Gay Zombies versus Lesbian Vampires

In an outbreak of Lesbian Vampires versus Gay Zombies who would win?

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ríomhaire

ríomhaire

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Would they even be able to harm each other? Would they be scared of each other? Here we debate the possibilites and probabilites.
 
What about bisexual werewolves?
 
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One man will rule.
 
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You see this movie? This is the worst movie ever made. Not the worst vampire movie, not the worst zombie movie, not the worst vampire versus zombie movie, THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE. And it has lesbian vampires. No gay zombies, but lesbian vampires. But even that wasn't enough to save this movie.

There's only one redeeming factor about this movie--and I use the term "redeeming" loosely--and that is the character of The General. The General does not give a fuck about vampires, zombies, or women. He is one of the most badass characters ever created, which makes it a shame that he is in such a shitty movie. The General (whose title must always be capitalized) is so hardcore he CUNT PUNCHES one of the lesbian vampires and then breaks her fucking tooth. And he just doesn't even give a shit that she's a vampire or not, or that she just tried to kill him. He's calm throughout the whole thing, except for the initial mild irritation that some bitch tried to bite him.

At one point in the movie he tells a non-vampire woman to shut the hell up and gives her the Bruce Lee backhand fist. He's like the greatest misogynist ever.

Anyway back on topic:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZuK_wYrqp8
 
Anyway, I think the Gay Zombies would win as the Vampires would be too distracted by eachother to mount a proper defence against the Zombie hoarde.
 
You could say that for both sides though.
 
Well, if we're talking standard gay zombies, and I'm answering seriously, the zombies have no ****ing chance.

But yeah, I'd like to think King Radical kicks all their asses.
 
Dear God... there would be no weakness to distract them.
 
Oh... I voted on how hot I thought each would be... Then i re-read it, and I realized i was right either way.
 
Gay Zombies would only be after man-flesh, so lesbian vampires are the clear winners here.
 
Well you see vampires are normally a secretive sort with a strict hierarchy. I believe that in a homosexual zombie apocalypse many lesbian vampires would want to reveal themselves to the world and attempt to spread their influence. On the other hand the vampires in charge tend to be hundreds, if not thousands, of years old and rather conservative in their ways. This would cause decent among the ranks.

The end result is lesbian vampires being revealed to the surviving straight humans. Seeing as these are gay zombies we're talking about there is going to be a lot more survivors than a standard zombie apocalypse and the surviving girls are going to be a lot more freaked out by lesbian vampires than guys would be.

There's the complicating factor of what happens if a girl gets infected with the zombie virus. Would she become a straight zombie, a dyke zombie or are girls just immune? As the answer is unknown this factor will be ignored.

Anyway, the breakdown in lesbian vampire authority would create a large weakness for them. Any sort of organised survivor backlash against them could be devastating, as, although lesbian vampires are powerful, they are few in number. Assuming the gay zombies cannot directly harm the vampires (who knows how the virus would react with a lesbian vampires mutated philology?) they could bring about their downfall indirectly.

There's also the concept that zombies represent the decay of society and humanity destroying itself via its excesses. In the case of gay zombies the excesses are, of course, that of self indulgence, alternative lifestyles and pussy assed crap like that stupid Queer Eye show that was so popular a while back. Then one must consider what the vampires represent. Vampires in literature are often almost pure tinned sexuality. And these are fecking lesbian vamps were talking about. Taking these metaphors into account the gay zombie apocalypse pretty much has to end in the destruction of the lesbian vampires if we want artistic integrity.
 
I figured zombies would be too brainless to give a shit.
 
I figure that it would be nerdy to contemplate the matter and I should just fap.
 
The zombies would win. Assuming this is a classic 'zombie virus' scenario with the infection passed through bodily fluids, vampires biting zombies would infect themselves. Therefore: They fail. Bumchum zombies for the win.
 
Sombra Negra said:
The zombies would win. Assuming this is a classic 'zombie virus' scenario with the infection passed through bodily fluids, vampires biting zombies would infect themselves. Therefore: They fail. Bumchum zombies for the win.
Click to expand...

But the zombies would turn into vampires. So it would end in bisexual vampzombies. Or something like that.
 
lesbian vampires will be licking each other and the vaginal secretions will cover everything destroying the zombies
 
Poopass said:
Women acting like men are infinitely stronger than men acting like women. Plus zombies are slow and stupid while vampires are pretty much like humans except immortal and stuff.
Click to expand...

These could be the L4D/28 Days Later style zombies. Still stupid, but they're not slow. There are also zombies who can keep a lot of their human intelligence, if I'm not mistaken there was a film in which zombies called for more police officers to eat by using a radio. Also, a zombie shot Captain Rhodes in Day of the Dead.
 
Sombra Negra said:
The zombies would win. Assuming this is a classic 'zombie virus' scenario with the infection passed through bodily fluids, vampires biting zombies would infect themselves. Therefore: They fail. Bumchum zombies for the win.
Click to expand...
Why would a lesbian vampire bite a male zombie?
 
The Lesbian Vampires of course. Did you know that the whole vampire myth was created as an allergy for seductive women that suck the life force out of men?
 
This thread deserves better than dying of old age.
 
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