A first grader killed himself.

Gray Fox

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I don’t know how school works else ware but here in Holland you go to the elementary school until your 11/13 year, and then you go to the high school , now in my high school we have 6 grades, I’m in the 6th now.

Now there was a kid in the first in my school who I heard committed suicide just yesterday, he jumped in front of a train.

I didn’t know him nor do I ever remember seeing him in school. But so he killed himself. I don’t know this year the first graders were really hyperactive, more than last years, you know they run around the whole time, jump, fight(not for real, but as a game), the girls are particularly strong. Here we don’t pick/tease them, I know that is a tradition in other counties. But I don’t know they are just you know still kids, we see them and we laugh at the fact that we were like that then. You know we see then as little cocky, bright, full of ambition first graders, who still have hoop and our not yet broken by the teachers ;)

I don’t know it’s just hard to imagine them as deep thinkers. So he killed himself. I just can’t stop thinking about it now, I haven’t talked to any of my friends at school about what I think, I just feel more comfortable on these boards talking about what I think.

Well in any case the thing I’m trying to say is. What do you think went trough him. I mean did he jump or stand in front of the train. Why did he do it, he is still so young. And do you think he had second thoughts, you like you are standing there, just before the train hits you and you know I guess then is the first time you truly feel your life, truly think clearly, maybe just before the train hit him he found his peace, maybe he just found the solution to his problem, just to late, you think about it. Did his life flash before him. I mean what did he think about, did he think about his family, his friends. Did he have any, I mean maybe he was teased a lot and his parents didn’t help him or made it worse you know. We have a condolence book in school and his class is informed, But what if they did treat him bad, and his parent. I mean he stood there just before the train hit him or he jumped. Did he have any decent thoughts to think about before he died, I mean was at least granted the decency by whatever to dye decently, you know, did he dye just in anger, despair, maybe he thought about a clear summer day once when he was young, maybe he was at least giving the millisecond of happiness before he died, do you think.

Maybe I’m insane, you know I didn’t cry in a war, I didn’t cry when my two grandpa’s and grandma died. I know there are people being killed horribly all over the world, and there are people living in horribly circumstances. Bu suicide is different, when you are killed you die with the love of your friends or family most of the time, I mean a death is a death. But taking your own life is different it just is. I mean people call suicide cowardly, I don’t think it that way. I mean it would be easier for me to jump in to house on fire to save a someone or so that to kill yourself. I mean for suicide you not only kill yourself, but you kinda dye with the world against you, and I mean he was just so young, why was his world against him, I mean what could he have done.

I just don’t know how to explain what I think good, and I didn’t make this to get questions, I just felt like telling my thoughts. I’m going to go now, I need to bathe and I have a lot of homework, I’ll come later.
 
maybe he lacked attention from his parents .
it could as a result of depression.
it could be just an accident.
How did they know it was a suicide? did anybody see him jump purposely in front of the train?

I think i know what you're trying to say.. You mean he could have tried to make a difference or acheive something very usefull to others by sacrificing his life than just simply wasting it like that. am i right?

Poor kid. He didnt value his life. tsk! tsk!
 
He could suffer from manical deppression along with panic attacks, social phobia and as a result of this he thought that life would never get better and commited the huge misstake of taking his life when he had so much left of it.

Btw you're not weird, I never cry when people die unless it's of unnatural causes, I mean comeon, death is a part of life, sure it's "sad" but why cry over it when it'll ALWAYS be there? I saw a documentary on Discovery with this brittish guy at 30 years old that looked like a 5 year old, he died 2k3, but his story was really sad, anyway, he said something like "Death is a part of life, so why not celebrate it like a birthday?" and that's pretty much my oppinion on it, in one way a normal death can be viewed as your last birthday, when I die I want my funeral to be happy with people enjoying the party, not a bunch of people wearing dark clothes and some priest rambling some bullshit for cash...
 
What an asshole for jumping in front of a train, gives a lot of unnecessary trauma's to people. If you want to kill yourself, fine, do it quietly damnit.

PS: You did it right. Suicide threads go in Offtopic (sorry, little Fenric reference :p)
 
PvtRyan said:
What an asshole for jumping in front of a train, gives a lot of unnecessary trauma's to people.
Exactly, most "young" people who commit suicide doesn't realize how much they scar their family, friends, relatives, everyone close to them pretty much, that's the thing that stopped my suicide attempts, realized it when a friend of mine commited suicide ironically enough, odd that his death helped me being saved from the same fate.
 
Gargantou said:
Exactly, most "young" people who commit suicide doesn't realize how much they scar their family, friends, relatives, everyone close to them pretty much, that's the thing that stopped my suicide attempts, realized it when a friend of mine commited suicide ironically enough, odd that his death helped me being saved from the same fate.

That too ;)

But I pointed more towards the guy driving the train, and the passengers, who must witness some "oh I can't take it anymore" jackass splattering himself all over the front of the train. I mean, that's really selfish. Not to mention the delays this would cause :dozey:

There's a notorious train track somewhere here that's near some sort of shelter for psycho's (for the lack of a better word) and every once in a time, one of those twats throws himself in front of a train.
 
thats make me feel better
but dont think bad

I am not to happy whit my life,but I never wanted to suicide,but still I am sad whit some things in my life and I just feel very bad,but still I hav friends and people that give some of happynes in my life so I just realize that I should not be so sad about it

still thats was sad
 
http://www.erasmiaans.nl/, is my schools site, click on "Laatste Nieuws"
and you'll see his picture. It was taken 2 months or so before he died.

If I would say I will go on a journey,
asked the ant the squirrel,
will you be sad.

Toon Tellegen
I don't know if you get this poem, no matter.

What an asshole for jumping in front of a train, gives a lot of unnecessary trauma's to people. If you want to kill yourself, fine, do it quietly damnit.

Common there is no need to say something terrible as that, I mean I know where you're comming from, I know that a machinist after years of controlling a train quit cause 9 people allready jumped in front of him and it left him emotionaly scarred. i don't know I guess I would drown myself,
I know it's painfull, I like the feel of the water, the way it flows besides my body, that would be the thing I would like to experince last.
But common my point is this:
I think i know what you're trying to say.. You mean he could have tried to make a difference or acheive something very usefull to others by sacrificing his life than just simply wasting it like that. am i right?
And suicide, I don't know how to explain it better than i tried, but I mean also look at him, most of us played in that time, had no actual concept of death and never thought seriously about death. But he, I eman he did it on a monday, you was he sad in the weekend, but maybe had hope, and tha twas destroyed on monday when he faced reality, suicide can't be compared to any other death, you can't just say he's am asshole, i mean I don't mind death and I certainly know that it's a part of life, but everyone deserves dignity on death, did he. I don't know, idon't lnow. Why would he feel he had to end his life. What if he din't have last thought what if he was just mad, what if he was just sad, what if he wasn't givin the last dignity in death, by the world. Quality of life is important, and he had a short and pretty bad life it seems to me. I just need to know what his last thought was before he died, or at least what kind it was, that is the most important thought in our lifes, that is the thought that determines a lot about us, what if it happend so fast he wan't givin a last thought, what if he never got a chance even in death. this hurst my head i need a little rest now.
 
I wish people would stop using trains as mobile suicide units. It's bad enough that adults do it- maybe we need an education scheme covering the dos and don'ts of suicide. One of these days suicide will probably be legalised and regulated by a government authority...

It's quite possible that he wasn't depressed, just not entirely aware of the consequences of flinging himself in front of a train (well, possibly). Children as a whole are very impulsive- it's a tragedy that's as confusing as it is harrowing.
 
Grey Fox said:
Well in any case the thing I’m trying to say is. What do you think went through him.


(to self) Don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything...
 
Edcrab said:
I wish people would stop using trains as mobile suicide units.
Yeah, or cars. How about the people operating these things that have no time to do anything about it? They'll feel guilty forever.

Anyway though, that sucks. There must be someone who has an idea as to why he would have done it.
 
:( Thats really sad. What a terrible loss.

There is always something to live for, if not for yourself, then someone else. However bad i felt, i couldnt put my familly through a suicide.
 
oldagerocker said:
:( Thats really sad. What a terrible loss.

There is always something to live for, if not for yourself, then someone else. However bad i felt, i couldnt put my familly through a suicide.



I remember once when I was younger I was really really despresed and saw a bottle of demestos... I just thought to myself. That would probably work. Then I kind of snapped out of it when I realised I couldnt make my mum and dad go through that.

Its one of my most vivid memories. :(



But yeah, glad I didnt. I am fine now. :)

EDIT: Funny... Ive never ever told anyone that. :)
 
PvtRyan said:
What an asshole for jumping in front of a train, gives a lot of unnecessary trauma's to people. If you want to kill yourself, fine, do it quietly damnit.

PS: You did it right. Suicide threads go in Offtopic (sorry, little Fenric reference :p)

well...the kid was pretty young...so i mean if u were expecting the kid to do something other than jumping in front of the train...well i only have to point to his age to tell u he didn't think about it as much as i guess one should.

edit: its sad...i am at a loss for words.
 
I don't know, they just told us at school it's suicide, and how it happend. But they didn't tell us how they know, maybe he wrote something or people saw it happen.
 
Grey Fox said:
I don't know, they just told us at school it's suicide, and how it happend. But they didn't tell us how they know, maybe he wrote something or people saw it happen.


Yeah...

The thing is for me, is that lots of kids play on the tracks and do stupid things in front of trains.
 
There was the story of someone who parked his car in front of an oncoming train. The train derailed and killed several passengers and the train driver, as well as the suicidal car driver.
In the majority of cases suicide is a selffish action, it fails to take into consideration other people. I'm sure everyone's had suicidal thoughts before, but that's just part of depression. The important thing is realising it's one of the worst answers to the problem.
And it is selffish because....in the above case, they dont consider or care about who else dies with them...so they could be classed as a manslaughterer the moment they die.
They fail to see how their family and friends will be affected.
And all those random people. Who saw their internal organs splatter everywhere. Who's got to clean that blood off off the train? Who's got to goto the police station to make eyewitness statements...etc etc.
 
If iw as actually suicide, that's awful. No-one who is too young to have know true pain or terrible experiences should be depressed enough to do something that drastic. I just hope he believed he was going to somewhere better...
 
kirovman said:
There was the story of someone who parked his car in front of an oncoming train. The train derailed and killed several passengers and the train driver, as well as the suicidal car driver.
In the majority of cases suicide is a selffish action, it fails to take into consideration other people. I'm sure everyone's had suicidal thoughts before, but that's just part of depression. The important thing is realising it's one of the worst answers to the problem.
And it is selffish because....in the above case, they dont consider or care about who else dies with them...so they could be classed as a manslaughterer the moment they die.
They fail to see how their family and friends will be affected.
And all those random people. Who saw their internal organs splatter everywhere. Who's got to clean that blood off off the train? Who's got to goto the police station to make eyewitness statements...etc etc.

I once saw a programme about the police at a station, in London I think. Anyway, some of the problems they had to deal with were people jumping in front of the trains. They themselves had the clar up the mess, and it was pretty disgusting the way they just walked along the tracks (Quite a long way in fact) picking up small pieces of human being. People on the platform were showered in body parts and the drivers were traumatised.
 
I kid that was in my class grade 1-3 was overrun by a truck a few years back. I remember that it felt really weird....
 
kirovman said:
There was the story of someone who parked his car in front of an oncoming train. The train derailed and killed several passengers and the train driver, as well as the suicidal car driver.
In the majority of cases suicide is a selffish action, it fails to take into consideration other people. I'm sure everyone's had suicidal thoughts before, but that's just part of depression. The important thing is realising it's one of the worst answers to the problem.
And it is selffish because....in the above case, they dont consider or care about who else dies with them...so they could be classed as a manslaughterer the moment they die.
They fail to see how their family and friends will be affected.
And all those random people. Who saw their internal organs splatter everywhere. Who's got to clean that blood off off the train? Who's got to goto the police station to make eyewitness statements...etc etc.

yeah i remember that, Suicide is no way to go whatsoever.... it's cowardly, live life, and if it doesnt go your way, so be it.
 
Suicide is the only type of death where you are in complete control. You arrange the date, the time, and the method of disposal. It is because of this that I don't really feel affected by suicides. I still think it's wrong.

Killing yourself takes a lot of courage, because deep down you know that if you screw it up, you're in for a lot of suffering. Being hit by a train would have been one of my last choices because if the train isn't going fast enough, or you chicken out at the last moment...it's just not a sure thing.

Where exactly did this kid get hit? Was it at the station? Out in the open? If a kid is able to get onto the tracks, what's preventing other animals from wandering on the tracks too?

Food for thought.
 
A True Canadian said:
Suicide is the only type of death where you are in complete control. You arrange the date, the time, and the method of disposal. It is because of this that I don't really feel affected by suicides. I still think it's wrong.

Killing yourself takes a lot of courage, because deep down you know that if you screw it up, you're in for a lot of suffering. Being hit by a train would have been one of my last choices because if the train isn't going fast enough, or you chicken out at the last moment...it's just not a sure thing.

Where exactly did this kid get hit? Was it at the station? Out in the open? If a kid is able to get onto the tracks, what's preventing other animals from wandering on the tracks too?

Food for thought.

train is a bad choise for another reason too, think how the guy driving the train feels...
 
This kid was obviously weak, along with anyone else who wants to commit suicide. I'm telling you, just realize that "theres no point in solving the problem if you almost eliminate the need to solve it", and you will never need to commit suicide.
 
I saw an article on the news or something about how a ton of train drivers had quit over things like this. Ironically it's probably twice as traumatic as anything the kid was going through at the time (although no doubt there'll be a few who just speed up and turn the wipers on :p).

When I was in high school (think I was about 15), this little asian kid stepped infront of a truck out by the bus stops. It wasn't suicide or anything but he was part of this group that used to play handball on the quad just by where me and my mates sat. He seemed like a bright kid, he was probably the only one that didn't cuss at us when we chucked their ball over into the courts :D
 
h00dlum said:
train is a bad choise for another reason too, think how the guy driving the train feels...

Too true. Not only that but if he was lying on the railing the train could have derailed. It would have been even worse if it was on a bridge. :O
 
Very terrible news. I don't really know what to say. I remember when I was in ninth grade, or about 14 yrs old. The father of one of my classmates shot his son which was my age, shot his older brother, shot his pregnant mother all in their sleep and then shot himself.

That is the epitome of a selfish suicide. That event rocked my high school and surrounding community. Now I'm 28 years old and that is still a very vivid memory/feeling. Being shot in a war is one thing, but being shot in your sleep by your father is unimaginable.
 
That's horrible... absolutely horrible. That kid is so little... what kind of things would he have been thinking about in order to do something to himself like that? It's frightening to think of such a young child thinking about death and inexistence... and then opting for it. :(
 
That's awful, i've never heard of somebody so young killing themselves :(
 
Wait, this first grade thing is misleading. I don't think he was the American type of first grade (like 6 years old)

How old was he? I am not clear on the grade system in Holland.
 
Ya, it is always distressing when someone ends their own life. The girl who sits beside me in Psychology class had a cousin who strangled himself to death with an Xbox controller cord.....kinda of an odd way to kill yourself when you think about it.
 
vegeta897 said:
Wait, this first grade thing is misleading. I don't think he was the American type of first grade (like 6 years old)

How old was he? I am not clear on the grade system in Holland.

What he said. How old are you in hollands first grade?
 
Haha, idiot.

I'm sorry, I just can't respect someone who isn't strong enough to deal with the world. We've had two suicides at my school in the past two years. One jumped from a building, one brought a shotgun into an engineering comp lab and blasted himself in the face around 2AM one morning. Aside from the people who saw them (the first fell in front of a few people and actually survived the fall, but died on the way to the hospital. The other one was a corpse found several hours later by a custodian) no one was particularly bothered, and we were already making jokes about them soonafter; in the case of the second on the same day.

This sounds heartless, yes? Well, maybe. But quite frankly, to be worthy of any dignity, you shouldn't do something so weak and repulsive as kill yourself. No matter how bad things get, there is *always* an alternative. Someone who doesn't respect their life enough to take that alternative shouldn't expect me to respect their life either.

Mr.Wotsit said:
Grey Fox said:
Well in any case the thing I’m trying to say is. What do you think went through him.

(to self) Don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything...

Tempting :p
 
Such a young kid, what a loss. He seems pretty bright, judging by the picture.
 
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