New Zealand man 'raped by wombat' claims he now speaks Australian

Kyorisu

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A NEW Zealand man has been sentenced to community work after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak "Australian".
Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.

The orchard worker later called back and said: "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right, you know."

Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours' community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock's life.

http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,23440622-5006301,00.html
 
Dude, if I could get an Australian accent just by being wombat raped, I'd do it.
 
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He was raped by a wombat.
 
Hahaha. ****ing southerners, too much Speights.
 
I kept misreading it as 'raped by woman' until everyone started talking about those damn horny wombats.
 
As one part of a 2 man Wombat enjoyment centre, I approve of this man's claims, as well as the thread title and the fact that it involves wombats and violation.
 
This is complete bullshit. Everybody knows that people LOVE to **** wombats.
 
Goddamn kiwis.

Won't stop shagging their own sheep, now they want our wombats, too?
 
Why and How does a wombat rape you....

Follow you to the pub and wait for you to get drunk, then wait till everything is quiet then dive on you and rape you....:hmph: don't think so...
 
Oh god I wanted to speak "australian".
But I don't want to be raped by a wombat.
What do I do?
 
Try commiting a crime for which you are sentenced to a period in jail.

Aha. They speak like criminals because they are criminals, you see? Excellent.
 
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