Robin Williams Live on Broadway

[Sprafa]

I think I'm going to import this thing, it's just too great.

And you can't bomb the Afghanis back to the stone age because they'll think, "Upgrade. Fun."

Robin Williams : And now we find out, that Winston Churchill, one of the greatest orators of all time, may have been so ****ed up on cognac and champagne, that he didn't do some of his great speeches. They were done by a man from the BBC who also did Winnie the Pooh. 'We will fight them on the beaches, in the air, on the land! Eeyore and Tigger!' And, he was fighting against Hitler! A man who a book recently declared was a homosexual, and I always thought *this* was a clue!
[Does the Nazi Party salute]
That and the leather and the dancing!
[Goosesteps around stage]

Robin Williams : An Arab in Utah is like an albino at the Apollo. You would notice!

Robin Williams : [talking about the invention of golf] Here's my idea for a sport. I knock a ball in a gopher hole. "Like pool" **** off pool, not with a straight stick, with a little ****ed up stick. I whack a ball its goes in a gopher hole. "Oh you mean like croquet?" "**** croquet. I put the hole hundreds of yards away. Oh **** of ya, "Oh like a bowling thing?" "Not straight I put shit in the way. Like trees and bushes and high grass. So you can lose you ****ing ball. And go hacking away with a ****ing tire iron. Whacking away, and each time you miss you feel like you'll have a stroke. **** that's what we'll call it, a stroke, cause each time you miss you feel like you're going to die. Oh great, oh and here's the better part this is brilliant. Right near the end I'll put a little flat piece with a little flag to give you ****ing hope. But then I'll put a little pool and a sand box to **** with your ball again. Ay, you'll be there cracking you ass, jacking away in the sand, "oh and you do this one time?" "**** no. 18 ****ing times."

Robin Williams : [Impersonating Charlton Heston] Guns don't kill people... APES with guns kill people.

Robin Williams : Gandhi didn't have his own line of products, he didn't have 'Gandhi Jeans', whether you're not eating or simply telling the English to get the **** out, 'Gandhi Jeans', come in sizes one and below.

Robin Williams : Congress recently approved the covert plan to assassinate Saddam Hussein. So what they've done is PUBLICLY approve the secret plan to assassinate Hussein. I wonder if he knows?

you can read it all here, it just goes on - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0330829/quotes

 

[Dux]

Excellent. I love his style. Him and Billy Connolly are the best there are by far.

 

[KagePrototype]

That's such a great show.

 

[PvtRyan]

I saw the golf one, with that scottish accent, was great

 

[Yuri]

I never thought Robin Williams was that funny.

Oh well.