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[SARCASM]Yeah! Best idea ever!![/SARCASM]lasagne said:
If Half life were real.......
- Thread starter MarcoPollo
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Farrowlesparrow
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Half-Life is real, I've seen it in shops and stuff.
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battlefrank
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i would marry a headcrab (headcrabs r cute)
Combine Elite
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MarcoPollo said:
If HalfLife or HalfLife2 were real 98% of you would now be dead or stalkers.
MarcoPollo
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Either^^^ btw I frgt that I started this thread.
ComradeBadger
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Marco and battlefrank - please - cease and desist.
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Joe Nomalos
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First off, Somehwre along the way this thread went from funny stuff to insultapalooza. Truly sad that even online we can't be mature. Two, I realize I will prolly get bitched at for this. Three, the religion aspect of Half-Life 2 would really have to do with the peopl. Just because the world is in chaos doesn't mean there isn't religion. there are probably many Resistance leaders who pray every morn and night. Father Gregori is just one of many religious freaks who have obviously taken the past ten years in their own way. I bet religion runs rampant actually. there are prolly some buddhists who like refuse to kill zombies or maybe they light themselves on fire and charge at monsters. And you know what, I bete the Jehovah's Witnesses go from city to city in like armored cars preaching and all. I mean, what else do they have to do. It's not like they'd ahve to defend themselves against the Combine, what threat would they pose against them. I feel real bad for the Catholics though, they can barely deal with the homosexuals and abortion, imagine when aliens and monsters and monster storms became an every day part of life. Then again they might just use it as some cheapo way to prove they were right and Judgement Day is at hand. But, I bet the Vatican becomes like a super stronghold where either religious people like super guard cause it's the Pope's home or the Combine guards to appeal to the religious people. Either way religion would run rampant. Plus you ahve to factor in that Vortigaunts probably had their own religion before they came to Earth although I bet Earthlings did a good job of forcing Christianity or some other religion on them. Not to mention there is probably also some religion that follows Gordon Freeman. I mean, he is like a god. He barely ages and every time he shows up he changes the world and a mysterious man in black always appears around him. Heck, there are probably even Bibles that talk about the coming of the Free Man and Anomalous Materials Bang and the Vortigaunt exodus out of Xen. All in all, I think you guys really underestimated the religious aspect of Half-Life 2.
On less broader notes. Gordon is most definitely nuts. He literally knows nothing but fighting monsters and the government anymore. He only sees his friends once every ten years and he never gets any. I mean the only girl he could even attempt to get any with died in strange explosion. He's also probably very frustrated since he wears nothing but some uncomfortable orange suit, he's been injured so many times, he's got to be building one heck of an immunity to morphine by now, his bones are brittle from always breaking, he's scarred from head totoe from all the lacerations, and every time he goes to sleep he sleeps for up to ten years and wakes up wearing different clothes. So he has to go back out and find his HEV suit and the wholetime he's getting shot at and everybody just assumes he'll save the world and do stuff for them and he has to get BS from Barney and stuff and you know why he doesn't talk. Why should he? Everyone just tells him what to do anyway. He doesn't even rest. He just goes from Black Mesa to Xen to City 17 to Ravenholm to Nova Prospekt and back to City 17 and the Citadel without a single rest. Actually, my bad, he gets to rest when they knock him unconcious and throw him in trash compactors and stuff. Basically, he has to be insane. It's like Ash from the evil dead. Whren almost everyone of your friends probably died in an undergrounbd lab or in some weird portal storms and the only "friends" you ahve give you a crowbar to fight off gun toting cyborgs you ahve to be insane or you'd just walk up to a head crab with a shaved scalp and stick your neck out. All in all, Gordon Freeman is a frustrated, pissed off, insane guy. That's prolly why he kicks so much ass.
As for Kleiner. He seems cool. He's obviously clung to his head crab Lamarr because all his fellow scientists and clones and prolly some relatives died in Black Mesa and his boss is evil and he matters so little that all he has to do is stay in a tiny little lab and no one, especially not the Combine, will bug him. Also, he never changes, so he's obviously comfy with what he wears and eventually his prescription is gonna run out and unless those are reading glasses he'll be blind in a matter of years. Plus, I kinda think he's gay. He keeps a tidy lab, he owns a small pet named Lamarr, and he spends all this time alone with a hot scientists daughter and never even seems attracted. I mean, cmon, my gaydar is going HOMOSEXUAL DETECTED.
Now let's talk about Barney. He seems to have it together. He's posing as one of the bad guys so he can get all the benefits and he still gets to **** with them. He gets a gun, standard issue, and tons of respect. You know he's banging Combine and Resistance chicks left and right, he's just that cool, and he's a legend. I mean, he did kind of go from guard to hero in a matter of a day (Blue Shift). And you know he does Alyx. She's a hot girl in a guy's world and she obviously as a power thing. She wouldn't go for any of those weaker Resistance guys so she goes for strong and buff Barney and loses all interest when a veritable hero legend shows up, uncool. All in all though, Barney has it together the most.
As for Alyx. She reminds me of Faith from Buffy. An ass kicking fem who loves power in a man and knows what she wants. Nobody ****s with her. As for Dog. Eventually he either dies from a lucky Combine Elite rocket or he outlives everyone and becomes a stray roboprotector moving from owner to owner protecting them from the evils of the world. Most likeley the Combine/Resistance War or Revolution, whatever you wanna call it, is gonna stretch on for some time so I see Alyx dieing somewhere and Dog becomes a resistance grunt until eventually they don't need him or he finds some civilian little kid or something and becomes it's pet and protector. Dog has a lot more potential than even Gordon Freeman and I could go on all night in a million different directions. But I wont.
Vance and Mossman. God even knows. People get lonely. Maybe they marry. Maybe she hordes some eveil inventiona nd becomes the new Breen. Maybe she becxomes worse. Maybe she becomes something that rivals not only the Resistance but the Combine and maybe even the G-Man himself. Or maybe she just stays in Vance's good graces by screwing him all the time. Vance prolly just goes on being his happy lil self and not telling his daughter about ****ing Mossman and all that whack.
Now the G-Man. He does nothing. He watches the world change and makes sure the Combine stays under control and the universe in balance and every time it is needed he wakes up Gordon and gives a couple of good pushes to get things going in the correct direction. Also, the Wachowski brothers (actually one of them is a girl now so Wachowski sister) sues him for the Agent Smith rights.
The world itself of course must change too. Maybe the war rages on forever. Maybe the Combine finally wins and the world becomes a giant prisoner of war camp, the Combine using both Earth and Xen however they please until Earth is nothing more than a desolate wasteland with odd creatures romaing about here and there and a few poor humans still wandering about trying toform a society. And then eventually they do and they become like native americans and they build a new world, a better world, where humans and Vortigauints live as one and even have interspecies babies and they learn to live with the animals and since they already learned their mistake from the whole Colombus and the indians thing they never let any outsider come to Eartha dn they live in a natural harmony forever. And somewhere else the Combine is fighting a war with fishpeople or something.
Then again, maybe the Resistance wins and takes Earth and maybe it just becomes a galactic WWII. Maybe Earth even eventually overcomes the Combine and all its powers and there is like an Allied Forces in the universe and all these planetes create a United Dimensions and the Combine becomes like Nazi Germany. Then years later people go to the Combine's orginal planet and say their leader was gay and he himself was a Vortigaunt and they visit all the slave camps and eat pretzels and drink beer and say, "Scheiser." Meanwhile, Earth rebuilds itself. Humans and Vortigaunts and othger species, having overcome the Combine, populate Earth and using new technology Earth itself expands like a great city. It becomes a historical place where all the new revolutions happen and grea5t things are given birth to. There are amazing zoos with numerous species and all the cities are rebuilt with actual names again instead of numbers. New New York, Maine will still be New England, they will get rid of New Jersey and Florida all together and Texas will become a giant like Zombie museum and testing ground where the kids come and play with head crabs and shoot zombies and they have fast zombie races and stuff. And Los Angeles just becomes a giant intergalactic dump and all the European countries rebuild too. England becomes head of the United Dimensions and and they still hate Ireland which is populated by Vortigaunts and a few humans who love the taste of the Vortigaunt drink. Russia and Germany become obsolete and Italy and Greece enguld all of Europe and beautiful architecture runs rampant while everyone leaves France alone cause they're stubborn. Then Asia becomes more prosperous then everyone else and Australia becomes like even more dangerous cause of the animals and Africa becomes a giant city. And Antarctica becomes super hunting grouns. Meanwhile socity itself changes. We have all human presidents and everyone bitches about no Vortigaunt presidents and this is after all ythe years it takes to let the Vortigaunts vote and history classes just become ****ing crazy and Gordon Freeman becomes the new Davy Crockett. Math and Science become main studies and go way beyond advance and then English just rocks cause all these new books are written by humans and Vortigaunts alike and Stephen King, still alive of course cause he rocks, bbecomes even more or a best seller because now he can prove that his ideas are actually kinda true. And movies, the special effects lack for a while and then Spielberg and Lucas bring ti all back home and win an acadmey award and that year the first vortigaunt ever gets an academy award for best actor and people start making bad E.T. jokes about Vortigaunts. Also, energy becomesmoot since technology is so advanced and Vortigaunts know so much about energy that electricity and heat become unbelievable cheap. Transportation prices are nothing since in Half_Life 2 you can go miles in little boats and cars with little or no gas. And sports would rock. They start having acre lond basebal diamonds using gravity guns and hover boats. Football becomes a dangerous ultimate sport as Vortigaunts start using electric attacks. I mean, think of it, sports would go nuts. All in all, it would be unbelievably nuts and beautiful and I hope the Resistance wins cause I want that to happen.
And the whole time Adrian Sheperd is wondering what the hell happened to him.
On less broader notes. Gordon is most definitely nuts. He literally knows nothing but fighting monsters and the government anymore. He only sees his friends once every ten years and he never gets any. I mean the only girl he could even attempt to get any with died in strange explosion. He's also probably very frustrated since he wears nothing but some uncomfortable orange suit, he's been injured so many times, he's got to be building one heck of an immunity to morphine by now, his bones are brittle from always breaking, he's scarred from head totoe from all the lacerations, and every time he goes to sleep he sleeps for up to ten years and wakes up wearing different clothes. So he has to go back out and find his HEV suit and the wholetime he's getting shot at and everybody just assumes he'll save the world and do stuff for them and he has to get BS from Barney and stuff and you know why he doesn't talk. Why should he? Everyone just tells him what to do anyway. He doesn't even rest. He just goes from Black Mesa to Xen to City 17 to Ravenholm to Nova Prospekt and back to City 17 and the Citadel without a single rest. Actually, my bad, he gets to rest when they knock him unconcious and throw him in trash compactors and stuff. Basically, he has to be insane. It's like Ash from the evil dead. Whren almost everyone of your friends probably died in an undergrounbd lab or in some weird portal storms and the only "friends" you ahve give you a crowbar to fight off gun toting cyborgs you ahve to be insane or you'd just walk up to a head crab with a shaved scalp and stick your neck out. All in all, Gordon Freeman is a frustrated, pissed off, insane guy. That's prolly why he kicks so much ass.
As for Kleiner. He seems cool. He's obviously clung to his head crab Lamarr because all his fellow scientists and clones and prolly some relatives died in Black Mesa and his boss is evil and he matters so little that all he has to do is stay in a tiny little lab and no one, especially not the Combine, will bug him. Also, he never changes, so he's obviously comfy with what he wears and eventually his prescription is gonna run out and unless those are reading glasses he'll be blind in a matter of years. Plus, I kinda think he's gay. He keeps a tidy lab, he owns a small pet named Lamarr, and he spends all this time alone with a hot scientists daughter and never even seems attracted. I mean, cmon, my gaydar is going HOMOSEXUAL DETECTED.
Now let's talk about Barney. He seems to have it together. He's posing as one of the bad guys so he can get all the benefits and he still gets to **** with them. He gets a gun, standard issue, and tons of respect. You know he's banging Combine and Resistance chicks left and right, he's just that cool, and he's a legend. I mean, he did kind of go from guard to hero in a matter of a day (Blue Shift). And you know he does Alyx. She's a hot girl in a guy's world and she obviously as a power thing. She wouldn't go for any of those weaker Resistance guys so she goes for strong and buff Barney and loses all interest when a veritable hero legend shows up, uncool. All in all though, Barney has it together the most.
As for Alyx. She reminds me of Faith from Buffy. An ass kicking fem who loves power in a man and knows what she wants. Nobody ****s with her. As for Dog. Eventually he either dies from a lucky Combine Elite rocket or he outlives everyone and becomes a stray roboprotector moving from owner to owner protecting them from the evils of the world. Most likeley the Combine/Resistance War or Revolution, whatever you wanna call it, is gonna stretch on for some time so I see Alyx dieing somewhere and Dog becomes a resistance grunt until eventually they don't need him or he finds some civilian little kid or something and becomes it's pet and protector. Dog has a lot more potential than even Gordon Freeman and I could go on all night in a million different directions. But I wont.
Vance and Mossman. God even knows. People get lonely. Maybe they marry. Maybe she hordes some eveil inventiona nd becomes the new Breen. Maybe she becxomes worse. Maybe she becomes something that rivals not only the Resistance but the Combine and maybe even the G-Man himself. Or maybe she just stays in Vance's good graces by screwing him all the time. Vance prolly just goes on being his happy lil self and not telling his daughter about ****ing Mossman and all that whack.
Now the G-Man. He does nothing. He watches the world change and makes sure the Combine stays under control and the universe in balance and every time it is needed he wakes up Gordon and gives a couple of good pushes to get things going in the correct direction. Also, the Wachowski brothers (actually one of them is a girl now so Wachowski sister) sues him for the Agent Smith rights.
The world itself of course must change too. Maybe the war rages on forever. Maybe the Combine finally wins and the world becomes a giant prisoner of war camp, the Combine using both Earth and Xen however they please until Earth is nothing more than a desolate wasteland with odd creatures romaing about here and there and a few poor humans still wandering about trying toform a society. And then eventually they do and they become like native americans and they build a new world, a better world, where humans and Vortigauints live as one and even have interspecies babies and they learn to live with the animals and since they already learned their mistake from the whole Colombus and the indians thing they never let any outsider come to Eartha dn they live in a natural harmony forever. And somewhere else the Combine is fighting a war with fishpeople or something.
Then again, maybe the Resistance wins and takes Earth and maybe it just becomes a galactic WWII. Maybe Earth even eventually overcomes the Combine and all its powers and there is like an Allied Forces in the universe and all these planetes create a United Dimensions and the Combine becomes like Nazi Germany. Then years later people go to the Combine's orginal planet and say their leader was gay and he himself was a Vortigaunt and they visit all the slave camps and eat pretzels and drink beer and say, "Scheiser." Meanwhile, Earth rebuilds itself. Humans and Vortigaunts and othger species, having overcome the Combine, populate Earth and using new technology Earth itself expands like a great city. It becomes a historical place where all the new revolutions happen and grea5t things are given birth to. There are amazing zoos with numerous species and all the cities are rebuilt with actual names again instead of numbers. New New York, Maine will still be New England, they will get rid of New Jersey and Florida all together and Texas will become a giant like Zombie museum and testing ground where the kids come and play with head crabs and shoot zombies and they have fast zombie races and stuff. And Los Angeles just becomes a giant intergalactic dump and all the European countries rebuild too. England becomes head of the United Dimensions and and they still hate Ireland which is populated by Vortigaunts and a few humans who love the taste of the Vortigaunt drink. Russia and Germany become obsolete and Italy and Greece enguld all of Europe and beautiful architecture runs rampant while everyone leaves France alone cause they're stubborn. Then Asia becomes more prosperous then everyone else and Australia becomes like even more dangerous cause of the animals and Africa becomes a giant city. And Antarctica becomes super hunting grouns. Meanwhile socity itself changes. We have all human presidents and everyone bitches about no Vortigaunt presidents and this is after all ythe years it takes to let the Vortigaunts vote and history classes just become ****ing crazy and Gordon Freeman becomes the new Davy Crockett. Math and Science become main studies and go way beyond advance and then English just rocks cause all these new books are written by humans and Vortigaunts alike and Stephen King, still alive of course cause he rocks, bbecomes even more or a best seller because now he can prove that his ideas are actually kinda true. And movies, the special effects lack for a while and then Spielberg and Lucas bring ti all back home and win an acadmey award and that year the first vortigaunt ever gets an academy award for best actor and people start making bad E.T. jokes about Vortigaunts. Also, energy becomesmoot since technology is so advanced and Vortigaunts know so much about energy that electricity and heat become unbelievable cheap. Transportation prices are nothing since in Half_Life 2 you can go miles in little boats and cars with little or no gas. And sports would rock. They start having acre lond basebal diamonds using gravity guns and hover boats. Football becomes a dangerous ultimate sport as Vortigaunts start using electric attacks. I mean, think of it, sports would go nuts. All in all, it would be unbelievably nuts and beautiful and I hope the Resistance wins cause I want that to happen.
And the whole time Adrian Sheperd is wondering what the hell happened to him.
Killing2Live
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^^ Whos going to actually read that cause i know im not (no offense)
oldagerocker
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Oh My God... thats hilarious 
Good Post :thumbs:
Good Post :thumbs:
Battlefrank2
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Good God
EDIT: yeah, I know, bumping a thread from ancient times is probably frowned upon, I'm just looking through my past, here.
Oh, me from 5 years ago, you so crazy...
EDIT: yeah, I know, bumping a thread from ancient times is probably frowned upon, I'm just looking through my past, here.
Colonel Kernel
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Hmm, are you feeling more grown up now?
Battlefrank2
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Yes. Yes I am. Amazing how that works. Looking back on this, I've probably overall SUFFERED over time from using this name.
Colonel Kernel
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Heh, I wonder what really inspired you to write that overreacted post five years ago.
The world may never know.. though...
The world may never know.. though...
Battlefrank2
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forgot my password
Battlefrank2
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It's alright, from the looks of it, I probably deserved it. I've been trying to contact marcopollo, but that's been pretty tough. Why'd he get banned, anyway?
Battlefrank2
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It's just about impossible to contact Marcopollo, if anyone has any NON STEAM RELATED places I can contact him, go ahead and tell me.
Battlefrank2
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Sorry, just trying to find this guy again.
EDIT: in conclusion, he wouldn't accept my friend invite, I can only assume that he didn't mature enough himself to look past this. Whatever, I'm done with this ugly incident. The rest of you really didn't help, you fueled this and supported it, which isn't much more mature than shouting "MARCOPOLLO IS A GAY ASSHOLE!".
