Valvetime Anonymous Confessions

[Eejit]

I would be much Rhodesia to get this thread back on topic if we stopped making silly puns.

 

[Sliver]

I created red herring pastebins just to disrupt the valvetime ARG. Multiple people seemed to have went for them, lol.

Ever since I was about 5 years old, I wanted a toilet outside so I could poop in nature.

I once stole a coat from the Berlington Coat Factory.

If this is another pun that I just can't identify because it's so late consider it the last. Unless I think of another funny one.

edit: Because at this point you're all just jerkin off.

 

[MuToiD_MaN]

I read through all these posts and no new confessions. I feel Egypt.

EDIT: Lol, Sliver delivered while I was a-cookin' up a pun post.

 

[Krynn72]

If this is another pun that I just can't identify because it's so late consider it the last.

Damn, I forgot quotes were automatically italicized. I should have used [ b][/b] instead.

 

[Sliver]

Aaand we're back with quite a lengthy confession.

one morning before going to work i was watching tv eating some cereal. The night before I had a bad stomach all night needing to go to the toilet. When eating I felt some major gas in my gut and i thought i could safely push it out, when unfortunately i followed through. Big time.

I stood up right away and waddled upstairs only making it halfway before I dropped my suit trousers to my ankles and ran to the toilet. I dropped my underwear and it was carnage, i left them on the floor (but threw them away when I got home). After some clean-up I found my trousers on the stairs, tucked in my shirt and ran to finish my ceral. I was late now.

I walked down to the station and caught my train to work. I got lucky in rush hour and found a seat. When I sat down i felt it. Wet. I realised in my waddle half way upstairs, the contents of my underpants had leeched through onto the trousers (and my shirt which i had tucked in). I got off at my stop and pulled my shirt out to see a large brown stain. didn't smell good either. Trousers wet through too. I jumped on the train back home asap, stood up all the way even though lots of seats were empty. I called work on the way home to say I would be late.

When I got back to work it was fine until lunch. A girl I worked with had saw me get in on time and go back home and saw me turn around a pull my shirt out in the street outside the station. She was quite a forward girl, happy to talk about anything embarrassing and i'm a real prude. She simply said "Did you shit yourself?" to which i had to admit i had. Never let go unless you're sure its safe.

 

[ktimekiller]

****ing great, "did you shit yourself?"

Id be dying of embarrassment.

Last time I shat myself was when I was maybe 7-8. GAWD awful experience.

 

[JUL3]

That reminds me of a comedian I saw recently. He told similar stories of the 3 times in his adult life where he had shit himself.
Funny shit. : )

 

[Dinnesch]

I created red herring pastebins just to disrupt the valvetime ARG. Multiple people seemed to have went for them, lol.

I think I wasted over an hour trying to find a clue in those. **** you anonymous.

 

[Danny_ZQ]

I just noticed his name is Sliver and not Silver.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

After noticing this a long time ago, I refuse to call him anything but Silver.

Also wtf @ shit story. Like how does that even happen?