Sulkdodds
The Freeman
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2003
- Messages
- 18,846
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- 27
Okay. The idea of this thread is that you just write something, spontaneously, on the spur of the moment, without any forethought, and post it.
Everyone else then comments and gives constructive criticism on the (very) short stories that are posted.
Since this is HL2.net, and to make it easier, it has to be part of the HL universe. HL1 or 2, doesn't matter. So, here's mine, with no forethought at all:
Post your comments and your writing!
Everyone else then comments and gives constructive criticism on the (very) short stories that are posted.
Since this is HL2.net, and to make it easier, it has to be part of the HL universe. HL1 or 2, doesn't matter. So, here's mine, with no forethought at all:
They're coming over the rubble now, advancing between the burnt-out car skeletons and scrambling over the wreckage. Behind them, machineguns open up, covering the assault, clattering buzzsaws biting chunks out of the walls.
Sutton squints. The prayer hums in his ears.
They're dangerously close. Taking hits but still coming, down the long street, over barbed wire and tank traps.
He keeps on mumbling, the litany rising.
A head aligns with the centre of his scope, one red cyclops eye staring, for a moment, into death.
The litany reaches its peak and Sutton pulls the trigger. The head jolts backwards, a trail of red, and the long, toneless beep sounds. Flatline.
Fingers scrabble at the catch, twist, yank it backwards with a clank. The rifle cocked, he aims again, fires again, hears the beep stretch itself across the barren concrete canyon, echoing off the blasted walls.
And now they're spilling into the trenches, and the rebels are dying, and suddenly Sutton is up and racing right at that line of chattering death, ducking the MG fire and vaulting over a sandbag wall. Vision blurs, and he tumbles, into the trench and slams against the wall. Takes out his pistol. Starts breathing again.
"Counterattack!" shouts someone. "They're in the trench!"
Dirty faces rush grimly past him and he follows them. Round a corner and the first man falls with a crack. Everybody backs up agains the dirt walls, huddling below the line of fire.
A grenade is passed along the line of rebels; the last man in the chain primes it and sends it spinning around the trench corner. Sutton counts one, two, three, and a fountain of mud thrusts upwards. The rebels charge round the corner, firing.
Now he follows, and sees the Combine troops scrambling back out of the trench. They can't outrun the bullets, and they fall, their flak vests suddenly pockmarked. The rebels space out along the trench, reclaiming it, retaking their firing positions. Sutton slumps backwards against the mud wall, his throat sore, and realise he's been screaming the whole time.
Peeking over the lip of the trench; looking down the street at the distant Combine position. Thump of a strider in the distance.
For now, all is quiet.
Then the machineguns open up again. Sutton grabs a dead man's rifle and jams the butt to his shoulder.
Post your comments and your writing!