On the Topic of Zombies

Lordblackadder

Lordblackadder

Newbie
Joined
May 30, 2003
Messages
601
Reaction score
0
Hello everyone,

So I've been thinking about...zombies, of all things. Not just HL zombies mind you, but all kinds of walking undead which threaten the living.

Basically I question the entire premise of most "zombie" movies on the following glaring, yet ignored oversight.

In any given year only about 2% of a given population dies, and in order to be a threatening zombie, a corpse cannot be much more than a year old, "recently deceased" as Night of the Living Dead put it.

Yet in all "zombie" genere movies, the dead hopelessly outnumber the living. How?

One more point, while corpses in mourges may become a threat, corpses nailed inside of wooden coffins with six feet of dirt on top would have a serious problem getting out.

So at any given time the undead would be outnumbered by the (presumably armed) living by large margins.

Conclusion: only zombies in the "mutated living" sense of 28 Days Later, Half Life and Resident Evil would be able to pose a standard zombie movie situation. The already dead rising back to life just don't have the necessary numbers to execute the scenario.

There. I just wanted to put that out there. :borg:
 
Wheres the quick reply damnit?

Yeah... but dude, its a movie
 
Hurrah! Blackadder is back, glad to have ya back mate :D

Wow, I never actually bothered thinking about Zombie movies like that :p ... anyways, lets all go off and watch 'Ankle Biters' .... THE movie about midget wigga vampires!! :D

/me goes off singing " 3 foot high! 5 Inch fangs!.. etc"

(and nags StarMonkey about the quick reply on IRC ;) )
 
Isn't it in some zombie stories the already dead rise from the ground and then increase their numbers by killing people and having them turn into zombies? It would definatly help them increase their numbers.

Or maybe they have some way of reproducing... Sweet zombie love anyone? :cheese:
 
OK, so tried posting last night but it wouldn't work for some reason.

Anyway, mullinator is right. In a lot of Zombie films, the zombies kill the living who then become zombies because, well, all the dead people are becoming zombies. Then there are films where the zombies simply bite the living, who then turn into zombies. Then of course, the zombies simply kill everyone leaving them in the majority :) So everyone is dead, apart from two guys (one with no last name) and a woman. All sharing a shotgun.

Shotguns and zombies ;( has there ever been something so beautiful?
 
Why, thanks fo your posts.

I guess this goes to show why the living must bear arms at the first sign of a zombie outbreak. :sniper:

I'm glad I could enquireamifficate y'all.

In the interests of helping to keep my fellow HalfLife fans safe from the constant zombie menace I decided to list six sure fire strategies for keeping oneself on the proper side of the Living/Dead equation during a zombie onslaught:

LBA takes a long thoughtful drag on his oak pipe. :smoking: Baldric get your socks out of the fireplace before I have you sold as slave labor to a nude Morroccan sock merchant.

1. Be armed. Never bring a phone with 911 speed dial to a zombie fight.

2. If in a house, take up a high position and start pickin' them off as they get close. Zombies are slow and can't climb.

3. Aim for the head, unfortunately you gotta let them get close enough.

4. If in the open, take advantage of your mobility. Get away from large groups. If small group, seek a safe position and pick them off.

5. Seek to be above ground level when in developed areas. Zombies don't climb so stay high. If in undeveloped areas stay in the open.
Zombies have lousy eyesight and don't move fast. You'll see them first.

6. Comandeer an offroad vehicle.

add your suggestions as you see fit.:thumbs:
 
7. If in a group, take turns watching when sleeping. If alone, seek high ground to sleep on.

8. If possible, try to locate a boat. Zombies don't swim.

:cheers:
 
9. Fear is an aphrodisiac... make sure your scoring partner is NOT, I repeat not, a zombie :)
 
10) Don a Bruce Campbell tone.
11) Aquire a Chainsaw.
 
How about letting them chase you off a cliff.

Actually this is a shameless attempt to put this thread back to the first page.:bounce:
 
Originally posted by Lordblackadder
How about letting them chase you off a cliff.
Click to expand...

that could work.. if you learnt how to fly :)

maybe setting them on fire?
that didnt work so well in Return of the Living Dead, but it should work on most zombies.. just try to get out of their way til they're crisp
 
Originally posted by Mackan
that could work.. if you learnt how to fly :)

maybe setting them on fire?
that didnt work so well in Return of the Living Dead, but it should work on most zombies.. just try to get out of their way til they're crisp
Click to expand...

As I said this is all just an attempt to get this thread back to page 1.:bounce: :cheers: :eek: :cheese:
 
yeah i know, i was trying to help out
and i hadnt replied to this thread, even tho im a rabid zombieoholic, so i thought it was about time i said something :)
 
zombieholocs ananymous.

Did you read the original post dealing with the zombie issue, as a fellow zombieholic, what do you think?
 
Originally posted by Lordblackadder
How about letting them chase you off a cliff.

Actually this is a shameless attempt to put this thread back to the first page.:bounce:
Click to expand...


Sounds suspiciously like a rip off from Tremors.

Anyway, the Zombies in 28 days later moved pretty fast.

What you need, is a shotgun...ok so a Humvee with a 50 cal would be nice as well. Even better would be a tank, i mean honestly whats a zombie gonna do other than wear its fingers down clawing at the armour?

Make sure you have some pr0n mags handy for when you find the house full of male soldiers :)
 
The zombies in 28 days are actually living people but insane.

This means they're easier to kill, no need of headshot, just pop'em any ol' way. Cause they're still alive.:bounce:
 
Well, they are still zombies. Zombie doesn't mean living dead, thats just one example. But in some ways they might be easier to kill, in others not. If you don't hit somewhere which will actually kill then, they will keep coming because the rage is driving them on. They are also using their bodies to the full potential in that they just keep running, and running very fast to.
 
I think in 28 days later the zombies are worse, they are more savage and alot faster then the common zombie. I know which i'd rather face.

Also they seem to totally ignore pain and this would make them almost as durable as normal zombies:eek:
 
I think, the Halflife zombies would be the best to fight, i mean that would be fun you have to admit....if they weren't your friends anyway.

Just get a shotgun or a big machine-gun and play around for a while. Or even get in the Humvee and start running them down.

If i had to fight any alien/zombie/etc they would be my choice :)
 
(this is in reply to the first post)
well i think you got a good point there
it all depends on how they are reanimated i guess..
most zombies falls under two categories, either they function with the brain, or without.. some zombies can be killed by getting rid of the brain, while some zombies work just fine without it
so, for example the "return of"-zombies are still alive even after you chop them up to small pieces.. similar to the zombies in braindead, even tho they arent to the extreme as in "return of.. "
i guess the zombies in return of are pretty unique since they can be animated even after they are dead.. in most movies you must be alive to become a zombie.. so that kinda make them fall under different rules when it comes to their reanimation..
dont really know how they can function without their muscles and nerves and such.. im guessing the substance that they was exposed to animated every cell in their body and that made it work without its vital components
so with that in mind it aint so strange that theres so many zombie reanimated in such a short time.. as long as there is some flesh left on the body, they can be reanimated

in other movies tho, most zombies are created by other zombies infecting already living people.. so there only needs to be a small amount of zombies to start with, and then it spreads really fast

but it should be pretty easy for the living to beat the zombies.. atlest initially, before it goes out of hand.. often they dont act in time tho, and then its allready too late

and how fun would that be if they killed the first zombie and everyone lived happily ever after? ;)
 
Well a small group of zombies is only sufficient when the living are ... UNARMED.

Bwahahahaha!! I had to get the last word!:bounce: :bounce: :cheers: :cheese:
 
yeah but thats the whole point
in the begining theres always a small group of people that are attacked by the zombies.. most often collegestudents.. even more often female students with very tearable clothes

Bwahahahaha!! I had to get the last word!
Click to expand...

we'll see about that! im the master of last-wording!
:p
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Krynn72
You guys, what the **** is up.
Replies
11
Views
2K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
TechnoHippyChic
The Many Diversions of THC's Work Lunches
Replies
3
Views
2K
TechnoHippyChic
TechnoHippyChic
Lizardizzle
2019: The year of Half-Life SFX videos
Replies
4
Views
2K
Ennui
Ennui
MFL
Fascinating look at the ongoing psychological evolution of flat hieirarchies.
Replies
2
Views
2K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
B
From Warren Spector to Arkane Studios: Half-Life 2's cancelled Ravenholm episode
Replies
2
Views
10K
Clan Wolf 2
Clan Wolf 2
Back
Top