: The Chell Chronicles Episode 2

(Chell enters inside the room with the projector. She sits down at the desk. She then sees companion cube sitting on one of the chairs. Chell smiles.)

CHELL: COMPANION CUBE.

(She hugs the cube.)

CHELL: I thought you where dead.

GLADOS: hello, I see you have come to the meeting.

CHELL: yep. So anyway, what did you want to tell me.

GLADOS: well, I wondered if you would be interested in the Aperture science army.

CHELL: what do I have to do.

GLADOS: well, I give you random missions to do basicly. And other stuff that I need doing.

CHELL: sure, sounds interesting. So who will be on the team.

GLADOS: well, you will be with Companion cube.

CHELL: cool. So what is my first mission?

GLADOS: find the BOREALIS.

CHELL: the what?

GLADOS: the BOREALIS is a ship which diapeared from the Aperture Science docks some time ago. It was due to one of our Portal technology.

CHELL: and where is it exactly.

GLADOS: somewhere up in the artic.

CHELL: and how do I get there. And what do I do when I get there.

GLADOS: well, I just so happen to have a plane somewhere in the facility. Use it to track the Borealis. When finding it, stock up the plane with the portal technology and get back here. And companion cube will also assist you.

CHELL: I will accept.

GLADOS: good, meet me in my chamber tommorow morning ASAP! Dont be late.

CHELL: will do.

(Chell picks up Companion cube and takes him away.)

TO BE CONTINUED....

Next episode - "To the borealis"

There is another episode written up. Please comment on it.
 
When I said "there is another episode written up" I acctually meant this one. If that is what you are talking about.

Here is the biography for Companion cube-

Name: Companion Cube
Age: unknown
Family: basicly other cubes in the game

Companion cube lives in the apeture centre. When Chell came along, it was love at first sight for him. He was lucky to assist her through the test chamber. But he knew that she would have to burn him when the test is over. Well, this is the same cube that you met up with in portal. When thrown into the incinerator, he activated a portal device which was inside him and was portalled away before any harm can come to him. He attented to the meeting that Chell was going to in episode 2 so he would meet up with her again. But the problem is, Chell doesnt know he is the same cube and he cant tell her because he cant speak.

Here is a biography for GLaDOS

Name: GLaDOS
Age: unknown
Family: Spheres and turrets

GLaDOS was a program which was activated at the centre. She flooded the human staff and took over. Now she owns the centre. GLaDOS can hack into other people's files. She picked Chell out of random choice. Somehow, GLaDOS managed to send a link to the Aperture science website onto Chell's computer. Upon Chell's arrival, GLaDOS gassed her and knocked her out and wiped her memory. GLaDOS waked Chell up and started testing her with Portal experiments. But in the final showdown, Chell destroyed GLaDOS. But GLaDOS's memory chip was entered into a computer by Chell and GLaDOS begged Chell to rebuild her. GLaDOS managed to get Chell to do it, despite what she done to her. GLaDOS then offered Chell as part of the Aperture science army. Chell accepted it, or maybe just because companion cube was part of the team. It is to be noted that someone may be working for GLaDOS. Maybe a human. This may possibly be revealed in a future episode.
 
Your story is crap. I could go into a detailed contructive critisism, but I'd have to be commenting on how crap it all is. It doesn't seem like you've put a single ounce of thought into any of it. Before you post a story, read over it yourself and ask yourself "Would I enjoy reading this?". I doubt anyone could enjoy that unless it was laughing at how bad it is, but it's not even bad enough to be funny.
 
sorry chips, i dont think your story has any credible evidence, or humor. other than puzzles and a plot twist, portal offers funny humor, (cake). i just dont see where it comes in. (have you seen halflife full life consequences?) if you did it like that, it just might be good. (still talking about humor). also you really need to look over your whole story, and add some explanation, like how glados can create a portal when shes broked. add some adventure, mabey some plot twists, glados trys to kill her again???? anyways thats what i think.
 
Portal: The Chell Chronicles Episode 3

(Chell and companion cube are flying towards the Artic in their plane. They are both playing still alive on a radio next to them.)

CHELL: not long to go companion cube!

COMPANION CUBE: .......

(They reach the artic. Meanwhile on the bottom, there are combine soldiers.)

COMBINE SOLIDER#1: there is a plane sir.

COMBINE SOLDIER#2: well naw, just noticed that?

COMBINE SOLDIER#3: shall we shoot it down.

COMBINE SOLDIER#2: nah, just leave it. It is probably one of our own.

(Later on, the plane lands near an icy mountain. Chell lands it and her and companion cube exit the plane. They look up the mountain.)

CHELL: my sources tell me if we climb the mountain, we will see the Boreialis.

COMPANION CUBE: ...........

CHELL: yeah, I should use the portal gun. But I left it back at the aperture science labs.

(Chell begins to climb the mountain. She has a bag on her back with companion cube inside. Later on, Chell is halfway up the mountain. She slips on the ice and falls! Her bag slips of and falls as well. Chell grabs onto a bit of rock with one hand and holds onto the bag with the other.)

CHELL: dont worry, I wont drop you.

(Bits of snow starts rolling down the mountain and hits Chell in the face. She spits it out.)

CHELL: alright cube, you will have to trust me on this.

(Chell wraps the bag handle around her ankle. She then uses the other hand to grab onto another rock. She began to climb again. When reaching the top, she had a look around.)

CHELL: wow, we are high up.

(She continues the jouney. It begins to snow heavy. She reaches the other side of the mountain. And there it is, the Borealis. Chell slids down the ice and runs towards the huge ship. She ran towards the door and opened it. The door led her into a long corridor. She took companion cube out of her bag.)

CHELL: here we are.

(Chell walks up to a door which has "STORAGE AREA" written on it. She opens the door. Chell looks at something. She smiles.)

CHELL: well, we have found it. GLaDOS will be happy about this.

TO BE CONTINUED

Find out what Chell found out in the next episode coming out later on today.
 
Your story is more crap with each episode. You need to re-think the whole idea if you're gonna make a series out of it.
 
Well dont worry, the series will end soon anyway.

And there is no reason to use the words crap or retarded. But why are you reading my series if you hate it?

EDIT:

NEWS - I am not going to continue the Chell Chronicles
Here are my reasons-
1) I have been getting more people telling me they hate it rather than like it
2) The writing is bad
3) It isnt anything like Portal
4) I am wasting my time writing something most people wont like

I know, I am giving up to soon. But I am going to start another project rather than this one.

Anyway how did you know this?

Who dragged her to the chamber? Perhaps a former gas station attendant who also found out about the revolutionary Ad-hoc quantum portal technology on the internet showed up and was asked to drag her or get gassed.
Click to expand...
 
I'm sorry dude, but internet criticism is internet criticism.
 
Everyone knows the Internet is always right, Jints.
 
Cpt Tenacious said:
How do you know he can't do it weekly? Hard work?
Click to expand...

Whaddya know, I was right. Crown me with an empty soda can or something.


Seriously, the biggest mistake one can make when deciding on creating a story/serie of some sort is to publically announce it (either or forums or making a website for it or both) BEFORE any actual work is done. Title isn't the most important part of the work of art, in fact I've seen several nice stories and such which didn't have a title at all.

So, if you would've come here announcing "Hey I've done three episodes of this dumbass serie INSERT_NAME_HERE and I'm looking for feedback oh and I'm going to make more." I would've given you a thumbs up for effort and some encouragement for future. Instead you came around with an idea which sounds like you had right after hitting your head to a wall because you tripped on your cat or something equal, maybe your oversized fluffy slippers.

Also one thing that's important is the execution not the idea, not the story itself. A good example of this is Half-Life: Full Life Consequences fanfic-turned-into-gmod-video.

EDIT: Urgh, I don't want to embed youtube right now I just want to link it, how do I get rid of that?
 
You can't; it's automatic, and really annoying. I just realised this thread is in the wrong section. We have a fan-fic section.
 
Para said:
Also one thing that's important is the execution not the idea, not the story itself. A good example of this is Half-Life: Full Life Consequences fanfic-turned-into-gmod-video.

EDIT: Urgh, I don't want to embed youtube right now I just want to link it, how do I get rid of that?
Click to expand...

Hahahaha, that was almost as good as Vegeta's :D But not quite.
 
mr.chips said:
Well dont worry, the series will end soon anyway.

And there is no reason to use the words crap or retarded. But why are you reading my series if you hate it?

EDIT:

NEWS - I am not going to continue the Chell Chronicles
Here are my reasons-
1) I have been getting more people telling me they hate it rather than like it
2) The writing is bad
3) It isnt anything like Portal
4) I am wasting my time writing something most people wont like

I know, I am giving up to soon. But I am going to start another project rather than this one.

Anyway how did you know this?
Click to expand...

did u listen to me chips? only humor i thought might be is the companion cube talking. total crap now i guess. also thatnks for posting the hlflc video. thats what i meant in my last post
 
It's going to be a failedcomic cos the guy gave up.
 
Well, I will continue if you want me to. But I wont be able 2 make it a webcomic yet because my computer wont let me play my games. But if you want me to contunue, I will. f
 
Yeah, I admit it was crap. I am working on something else, but nothing to do with Portal.
 
I am currently writing the script for the Alyx Vance series. I am not going to rush it like portal. It is going to be set a week before Gordon Freeman arrives in city 17. There is no title as of yet, but I am going to get the story sorted out first. When I get the first episode made on Garry's mod, it will be posting the comic here and over at PHWOnline. The first episode will be the pilot, so if any one doesnt like it, I wont make more. But if people do like it and enjoy it, I will make more. Kinda simple. Here are stuff I am working on-
- An un-named Alyx Vance series
- City 17 Street#6 (a comic series I have over at PHW)
- Garry's mod adventures comic

Of course, I am working on the Alyx Vance series. If it doesnt get good comments, I will stop making it and will make another episode to my city 17 street series. Then I will make a comic about Garry's mod. Of course, first things first, I will get this computer fixed. I going to hand it in an hour or so and it should be ready to be collected tommorow. But I shouldnt promise anything about the series, it really depends if Garry's mod will work for me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

bbson john
Hi everyone. I am new to this forum!
Replies
11
Views
6K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
B
Marc Laidlaw releases Half-Life 2: Episode Three's plot
Replies
32
Views
39K
BabyHeadCrab
BabyHeadCrab
B
Community Interviews: Tony Newton, co-creator of Redemption
Replies
0
Views
5K
Barnz
B
Omnomnick
Examining The Files Of "SteamVR Performance Test" & "Aperture Robot Repair"
Replies
27
Views
91K
MFL
MFL
Sidedraft
Source 2 Benefits?
Replies
17
Views
9K
SoylentGamer
SoylentGamer
Back
Top