Where did I go wrong with this girl?

Dynasty

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So,

I was in town today grabbing some sales stuff, and decided to go into my bank and get some advice on savings, and what to do about my current 'graduate' account. So after 20 mins of waiting and numerous ''would a CA please come to the pod'' announcements to get someone to see me, a slightly skinny yet curvy woman walks over with a cute smile and asks if I am Mr *insert surname*.

We walk through to her own office, she closes the door and I take a seat. We go through the whole introductions thing, how can she help me etc, and after a few minutes of chatting about why I'm there etc, I cant help but notice how well we seem to be getting along. She's smiling at me almost constantly, we're talking about more than just my account; she noticed my 'balance is quite high at the moment.', and my outgoings seem minimal and she was intrigued, so I explained I had been working overseas last year and I didnt have a mortgage yet etc, and that I would be part of generation rent for the next few years most likely so I wouldnt need to look into the gold or silver accounts she mentioned as that covers things like house insurance, phone insurance etc.

A few clicks of her mouse and she beams at me asking me how my time abroad was and where I went. When I told her, she seemed extremely interested, asking more than the usual questions you'd expect.

As I was asking her probing, more personal questions, we were laughing, smiling at each other the whole time, loads of eye contact, I did a quick glance when she was looking at her screen and saw no ring, so I upped the flirting a bit asking her personal questions back, began to be a bit cocky but keeping it fun, and she was smiling and almost giggling in a way. Slightly nerdy looking girl with glasses, but so damn sweet, and I'd guess late 20s, most likely early 30s, so about 5 years older than me.

TL : DR

I had nothing to lose when we finished up, and as I got up she mentioned how busy it was out in town and how she came in the other day and felt almost claustrophobic at how many people there were, I smiled and agreed and then said ''Well I'm sure your boyfriend had fun keeping you safe.'' with a slight, sly smile on my face to keep it fun (as a subtle way of asking if she had a boyfriend), and instantly felt my face go a bit red with embarrassment for asking (god damn it). She hesitated for about 2 seconds whilst looking me right in the eyes, gave out a forced laugh, looked down and back up at me and said ''Uhh..yeah, he couldnt wait to leave either..'', almost sounding as if she didnt know what to say as she had almost no conviction in her voice, making me think it was a white lie.

Did I blow any chances I had with her? As I walked out the door I turned and said ''Thanks again for your time, you're truly lovely...'' (deliberately said 'you're' instead of 'you were') and I could see by her facial expression that I had just made her day. She had a face like girls do when they see someone do something romantic in the films and they come over all lovey-dubby with the stereotypical ''Awwwww.''

For about 3/4 of the time I was in that room I was thinking of a way to ask her out when I left.

Should I have asked for a pen and paper at some point, wrote down my number etc and handed it to her on the way out, not giving her time to react and see what happens? (ie if she called/text/emailed me later).

Should I have flat out asked her out to drinks/coffee, and if that made her uncomfortable say something like ''It's just coffee love, not a marriage proposal.'' in a fun way, and if she said she had a boyfriend say ''That's sweet.'' or ''Well that's too bad, for you I mean.''

Did I crash and burn or did I not have a chance in the first place? I just cant see where I went wrong.

She knew I was relatively 'young' (too young for her maybe?) as I graduated almost 3 years ago and she must have seen my DOB on her screen as my details were infront of her, she knew I was living at home (again, enhancing her possible though that I was too young for her?) due to wanting to save as much as possible, but she also knew what I did for a living and that I lived and worked in the same town.

I'm hating being single again, been single for..quite a few months now. Been off my game for what feels like ages, and I know there are of course plenty of other great women out there, just felt a bit down after saying goodbye to her. Confused as to whether it was rejection or if she genuinely was letting me down gently as she DID have a boyfriend.

I'm such a **ssy at this and it's driving me nuts, as my 2 other girlfriends have always come onto me, so I'm not great at asking women out on a whim, unless I prepare myself before hand and know her first.
 
Most likely explanation: She was having a fun time chatting with you with no romantic interest. There was nothing to blow, not every woman who smiles at you wants to **** you and get the **** over yourself.
 
wherent you dynasty a woman? or are you a lesbian?
 
the TL;DR part is longer than the regular part :|
 
Hey bud. I heard a quote recently that really touches on this.. "cowardice." I'll call it even though it's not really because you were being flirty and whatnot.. anyway.

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”
 
Go back to the bank and ask the girl if you can make a deposit in her slip.
 
Most likely explanation: She was having a fun time chatting with you with no romantic interest. There was nothing to blow, not every woman who smiles at you wants to **** you and get the **** over yourself.

This.

She was probably just a really friendly assistant at the bank. Women (and men) are friendly with me all the time at banks and in shops etc, they're told to be friendly to keep customers coming back and feel like they get a good service, nothing to get a boner over.

Or you could have just kissed her...

As expected, great responses from the ''we know girls, really.'' crowd at HL2.net

Kissing, whilst easy, is frankly everything when it comes to women. You know that ***king excellent cure for the will to live song ''It's in his kiss.'' by that cross-dresser Cher? Well, as much as we mock women for it, it is 100% true.

The way you kiss, makes or breaks your chance at anything with the woman. .
 
A few clicks of her mouse and she beams at me asking me how my time abroad was and where I went. When I told her, she seemed extremely interested, asking more than the usual questions you'd expect.

Sorry this is as far as I could retain my interest, but this line screams to me that she's just really good at her job. Customers like to feel special. :v
 
hey guys today at school the guidance counselor said i was special do you think i have a shot???
 
As long as it hasn't been an incredibly long time since this happened, I see no reason why you shouldn't go back and give it a shot. Worst thing that can happen is she says no, and nothing has changed.

She hesitated for about 2 seconds whilst looking me right in the eyes, gave out a forced laugh, looked down and back up at me and said ''Uhh..yeah, he couldnt wait to leave either..'', almost sounding as if she didnt know what to say as she had almost no conviction in her voice, making me think it was a white lie.
From the way you told it, it sounds like she was dumped, and none too kindly.


Most likely explanation: She was having a fun time chatting with you with no romantic interest. There was nothing to blow, not every woman who smiles at you wants to **** you and get the **** over yourself.
LALALALALALALALALA
 
Forgive me if I'm missing something hidden somewhere in the voluminous text that comprises the 'TLDR' portion of your post, but it seems like you did pretty well. When you mentioned her boyfriend (perhaps, by now, her ex) you probably touched some sort of nerve, but you can't know what, and clearly that wasn't enough to stop her responding well to your parting shot. I would suspect she either A) hates her current boyfriend, B) has just broken up with her boyfriend, or C) has no boyfriend and is angsty about it. Your mission now should be to think of a nice, witty, romantic way to ask her out and then do it. If you know her name, you could write her a little note and ask someone else at the bank to make sure it gets to her. What's the worst that could happen?
 
What's the worst that could happen?

She could say no and the world would be over forever.


But seriously, go back and see if she's there/make chat and ask her to coffee. Sounds like you done everything else right thus far.
 
Well if I've learned anything lately it's that you should never make assumptions about how someone feels about you. If you're going to do anything, just make sure it isn't drastic.
 
I would suspect she either A) hates her current boyfriend, B) has just broken up with her boyfriend, or C) has no boyfriend and is angsty about it.

or D) She was taken aback by the obvious and poorly disguised enquiry into her relationship status and didn't know how to react to a customer coming on to her.
 
or D) She was taken aback by the obvious and poorly disguised enquiry into her relationship status and didn't know how to react to a customer coming on to her.

The most likely explanation. She was probably trying to stay professional about it. Either that or you look like a gargoyle.
 
There was nothing to blow, not every woman who smiles at you wants to **** you and get the **** over yourself.
Yup.

If you thought she was interested in you, then she's doing her job right.

The worldly hl2.net strikes again. Next thread: "Why don't prostitutes want to stay and chat after? Is it my looks?"
 
Is this REALLY how people from the UK talk? Are you ALL movie caricatures or something?!

I can't say I'd ever say anything like this. Pretty sure you'd get a slap for saying something like that to most girls too.
 
If you thought she was interested in you, then she's doing her job right.

Personally I prefer public servants to be cold professionals, rather than act like "friendly" ass kissers.
 
lol at thinking the friendly girl at the bank is flirting with you.

This is like Daxflame talking about the life guard at the top of the water slide telling the kids when to go. "If you love me say go" and she said go! YES!
 
Personally I prefer public servants to be cold professionals, rather than act like "friendly" ass kissers.
Public servant...? She's a bank clerk. Her job is to get money from you. Men are more likely to fork over illogical amounts of cash to a friendly woman. C.f. waitresses.
 
I work in an office of mostly women.

Trust me, they're just really nice, either for appearances or because they are really nice.
 
Public servant...? She's a bank clerk.

It's an approximation of a term we use over here to refer to anyone that has a job which involves direct interaction with customers (bank clerk, post office worker, sales person, etc.)
 
As has been outlined previously, she's probably just good at her job. She wants people to like her and feel special so she gets good feedback which impresses her higher-ups. As much as I'd hate to burst your bubble, one encounter with someone whose job is to work with people (the customer, you) is nowhere near enough to accurately gauge their relationship with you. They probably deal with tonnes and tonnes of people every week and out of all those people, you're probably not anything spectacularly out of the ordinary.

The only way you'd know would be if you ever met her while she wasn't "on duty" or if you managed (somehow) to make seeing her a regular thing - in which case you might get to know her on a more personal level.

But I wouldn't count your chickens, depressing as it may sound.
 
Don't mean to sour your mood but to me that just sounds like "professional friendliness", the type of thing people do to avoid sitting in deafening silence. By your thinking, the last time I visited a bank I was chatted up by a 50 year old bald bloke.
 
lol at this thread shitting all over dynasty's aspirations to get with this girl
 
HL2.net: Ruining your hopes and dreams since 2004!
 
YOU WILL DIE ALONE AND AFRAID okay hope this was constructive hit me up for advice on a good realdoll~
 
Hey, Dynasty, look on the bright side, you can't be as poorly off as me. I go to an engineering school where the population is 15% women (we call them heifers for a reason, I might add). Even the parties with 'a lot' of girls still have no hot girls, and at least 50% of said girls are not from our university. If I want a good party I have to go to a party at a neighboring school, but **** me if I have an 'in' to one of those.
 
Should I have flat out asked her out to drinks/coffee, and if that made her uncomfortable say something like ''It's just coffee love, not a marriage proposal.'' in a fun way, and if she said she had a boyfriend say ''That's sweet.'' or ''Well that's too bad, for you I mean.''

Did I crash and burn or did I not have a chance in the first place? I just cant see where I went wrong.

She knew I was relatively 'young' (too young for her maybe?) as I graduated almost 3 years ago and she must have seen my DOB on her screen as my details were infront of her, she knew I was living at home (again, enhancing her possible though that I was too young for her?) due to wanting to save as much as possible, but she also knew what I did for a living and that I lived and worked in the same town.

I'm hating being single again, been single for..quite a few months now. Been off my game for what feels like ages, and I know there are of course plenty of other great women out there, just felt a bit down after saying goodbye to her. Confused as to whether it was rejection or if she genuinely was letting me down gently as she DID have a boyfriend.

I'm such a **ssy at this and it's driving me nuts, as my 2 other girlfriends have always come onto me, so I'm not great at asking women out on a whim, unless I prepare myself before hand and know her first.

'Well I'm sure your boyfriend had fun keeping you safe.'' ---- you shouldn't have said this. made you look weak. you should have just asked her out, and if it made her uncomfortable in which case you should've said ****in forget it.
 
Where you went wrong is you didn't kiss her. You have to kiss them before they break eye contact. Next time just lunge, kiss, grab wrists, and keep kissing until she stops struggling and starts crying in happiness. That's when all the whore-smiles and flirting finally add up. I can't believe you didn't act on all those obvious signals.
 
Where you went wrong is you didn't kiss her. You have to kiss them before they break eye contact. Next time just lunge, kiss, grab wrists, and keep kissing until she stops struggling and starts crying in happiness. That's when all the whore-smiles and flirting finally add up. I can't believe you didn't act on all those obvious signals.

Enjoy your sexual harassment charges, and restraining order.
 
Lol, imagining Dynasty making the "She wants my cock!" meme face
 
Whenever I meet a woman who's flirty with me, but I don't want to ask out there and then, I just tell her that she's the kind of woman I'll make an internet forum thread about later.
 
Whether she does or doesn't have a boyfriend is secondary as to whether she'd say go for a cup of coffee (lets start slow). 'I don't mean to come across as forward but you're very charming and I was wondering if perhaps you'd be interested in going for a cup of coffee sometime? ' Essentially you're giving her a polite out on the conversation in the event that she's 1) not really interested 2) has a boyfriend.

I'd say the awkwardness was indicative that she was being friendly nothing more, so I'd chalk it up to experience Din.
 
'Well I'm sure your boyfriend had fun keeping you safe.'' ---- you shouldn't have said this. made you look weak. you should have just asked her out, and if it made her uncomfortable in which case you should've said ****in forget it.

ya sounds really awkward and reeks of fishing for whether she has a boyfriend or not. She probably didnt expect it because up to that point she was being professional (I go bank on regular basis for work and I have light/personal conversations with tellers/staff all the time). just because she's nice and not all business like doesnt mean she wants to ride your baloney pony
 
You lost all your confidence when you asked about her boyfriend (that was stupid in itself) and she immediately read that and turned you down. Just man up and and tell her you think shes cute and if you can get her number next time. None of this "so your husband.. tee hee.. he must think youre great??" crap.


'I don't mean to come across as forward but you're very charming and I was wondering if perhaps you'd be interested in going for a cup of coffee sometime? '

Have you really ever spoken this way in person? I mean seriously now. Just be aggressive (that doesnt mean weird or rude) and get her attention. "Hey girl, I think you're pretty cute, can I get your number?"
 
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