I saw something beautiful

[TheDude]

I just saw the most amazing thing. I went to take a piss and the urine started making shapes like clouds in the sky. It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this piss was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in. Anyone else ever had this experience?

 

[Moto]

Lay off the acid.

 

[Que-Ever]

Sometimes I'll be sitting in my room, and it's quiet, and the temperatures right, and I'll get a warm feelign in my chest and I'll get real relaxed and just smile and my body feels like it's spinning back and forth but I'm not moving and it's real nice and one time I pissed for fourty-five seconds.

 

[TheDude]

Sometimes I'll be sitting in my room, and it's quiet, and the temperatures right, and I'll get a warm feelign in my chest and I'll get real relaxed and just smile and my body feels like it's spinning back and forth but I'm not moving and it's real nice and one time I pissed for fourty-five seconds.

Truly a lolacaust and tears in the eyes.

 

[VirusType2]

I once pissed for close to 5 minutes straight. I became bored an annoyed, while at the same time, slightly amazed, and I'm not ashamed to admit - a little proud. I was hoping there was someone within earshot to hear how much of a man I am.

 

[elkaebee]

Massive crits and whatnot indeed.

 

[TheDude]

I once pissed for close to 5 minutes straight. I became bored an annoyed, while at the same time, slightly amazed, and I'm not ashamed to admit - a little proud. I was hoping there was someone within earshot to hear how much of a man I am.

Were you doing the lazy mans piss where you just let it flow or were you going full bore trying to get the goods out as quickly as possible? And were there bubbles?

 

[McGooTheWise]

I once pissed for close to 5 minutes straight. I became bored an annoyed, while at the same time, slightly amazed, and I'm not ashamed to admit - a little proud. I was hoping there was someone within earshot to hear how much of a man I am.

When I had kidney stones it took the piss 5 minutes to make it out, and about a inute to stop, then I passed part of a stone and then pissed for another 4 minutes. the best piss of my life, the immense relief was amazing.

Anyways, you were amazed by a piss? Wow, I wonder what would happen if you saw spacemonkeys...

 

[Que-Ever]

You ever try to fill up the whole bowl with bubbles? It's fun.

 

[TheDude]

When I had kidney stones it took the piss 5 minutes to make it out, and about a inute to stop, then I passed part of a stone and then pissed for another 4 minutes. the best piss of my life, the immense relief was amazing.

Anyways, you were amazed by a piss? Wow, I wonder what would happen if you saw spacemonkeys...

I would cut their heads off and skull **** them till their eyes popped out. We can't have that sort of nonsense running the universe, stealing all the valuable minerals that we will one day discover.

 

[TheDude]

TWO hoes diverged on my yellow wood,
And sorry I could not bone both
And be one aids victim, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in her undergrowth; 5

Then looked down the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better clam,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 10

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever cum on her back. 15

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two hoes diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less boned on by,
And that has made all the difference
between AIDS and hepatitis c.

 

[Raziaar]

You've been watching too much American Beauty.

 

[TheDude]

This thread has become exceptionally lame. Anyone down for some GTAIV?

 

[Saturos]

Sometimes I'll be sitting in my room, and it's quiet, and the temperatures right, and I'll get a warm feelign in my chest and I'll get real relaxed and just smile and my body feels like it's spinning back and forth but I'm not moving and it's real nice and one time I pissed for fourty-five seconds.

Sitting in your room, while pissing for 45 seconds in your bed during a period of spinning back and fourth?
That warm fuzzy feeling on your chest then must have been your poor mattress taking the punishment. :|
Were you lying on your chest during this strange period of "ecstasy" by any chance?

Or was pissing for 45 seconds an entirely new statement?

 

[VirusType2]

Were you doing the lazy mans piss where you just let it flow or were you going full bore trying to get the goods out as quickly as possible?

A little more power and I would have been power-washing the porcelain. When I've got a full bladder, and I'm feeling like I'll be pissing for a while, I sometimes try to clean the toilet and/or destroy all the bubbles with my stream. The stream was nearly the thickness of a #2 pencil. The piss of a lifetime.

Or that time I farted for nearly 60 seconds in one go. I was in awe of not only the length of time the fart was sustained, but also for the strangely pleasant musky odor.

 

[TheDude]

A little more power and I would have been power-washing the porcelain. I was trying to make it loud and proud. The stream was nearly the thickness of a #2 pencil. Something memorable.

Or that time I farted for nearly 60 seconds in one go. I was in awe of not only the length of time the fart was sustained, but also for the strangely pleasant musky odor.

That's phenomenal! and fabulous!

 

[French Ninja]

Glorious.

 

[Saturos]

Glorious.

French Ninja, I must comment on your location to tell you that in the future, you may want to consider renaming your loaction:

New York....WHICH IS MADE OF CHEAPLY IMPORTED STEEL.

 

[Que-Ever]

Sitting in your room, while pissing for 45 seconds in your bed during a period of spinning back and fourth?
That warm fuzzy feeling on your chest then must have been your poor mattress taking the punishment. :|
Were you lying on your chest during this strange period of "ecstasy" by any chance?

Or was pissing for 45 seconds an entirely new statement?

naw, that was different.

 

[VirusType2]

I like to throw bugs in the toilet and punish them with my piss stream.

One crafty insect managed to find safety atop a lone square of toilet paper. I did not hesitate to blow an enormous hole right through its makeshift raft, and watched with glee as his desperation increased whilst my powerful blast sent him for a spiral and repeatedly forced him under.

When I no longer held a charge, I went ahead and left him alive to see how long he would squirm before finally succumbing to fatigue. No longer moving, I became bored with my prey and proceeded to put him out of his misery by flushing him into the unknown.

 

[TheDude]

I like to throw bugs in the toilet and punish them with my piss stream.

One crafty insect managed to find safety atop a lone square of toilet paper. I did not hesitate to blow an enormous hole right through its makeshift raft, and watched with glee as his desperation increased whilst my powerful blast sent him for a spiral and repeatedly forced him under.

When I no longer held a charge, I went ahead and left him alive to see how long he would squirm before finally succumbing to fatigue. No longer moving, I became bored with my prey and proceeded to put him out of his misery by flushing him into the unknown.

You're weird.

 

[highlander]

I sat on the toilet for a whole HOUR.

That was a good hour.

 

[Naudian]

I caused Chernobyl for a whole HOUR.

That was a good Chernobyl.

 

[highlander]

I lol'd ^

Chernobyl caused me for a whole HOUR
Man that was a good me.

 

[15357]

.....

*head explodes*

 

[VirusType2]

You're weird.

I believe the term is 'sadist'. I feel eternal pain and I do not want to be alone in my suffering.

 

[Azner]

I just saw the most amazing thing. I went to take a piss and the urine started making shapes like clouds in the sky. It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this piss was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in. Anyone else ever had this experience?

You pissed for 15 minutes?

Are you a water tank or something?
edit
Lawdy, most of you guys can piss for more than a minute?! I can't D:

 

[Naudian]

They're all exaggerating/lying liars. Lies.

 

[soulslicer]

Something is wrong with you people. Really, something is wrong...

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

...woah

 

[kineaesth]

Kill it, guys.

KILL IT WIT A SKILLET.​

 

[Crash]

Why, why did I read this....damn I need help....:rolling:

 

[TCfromBN]

I Prefer Fire, Tbh

 

[Slug Advisor]

How did this thread happen?

 

[VirusType2]

it's a glitch in the matrix

 

[Cavalry]

The LHC must have been activated.

 

[Sheepo]

Twas the ascension.

 

[Lucid]

During the bee infestation of '07, I was in the bathroom taking an incredibly messy shit.
You know those shits that just leak out? Well, I farted in the process of releasing my brown substances... and it splattered all over the bowl.

Well anyways, a bee found its way into the toilet, I felt something tickling my ass cheek... so I reach under with toilet paper and the ****er stings me right on the cheek!
Needless to say, I emptied all of my bowel contents after that.

 

[Dinkleberry]

I just saw the most amazing thing. I went to take a piss and the urine started making shapes like clouds in the sky. It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this piss was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in. Anyone else ever had this experience?

You might like this then...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Az_7U0-cK0

 

[Zephos]

A mate of ours did a shit in a bath once.

And not just the bath... but the sink... and the shower... and the floor... and the walls.

We were still finding faecal matter in corners of the bathroom a week later.