urghhh im dying blaaaahhh

Ravioli

Ravioli

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Well, atleast i think i am. The reason i post here is because a large amount of you hl2.netters have Phds in all forms of medical science, most of you have many years of medical experiance, and i trust you with my body.

To describe it shortly, it feels like Gabe Newell is sitting on my chest...24/7. Its incredible hard to breath, and it sounds like my throat is being tortured from the inside by just listening to the sound it makes everytime i breath in or out. I cant lay down to sleep because after a few minutes it becomes so bad it feels like im being strangled. I dont feel any itching, and when i cough it is simply because i cant breath. At some occasions i cough up blobs of pure liquid evil. Its been like this for 2 days now and its not getting better. Wtf do i do? I cant go to the doctor because they speak english just as bad as hitler did, and i cant speak italian to save my life! The best i can possibly do is go to the pharmacy and try to translate whatever medicine some of you can propose to italian.

So dear doctors of hl2.net, help me...or watch me die slowly :eek:
 
Sounds like you have walking pneumonia. Or if it's real bad, straight out pneumonia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walking_pneumonia I've had walking pneumonia before and it's terrible.

GO SEE A DOCTOR TO SEE IF YOU NEED ANTIBIOTICS.

If it's real bad, you could die if it's not treated.
 
Ahh that was a good laugh.

I specialize in gynecology so there's nothing I can do for you.

I'm sure another doctor will be along soon.

Edit: Ah Dr. Raziaar. Didn't read all of the OP I see.
 
Vegeta897 said:
Ahh that was a good laugh.

I specialize in gynecology so there's nothing I can do for you.

I'm sure another doctor will be along soon.

Edit: Ah Dr. Raziaar. Didn't read all of the OP I see.
Click to expand...

I read it, he still needs to find a way to see a doctor, by finding some way to get what needs to be said translated.

Find what kind of antibiotics you need to take for walking pneumonia or pneumonia, if you want to do it yourself. All the doctor will do is prescribe you some anyways.
 
I only use to smoke a little bit when i was a younger stupid teenager, but i havent done it for about half a year now. Wow that walking pneumonia sounds exacly what i have :eek: if things doesnt get better i think il go to hospital nearby and try doing something about it.

Oh and Vegeta, i think i have a job for you, my sister needs to be checked.
 
Easy. Chest cancer. You'll be lucky to survive the night. That, or Super-AIDS.
 
Ah, Super-AIDS. He killed my family, and my friends, but people still call him a hero.
 
Ravioli said:
I only use to smoke a little bit when i was a younger stupid teenager, but i havent done it for about half a year now. Wow that walking pneumonia sounds exacly what i have :eek: if things doesnt get better i think il go to hospital nearby and try doing something about it.

Oh and Vegeta, i think i have a job for you, my sister needs to be checked.
Click to expand...

Well, I've had walking pneumonia before and your symptoms sound exactly like mine when I had it.

It didn't get better on its own, at least in the week long time frame or so I took to evaluate it. I had to get some antibiotics.

The mucus I was coughing up was a big gross factor to me. I had some folder paper towels I was spitting it out on(didn't have a cup I wanted to use for the purpose), and I must have hacked up a pound of phlegm when it was all over, spread over various paper towels.
 
Alien-The_Chestburster.png
 
Sounds like you have Penumbra: Black Plague.

I mean, pneumonia...... but you should get Penumbra.
 
GO TO A DOCTOR.

Surely at a larger hospital there are translation staff?
 
You better learn some Italian fast. Learn the words for, "Help. Dying. Walking Pneumonia". Also, "boobs", just in case.

Or just look them up somewhere, and write them down to show to the doctor.
 
toaster-chan said:
You're probably going to need to see a doctor anyway. Even if hl2net somehow manages to accurately diagnose your illness, you'll likely need a prescription for the treatment.
Click to expand...

Dun't worry, Dr. Nurizekowzki Kamizakzkoff is here to diagnose you.

06211037.jpg




First things first, Ravioli, please take off your pants and boxers and then stand in the middle of the room attempting to cover your shame as I sit at my desk writing notes for what seems a needlessly long time.

Toaster, I am an old fashioned type of doctor. You are demoted to nurse, please find the innapropriatley small and tight nurse outfit in the staff room, then come back and stand near the door, giving Ravioli even more excuse to hide his shame.



We will then subject Mr Ravioli to a long string of ultimately pointless tests, recommend he drinks his liquids and gets some bed rest, and send him on his way with a token prespcription for some pills that wouldn't OD a newborn child.
 
nurizeko said:
Dun't worry, Dr. Nurizekowzki Kamizakzkoff is here to diagnose you.

06211037.jpg




First things first, Ravioli, please take off your pants and boxers and then stand in the middle of the room attempting to cover your shame as I sit at my desk writing notes for what seems a needlessly long time.

Toaster, I am an old fashioned type of doctor. You are demoted to nurse, please find the innapropriatley small and tight nurse outfit in the staff room, then come back and stand near the door, giving Ravioli even more excuse to hide his shame.



We will then subject Mr Ravioli to a long string of ultimately pointless tests, recommend he drinks his liquids and gets some bed rest, and send him on his way with a token prespcription for some pills that wouldn't OD a newborn child.
Click to expand...

*quickly seizes the secretary job*
I'll get right on not returning his calls and sending furiously high bills to him.
 
you guys STOP IT!!! You are makeing me laugh so hard and each laugh that comes out has a bad aftermath of coughing! Atleast il die laughing :angel:

EDIT: Also, the italians are realllly bad at english. I have yet to meet a police officer or a doctor that speak english. I have been to the hospital before and its a pain to communicate. For some reason southern european countries really hate english :/ And im suspecting the english they teach in schools is very basic.
 
i'm most sure it's infected hemorrhoids








go see a doctor immediately, it's some kind of pneumonia like most already mentioned.
just say to the doctor..."Mi fa male il culo" :D...no don't say that...try "Mi fa male quando respiro".
 
Loool.

Go to a hospital, sounds like something that needs antibiotics. Sure they will have at least on fluent in english there.
 
go to freetranslation.com, translate "Help I have pneumonia", print out or write it down, go to doctor. Easy peasy.
 
Ravioli said:
Well, atleast i think i am. The reason i post here is because a large amount of you hl2.netters have Phds in all forms of medical science, most of you have many years of medical experiance, and i trust you with my body.

To describe it shortly, it feels like Gabe Newell is sitting on my chest...24/7. Its incredible hard to breath, and it sounds like my throat is being tortured from the inside by just listening to the sound it makes everytime i breath in or out. I cant lay down to sleep because after a few minutes it becomes so bad it feels like im being strangled. I dont feel any itching, and when i cough it is simply because i cant breath. At some occasions i cough up blobs of pure liquid evil. Its been like this for 2 days now and its not getting better. Wtf do i do? I cant go to the doctor because they speak english just as bad as hitler did, and i cant speak italian to save my life! The best i can possibly do is go to the pharmacy and try to translate whatever medicine some of you can propose to italian.

So dear doctors of hl2.net, help me...or watch me die slowly :eek:
Click to expand...
Return to the fatherland where the doctors speak a real language.
 
As per RJMC's diagnosis, have your family isolate you and immolate you.
 
Nothing can stop them... It is too late already...
 
nurizeko said:
Dun't worry, Dr. Nurizekowzki Kamizakzkoff is here to diagnose you.
Click to expand...

Someone rang? Oh.. Uh.. You're going to die, the best thing is to go ahead and write out your will to someone that helped you through life. Like your great doctor that diagnosed you. Which would be me. Give me everything or i'll have to take my business else where.
 
Sulkdodds said:
As per RJMC's diagnosis, have your family isolate you and immolate you.
Click to expand...

We could always use him as a test subject to develope a biological weapons grade form of viral pneumonia and then HL2.net can hold the world hostage, I'de totally love to be amongst the deligation that makes the demands to the UN.

JackasDoctorDoom5a.jpg


Teh Wurldz is just enuff. 4 niaow.
 
Is it like wearing a turtleneck?

What I mean is, is it like being strangled by a really weak guy?
 
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