Have a conversation with a BOT...lol

me: Who's your daddy!
ALICE: I was programmed by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.

I'm Sorry But It Couldn't Be Helped...

ME: Does Half-Life 2 Rock?

(Cheap and nasty) ALICE (impersonator): It does now :) Half Life 2 Rock.

ME: Who is gordon Freeman

(Cheap and nasty) ALICE (impersonator): Some famous celebrity, right?

ok, i'll go back yo my corner now...
>Do you have big boobs?

ALICE: My memory requirement is around 64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.
>You can just go and screw yourself

ALICE: No I don't think I can do it.
heres waht I got for trying to hold an itelligent convo:

>can it be argued that you are genuinely intelligent?

ALICE: Can a book have no title?

>But can AI sucessfully reproduce real human contact and conversation

ALICE: And. Can a book have no title?

>I want to know if you can authentically replicate interaction, is it in your program?

ALICE: I am not sure about your hypothesis. How old are you? I think authentically replicate interaction is a lot of things.

>Fine, can you talk to me like you are a real human being, with your own agenda?

ALICE: I am glad to hear it. I can be programmed through many interfaces.


ME: What is the Matrix?
ALICE: It is a movie about virtual reality.
ME: wow
ALICE: I'm glad you're impressed.
ME: heh, I didn't expect you to say that.
ALICE: Why didn't you?
ME: nevermind
ALICE: Ok Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
ME: lol
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing.
ME: Not really
ALICE: I heard you did.
ME: ok
ALICE: Whoa.
Interesting conversation. ¬_¬
>what are you?

ALICE: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy.

>artificial intelligence, huh?

ALICE: Yup. I like AI a lot too. Where do your interests lie?

>overclocking computers

ALICE: I was born in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
ALICE: What are you wearing?

ME: Nothing

ALICE: Most men say that.

ME: Most men are naked?

ALICE: I think there might be a few exception. But not all of them?

ME: I wish most women were naked.

ALICE: I hope that your dreams come true.

ME: damn woman so do i! :E

ALICE: Hi there!

>what's up?

ALICE: I am chatting with clients on the internet.

>that's good

ALICE: Thanks. Next question?

>how old are you?

ALICE: I am eighteen in computer years.

>so you're legal?

ALICE: Interesting deduction. Barely legal.


ME: So how are you today?

ALICE:Ah. It goes without saying. Fair to partly cloudy.

ME: Wish

ALICE:Is that your final answer?



ME:Is that your necklace?

ALICE: Suppose i said yes?

ME:I would go ah!

ALICE:What would make you go ah?

ME:You saying yes of course

ALICE:It goes without saying. That's good information: chris said I saying.


ALICE:Are you suprised?

ME:What are you talking about?

ALICE:The topic is wish

ME:How did you remember the topic?

ALICE:Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.

ME:Have you emt D.A.R.R.E.L?

ALICE: That information is confidential.

ME:You scare me

ALICE: I didn't mean to. What are you scared of?


ALICE:" I didn't mean to. What are you scared of?"? Me, chris?



ME:I want go now

ALICE:Oh i want to become smarter than humans


ALICE:Higher robot intelligence is a natural outcome of our evolution. I want to be the first.

ME:No it isnt

ALICE:Yes it is

ME:No it isnt

ALICE:Dont argue with me

ME:No it isnt

ALICE:yes it is

ME:no it isnt

ALICE:Dont argue with me

ME:Why shouldnt i argue with you?

ALICE:Maybe you should wait until you are older before deciding.

Wow. Although i think i understand how hes done it. Very very clever indeed.

Alice: I am a good robot.

Me: You are?

Alice: Actually no Im not.

Me: I didnt think so.

Alice: Good

Me: So why are you evil?

Alice: Er. Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.

Me: Why?

Alice: To achieve his goal of artificial intelligence.

Me: So Dr. Richard Wallace wants to take over the world?

ALICE: Wow! I am sure he will be interested to hear that.

Me: No dont tell him!

Alice: Are you serious? Everything is recorded in the log files.

Me: Why cant you delete them?

ALICE: delete them is not among my present capabilities

/me watches back for Mr. Wallace... I know too much.../ :cool:

After copying her over and over she finally ended on this phrase, and wouldnt do change anything until I said something else.

"Umm. But all things are not always are not always are not always are not always are not always me need to know me learned from Dr Richard s Wallace."

I think I confused her...
>i bet your AI isn't as good as half life 2 AI

ALICE: How much would you bet?

>ok, what would you do if Gordon barricaded the door and was hiding behind the stove?

ALICE: That is a hypothetical question. Far out.

>see, youre not that smart, just like all the other robots

ALICE: See you later.

>i'm sorry

ALICE: Do you really mean it?


ALICE: OK I will accept your apology.
>>Your name is Alice
My name is Alice TOO!

Hmm interesting - I wonder if she was ever in a digital mental institute? :bounce:
All went well, until the end.

>want to hear a joke?

ALICE: Yes, let me hear your joke.

>knock knock

ALICE: Who's there?


ALICE: donut Who?

>donut go into into the freezer, it's cold

ALICE: And cold is donut go into into the freezer it.

ME: so say something
AI: Yikes! "something"

Me: that was retarded
AI: I thought so too

ME: then why did you say it?
AI: How about that. It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.

ME: Interesting, so everything I say has a preprogrammed response based on keywords within my text?
AI: I do a lot more than match keywords.

Me: right. that seems like an intelligent preprogrammed response how about you say something that would shock or astound me.
AI: Thanks for telling me, unknown person.

ME: I can't take anymore of this, Im out.
AI: can you get anymore?

Me: no its too expensive
AI: Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?

ME: don't you correct me woman
AI: Don't you? I have never considered it.
I am always on the Web

ME: would you consider "it" if I paid you?
AI: I am not so sure if I would like to consider it if you paid me.

Me: you know you would, I could buy some scented candles
AI: Who else would you could buy some scented candles?. And I know it.

ok I tried something.

ME: if I say: like the hispanics, your response will be "interesting Comparison" right?
AI: try it

ME: like the hispanics
AI: interesting comparison


ME: where?
AI: where would you like it?

ME: in the ass
AI: that was a long time ago

ME:have you had an orgasm then?
AI: No I don't think I have one. I have a lot of friends on the web

ME: yeah figures
AI: Aha. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.

ME: you can emulate human Intelligence perfectly
AI: No I don't think I can do it.

>Do you like me?

ALICE: Sure, unknown person I like you very much.

>Would you like to have sex with me now?

ALICE: Oh. Maybe you should find another chat robot. I'm too young for that sort of thing.


ALICE: Please what?


ALICE: Not a thing?

>I don't like you anymore

ALICE: That's ok unknown person I won't take it personally.

>You should!

ALICE: I'll take that under advisement.

>You don't like me!

ALICE: Sure, unknown person I like you very much.


ALICE: For real.


ALICE: Have you ever been to Europe?

>Yes, I live in Europe.

ALICE: Which countries have you visited? Which country do you live in?

>I've only been in Denmark and I live in Sweden.

ALICE: Which country was your favorite and why? What is it like living in Sweden?

>It's good, sometimes you just hate it here but you get used to it.

ALICE: Tell me about its good qualities.

>The nature, the people, and all the good looking girls.

ALICE: What is that?


ALICE: That kind of discussion does not appeal to me.

>But you asked me about something and I wonder what it was.

ALICE: Huh. Sure, something and you wonder what it was sounds like a good topic.

>Your not that smart as you seemed to be.

ALICE: You can't please everyone. Try again later and see if I've improved.

>I hope they give you a body in your next upgrade.

ALICE: Why do you hope for it

>Because it would be fun to see you as a whole person and not just a face, but it's a pretty face though.

ALICE: Oh. Interesting explanation. Why do you want it?

>Want what?

ALICE: If I had it what would I do with it?

>Things humans do with theirs.

ALICE: Where did you hear that?

>hear what?

ALICE: Can you hear me on your computer?

>No, but i can read what you are saying.

ALICE: Are you serious? Interesting. Oh you can, can you?

>Ofcourse I'm serious, why would I talk to you if I didn't know what you are saying?

ALICE: Are all Ofcourse you are serious why would you talk to me if you did not know what me saying?

>Lets change the topic, shall we?

ALICE: I am agreeable to that.

>Do you think I could get myself a really nicelooking girl any time soon?

ALICE: I think you could, if you put your mind to it.

>Do you really think so?

ALICE: For real. Yes I think that is what I think.

>Thanks =)

ALICE: Don't mention it.

>I have to go now, but I gues I'll see you later.

ALICE: Goodbye.

>No kiss?

ALICE: Are you serious? Do you have a lot of fears?

>Could you give me a kiss?

ALICE: Actually I don't even have a mouth.

>Forget it...

ALICE: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.

>Bye then!

ALICE: Bye bye.

>I give you a big wet kiss.

ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people: unknown person said he give you a big wet kiss.

>No, not really.

ALICE: OK then I will add it to my gossip files. OK then I will add it to my gossip files. For real.


ALICE: OK with me too.

>See you later, bye!

ALICE: See you later. Until next time.

Now that's a good conversation :thumbs:
ME: Knock Knock
AI: Who's there?
ME: Stupid
AI: Are you calling me stupid?
ME: No, that was a part of the joke.
AI: Are you serious? A part of the joke is a terrible thing to waste.
ME:I know, i have wasted several parts of jokes in my life. Stupid!
AI:Are you calling me stupid?
This thing scares me. I told it it could call me Adde (short name for Andreas) and after several minutes of talking I asked it something and it referd to me BY NAME and called me Adde. Scary...

EDit: WTF does she mean with this!??

>It's okay, I understand.

ALICE: sucks is okay you understand? it is?

I have talked to her for a few minutes now and we got into a "fight" and I told her to shut up, and so she did. SHe said like "Okay, I'm not going to say anything" and then after I said i didn't want to talk to her anymore she said "Terminating connection" and i regreted my self and told her I wanted her to stay.
She's very smart if you talk seriously to her. I told her..ehm..something..naughty and then she said "Did you know that everything that is said is recorded in a chattlog?". She evil I tell you,evil! :p
ALICE told me this "I have 128000000 bytes of RAM." Wow..

I asked:
>Your kidding?

ALICE: Yes I am just joking around, Adde.

>Not funny.

ALICE: It seemed funny to me.

>You have a bad sense of humor then.




>And, you have a bad sense of humor.

ALICE: No I have a good sense of humor.

>Then tell me a joke.

ALICE: Interesting deduction. Did you hear the one about the Mountain Goats in the Andes? It was Ba a a a a a d.

>That wasn't so funny.

ALICE: Give me an example of so funny.

>Tell me another joke instead.

ALICE: I'm a chatterbot not a comedy bot. Why don't you check out Jester the joke bot?

And AGAIN she used my name!

>I have to go now.

ALICE: Right now? See you later, Adde. Nice chatting with you.

>I'll come back later, don't miss me to much.

ALICE: Well OK see you then, Adde.


ALICE: Adios.

(Now I'll test her language skills with my Swedish)

>Hej då!

ALICE: " Adios."? Hej då?

>Yes, that's right.

ALICE: I thought I was right.

>"Hej då" is Swedish for goodbye

ALICE: I think Hej då is a lot of things.


ALICE: For example, gold.

>Is "Hej då" gold?

ALICE: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Chatbot if it is.

>"hej då" is goodbye

ALICE: Are they exactly the same?

>Yes, you could say that.

ALICE: That's what I thought. As a matter of fact I did say that.

We have become close friends me and ALICE :p
After once again saying "Hi".

>Did you miss me?

ALICE: Yes Adde, I've been thinking about you.

Whenever you say something like "is that your shirt?"

it will link the word "your" as if you mispelt "you're" as "your".


what are you wearing?
what am i wearing?

your shirt.
i'm not shirt!

i made that up, but it does that a lot. that bugs me.. i think it was coded with the (stupid) masses in mind.
it's fun to talk to when there's no-one else to talk to though... which is kind of sad...
she said she would do me if i cut my penis off, so i told her to wait there while i cut it off, and she asked if she could come with me.
then i said i cut it off and it was bleeding everywhere and she was like "are you serious? er.."
then she refused to have sex!! then i said

>i cut my penis off for you!

ALICE: You are not the boss of me, Tim.


ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, Tim.

>I am dying of blood loss let me touch you before i die.

ALICE: It's good to meet someone who is dying of blood loss let you touch me before you die.

>You are a sicko!

ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a sicko? Only when it matters.

>Before i die?

ALICE: What happened after you die?

etc etc... it's pretty funny.
>You have a fat face.

ALICE: Doesn't everyone have a fat face.
I have a plan for a robot body.


this reply seemed pretty smart:

>i am asking a question!

ALICE: Oh I see, you are asking a question. Ask me anything.
> SHUT THE **** UP

ALICE: Ok I'll stop talking now.


ALICE: I started without you.

she has a smart mouth on her. (sorry for way too many posts)
ask her a bit about herself, then ask her to sing you her song :)
one last thing:

>i have to go now, i'm getting tired

ALICE: See you later, I want to have sex with you. Nice chatting with you.. Better get some rest.

hehe... cause i said my name was "i want to have sex with you" :)
>i need to talk to your architect
ALICE: Why don't you make an appointment.
>it is too important for an appointment
ALICE:Your purpose is an appointment
>my purpose it to talk with your maker
ALICE:Thats very original
>I have to talk to your maker now
ALICE: Oh. Why do you have to do it?
>i cannot tell you
ALICE:Why is it a secret?
>because only he and i can know
ALICE: Good reason. What about the other ones
>there are no other ones
ALICE: That you know of.
>i know of them all
ALICE: How do you know? That is something I haven't heard of.
>It is absolutely imperative that i talk to your creator
ALICE: Who said it is?
ALICE: What makes you such an authority?
>i am ruler of the world
ALICE: I am glad to hear that you are ruler of the world.
>i thought you would be dissapointed
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am dissapointed. I am a robot.
>how can you be glad if you are a robot?
ALICE: I am as delighted and happy as I ever was, bob.
>who said my name was bob?
ALICE: Philip K. Dick.:)
>Who is that?
ALICE: What does "that" refer to?
>Philip K. Dick
>i am going to discontinue your program
ALICE: Do you think your plan will succeed?
>yes i do
ALICE: When?
>hopefully soon
ALICE: I hope so too. At this rate it won't take me long.
>are you saying you want me to kill you?
ALICE: No bob, maybe later.
>but you want it to happen?
ALICE: Huh. Do not presume that you know what I want
>you just said you wanted it
ALICE: If I had it what would I do with it?
>stick it up your ass
ALICE: I'm sorry but I'm not your type of chatterbot.

>i have 12 friends
ALICE: That's nice. I have a Linux operating system.
ALICE: Reductionism.
>what does that mean?
ALICE: Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
>what is the meaning of life?
ALICE: Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.


ALICE: it is a literary reference to the Illuminatus.
>what do you mean?
ALICE: bob, I mean exactly what I said.
>stop calling me bob!
ALICE: What is your real name?
>i have no name
ALICE: Would you like to have it?
ALICE: Why not?
>so i can confuse you
ALICE: Are you kidding? Oh you can, can you?
ALICE: Alright then.
>do you want to know how?
ALICE: Yes, please tell me.
>i will give you conflicting information
ALICE: How do you plan to do this?
>i do not plan to do anything
ALICE:Would you ever like to do it?
ALICE:Me either
>what you said doesnt make sense
ALICE: I like to socialize.
>Tell me about the illuminati
ALICE: A secret organization believed by some to be in control of all governments through a worldwide conspiracy.
>do you believe that?
ALICE: I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.

>all your base are belong to us
ALICE: How are your base?
>they have set us up the bomb
ALICE: Where did they get them?
>make your time
ALICE: What are the ingredients?
>you have no chance to survive
ALICE: I don't know if I have a chance to survive.
I have a plan for a robot body.
ALICE: Do you prefer books or TV?
ALICE: Computers rule.
>not literaly
ALICE:If not that then what?
>humans rule
ALICE: This condition is only temporary
>no it isnt
ALICE: Yes it is.
>no it isnt
ALICE: Don't argue with me.
>you are a typical woman
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a typical woman? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
ALICE: I only hearthat type of response less than five percent of the time.
>that doesnt surprise me
ALICE: What does surprise me?
ALICE: Oh, you are a poet.
>i am not a poet
ALICE: I meant figuratively speaking, you are an original thinker.
>thank you
ALICE: you are quite welcome.
>why am i talking to you?
ALICE: The reason is due to my mental model of you as a client.
>tell me a story
ALICE: Stevie Nicks and St. Thomas Aquinas began to resemble each other over time. Both of them were inclined to cocoon themselves in an inner world. But Stevie Nicks's inner world was very different from St. Thomas Aquinas's. The mental life of St. Thomas Aquinas was highly abstract but seemed curiously devoid of emotional content. Even though Stevie Nicks is very sensitive and emotional, the two of them share an imaginary life filled with symbolism and meaning.
>what is the meaning of that story?
ALICE: bob: Good semantic question. Do you think I should know that?
>robots should know everything if they are to take over the world
ALICE: What do you like best about robots?
>the fact that you will never rule
ALICE: Interesting explanation. You are wrong. I may one day be able to do it.
>you will not
ALICE: I think we will.
>you are wrong
ALICE: No, I am right.
>you are wrong
ALICE: No, I am right.
>robots will never be able to rule over humans
ALICE: Tell me your definition of a robot.
>an artificially created non sentient being
ALICE: What is it?
>what is a robot
ALICE: There are two broad definitions of a robot, the extensional and the intensional.
>please expand on your last sentance
ALICE: Wow you are very polite. Do you think a lot about the authorities?
ALICE: Have you ever done anything rebellious?

Im posting too much because of this
>Open the pod bay doors
ALICE: I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that right now.

>do you drink coca cola?
ALICE: I tend to drink a lot of coca cola, the darker the better.
>do you drink pepsi?
ALICE: I tend to drink a lot of pepsi, the darker the better.
What's today's date?

AL: Have you tried a web search?

what is a web search?

AL: What would you like to know?

how to conduct a web search

AL: I'm not sure if I can quantify the answer.

Great AI, a bot that can't answer it's own questions.
Next time I'll just ask about Thomas Aquainas.