Let's talk about sex, hl2.net.

Sex is definitely one of my favourite things in the whole world. I consider it a necessary element to my wellbeing, like eating five pieces of fruit a day and exfoliating. If I'm stressed, it relaxes me. If I'm unhappy, it cheers me up. If my relationship is strained, it eases the tension. In fact, if I'm ever feeling irked or annoyed with my boyfriend over something (say if we have a fight and we make up but the feeling of irritation just won't go away (I'm a pretty persistent person)), having sex usually fixes it. If I'm feeling especially in love with him, sex accentuates it.

That whole business about women and orgasms is silly. The version I hear is that women only orgasm a third of the time, which is definitely bullshit. Your partner just has to know you and know what he's doing, that's all. I come about 90 percent of the time, and when I don't there's usually a very specific reason for it. Now that said, I've only ever been with the one man, so maybe it's just that he's wonderful in bed.

I tend not to take sex too seriously...I like to have fun and fool around and laugh and try new things and talk dirty and make fun of myself talking dirty and laugh and kiss and take the occasional slight risk (like pulling in on the side of a quiet country road in the middle of the afternoon and hoping that nobody passes by).

(By the way, I think Cosmo's sex advice is stupid. Some of those writers are way overthinking it. I have never once had time to think about any of the tiny minutiae of the act of love that they describe in their articles when I'm in bed. Stuff just happens and either I like it or I don't).

There is no feeling in life quite like the warm, happy, feeling that I get after a good ****....it feels so good that I feel like it must be somehow physically visible to others...as if I was glowing or floating slightly in mid-air or something.
 
More like the resident comfortable with her sexuality girl.
 
Thanks for the entertainment, HL2.Net.
 
The Monkey said:
Have all you condom-haters tried the thin versions? They're a bit more expensive (50% more here I think), but the sensation is vastly different, and almost feels like doing it without. And they haven't compromised in safety either as far as I know.
Click to expand...

Tried em, didn't notice a huge difference. They did seem to fit a little more comfortably than regular ones, though.

KiplingsCat said:
By the way, I think Cosmo's sex advice is stupid. Some of those writers are way overthinking it.
Click to expand...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTQnUTgLssI

Viperidae said:
More like the resident comfortable with her sexuality girl.
Click to expand...

BURN THE RUDDY WITCH.
 
The Monkey said:
Have all you condom-haters tried the thin versions? They're a bit more expensive (50% more here I think), but the sensation is vastly different, and almost feels like doing it without. And they haven't compromised in safety either as far as I know.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I've tried them, but I don't find there's a whole lot of difference. Sex is a fairly vital component to my well-being, something - but not quite - akin to what KiplingsCat articulated. I haven't been in a steady, long-term relationship for some time now, so my sex life has consisted entirely of casual encounters, one after the other. The bachelor lifestyle is all well and good until the partner wants to take it further, and that's invariably been the case with all of the girls of late.
 
Samon Fish said:
Yeah, I've tried them, but I don't find there's a whole lot of difference. Sex is a fairly vital component to my well-being, something - but not quite - akin to what KiplingsCat articulated. I haven't been in a steady, long-term relationship for some time now, so my sex life has consisted entirely of casual encounters, one after the other. The bachelor lifestyle is all well and good until the partner wants to take it further, and that's invariably been the case with all of the girls of late.
Click to expand...

You're just so damn...alpha!
 
Everything you're doing now, I've done it a thousand times more. Harder, dirtier and infinitely better. With your mother.
 
Vegeta could say the same to you, but with your daughter.
 
[/WHISPER] As far as I know... he's only got a son. [/WHISPER] ... o_O.
 
Can we not put Pi's children and Vegeta together in the same sentence - in a sex thread, no less? Errrraaaruuuuurgghh.
 
Mr Stabby said:
I think it's really awkward if the girl is silent. If they are the silent type, there needs to music or something in the background.
Click to expand...

stop stabbing them and maybe they wont be so silent, Mr Stabby!
 
The funniest thing to do during missionary sex is to clutch your chest out of the blue, then fall onto the person you're having sex with, feigning death.
Hilarious.
 
Did you know that it is not uncommon for a man who is hanged to death to get an erection post-mortem?
 
Well yeah. That's what happens when any blood leaves the brain, we get boners :V
 
And then someone in the audience was like "that looks fun" and thus auto-erotic asphyxiation was born.
 
BHC said:
How do you feel about handjobs, do you find them mostly poorly executed until instruction is given, or is that just me?
Click to expand...
I don't know about you, but...

Well, my penis is pretty simple. It is not a complicated organ. This is not to say that on occasion it can not appreciate new and interesting things done with it, but for the most part, it has clear needs that are easy to meet. This is generally not the same as a clitoris, or indeed any part of the female reproductive apparatus, all components of which may often be quite intricate to deal with. In my (modest) experience, girls doing handjobs inevitably find it hard understand that I really do just want them to grab it and tug it up and down very fast for a long period of time. Even if they realise this, they often can't continue for long without getting tired and giving up.

Or maybe it's just me.

I like going down. It can sometimes be a puzzle, but once I have learned preferences I feel good at it and it also makes me feel more confident when it comes to getting my own rocks off, as I feel that I have already given enough pleasure to be forgiven if I come too early (although hardly unprecedented, this happens to me far less often teenage self used to worry it would). Doing a girl in the bum doesn't appeal to me when there's a perfectly good vagina right there. Doing a guy in the bum could be interesting, but I can't imagine having a relationship (in the broad sense) with a man that would make me comfortable with the act. I would be willing to try taking it myself at least once in my life - if only to find out what a prostate orgasm is like.
 
My only problem with cunnilingus is that the taste does seem to linger for a long time in the mouth, even if you brush your teeth. It's a bit better if she's on her period, as the taste is saltier (which I prefer), but then you wake up with dried blood in your face, which isn't very pleasant either.
 
Who amongst as can say they haven't ever woken up with a mouth full of blood before? Not I.
 
That is consequently what women and blenders have in common. If you put your tongue in them while they're on you get a mouthful of blood.
 
Love holding the girl up, sliding her up and down my pulsating shaft. She has to be well and truly slippery though. So lick her pussy well. Mmmm. I love to lick pussy, so good seeing the smile and hearing the moans of pleasure.
 
This thread has been instrumental in my decision to go through a chemical castration.
 
Enjoy your decades of herpes lesions without any children to comfort you through the outbreaks of genital pain.
 
I love sex, my girl and I do it about 5 times a week and it can go anywhere from 10 minutes for us to around 2 hrs. We have lots of fun and I make her orgasm many times. We used to try condoms but then I got sick of them and eventually she liked it that way too. Bad part is right now is that her pills ran out for the month so we have to be very very careful I don't shoot a load in her. Sad part is she won't let me do her in da butt but I'm ok with that for now. Also she said I'm her best **** and fingerer. I have yet to go down on her which I'm more than likely going to do tonight. We've been ****ing for 6 months (dating for slightly longer) but tonight is the night. I personally don't like licking pussy but its just me. I'd rather **** but tonight I'm willing to tonight. :D
 
How can you have gone six months without even once being talked into eating pussy? You must be a good negotiator. :p
 
I am her best ****, she says I'm the best all the time so I guess I'm doing something right. She has complained about me not going down on her but I sent her flowers today at her work...and then tonight I'll give my tongue a workout
 
The Monkey said:
How can you have gone six months without even once being talked into eating pussy? You must be a good negotiator. :p
Click to expand...

We waited a long time too, probably about six months as well if not longer. At the time, I'd never gone down/been gone down on before, and I didn't want to do it until we were very, very comfortable with each other...I don't know why, I mean, I had no inhibitions about sleeping with him.

I wouldn't have any such inhibitions now though.
 
Warped said:
We used to try condoms but then I got sick of them and eventually she liked it that way too. Bad part is right now is that her pills ran out for the month so we have to be very very careful I don't shoot a load in her.
Click to expand...

This is incredibly stupid. Buy some ****ing condoms.
 
Yeah, you realise precum contains actual tiny people, right? I hope you're not trying to deploy coitus interuptus.
 
Samon Fish said:
Can we not put Pi's children and Vegeta together in the same sentence - in a sex thread, no less? Errrraaaruuuuurgghh.
Click to expand...
Pi knows better than to not have female offspring in a world where I exist.
 
I don't trust birth control pills even though my girl takes them perfectly on time every day. Condoms are good if you get the right kind. Spend a couple extra bucks and get good ones that are the right size and shape for your junk and everything will be much better. Still can't be the old pump and pray though.

Also, I've read that precum usually only contains sperm when there's still residual sperm around from previous ejaculations. Still... it's all enough to make me want to get a vasectomy. I figure if I end up married one day with a hot wife I want to jump on from various heights with spectacular dismounts, I'd probably get one and just lock down a sperm bank in case I want some half clones to train in to warriors.
 
Warped said:
I am her best ****, she says I'm the best all the time so I guess I'm doing something right. She has complained about me not going down on her but I sent her flowers today at her work...and then tonight I'll give my tongue a workout
Click to expand...

Wow i'm eating a sandwich.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Krynn72
You guys, what the **** is up.
Replies
11
Views
1K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
HL2.NET HORROR SLAP
Replies
7
Views
2K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
MFL
Fascinating look at the ongoing psychological evolution of flat hieirarchies.
Replies
2
Views
2K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
bbson john
Hi everyone. I am new to this forum!
Replies
11
Views
6K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
B
Marc Laidlaw talks more about his Half-Life 2: Episode Three ideas
Replies
3
Views
21K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
Back
Top