You're a sexy Picnic table, yes you are, now bend over!!!

[CptStern]

ok now I've seen/heard it all

Man Caught Having Sex with a Picnic Table

A man in central Ohio is accused of having sex with his picnic table.

The investigation began when a tipster gave police three DVDs showing Arthur Price having sexual intercourse with a metal round table on his deck.

The incidents occurred between January and March 2008.

Police say the DVDs show Price involved in a sex act in his bedroom. He walks out to his deck, tilts the table on its side and has sex with it.

http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/strange/news-article.aspx?storyid=105778

I absolutely love this line from the article for some strange reason:

Police say Price lives near an elementary school.

OMG wont someone think of the children's picnic tables in the lunch cafetorium?

 

[Acepilotf14]

I do that all the time.

 

[Raziaar]

Plastic ones are the best. Wooden ones have splinters.

 

[Acepilotf14]

I once put a cloth covering over my table once.
It was great.

 

[CptStern]

plastic ones get sweaty ..which I guess is ok if you're into sweaty holes ..you like sweaty holes raz? I prefer sweaty hos tbh

 

[Slug Advisor]

Exactly how did he do it? Did he actually push into a hole or just rub against it? I mostly do the latter.

 

[AJ Rimmer]

Why was he arrested?

 

[CptStern]

the picnic table filed sexual assault charges

 

[DEATHMASTER]

what the sh17

 

[<RJMC>]

OMG wont someone think of the children's picnic tables in the lunch cafetorium?

man: hey kid,I got candy
*kid eating in a picnic table walks to where the man is but just find the candy*
kid: hey sir I want more candy!,sir?
*kids watch men humping picnic table*
man: o yeah oh yes rounded are so...eh! o crap! *man runs whit pants down*

 

[SamuraiKenji]

Theres some serious Picnic Table Fetish going on here >..>

 

[CyberPitz]

No body else humps picnic tables?....

ME NEITHER..heh......heh..

>_>

 

[Dax]

Daymn, I gots to get me sum of dat picnic table booty.

 

[taviow]

Having sex with tables? Why are you all so shocked? Isn't it normal?

 

[Omnomnick]

What would make him want to have sex with a table...

Does he get an erection over garden furniture, or trys to chat up a light fitting...

 

[Jintor]

Rule 34's amendment.

 

[delusional]

I prefer bicycles tbh.

 

[Azner]

Same as the fella who had sex with his bike?

 

[The Monkey]

It's illegal in Okio to have sex with your table?

 

[Vegeta897]

I don't know where "Okio" is but he was arrested for indecent exposure or something. Read the article.

 

[The Monkey]

I don't know where "Okio" is but he was arrested for indecent exposure or something. Read the article.

- 02. S?c?la (feat. Okio)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Đoan_Trang

:imu:

 

[VirusType2]

Exactly how did he do it? Did he actually push into a hole or just rub against it? I mostly do the latter.

I pictured the hole in the center of a circle patio table - but with the umbrella removed.

This.

http://cdn.overstock.com/images/products/L10480924a.jpg

 

[Slug Advisor]

Mh-hm. Got it.

I prefer bicycles tbh.

Okay, just don't put it between the spokes and then roll the wheel. Srsly.

 

[Sulkdodds]

www.furnitureporn.com

 

[MFD00M]

I find this incredibly kinky. I hope he does microwaves next.

 

[mastag]

This is the first time i was compelled to say "lolwut" out loud.

Thankfully, i didn't, but jesus christ on a pogo stick ****ing a picnic table.

 

[Emporius]

It's not wrong if it doesn't talk. Everyone knows this.

Gotta go find me some mutes

 

[Slug Advisor]

Wait a sec! Did he rape the table? That monster!

 

[AJ Rimmer]

Mh-hm. Got it.



Okay, just don't put it between the spokes and then roll the wheel. Srsly.

You speak from experience?

 

[Slug Advisor]

You speak from experience?

I may or may not.

>_>
<_<
ಠ_ಠ

 

[VirusType2]

Wait a sec! Did he rape the table? That monster!

No, I think he bent the table over, but the table didn't put up a fight, and laid there willingly, accepting the full girth of his man rod. The reason he is in trouble is because you can't has hot sesx outsides in public view.