My cat is trying to steal my button

[Shamrock]

I don't know what to do. As I sit here, my cat is gnawing at my button on my shirt. It is a henley and only has two buttons. It is the bottom button, and it is the only two buttons that match this shirt.

I don't want to swat him as that could make him upset at me and not like me anymore, but leaving him alone yelling isn't going to solve the problem either.

If you want to know why I am posting this, it is because I am rather intoxicated. I just got dropped off from this party thanks to my drunk friend. I would have stayed, but I have work in the AM, and for some reason, I am trying to be responsible instead of trying to get poon. Weird, I know.

Gah.. Alright. I've just depressed myself. HL2.net let me know what I should do about the cat situation if this continues.

He left for now, but I know he will return with vengeance in his eyes and fire in his breath.

<3!

 

[Naudian]

Change your shirt?

 

[DEATHMASTER]

Pass out and let him work his way into your intestines.

 

[Shamrock]

Change your shirt?

Never! I can't change my shirt as I have this motto, "wear a shirt a whole, new shirt in the morning!"

If I take a shower and put a shirt on for several hours, I am going to sleep in it that night regardless. I can't change to a new shirt, dirty that up, and then have my mumsy wash it. That isn't right because then I'd have to have her wash BOTH shirts.

 

[Shamrock]

Pass out and let him work his way into your intestines.

That defeats the purpose of this post. I want him to not injure me in anyway. My clothes, my body, ANYTHING! It shall stay safe.

Apart from hurting him emotionally and internally, what is there a man can do? I might go lay down and pet him, but he shall strike again. It is in his blood.

EDIT: Sorry for double post.

I told you I was drunk. If you don't believe me, sorry.

 

[Stigmata]

Distract your cat with a toy.

Yes, that includes your penis.

Yes, using your penis is mandatory.

 

[Shamrock]

Distract your cat with a toy.

Yes, that includes your penis.

Yes, using your penis is mandatory.

Well now, that is disappointing. As I do not want my wiener to get injured either.

You must surely have a different suggestion.

 

[Stigmata]

Give him a bit of food and a playtoy, he'll get distracted.

 

[Shamrock]

Give him a bit of food and a playtoy, he'll get distracted.

I can honestly careless to move right now. Seems to be an unsatisfactory suggestion. You sir need to know what to do in this situation better.

 

[Sedako]

I don't want to swat him as that could make him upset at me and not like me anymore

Cats have a short-term memory of around 10 minutes. It's unlikely that swatting it for disciplinary purposes every once in a while will make it scared of you. By the same token, it's also unlikely that the cat would learn to stop.

 

[Shamrock]

Cats have a short-term memory of around 10 minutes. It's unlikely that swatting it for disciplinary purposes every once in a while will make it scared of you. By the same token, it's also unlikely that the cat would learn to stop.

But I love this cat. I can't harm him in anyway. It would be like you punching your mom in the face for trying to wipe a spot off your cheek.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

confine it while you change your shirt (and hide it if need be)

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Give it a copy of Playgirl.

 

[Vegeta897]

pfft, cat got no keys n3wb.

 

[Raziaar]

The beauty about buttons is that they can be sewn back on.

 

[Shamrock]

The beauty about buttons is that they can be sewn back on.

This cat is known to steal such small items and have them lost forever.

 

[Raziaar]

Steal something of his. Like one of his favorite toys.

I'm sure he'll cave.

After all, he's a ****ing cat.

 

[Azner]

Steal his "buttons"

:naughty:

 

[highlander]

Give the cat too Tollbooth willie.

 

[Steven]

Cause Chernobyl.

 

[Krynn72]

Jerk him off. He'll love you for it, and stop messin with your buttons.

 

[Eejit]

Put something on over the shirt...

 

[Bad^Hat]

Thankyou for making my day.

 

[Slug Advisor]

Give it another shirt.

 

[Sulkdodds]

B'awwwwww.

 

[Omnomnick]

You sure this isnt a classic case of 'Spy sappin' mah cat!!'

but seriously, just take off the button and let him eat it, that'll teach him a lesson about buttons, a very deadly lesson.

 

[Krynn72]

You sure this isnt a classic case of 'Spy sappin' mah cat!!'

but seriously, just take off the button and let him eat it, that'll teach him a lesson about buttons, a very painful anus lesson.

Fixed. Cats can only choke on hairballs. Everything else gets shitted out.

 

[Omnomnick]

Oi, Don't be manipulatin those posts...

 

[Unfocused]

Gently pick up the cat, carry it out of the room and close the door behind him. And go to sleep.

 

[Sulkdodds]

You guys realise that it's been 12 hours since he asked for advice? Unless he's been sitting there for half a day with his cat, then your posts are useless by now, either because he's dead or he's solved the problem.

 

[Unfocused]

You guys realise that it's been 12 hours since he asked for advice? Unless he's been sitting there for half a day with his cat, then your posts are useless by now, either because he's dead or he's solved the problem.

What if the problem arises again?

 

[Sam]

You guys realise that it's been 12 hours since he asked for advice? Unless he's been sitting there for half a day with his cat, then your posts are useless by now, either because he's dead or he's solved the problem.

He's not that smart.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

He's not that dumb either. He's just...Shammy.

 

[Shamrock]

The cat problem was sufficiently fixed as soon as I realized I was quite drunk and immediately passed out on my bed. I can't say he kept bothering me, but I know I didn't care by then. However, he is giving me kitty kisses right now to fix his mistakes for last night.

****! As I typed that he started attacking the zipper on my jacket! What is the plan now guys!? D:

 

[Raziaar]

Get him caught in the zipper. He'll never mess with it again.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Eat him. No question.


Edit: I like Raz's idea better, but still, get him caught in the zipper and suffocate him. THEN eat him!

 

[Omnomnick]

Just sit there naked...

That should stop him removing clothes, unless he trys to 'kitty kiss' you gentleman's area....

Let's not go there...

 

[Stigmata]

Rub catnip all over your zipper.

 

[Omnomnick]

Somehow, I don't think that will help...:|

 

[Slug Advisor]

Stuff him in a toaster!