My take on a Half-Life movie script

[Maverick Knig]

This might belong more in the Fan Fiction forum, but I figured more people would see it here. Here's just the first bit I've got written. Proof positive that it can be done! But it won't, because Hollywood is dumb like that. :frown:

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1. INTRO
Blackness. No introductory music. SFX: a tram approaches, stops; a door opens, a man stands, footsteps walk across metal. Something slides, a machine beeps a negative.

Man (muffled)
What the…?​

Something slides again, another negative beep. The man knocks on a door.

Man
Hey! Anyone in there?
​

A light turns on, and now we see that we’re in an antechamber in Black Mesa. There is a computer console on one wall, and a door in the one next to it. A security guard walks in, stretches.

Guard (lazily)
What is it?

Man (outside door)
Your freakin’ door won’t open.

Guard
Okay, hold on. It’s not responding to your pass ID.​

The Guard starts punching buttons on the computer. He obviously doesn’t know what he’s doing, but isn’t getting paid enough to care. Finally the door opens, and Barney Calhoun walks in, wearing civilian clothes. The words from the intro to Blue Shift flash on-screen, describing Barney. (Before the door closes behind Barney, we catch a glimpse of another tram passing by, with Gordon Freeman in it.)

Barney (as tram is passing behind him)
What happened? A top-secret government facility, and you guys can’t even hire some computer goons to get your doors open?

Guard
Yeah, yeah, you just go right to the administrator with that one.​

They step out into the hallway.

Guard
Better get your stuff, Calhoun. There’s a locker all ready, and you’re late for your shift.

Barney
Great. Where am I going to be?

Guard
How the hell should I know? Get going!

Barney
Okay, okay.​

He starts walking through the hallways of Black Mesa, out into the security guard lobby, looking around at everything disinterestedly. He isn’t in a hurry, and appears to be flatly carefree, a man with no life to go home to. The perfect man for his measly job. He walks up to the guard at the front desk and is about to ask a question, but sees the color-coded signs on the wall, pointing his way.

Desk Guard
Calhoun, right? (Calhoun nods.) You’re late. You need your stuff first. In there. (Points in the direction of the locker room. Calhoun moves off.)​

2. LOCKER ROOM
Barney walks in. Another guard is tying his shoe, as Barney walks past various lockers bearing various names (“Newell,” “Laidlaw,” etc.). He comes to his own, finds it unlocked. Inside are his bulletproof vest and helmet. He puts the vest on and raps on the helmet.

Barney (to other guard)
Hey, this is really Kevlar. Real dangerous work here, huh?​

3. LOBBY
Barney walks in and to the front desk. He looks absolutely different in his uniform, almost proud.

Barney
What’ve you got for me?

Desk Guard
Now that’s more like it. But you’re still late. Get on over to C Sector and meet the eggheads’ new recruit.

Barney
Um…okay.​

He checks the facility map on the wall and his almost-good mood drops. Sector-C is clear across the tangle of tram lines and maintenance tunnels, on the other side of the facility.

Barney
You’ve got to be kidding me. What’s this guy’s name?​

4. SECTOR-C TRAM
Close in on a name tag on a white lab coat: “FREEMAN, G.” Zoom out. Gordon Freeman is sitting at the back corner of the empty tram, a binder of papers sitting on his lap. He looks slightly nervous, looking around and tapping his fingers on the binder. He opens it. Inside, we see the letter of employment from the Half-Life manual, coffee stain and everything. The words from the Half-Life intro start flashing, describing Gordon. He looks up, and we see his face. Green, intelligent eyes. He still looks confused, though. He passes the various places from the tram ride in the Half-Life intro. Of particular interest is a large nuclear missile, being carried by robotic arms. As he watches with a sudden, portentous interest, one robotic arm slips, and the missile jostles a bit. Gordon jumps a bit, but calms himself, smiling grimly at his nervousness.

After traveling through grimy hallways. The car finally arrives at the station. Barney is waiting.

Barney
Mr. Freeman?​

Freeman jumps awake, having dozed off.

Gordon
Yes, yes that’s me.
​

Barney opens the door for him to get out. The two of them walk towards a large, imposing, reinforced door.

Gordon
So…what is it exactly that you people do here?

Barney
Guard people like you.

Gordon
Um…okay, what do we do here?

Barney shrugs. He pushes some buttons on the door’s lock, and it grinds open ominously.

Barney
Welcome to Black Mesa, Mr. Freeman.

Gordon
Thanks… (Looks at Barney’s name tag.)…Mr. Calhoun.​

After Gordon walks in, the door slams shut behind him with an echo. He glances back. Nothing happens. He rocks back and forth on his heels for a few moments. Finally, the other door ahead opens. Gordon steps out into…

5. MAIN LOBBY
An elaborate, wall-sized logo of Black Mesa looms over a security guard at the front desk. A scientist stands behind him, looking over his shoulder trying to help with something, but neither have a clue. Gordon walks in tentatively. He notices the security camera in a ceiling corner. It creepily turns to follow him as he walks tentatively forward.

Lobby Guard
Nice of you to show up, Mr. Freeman. I had some mail for you, but we had a system crash about half an hour ago, and things are kind of screwed up…

Scientist
Try this: go to “Network Connections”.

Lobby Guard
We already did that…

Scientist
Well, I have another idea.

Lobby Guard (rolling eyes)
Hurry up, Mr. Freeman.
​

Gordon watches for a few more moments as the guard and the scientist bicker about how to best configure the computer neither of them know how to work. Then he walks off.

6. SCIENTIST LOCKER ROOM

Gordon finds his locker (right between “Shapiro” and “Culp”), but inside is a note. It says: “Gordon: you’re to report to the Sector-C Test Chamber right away. Get your HEV and hurry up! --K”

Gordon (to himself)
HEV?​

A scientist is tying his shoe on other side of the room, exactly as the guard was in the other locker room when Barney walked in.

Scientist
Oh, that’s the Hazardous Environment Suit. Right over there. (Points to the alcove to one side.) You must be with Anomalous Materials. Man, you guys get all the fun toys.​

Gordon looks, and sees several Haz-Mat suits hanging on the wall. He walks up and is about to take one down.

Scientist (pointing again)
No, no, over there.​

Gordon turns to his right, and sees the larger part of the alcove, that had been hidden from the rest of the locker room until he walked over here. The HEV suit is in its charging station, with two empty chargers on either side. Gordon looks around, sees he is alone. He walks up the short stairs, almost reverent. The glass casing slides down as he approaches, as if responding to his presence…

7. HALLWAY
Gordon steps out, suited up and everything. Eli Vance is pacing outside (both legs intact…)

Eli
Let’s go.​

They start walking hurriedly. Eli hardly glances at Gordon, who is struggling to keep up. The suit looks heavy on him.

Gordon
Hey, you must be Dr. Vance. Good to meet you…

Eli
Save it, Freeman. We’re really late.

Gordon
Okay. What are we doing today? I didn’t bring my notes or anything to write on…

Eli
Anomalous materials handling. You’re doing the heavy lifting, lucky you.

Gordon
Okay…what anomalous materials am I handling?

Eli
We’ll explain later.​

In one room they pass, Gordon notices two men engaged in a heated argument across a table. One is white-haired with a beard, and in a lab coat like the rest of them; the other is a familiar government agent who needs no description. His briefcase lies closed between them on the table, but the agent calmly drums his fingers on it much like Gordon was doing earlier on his binder.

(to be continued?)

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Hey thats not too bad!

 

[Shodan]

I quite enjoyed reading that, its pretty good, although I think a Half-Life movie would really depend on some amazing camera work aswell as some fantastic acting, not a Doom movie.

I really liked that you started with barney BTW.

Edit: I was thinking of something when I was reading that, as there wasn't much dialogue in HL1, perhaps Black Mesa would be shortend and the movie would combine elements of HL1, HL2 and Barney etc.

 

[AJ Rimmer]

Very good, reminds of the script I wrote... in my mind that is. Although I wouldn't play it as Freeman's first day. It's like his first week or something. Though maybe that's your choice, which is fine.

 

[Maverick Knig]

@ Shodan: I'm planning to smash together HL, BS, and OPFor into one, so Gordon, Barney, and Adrian can fight alongside each other a couple times.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

@ Shodan: I'm planning to smash together HL, BS, and OPFor into one, so Gordon, Barney, and Adrian can fight alongside each other a couple times.

Is taht POSSIBLE?! Wow, good luck then, my friend!

 

[Maverick Knig]

Sure it is. Watch: All three start out seperate. The disaster. Gordon and Barney meet up. Military shows up. Military flees, leaving Adrian. He meets Gordon and Barney and agrees to show them past the traps and such that the military left, if Gordon will lead them through Black Mesa to Lambda Core. Along the way, they run into Rosenberg, who agrees to let them use his teleporter after they resolve the situation at the Lambda Core. They run into the assassins and special forces. All three get to the Lambda Core, Gordon goes into Xen, Barney and Adrian stay behind to defend it against an attack by special forces or Xen aliens or something. Gordon defeats Nihilanth, meets G-man, gets put into stasis. Maybe even runs into Breen/administrator in Xen, who fills him in (vaguely, of course) on what's going on. Back in Black Mesa, Barney and Adrian teleport out on Rosenberg's teleporter, but Adrian gets intercepted by G-man. Barney drives off into sunset with Rosenberg and the other scientists. Last thing we see is the G-Man walking away from Black Mesa...straightening his tie as a nuclear explosion destroys it all behind them.

See? Anything's possible. Sprinkle in some cryptic meetings with the G-Man, and it's all set.

 

[Beerdude26]

Sure it is. Watch: All three start out seperate. The disaster. Gordon and Barney meet up. Military shows up. Military flees, leaving Adrian. He meets Gordon and Barney and agrees to show them past the traps and such that the military left, if Gordon will lead them through Black Mesa to Lambda Core. Along the way, they run into Rosenberg, who agrees to let them use his teleporter after they resolve the situation at the Lambda Core. They run into the assassins and special forces. All three get to the Lambda Core, Gordon goes into Xen, Barney and Adrian stay behind to defend it against an attack by special forces or Xen aliens or something. Gordon defeats Nihilanth, meets G-man, gets put into stasis. Maybe even runs into Breen/administrator in Xen, who fills him in (vaguely, of course) on what's going on. Back in Black Mesa, Barney and Adrian teleport out on Rosenberg's teleporter, but Adrian gets intercepted by G-man. Barney drives off into sunset with Rosenberg and the other scientists. Last thing we see is the G-Man walking away from Black Mesa...straightening his tie as a nuclear explosion destroys it all behind them.

See? Anything's possible. Sprinkle in some cryptic meetings with the G-Man, and it's all set.

You rock. Now if you would be able to make Gordon completely mute and emotionless, and still have a great movie, you'll attract gamers and other people alike

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Sure it is. Watch: All three start out seperate. The disaster. Gordon and Barney meet up. Military shows up. Military flees, leaving Adrian. He meets Gordon and Barney and agrees to show them past the traps and such that the military left, if Gordon will lead them through Black Mesa to Lambda Core. Along the way, they run into Rosenberg, who agrees to let them use his teleporter after they resolve the situation at the Lambda Core. They run into the assassins and special forces. All three get to the Lambda Core, Gordon goes into Xen, Barney and Adrian stay behind to defend it against an attack by special forces or Xen aliens or something. Gordon defeats Nihilanth, meets G-man, gets put into stasis. Maybe even runs into Breen/administrator in Xen, who fills him in (vaguely, of course) on what's going on. Back in Black Mesa, Barney and Adrian teleport out on Rosenberg's teleporter, but Adrian gets intercepted by G-man. Barney drives off into sunset with Rosenberg and the other scientists. Last thing we see is the G-Man walking away from Black Mesa...straightening his tie as a nuclear explosion destroys it all behind them.

See? Anything's possible. Sprinkle in some cryptic meetings with the G-Man, and it's all set.

I LOVE YOU.:cheers:

 

[Apocalypse89]

The only problem I have with the script is that Gordon seems to be way too clueless about his job. It was obvious from HL1 that the experiment that triggers the RC was extremely important, and it only makes sense that Freeman was preparing for it weeks if not months beforehand. Also, I doubt they'd let him work at BM before he can at least recognize a damn security guard.

Otherwise, great job.

 

[A True Canadian]

Good to see another attempt at a script, but just like the last guy who did it, I have some constructive criticisms...


The intro is perfect up until this point:

Barney (as tram is passing behind him)
What happened? A top-secret government facility, and you guys can’t even hire some computer goons to get your doors open?

Guard
Yeah, yeah, you just go right to the administrator with that one.

They step out into the hallway.


Guard
Better get your stuff, Calhoun. There’s a locker all ready, and you’re late for your shift.

Barney
Great. Where am I going to be?

Guard
How the hell should I know? Get going!

Barney
Okay, okay.

The above dialogue could use some spicing up. "Computer goons" doesn't sound quite right. I must say that I like the reference to the administrator :thumbs:. Also the end dialogue with Barney and the guard discussing Barney's being late should be more interesting. Add some more conflict; don't make Barney so agreeable.

2. LOCKER ROOM
Barney walks in. Another guard is tying his shoe, as Barney walks past various lockers bearing various names (“Newell,” “Laidlaw,” etc.). He comes to his own, finds it unlocked. Inside are his bulletproof vest and helmet. He puts the vest on and raps on the helmet.


Barney (to other guard)
Hey, this is really Kevlar. Real dangerous work here, huh?

This scene doesn't really serve a purpose other than to pay lip service to Newell and co.
Barney's dialogue serves nothing other than to point out that he's a rookie, something that could work better in the earlier scene. Perhaps my biggest gripe with this scene is that is is so identical to the future scene with Gordon Freeman. Since Gordon is to be the hero, it would make more sense to show him suiting up than Barney.

3. LOBBY
Barney walks in and to the front desk. He looks absolutely different in his uniform, almost proud.



Barney
What’ve you got for me?

Desk Guard
Now that’s more like it. But you’re still late. Get on over to C Sector and meet the eggheads’ new recruit.

Barney
Um…okay.

He checks the facility map on the wall and his almost-good mood drops. Sector-C is clear across the tangle of tram lines and maintenance tunnels, on the other side of the facility.


Barney
You’ve got to be kidding me. What’s this guy’s name?

The suspense at the end of the scene works very well, but like I said earlier, Barney needs to be a little more interesting in what he says. For example, I think somthing like "Barney Calhoun, reporting for duty, sir" would tie in with the desk guard's dialogue better than "What've you got for me?" A wise crack would also work better than "Um...okay."

4. SECTOR-C TRAM
Close in on a name tag on a white lab coat: “FREEMAN, G.” Zoom out. Gordon Freeman is sitting at the back corner of the empty tram, a binder of papers sitting on his lap. He looks slightly nervous, looking around and tapping his fingers on the binder. He opens it. Inside, we see the letter of employment from the Half-Life manual, coffee stain and everything. The words from the Half-Life intro start flashing, describing Gordon. He looks up, and we see his face. Green, intelligent eyes. He still looks confused, though. He passes the various places from the tram ride in the Half-Life intro. Of particular interest is a large nuclear missile, being carried by robotic arms. As he watches with a sudden, portentous interest, one robotic arm slips, and the missile jostles a bit. Gordon jumps a bit, but calms himself, smiling grimly at his nervousness.

After traveling through grimy hallways. The car finally arrives at the station. Barney is waiting.


Barney
Mr. Freeman?

Freeman jumps awake, having dozed off.


Gordon
Yes, yes that’s me.


Barney opens the door for him to get out. The two of them walk towards a large, imposing, reinforced door.


Gordon
So…what is it exactly that you people do here?

Barney
Guard people like you.

Gordon
Um…okay, what do we do here?

Barney shrugs. He pushes some buttons on the door’s lock, and it grinds open ominously.

Barney
Welcome to Black Mesa, Mr. Freeman.

Gordon
Thanks… (Looks at Barney’s name tag.)…Mr. Calhoun.

After Gordon walks in, the door slams shut behind him with an echo. He glances back. Nothing happens. He rocks back and forth on his heels for a few moments. Finally, the other door ahead opens. Gordon steps out into…

And, with that, the first words out of Gordon's mouth are: "Yes, yes I am." Unfortunately this seems like kind of a let down. Gordon Freeman's first words should be something memorable. Like the quiet guy in most movies who says nothing before giving a resounding speech, Gordon's words should be treated as if they were sacred. I'm not saying he should be methodical with everything he says, just have something more interesting for his first words. You are breaking the ice if you will.

I always pictured Freeman saying nothing until just after the Resonance Cascade. The Facility is in ruins and he says something comical like "What have I done!?" or "SHIT!!" or "What the **** just happened?" :E

I like Barney's: "Welcome to Black Mesa, Mr. Freeman."

6. SCIENTIST LOCKER ROOM

Gordon finds his locker (right between “Shapiro” and “Culp”), but inside is a note. It says: “Gordon: you’re to report to the Sector-C Test Chamber right away. Get your HEV and hurry up! --K”


Gordon (to himself)
HEV?

A scientist is tying his shoe on other side of the room, exactly as the guard was in the other locker room when Barney walked in.


Scientist
Oh, that’s the Hazardous Environment Suit. Right over there. (Points to the alcove to one side.) You must be with Anomalous Materials. Man, you guys get all the fun toys.

Gordon looks, and sees several Haz-Mat suits hanging on the wall. He walks up and is about to take one down.


Scientist (pointing again)
No, no, over there.

Gordon turns to his right, and sees the larger part of the alcove, that had been hidden from the rest of the locker room until he walked over here. The HEV suit is in its charging station, with two empty chargers on either side. Gordon looks around, sees he is alone. He walks up the short stairs, almost reverent. The glass casing slides down as he approaches, as if responding to his presence…

The last part is brilliant. I love that Gordon's (and the audiences) first look at the HEV suit is placed with so much emphasis.

As for Gordon speaking, its still a little weird. Maybe he could be quickly wolfing down his breakfast the whole time, preventing him from saying a word? At least until we think up something clever for his first words.

7. HALLWAY
Gordon steps out, suited up and everything. Eli Vance is pacing outside (both legs intact…)


Eli
Let’s go.

They start walking hurriedly. Eli hardly glances at Gordon, who is struggling to keep up. The suit looks heavy on him.


Gordon
Hey, you must be Dr. Vance. Good to meet you…

Eli
Save it, Freeman. We’re really late.

Gordon
Okay. What are we doing today? I didn’t bring my notes or anything to write on…

Eli
Anomalous materials handling. You’re doing the heavy lifting, lucky you.

Gordon
Okay…what anomalous materials am I handling?

Eli
We’ll explain later.

In one room they pass, Gordon notices two men engaged in a heated argument across a table. One is white-haired with a beard, and in a lab coat like the rest of them; the other is a familiar government agent who needs no description. His briefcase lies closed between them on the table, but the agent calmly drums his fingers on it much like Gordon was doing earlier on his binder.

You really seem to know how to end a scene.
We've already dealt with Gordon and his speaking, so let's turn to Eli. In terms of pacing this would likely be a good time to explain what is going on. Eli would be the perfect man to brief Gordon about what it is he will be doing in the test chamber. You set this up so that it is likely going to be explained in the next scene, but why not use the opportunity to explain it now? Show Eli as the intelligent and competent individual that he is (especially since Barney and Gordon have been so clueless thus far). :thumbs:



I don't mean to come off as negative. In fact I really like the direction to your work so far. The biggest problems are with the dialogue, but once those are ironed out, then I'd be perfectly happy with this. I look foreward to the next part.

 

[MiccyNarc]

...and Barney already knew Gordon before the incident.

Meh. It's a good script but you shouldn't mess with the plot. Valve had it right.

 

[nosit1]

Very well thought out